Driven 31
cWo presents Driven 31
Live from the Amway Arena in Orlando, Florida
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Keeping his word
[Tony “Totally” Awesome is seen walking down the hallway as Mary-Joe tries to run after him.]
Mary-Joe: Tony! Tony!
[Tony “”Totally” Awesome looks annoyed as he turns around.]
Tony “Totally” Awesome: Yes, Mary-Joe, I'm in a hurry. I need to wash my hair
Mary-Joe: Cut the crap! I just need to make sure that you are going to keep your word.
[Tony “Totally” Awesome pulls a piece of paper out of his tuxedo pocket.]
Tony “Totally” Awesome: Oh, I kept my word, dear!
[He hands her the paperwork as she reads it.]
Tony “Totally” Awesome: It is all right there. The purchase and the authorization and my signature.
[Mary-Joe looks on with approval.]
Mary-Joe: This is great...
[Tony “Totally” Awesome interrupts her.]
Tony “Totally” Awesome: Not so fast. I kept my word, now you need to keep yours.
[Mary-Joe slowly backs away.]
Tony “Totally” Awesome: Because while I made you happy, my main priority is getting ratings and butts in the seats. And there is something you can do that will increase ratings
Mary-Joe: But...
Tony “Totally” Awesome: No buts, you do it by Slam in the Sand or I take the reward you promised the women away.
[He takes the paper works back from her hands.]
Tony “Totally” Awesome: Are we in agreement?
Mary-Joe: Fine!
Tony “Totally” Awesome: Great!
[Tony “Totally” Awesome walks away whistling as as Mary-Joe stomps off.]
[The cWo logo flashes and spins past the screen, as it spins out of control and hits the camera, we see a crack in the camera as clips of cWo wrestlers spew out of the crack in the screen doing what they do best. Sevendust's "Driven" begins to play as we see clips of the following weeks programs. First a clip of Barret Hawk's first match is shown, followed by the debut of Jezebel, Mike Logan holding a mic after his first match and finally three clips of Raymond Jacobson hitting the RJA on his opponents. Raymond Jacobson appears in front of the blank screen that reads
I AM DRIVEN
The picture switches and Mike Logan now appears in front of the blank screen.
I AM cWo
Footage of JJ's Carter's history in the company shown, followed by Shabazz's first appearance and then them being accompanied to the ring by Mad Maddie. This is followed by Chastity McGavin's entrance with Mary-Joe following her then shots of her various squash matches this is cut with footage of Jen Diamond's history with company and her squash matches over the last few weeks. This ends with Jen Diamond, Mary-Joe Wolf, and Chastity McGavin united on the rampway at Glory. Jen and Chastity appear before the blank screen with Mary-Joe grinning between them.
I AM DRIVEN
The figures in front of the blank screen switches to JJ Carter and Brother Shabazz with Mad Maddie in between them.
I AM cWo
Clips of Devon Dice's first matches in the company are shown followed by his world title win and ending with him walking to the ring with an ivory tooth pick in his mouth after his gentlemen's make over. Then clips of Chandler Dalmon's very first appearance is shown with him offering an opponent a briefcase of money, followed by his battle royal win and then him performing a spear on Raymond Jacobson. Clips of Thaddeus Walker's storied history is shown with his win in the first ever triple threat match, his battles with Devon Dice, him fighting Stephanie Bliss in a wooden cage, him holding a bottle honor and finally him standing united with Devon Dice and Chandler Edsel Dalmon in the middle of the ring as the World Gentlemen League. Thaddeus Walker appers before the blank screen.
I AM DRIVEN
The screen switches to Dice and Dalmon standing next to eachother.
I AM cWo
Next, a clip of Nick Dangerous hitting Johnny Serious over the head with a steel chair at Cyberslam is shown. Followed by John Pilchard confronting Chris Michaels and Anrew Fiasco and then a brief shot of Tony Awesome. Next Johnny Serious playing tug of war with the World title with Nick Dangerous is shown, then his win over Thaddeus Walker for the U.S title, followed by his victory over Mr. Rich at Cyberslam. Footage of Josh Cantrell's first cWo run is shown as well as his matches against Nick Dangerous and Chazz Mendel and then shots of his return and his match with Jacob Baxter. Then clips of Jacob Baxter first few matches in cWo is shown, followed by him confronting a returning Josh Cantrell, and then his U.S Title win. Jacob Baxter appears before the blank screen holding his U.S title.
I AM DRIVEN
The image changes to Josh Cantrell in front of the blank screen.
I AM cWo
Next Chazz Mendel entering the ring being accompanied by Reg is shown, followed by him being accompanied to the ring by The Cop and The GOK. Footage of the matches between himself and Nick Dangerous and Johnny Serious is shown, as well as his cage match against Jack Union and finally him making Andrew Phillips tap at Cyberslam. Clips of Heretic beating the living crap out of Muru and Jen Diamond is shown followed by his entrance to the ring and him hitting the Baby Killer on several opponents. Heretic appears in front of the blank screen.
I AM DRIVEN
His image changes to that of Chazz Mendel.
I AM cWo
This is followed by Andrew Mendel's return to the cWo and his turn on his adopted family, then his Cyberslam entrance. This is followed by him holding the cWo World title. He appears befor the blank screen.
I AM DRIVEN
Then a shot of him holding the world title over his shoulder in fron to the blank screen is shown.
I AM cWo
Worthy of a Challenge?
[The show begins at the Amway Arena in Orlando, Florida with Josh Cantrell, not dressed to compete wearing tan cargo shorts and a red wife beater, standing alone in the ring under a single spotlight with a microphone in hand. The spotlight gives off just enough light to make a roll of chain link fence in the ring behind him.]
Lance Wilden: Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to cWo Driven. I’m not sure what’s going on because we’ve been in the dark for the last 10 minutes but it appears that “The Product of Hate” Josh Cantrell has something to say.
Robbie Hart: I could have thought of a lot better ways to start my night and they all end with Mary Joe Wolf’s clothes in a pile at the foot of my bed.
Wilden: Well you keep dreaming, I’m interested to see what The Product of Hate has to say and to find out why there is a roll of chain link fence in the ring with him.
Josh Cantrell: They say ya win some and ya lose some, but here lately all I’ve been doing is losing. I came back to cWo to get revenge on Chazz Mendel and Nick Dangerous for taking the first half of 2008 away from me. I saw that Johnny Serious was on a mission to get Nick Dangerous back into cWo so I jumped on the bandwagon because I wanted a piece of Nick for myself. Then Jacob Baxter stuck his nose in my business, and I didn’t slap it off his face like I should have cause I was too preoccupied with helping Serious get Dangerous back in cWo. Week in and week out for the past couple of months The Bastard has had the upper hand cause whether it’s John Pilchard and Mr. Rich doing the wheeling and dealing for Nick Dangerous, or the past coming back to haunt me with Alishya… I mean Phantasy showing up in cWo my focus wasn’t on what it should have been.
[He pauses for a moment and walks over to the roll of chain link and shakes it, the rattle of the steel can be heard loudly over the PA.]
Josh Cantrell: Well I’ve spent the last week doing a lot of thinking, trying to get my head clear from all that. Alishya you said it yourself, I need to get over you. I thought I was for a long time but you showing up here brought back some old feelings and it’s pretty damn clear you don’t want anything to do with me, so if we pass in the halls backstage I’ll say “Hi” but that’s all you’re getting out of me. Sayonara sweatheart.
[Cantrell looks a bit concerned as this draws a few light boos from the females in the crowd.]
Wilden: I think this is the first time I’ve heard the fans even remotely boo Josh Cantrell he’s been one of it not the most well liked wrestlers by the fans for the better part of a year.
Hart: Maybe they’re wising up, but I doubt it.
Josh Cantrell: Come on people you have to understand, all this confusion in my already questionable mind is why Jacob Baxter is walking around with the defaced cWo UNITED STATES TITLE and calling it something else. Baxter has defended that belt three times, and three times he’s kept it. Johnny Serious had Nick Dangerous on the brain and that’s why he lost, Raymond Jacobson got distracted by Mrs. Doubtfire and he lost, and JJ Carter lost thanks to me. Wasn’t anything personal, but I wanna be the guy to take that belt from The Bastard, and to do that I have to stop worrying about everyone else. I’m through thinking about Johnny Serious, Nick Dangerous, Chazz Mendel, John Pilchard, Mr. Rich, Phantasy, or anyone else. My focus is on Jacob Baxter and I want my shot at that strap around his waist and I want it at Slam in the Sand!
[The fans cheer wildly at Cantrell’s challenge to Baxter.]
Wilden: Yes! Jacob Baxter against Josh Cantrell with the title on the line, this is huge and there’s no one better than The Product of Hate to take that title from The Bastard.
Hart: Anyone would be better, but I like it where it’s at.
[Cantrell motions with his hand and the spot light goes off as the house lights come on.]
Josh Cantrell: But I ain’t done, ya see I don’t just pack around rolls of chain link fence for my health. I think we need to slap a 20 foot high steel cage up around the ring when I’m bending and breaking “The Bastard” just to keep the distractions out and Baxter in. So whaddya say ‘mate? You’ve ducked me long enough, get your ass out here!
[There’s a brief lull of silence as everyone turns their attention to the entrance way.]
Wilden: Is the bastard willing to talk to Cantrell face to face?
Hart: Give him a minute. It’s a bit of a walk from the dressing room, I’m sure.
[We hear a voice come on over the P.A. system]
Voice: Well aren’t I gobsmacked?
[From the entrance ways enters Jacob Baxter with the FCUK belt on his arm. He’s dressed in track pants and an English national football team jersey. The fans boo him as he mockingly acknowledges them with a wave. Cantrell looks on from the ring with his hands on his hips. As Baxter beings to speak, he slowly makes his way down the aisle.]
Jacob Baxter: Joshy, Joshy, Joshy…could it be? Have you had the bloody sense knocked back into you? Is it true that after a month of pointing out what’s wrong, you’ve finally come to realize that yea, “that ol’ bloke Jacob Baxter had it right the whole time!”
[Baxter slides into the ring. Cantrell takes a step back, ready to throw down in case of an attack. But Baxter backs down.]
Baxter: Now, now, this isn’t a time for shenanigans. I just want to be face to face to see you admit up close that, well, I told you so! Right? You’ve been begging for a chance at me, yet all the while spreading yourself thin with your other matters. I told you that wasn’t the actions of a true challenger and that’s why you haven’t had your chance at my championship. Now, I may be possibly convinced and inclined to accept your challenge for the Fighting Championship of the United Kingdom at Slam in the Sand!
[The crowd begins to cheer in excitement over the possibility of Cantrell finally getting a shot.]
Baxter: But I’m not quite set on it yet! [crowd boos] Why do I bugger myself with your own issues? I grew up a professional fighter! I covet the meaning of championships such as the one on my shoulder. Titles like mine don’t deserve to be held by spoiled, paper champions who once they actually get the title will try all means necessary to keep it in the easiest fashion. The workload does not get easier when you are champion. It only gets harder, because this belt? This is a target painted on your back. You know that. You were a champion once. Every man who has taken up my challenge these past few weeks were hungry. They wanted it. They strive for it. That’s what I needed to see out of you.
[Baxter walks closer to Cantrell as the two are practically face-to-face]
Baxter: And it looks like you’ve stepped it up with this little challenge of yours. Steel cage? Quaint. I’m not gonna allow you stealing this title by skiving over some fence or waltzing through some door. If we have a cage match, it’s good ol’ pinfall or submission as the only way to be victorious.
[Cantrell nods in agreement.]
Baxter: Are you truly ready though, mate? ‘Cuz like I said, I don’t quite believe you. You think you could go one night without Nick Dangerous and John Pilchard on the mind? Thinking of all the things he did to you? If we were locked up in that cage and Dangerous sat right there at ringside, or even stood right out that cage, you wouldn’t even glance at him? How about your little Alishya or should I say Phantasy? She’s a nice gal, ain’t she? I do fancy that. If Pilchard and Dangerous went after her to get to you and it was all going down as seen on that giant telly up there and you were in that cage with me? You would stay in that cage? What matters to you, Joshy?
[At this point Baxter points a finger at Cantrell]
Baxter: I don’t think you have what it takes to sacrifice that for a shot at this. I think YOU [points at Cantrell’s face] have become too beaten down for your own good. I think YOU [points] truly don’t know what matters. I think YOU [points again], good man, have turned from a Product of Hate to a Product of Fear! A Product of Weakness! You’ve become an emotional nancy boy! And YOU have no purpose and no right to stand face to face with me in this ring tonight or any night and care about your personal vendettas more than what we are really here for! THIS! [Baxter holds the belt up to Cantrell’s face] THIS means NOTHING to you anymore! You have no desire for it! So why should I…
Wilden: Cantrell drives a right hand at Baxter! Baxter fires a shot back but is blocked! Another punch by Cantrell! Cantrell driving him with punches towards the ropes! Cantrell has reached his boiling point!
[Cantrell whips Baxter into the chain link fence in the ring then proceeds to spear him through the chain link fence to the outside!]
Hart: Somebody stop this! Josh Cantrell is a coward and mauling our Fighting Champion of the United Kingdom! This isn’t fair!
[Officials from the back run out to separate the two. The two are pulled apart, Baxter held at ringside and Cantrell up the entrance way. Cantrell points at Baxter yelling “I’M READY! I’M READY!” Baxter backs down and calms down as the referees release him and grabs Donna Dixon’s microphone.]
Baxter: Sunday, Joshy Boy, bloody Sunday will not be a day at the beach for you!
Leave it to us
[Backstage, we are at the door of Mike Logan's locker room and from the outside, we hear a girl moaning in arousal as Mike's moaning as well. Just then, we see Barrett Hawk walk up and hear the noise and just shake his head. He then sighs and knocks on the door. We hear Mike shout at the door.]
Mike Logan: Go away! I'm entertaining a lady-friend at the moment.
(Undeterred, Barrett knocks on the door again and finally, the moaning stops and Mike comes to the door, only wearing a towel as his female companion on this night, a very voluptuous blonde peeks her head out the door with a towel barely concealing her nudity as Barrett looks at the scene as Mike Logan stares at Hawk for a moment before he begins to speak.]
Mike Logan: Look hayseed, I don't do three-somes with any sausage besides mine involved so... are you staring at my "Loga-Conda"?
Hawk: Whatever thoughts are runnin' through your head right now I'd suggest you get 'em out. Look I don't know if you're tryin' to help me, I don't know if you're tryin' to get on my bad side, and I appreciate if you really had tried to help me last week, but every time you've tried to help me since my knowin' ya has only been a hindrance.
Logan: Is that a fact, cowpoke? Unless that farmer's tan you've got has fried your brain, you'd be able to recall that they didn't just attack you... they attacked "The Canadian Gigolo" too!
Hawk: Well if you're fixed on them getting a taste of their own medicine I'd suggest you let me, Raymond Jacobson and Sean Pason handle it. Then you and I can finish what we started.
Logan: Finish what WE started? So if I just sit back, grab a cold one, get a deep massage from Erin here... and let you guys do the work for me, you'll finally accept my offer and leave that beast of yours for a beauty of mine?
Hawk: What I'm sayin' is let us take care of the WGL, then you and I can see who the better man is between you and I without getting beaten and doused with paint.
Logan: I don't understand why you hate me so much, hay-seed. I'm just trying to help you with your miserable, pathetic life and you keep showing me the door. But this thing with the WGL, this isn't just exclusive to you and your friends, this is us and them, so if there's gonna be a war between you and your buddies and the WGL, I'm in too. Now leave me and my woman alone so I can finish what I started!
[Mike Logan slams the door in Barrett's face, who looks increasingly frustrated, as we hear the woman laughing and moaning at the same time.]
Hart: Take down the WGL? Impossible!
Wilden: It looks like we’ve got a loose alliance against them, as Mike Logan wants to get a piece of them for himself!
Hart: And to think I used to like that guy!
Wilden: Fans, Driven is off to an explosive start! Already we’ve seen a cell match announced between Josh Cantrell and Jacob Baxter for Slam in the Sand, and that show just keeps getting better!
Hart: I can’t wait to see Cantrell with no help, and no escape!
Wilden: I think it’ll be Mister Baxter who’s looking for an escape, Robbie! How’s he gonna pull his bastardly shenanigans when locked in a cage?
Hart: He’ll find a way!
Wilden: Well folks, let’s get started with our show for tonight! First up, we have…..
Fair Warning
[The lights go our as the Voice of Johnny Serious comes over the sound system and says "Are You SERIOUS." An orange light turns on in the arena as the song "Elevation" by U2 plays. Johnny Serious makes his way out. He enters the ring, goes to a corner, climbs the turnbuckle and raises his hands to the crowd with a playful cocky smile as the regular house lights come back on.]
Wilden: Hold that thought!
Hart: Ugh. We can’t have ONE NIGHT without him?
Wilden: Week after week this man, Johnny Serious has been the victim of some ruthless Nick Dangerous trick, and at Slam In The Sand, Dangerous will have to step in the ring and answer for his choices.
Hart: You assume that Nick Dangerous is behind every little bad thing that happens to Johnny Serious.
[Johnny Serious grabs a mic.]
Johnny Serious: Normally I would come out here, crack a few jokes, and be on my way, but tonight, just days away from Slam in the Sand, I am out here to say that I have had enough of the B.S. from Nick Dangerous and company. Mr. Rich, John Pilchard, a bunch of never will be students and of course, Nick Dangerous himself. Over the past few months, hell, for over a year, Nick Dangerous has been avoiding facing me in the ring, one on one. Finally, at Slam in the Sand, Nick Dangerous has no choice but to face me. And not his Students, not Mr. Rich or Pilchard are going to stop me from tearing Nick Dangerous to shreds. The fact of the matter is, Nick Dangerous has had this coming, and everyone wants a piece but I get first crack, which is the way it ought to be!
Hart: Serious should stop while he is still ahead!
Wilden: Johnny has waited a long time for this match, and it might be the most anticipated match of 2008!
Johnny Serious: And in all SERIOUSNESS, I can guarantee you people that at Slam In The Sand, you people are going to see a side of Johnny Serious that hasn't been seen in a long time. It's the side that most people hated. But I have to do what it takes to show Nick Dangerous that bashing me over the head with a steel chair and nearly ending my career was a bad move. And sometimes you have to dig into your evil side to take care of business that no one wants to do themselves. I will always be SERIOUS, but at Slam In The Sand, I am more than SERIOUS! And Nick Dangerous is going to regret every move he has made over the past year, starting off with SERIOUSLY DANGEROUS to denying me a promised shot at his world title, to pulling a PEARL HARBOR on me at Cyberslam VI! So Nick Dangerous, if you are watching, and I know that you are, you can do all the prep you want, but you are not walking out of Slam In The Sand pain free. That I am SERIOUS about-
[The fans rally behind Serious when the attitude quickly turns to jeers as we see John Pilchard come out interrupting Johnny's speech.]
Pilchard: Yooooouuu yooooooouuuuu yooooooooooou yooooooooouuuuuuuuu you! Every time Johnny! Every time you come out here all I hear is you, talking about you! Whenever all eyes are on you, it's always about you isn't it? That's why we're where we are now, because every time Nick and I have thrown another piece of the puzzle that makes Nick Dangerous' legacy what it is today, you try to take that piece and make it your own.
[Pilchard inches his way towards the ring as he speaks.]
Pilchard: You need to understand that what happens on Sunday, when you finally look eye to eye with your maker that none of it was Nick's fault! We're where we are, because for every time Nick said no, you wouldn't listen, for every time Nick put you back in your place, hell! The only thing that is Nick Dangerous' is the fact that you can walk to this ring to fanfare and spectacle in spite the fact that you don't deserve half of it. Not even half.
[Pilchard shakes his head in disapproval as he walks up the stage and enters the ring, looking sternly in the eyes of Johnny Serious.]
Pilchard: I mean, the only thing that you can say is Nick Dangerous' fault, is how hard it's gonna be to look your fans, your family, your closest friends in the eyes. Because after this Sunday, when you look in the eyes of anyone who you know, and knows you, you're gonna see the look of many men and women who once loved you, struggling with themselves to fight the memory of seeing Johnny Serious, on his knees in the center of this ring, with blood draped over his eyes, begging and apologizing for wasting an entire year of Nick Dangerous' lif-HEY!
[Johnny Serious grabs John Pilchard by the collar of his shirt.]
Pilchard: You don't wanna do this!
Serious: Give me a good reason not to!
[Fans go wild as Serious shoves Pilchard into the corner, causing him to drop his mic along the way.]
Hart: He's hit his breaking point!
Wilden: Serious hit his breaking point long before tonight, he's just never got his hands on Pilchard in the past! Give him what he deserves Johnny! Come on!
[Suddenly Serious takes his attention off of Pilchard to fend himself from some unfamiliar faces, along with some familiar faces from last week.]
Wilden: Who are these people?
Hart: I think I recognize some of them.
Wilden: Some of them look like the old students from last week's main event.
Hart: Yeah, the ones that had any balls!
[Serious has no problem taking care of the students for the most part, knocking each one that comes up to him with a right hand.]
Wilden: Serious holding his own against, eight...ten...eleven guys here!
[Serious struggles as one of the students hop on the back of Serious' neck hanging on with a rear naked choke.]
Hart: Here we go!
Wilden: The numbers are just too much. But Serious still swinging for the fences!
[Serious continues to knock the attackers down with rights and lefts while dealing with someone on his back.]
Wilden: He's not gonna quit!
[Suddenly Pilchard gets physically involved, kicking Serious in the genitals.]
Wilden: LOW BLOW!
Hart: Even Pilchard can kick Johnny Serious' ass!
Wilden: Takes a small man to hit another man in their genitalia Robbie!
[Serious crumbles to the ground as the ambushers lay waste to him similar to the beating laid on Serious at the end of last week's show.]
Wilden: That's eleven people kicking all over Serious' body, someone has to stop this!
[Pilchard himself approaches his assistants as he instructs two people to hang on to Johnny Serious by the arms, two people per arm as they raise him to his knees.]
Pilchard: Serious! Two weeks ago I introduced to you a group of young men to you that it took Nick only two weeks to train to fight. Well since then two weeks have passed, and I introduce to you even more men, trained to fight. What can I say! I told you not to mess with Nick Dangerous, and you didn't, so wound up embarassing yourself with the shortest title reign in cWo history! I told you again, and you wound up getting a bump on the head that still hasn't left you! I told you to keep your hands off me, and now you're barely able to walk! So now, I'm telling you, stay home this Sunday-
Wilden: Oh please.
Pilchard: Stay home, I've never been wrong before. I said Nick Dangerous has become a weapon, these people around you? They're a mere fraction of the people who approached him looking for the fame and fortune these men now share, but somewhere along the learning process Nick hurt them, he sent them out on a gourney and never looked back. He's an animal, he's hurting people and he's starting to care less and less about it, do you really feel ready to take the devil on and beat him at his own game? This is hell Johnny, and Nick Dangerous has the hometown advantage!
Wilden: Somebody stop this already!
[Fans boo with intensity as Pilchard is right in Serious' face, as Serious collects himself and looks to be trying to free himself from the grasp of Dangerous' students to get some of Pilchard.]
Pilchard: He's gonna tear you apart! Every nerve, every vessel, every limb, every inch of you will be broken! You're not ready for him, you don't have any....
[Fans cheer loudly when they see a familiar face in Chris Michaels with a chair in hand charging down to Serious' aid.]
Wilden: Here comes Chris Michaels! It's Chris Michaels! Oh my god!
Hart: He's not allowed to do this! He wasn't hired!
Wilden: Someone had to do it!
[Michaels gets in and immediately blasts one of the students with the chair, as the rest of them with Pilchard walk out. Tony Awesome is seen as Pilchard and crew leave the ring, looking concerned as he tends to Serious.]
Pilchard: As you can see...*pant*it's in your best interest..*pant*not to show up this Sunday!
[Pilchard drops the mic as he and his crew walk away. Cameras catch Awesome looking at Michaels as we audibly hear him say "you're not supposed to get physically involved." To which Michaels responds "then who was gonna, Tony?"]
Wilden: The only pleasure I can take from this situation is that in three days Serious is going to let loose.
Hart: Where Nick Dangerous finally finishes him off!
Wilden: You're in the minority with that opinion. I don't know why Chris Michaels was in the arena tonight, but thank god he was here, because this has gone on long enough.
Hart: Serious was the one who came down and ran his mouth, Nick Dangerous wasn't here to defend himself, someone had to step up!
Wilden: Nick Dangerous is under contract, he could have came here and defended himself.
Hart: Well he's busy focusing on his career! Serious is only focused on this vendetta of his! Walking blindly into trouble, this is no one's fault but Johnny Serious' Lance!
Wilden: Well in my opinion Johnny has every reason to be as irate as he's been lately. I can't wait until this is all behind us. Stress at this level has to be taking years off of Serious' lifeline. We gotta take a break folks.
Wilden: We’re back! We’ve already had some huge moments from the Amway Arena in Orlando, but we’re just getting started!
Hart: What more could we possibly have? Everyone should turn off the show and go get money to buy Slam in the Sand!
Wilden; Don’t tell people to turn off the show!
Hart: Why not?
Wilden: Because up next we have a match featuring two of cWo’s rising female superstars in Meghan Conklin and Mary Joe Wolf’s newest acquisition, Mad Maddie!
Hart: Oh. Well then that’s OK, they can keep watching,
Wilden: Good, I’m glad this has your oh so important approval.
Hart: Is that sarcasm I detect?
Mad Maddie Vs. Meghan Conklin
Donna Dixon: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall... introducing first... from Defiance, Ohio... weighing in at 145 pounds... MEGHANNN... CONNNKLINNNN!!!
[The lights dim and flicker continually in a strobe light pattern of pink & purple as "Poem" by Taproot begins to play over the P.A. system as fog begins to cover the entrance. We then see Meghan Conklin jump out from the smoke, full of energy getting the crowd pumped up for her. She is wearing a black hooded fleece jacket with a black top with a pink star in purple trim with an "M" on the front and black wrestling shorts that come down to her thighs with the pink & purple star on the sides of the shorts. She also has matching knee pads, Japanese style wrist sleeves and Japanese kick pads with black Asiacs wrestling shoes. She starts her walk to the ring tagging hands with the fans briefly before running to the ring and sliding under the bottom rope. She then picks herself off the canvas and climbs the nearest turnbuckle and points at the crowd while motioning for them to make some noise for her. She then does a backflip off the top rope, landing on her feet with pink pyro shooting from the turnbuckles. She then tosses off her jacket and begins to wait on her opponent with a confident smile on her face.]
Wilden: Meghan Conklin certainly has had her hands full in recent weeks with her feud with Jezebel, but you have to admire the spirit this young woman has.
Hart: Yeah, but with her problems with Jezebel, you can’t help but wonder if she’s going to be completely focused on Mad Maddie tonight.
Dixon: And her opponent... from Waterbury, Connecticut... weighing in at 120 pounds... MAD... MMMMADDIE!!!
[“Right Of Way” by Ferry Corsten begins to play as we see Maddie walk to the ring shouting obscenities at the crowd on her way toward the ring as she slides in and mouths off at Conklin a bit before going to her corner.]
Wilden: After what Mad Maddie did a couple of weeks ago to J.J. Carter and Brother Shabazz by turning her back on them and joining Mary Joe Wolf’s camp, I honestly hope she gets what’s coming to her this week.
Hart: All she did was take advantage of the opportunity to join up with the ever-so-hot Mary Joe Wolf and I would have taken that opportunity too!
Wilden: We all know you would have, Robbie. But anyway, there’s the bell and we’re underway.
Hart: Looks like Mad Maddie’s approaching Meghan and mouthing off at her a bit and... OH MAN! She just slapped the taste out of Conklin’s mouth and is going at her with some brutal punches and kicks.
Wilden: Now Maddie whips Conklin into the ropes, but Conklin counters with a beautiful running neckbreaker and Conklin follows that up with a quick Flipover Neck Whip to take the momentum for the moment.
Hart: She’s going to pick her up but Maddie with a couple right hands to the bread-basket has Conklin doubled over. Maddie hits some vicious knife-edged chops to the chest of Conklin and she’s putting the hurting on her!
Wilden: And now Maddie hits the Russian Leg Sweep. Looks like Maddie is in the driver’s seat right now as she has a Reverse Chinlock locked on pretty tightly, but these fans are starting to rally behind Conklin a bit here.
Fans: LET’S GO MEG-HAN!
(Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap)
LET’S GO MEGHAN!
(Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap)
Hart: When is Meghan gonna realize these fans are fickle. They’re gonna turn their backs on her at the first sign of trouble!
Wilden: They don’t appear to be turning on her right now as she’s fighting her way to her feet and with a couple elbows to the stomach, Conklin goes for a kick, but Maddie catches it... only to get caught with that Enzuigiri kick!
Hart: NO!! Come on Maddie, fight back!
Wilden: Conklin going for the cover...
One...
Two...
Hart: Ha! Maddie’s still alive, but MAN, did she cut it close!
Wilden: Fans, we almost had a major upset right then. Conklin’s currently in control at the moment with a Scoop Slam before she does an Irish Whip into the corner.
Hart: looks like she’s going for the Monkey Flip, but Maddie catches it and slams Conklin on her back! Ouch town, population you, Meghan!
Wilden: Now Maddie’s on that second rope with the Diving Elbow drop and she connects it and this thing could be over!
One...
Two...
Robbie Hart: NO! Conklin somehow kicked out of that one!
Lance Wilden: Looks like Maddie is FURIOUS as she’s gone to stomping on Conklin as she’s trying to get up. And now she spits on her! That’s just uncalled for!
Robbie Hart: Maddie appears to be in control at this point and she’s going for a DDT, but Conklin with the counter into a Northern Lights Suplex, she might luck out here!
One...
Two...
Wilden: For the second time in this match, Conklin has ALMOST put Maddie away, but she can’t seem to seal the deal.
Hart: Conklin’s looking to hit something here as she’s waiting for Maddie, this can’t be good!
Wilden: Conklin runs against the ropes and hits a picture perfect spinning heel kick there! Now she’s running up to the top rope and she’s gonna fly!
Hart: She hit the cross body press, but Maddie rolls through it into a pin attempt of her own!
One...
Two...
Wilden: Conklin able to kick out again! What determination this girl has! Conklin catches Maddie getting up and hits a Sit-Out Jawbreaker. Now, she turns it around into a Reverse DDT into a Legdrop and that’s her “Breaking Taboo” move!
Hart: Damn it! No! Come on Maddie...
Wilden: Wait a minute! What the hell is Jezebel doing making her way to ringside? She’s got no business out here!
Hart: Are you gonna tell her she’s got no business out here? I don’t think so!
Wilden: Unaware of her presence, Conklin heads up top and hits her Swanton Bomb that she calls the “Act Of Defiance”! But DAMNIT! Jezebel’s shouting at her on the apron.
Hart: Conklin’s making a mistake here focusing on Jezebel!
Wilden: Jezebel running her mouth at Conklin, but she gets a running elbow attack right to the jaw, knocking her off the apron! But OH NO! Out of nowhere, Maddie recovers and hits a DDT and is going for the pin!
Hart: Ha ha, YES!
One...
Two...
Three!!!
Wilden: Damn it, Conklin got robbed because of Jezebel tonight, plain and simple! This is an injustice!
Hart: Oh come off of it, Lance!
Donna Dixon: Ladies and Gentlemen... the winner of the match... MAD MMMMADDIE!!
Wilden: And Maddie’s getting the hell out of Dodge as Jezebel makes her way into the ring with a microphone, staring with a possessed look in her eyes...
Hart: This can’t be good!
Jezebel: Est-ce que j’ai fait ma remarque? Est-ce que j’ai fait mon espace foutu de point? Jetz un bop coup d’oeil a votre petit heros. Regardez-la! Les plus vous acclamation sans valeur de moutons pour elle, les choses plus mauvaises allez etre pur elle!
Wilden: These fans certainly not taking too kindly to Jezebel’s diatribe in French.
Hart: And Jezebel just kicked Conklin in the ribs! That’s absolutely uncalled for!
Jezebel: Tais-toi! Fermez la baise! Voyez ce que se produit quand vous essayez d’etre un heros? Voyez ce que se produit quand vous combat pour ce qu’est droit? Au claquement dans le sable, mon cher, vous allez decouvrir la maniere dure pourquoi vous devriez ne jamais salir avec moi! Soyez pret pour une mort lente et apinful. Beau joir, chienne!
Wilden: And she kicks Conklin in the face as she walks away with Conklin’s lip split open!
Hart: Those two are going to tear one another’s heads off at “Slam In The Sand”, there’s no doubt about that!
We’ll get the job done
[We now head backstage to find J.J. Carter and Brother Shabazz sitting in a poorly lit locker room.]
Shabazz: I have a weird feeling about today man.
Carter: Why do you say that?
Shabazz: I don't know, I just do.
Carter: Our lawyer called me this morning. He says the entire Bridgeport office is rooting for us at the Pay Per View.
Shabazz: OK.
Carter: I'm just tired of these girls. Once and for all, they need to be beaten. Mary Joe just needs to shut up for good. Maddie... that girl ain't right.
Shabazz: Even when she was hanging out with us, we could never tell what she was about to do next...
[Off in the distance you can hear Maddie screaming at the top of her lungs, but too faint to determine what exactly she's saying.]
Shabazz: See?
Carter: Is she still trying to fight Meghan? I thought that match ended already.
Shabazz: I don't even know anymore. She's always wanting to beat someone up.
Carter: And now I get to beat up a 50 year old who barely wrestles. Fun fun. Why am I still getting stuck with this crap? Can a black guy get another crack at Baxter? If it wasn't for the interference, I'd be U.S. Champ right now.
Shabazz: Just gotta keep proving ourselves man. We're the best tag team in this industry right now. Keep that eye on the ball, Slam in the Sand, these fem bitches. We'll get the job done.
[The camera cuts back to Lance and Robbie.]
Wilden: JJ Carter is wise to suspect something, Robbie. We know there’s no fair play with Mary-Joe Wolf and her little gang!
Hart: What, just because a woman’s successful it’s because she’s cheated?
Wilden: Not at all… just Mary-Joe!
Hart: I don’t even know you anymore.
More innovation!
["Maple Leaf Rag" begins to play as the whole WGL unloads onto the rampway. They are lead by "Hollywoodland" Thaddeus Walker who is playing air violin. He is quickly followed by "That Devious Fellow" Devon Dice with an ivory toothpick in his mouth and on his other side "Big Smarty" walks out with a copy of "The Tale of Two Cities in his hands with his valet Ameryca by his side! Behind them Xyce Pac walks out with TJ Walker carrying a plastic bag and CB Fowler wearing black face dressed as Sean Pason.]
Wilden: We weren't supposed to be seeing these guys until later on tonight, what are they doing out here?
Hart: They are TAKING OVER! Soon the show will be called "Bicyclen!"
Wilden: If that day ever comes I am quitting!
[Thaddeus is the first one to climb in followed by Chandler who opens the ropes for his "valet." Dice hops over the ropes as Xyce and the rest enter! TJ Walker immediately unloads the items in his plastic bag: fireworks. TJ and Fowler place the cheap fourth of July fireworks in a row. Thaddeus and Dice get the two far sides of the ring as Ameryca stands inbetween Xyce Pac and Chandler Edsel Dalmon in the middle of the ring. They look back until TJ gives them the thumbs up and lights up the fireworks. As the cheap storebought fireworks go off Thaddeus, Dice, Chandler and Pac pound their chest with their first three times. On the third pound, Xyce Pac jumps up while doing.]
Wilden: It looks like the added some group choreography over the last week!
Hart: They are so cool!
Wilden: I just think they should put more thought into what they do in ring rather than their "stunts."
[The music and fireworks die down as Devon Dice grabs the mic as the crowd boos.]
Dice: Hi There!
Hart: He is the stoic member of the WGL.
Wilden: You mean the "one note" member?
[Next Xyce Pac grabs the microphone as the crowd boos him even louder. He looks around for a few seconds and then speaks.]
Xyce Pac: Everybody chill!
[You suck chants begin to fill the arena. These fans obviously have not forgotten about his constant no shows!]
Xyce Pac: I'm afraid my condition has left me cold to your pleas of mercy.
[He pauses as the boos continue!]
Xyce Pac: Tonight's forecast...a freeze is coming!
Hart: That was a chilling prophecy from Xyce Pac!
Wilden: But what does it mean? He mainly just talks gibberish about ice and the such.
[Chandler picks up the mic as the boos get even louder.]
Dalmon: Yes, I know it is a shame that I am not being acknowledged as the number one contender for the U.S title! You guys are doing a great job of booing that system that says that a long haired ruffian deserves a title shot in the name of petty revenge! But that is not why we are out here! We are out here because we were challenged by a group of men to face off against them at Slam in the Sand. I am A-okay with facing them but I do have a couple of concerns. Firstly, it is quite obvious that Barret Hawk cannot afford medical insurance or anything else that can better him. How do I know that he isn't going to turn around and sue me if I hurt him too much? I don't! Secondly, my best buddy, my student is on the opposing team... I don't know if I have the heart to beat him in the middle of that ring again. I don't know why he hates me so. My new associate, Ameryca, even tried to mend our friendship but instead he tried to rough her up.
[Ameryca, obviously a man dressed in drag grabs the microphone]
Ameryca: Don't treat me like a man, treat me like a woman.
[He/she hands the microphone back the Chandler.]
Dalmon: When it comes down to it, Jacobson is just jealous. He's jealous that I am smarter than him, he is jealous that I have a degree, he is jealous that I beat him...
Wilden: No, he didn't!
Dalmon: And he is jealous that I am the real number one contender for the FCUK title! He is so jealous of me that he struck an agressive campaign against my honor society! So, Jacobson, I'll put our friendship aside and do what is best by WGL and that is to pin you in the middle of the ring once more!
["Big Smarty" hands the microphone to "Hollywoodland" Thaddeus Walker who steps up with TJ who is dressed to the nines.]
Walker: Yes folks, we have decided how we will face the evils of the darky, the prospector, the filthy sailor, and the mic... or at least I assume he is a mic. It is quite obvious that these scoundrels want a war. A war is a situation that I was trying to avoid, but those scalliwags left me not a choice but to retaliate! This meeting of gentlemen and the scourge of society is going to be the bloodiest, most violent battle America has ever seen. This isn't a match as much as it is a war. That is why I am dubbing this match World War II.
[Suddenly, "Drug of Choice" by 10 Year plays as Jacobson comes out leading Pason and Barret Hawk out to the ring.]
Wilden: It looks like Jacobson, Hawk and Pason couldn't take anymore.
Hart: It is just like them to ruin a good WGL speech.
Jacobson: Thaddeus, you want a war? You got one the minute you jumped me! You think you were on a mission of goodwill? Fine, then so are we. Our good will mission is to shut down the WGL for good! That is one goal that is going to be accomplished at Slam in the Sand!
[Suddenly, "The Stroke" begins to play as Mike Logan stomps out. He takes the microphone from Jacobson.]
Wilden: Well, it looks like the fourth member in Team Jacobson is out here now and he doesn't look happy.
Hart: He is perhaps the only member of this time I like.
Logan: You three want to carry my jock for a match? That is fine by me. But what isn't fine is facing these fruits in a regular tag team match. I think after what they did to me in front of the ladies that this fight shouldn't have limits.
[He is cut off by Thaddeus.]
Walker: I'm sorry kind sir, but you must be mistaken. You seem to be under the impression that you make the rules around here when in fact you don't. I have already decided that a war this big cannot be contained in one ring, but in two. And if we were allowed to have this war out in the open, clearly the local authorities would be called and you'd be arrested for fraternizing with a colored fellow!
[Pason grabs the microphone from Logan.]
Pason: Walker, we have been down this road before. You want to make racial remarks, fine. But just hurry up this announcement so I can commence to thinking about how I am going to kick your ass!
[Thaddeus looks stunned.]
Walker: I'll have you know that I sold my ass years ago when I gave up the farming business. And I don't take threats kindly... especially from a devious colored man like yourself! But if you insist. As you all can remember, I was forced to fight a dame last year. But for that match to properly work, I had to invent something that can hold all of us inside. This match calls for that same monumental structure to be used once again. We will have two rings, one for each team and it will be surrounded by the sturdiest lumber in the world. But this time, there is no escape, for if you leave the cage you do not win. I have decided that we will not come out together but one by one in three minute intervals to enhance fairness in this war. Not until all eight fellas are in the ring can pin falls be made.
[Barret Hawk then takes the microphone.]
Hawk: So a war games match?
Thaddeus: This is not a game son! We are not playing hop scotch here. We aren't twelve year old girls, we are men and we must battle it out in manly warfare. Thus we going to be facing off in World War II!
Jacobson: Fine! I like the sound of that! Prepare for a long night guys!
Wilden: Well folks, there you have it. A War games...
Hart: You mean world war II match!
Wilden: Yes, these men will be facing eachother in a wooden cage. This is going to be quite the exciting show Robbie. Stay tuned, Sean Pason Vs. WGL's Sean Pason is up next.
Magnificent Strength
[Camera cuts to outside of the arena, where a woman is seen standing next to a car, screaming at the top of her lungs. On further inspection, a child of questionable age is seen within the car, strapped in a seat, equally wailing. After several attempts of trying to open the door, the woman slumps against the car and lands in a seated position with tears streaming down her face. She buries her face in her hands and begins to sob louder, echoing out]
Woman: Someone – help me! I’ve locked my boy in the car and he can’t get out!
[Suddenly, “Push it to the Limit” by Paul Engemann begins to play as purple smoke fills the area surrounding the car. From the opposite end of the screen, a man in purple is seen charging through, knocking over a tree and tripping over a park bench as he makes his way to the downtrodden mother]
Captain Magnificent: Miss, what seems to be the problem here!
Woman: [between sobs] My son – he’s trapped! I can’t get him out!
Captain Magnificent: Don’t you worry, ma’am – Captain Magnificent is here to the rescue!
[He pulls the woman to her feet and tosses her off screen, approaching the car and sizing up the door. The child continues to wail as Captain Magnificent grabs hold of the door and immediately pulls it from the car, lifting it high above his head! The child stops screaming as strong gust of wind approaches, forcing Captain Magnificent to lose his grip on the door. He turns to watch as the door floats away in the wind as the child begins to laugh from his car seat]
Captain Magnificent: Erm, this has been another adventure from none other than Captain Magnificent!
[With a puff of purple smoke and a whip of his cape, the screen fades to black]
Wilden: We’re back! Well ladies and gentlemen coming up is the return of Sean Pason. Once ago Sean "Xtreme" Pason was a rising star in the CWO until an injury left him sided for over 12 months. Sean "Xtreme" Pason went through a transformation.
Hart: Sean "Xtreme" Pason decided to give up all the rewards of fame and fortune to study his craft. Huh what a nerd!
Wilden: Sean Pason gave up his nickname Xtreme since it reminds him of his old self. And Hart Sean Pason is not a nerd, he is a guy who has learned from his mistakes and is ready to make his return.
Hart: Well Sean Pason has decided to return at the worst time possible. After the WGL gave him an invitation to join an established elite group, Pason has the nerve to come in last week and attack them all.
Wilden: An invitation! Thaddeus for weeks have been mocking Pason and others with his actions especially having CB Fowler dress up like Sean Pason by wearing black face paint was just inexcusable. That’s why Sean Pason decided to go up to management and ask for this match personally for his return match.
Hart: Sean Pason better realize that he is out of his league now. The WGL is more dangerous than Sean Pason ever could have imagined. Sean Pason is sticking his nose into other people’s business and may learn that has dire consequences.
Sean Pason vs. “Sean Pason”
Donna Dixon: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, entering the ring first weighing in at two hundred pounds. He hails from parts unknown, he is part of the WGL, “Sean Pason!”
[“Sean Pason” walks towards the ring taunting to the crowd as he is wearing black paint face with a I am the real Sean Pason shirt over his wrestling attire. Fake Pason enters the ring as he climbs the top turnbuckle yelling and pointing to his shirt]
Wilden: That’s clearly CB Fowler! I can’t believe still has the nerve to paint his face black pretending to be Sean Pason. This is going to only infuriate the real Sean Pason even further.
Hart: How do you know that this isn’t the real Sean Pason?
Wilden: He's clearly wearing black face paint!
Hart: Well I'm just following what his shirt says and he is the real Sean Pason
.
Wilden: Unbelievable! Well we wont have to wait long to see the actual Sean Pason.
Donna Dixon: And his opponent, weighing in at 210 pounds and hailing from Charlotte NC, he is making his return to Championship Wrestling Organization, he is Sean Pason!!!
[The lights begin to dim as the intro to “Lights out” begins playing in the background. Then suddenly pictures of Sean Pason rehabbing from his injury is shown. Suddenly the lights go off completely as pyros begin exploding around the entrance ramp. Seconds later Sean Pason slowly walks out to the entrance ramp. Sean wearing a hooded sweatshirt stops and looks around the arena and then does his patented howling to the crowd pumping himself up. Pason can be seen smiling as he points out the crowd; the crowd begins to erupt as he focuses his intention straight ahead towards the ring staring at the fake Pason. Sean Pason slaps a couple of the fans hands that are trying to reach out to him then Sean takes off his sweatshirt and hands it to one of the younger fans sitting in the front row. Sean then slowly enters into the ring as he climbs one of the corner turnbuckle as he taunts to the crowd, the crowd then erupts again with cheers. Sean Pason still grinning turns his head around and continues staring at fake Pason]
Wilden: You can sense that Sean Pason is ready for this match as you can just see the emotion on his face. It has taken Sean Pason over twelve long months to finally be back into the ring. Pason said that he was a more determined athlete that he was going to change. That he would have more of a work ethic, and that his intensity and passion for wrestling would increased. That he has let all the distractions go away.
Hart: Pason may be excited to be back, but that excitement will end very soon, the minute the bell rings and Sean Pason gets a beating of his life.
Wilden: Sean Pason just can’t wait for the bell to ring as Aaron Blake has to hold Pason back.
[Aaron Black informs Pason to step back to the corner turnbuckle;
Pason follows Blake's orders as Blake calls for the bell]
Ding, Ding, Ding
Wilden: Has CB Fowler lost his mind, he is still wearing that shirt and is taunting Sean Pason to come to the center of the ring.
Hart: Taunting, it’s not taunting. The real Sean Pason is just informing Sean Pason who the best Sean Pason is.
Wilden: Do you really understand what you just said?
Hart: I think so
[Fake Pason continues mocking Sean Pason, Sean Pason walks to the center of the ring as both men begin exchanging words. Sean Pason just beginnings grinning at Fake Pason as Fake Pason has had enough of it and slaps Sean Pason in the face]
Wilden: That may have been CB Fowler’s worst mistake as Sean Pason grabs him by the hair and delivers thunderous right punches on Fowler’s forehead. The Imposter is knocked to the ground, but Sean Pason isn’t stopping as he grabs Fowler and delivers another right hand sending Fowler stumbling to the ropes.
Hart: Cheap shots I tell you, Sean Pason is using cheap right hand shots against the real Sean Pason. Some one needs to tell him that this isn’t MMA.
Wilden: Sean Pason runs straight towards Fowler sending Fowler to the outside with a clothesline. Sean Pason is really taking it to Fowler. As Fowler is already seems out of it.
Hart: The real Sean Pason is just regrouping from those cheap shots, he’ll be back is this match in moments.
Wilden: The real Sean Pason! Oh please that is clearly CB Fowler!
Hart: Whatever you say Mr. Delusional.
[Aaron Blake begins a ten count as CB Fowler tries to regain himself]
Wilden: Sean Pason is sliding out to the outside to follow CB Fowler, but Fowler was waiting for Pason as he nails Pason with a kick to lower midsection. Fowler grabs Sean Pason and whips Pason into the guard railing. Fowler slides back into the ring and I can’t believe it he’s acting like he just one the match.
Hart: No Wilden, the Real Sean Pason is just celebrating that he just outsmarted Sean Pason.
[Aaron Blake is up to a 6 count as Sean Pason slides back into the ring]
Wilden: And Fowler continues to be on top of Sean Pason nailing Sean Pason with stomps to the back. But Sean Pason is continuing to get up, Fowler can’t believe it as he continues to hit Pason with stomps.
Hart: The Real Sean Pason is just dominating, no one can stop him.
Wilden: Fowler tries to whip Sean Pason to the ropes, but Pason counters with a whip of his own and delivers a belly overhead suplex on Fowler. Both men are down as Aaron Blake begins a ten count. Aaron Blake is up to a count of 7 as both men begin getting up form the mat. Sean Pason is up first and nails Fowler with a hard kick to the thigh of Fowler. Fowler looks to be in pain as Pason continues with a combo of kicks to the thigh of Fowler and delivers a powerful knee strike to the abdominal of Fowler is down.
Hart: Once again this isn’t MMA someone needs to inform this guy, this is wrestling.
[Sean Pason begins to howl to the crowd as he is signaling for last words]
Wilden: Those kicks are legal in CWO and you know it Hart. Sean
Pason is a unique and versed wrestler. He’ll nail you with some dangerous strikes and then beat you with some clean technical skills. He’s got a hold of Fowler, but Fowler squirms his way out of it and stumbles right towards referee Aaron Blake. Sean Pason lunges straight towards Fowler, but Fowler once again gets out of the way. Sean Pason almost nails Aaron Blake but is able to stop his momentum. CB Fowler tries to take advantage of this with a low blow kick, but Sean Pason has it scouted and grabs CB Fowler’s leg and spins him around. Sean Pason is going for the redemption can he get and no Fowler wrestles his way out of it and tries to deliver a clothesline on Sean Pason but Pason counters with a huge spine buster. Sean Pason has had enough as he signaling for Redemption; Sean Pason has CB Fowler up and delivers the death valley driver. CB Fowler is out cold. Sean Pason is going for the cover.
One
Two
Three
[Ding, Ding, Ding]
Wilden: What a win for Sean Pason in his return match. This had to be just the beginning for Sean Pason and his fight against WGL!
Can they even wait?
[Jason Duran, microphone in hand stands outside Phantasy’s locker room. Jason goes to knock but the door opens and Phantasy starts to step out of the room but sees Jason and quickly attempts to close the door but Jason sticks his foot inside making it unable for to close the door.]
Jason Duran: Wait! I just want to ask you some questions about your issues with Evette, I won’t mention Josh Cantrell.
[She frowns and screams at him.]
Phantasy: You just did!
Jason Duran: Look I don’t know why but the guy is a huge star, people are GOING to talk about him, but I don’t even care what went on with the two of you I want to know, if after her beating you in singles competition and then your team getting the win against hers last week in tag team action, is this thing with you and Evette over?
[She open the door a little farther and steps out into the hall.]
Phantasy: What do you mean by over?
Jason Duran: I mean over as in are the issues resolved. I don’t mean over like you and Josh Cantrell because clearly those issues aren’t.
Phantasy: You said you would not talk about him! I am here to wrestle I do not wish to be part of a Soap Opera. As far as the whore who marries a man for his money, we are not done yet.
[Evette walks over, wearing a white tight shirt that reads GLAMOROUS and a tight black mini-skirt]
Evette: Why don't you try saying that too my face, BITCH!!!!!!
Phantasy:I am through talking...
[Phantasy grabs Evette by the hair and tosses her towards a table. Evette lands on the table and Phantasy follows up by choking Evette out. Evette counters, steps off the table, and pushes Phantasy into the wall. She knees Phantasy in the gut and then takes her down onto the floor as the two begin rolling around, giving our female screams]
Jason Duran: Obviously this issue is not resolved!
[Security comes running in and tries to seperate the screaming women. They both try to fight off security but don't get too far. The camera goes back to Wilden and Hart]
Hart: Why are we not watching two hot girls rolling around on the floor?
Wilden: After what just happened between these two ladies I'm receiving word that things indeed aren't over between them because they'll be facing off at Slam in the Sand!
Hart: Since it is pay per view, I hope they are both naked!
Wilden: Dressed or not dressed, these two ladies have a ton of hatred for each other and it now seems that it will be settled at Slam In The Sand.
[The cameras cut back to DUI, The Duke and Zidane Starkiller entering the ring.]
Jen Diamond and Chastity McGavin Vs. Dynamite, Zidane and DUI
Wilden: Well folks, it looks like we are about ready for our handicap match. It will be these three: The Duke, Zidane, and DUI Vs. Estrogen Uprising members, Chastity McGavin and Jen Diamond. A tall order for the two ladies.Hart: It's unfair I tell ya!
Wilden: I think that these two ladies are going to be up to the challenge. With the help of Mary-Joe they have been tearing up inside the ring for the last few weeks.
Hart: But this is clearly a way to weaken the women before their match. Silly men!
[The lights dim as "Into the Darkness" by Kittie hits the PA and four female figures appear on the rampway. The lights go up and the fans boo the teaming of Chastity McGavin, Jen Diamond, Madelyn Brown being led to the ring by Mary-Joe with the briefcase.]
Wilden: And here comes the ladies that give the opposite sex a bad name.
Hart: That is horrible! These girls are gorgeous, especially Mary-Joe. Wait, is she on her way here! Oh JOY!
[Both Mary-Joe and Maddie make their way to the booth and put on headsets as Diamond and Chastity climb into the ring, slapping hands.]
Wilden: We are being joined by both Mary-Joe and Maddie I guess!
Maddie: You bet your ...
Mary-Joe: QUIET! When you cuss you just don't make yourself look bad, but all women world wide. Cussing, drinking, and smoking is a man thing for a reason.
Hart: Good evening Mary-Joe let me get that for you!
[Robbie Hart pulls out Mary-Joe's seat for her as it is decided that Jen and Zidane will start off! Mary-Joe refuses to sit down.]
Mary-Joe: Um... thanks... but I don't need a man to treat me like a "defenseless woman."
Hart: I didn't mean to...
Mary-Joe: It's ...uh... fine!
Maddie: What the hell is your guy's problem?
Wilden: Their problem is that the match is beginning and my partner is still playing kissy face.
Hart: Am NOT!
Ding Ding Ding
[Diamond and Zidane immediately lock up and Diamond whips around behind Zidane and immediately delivers a release german suplex!]
Wilden: Wow! Diamond out of the gates immediately with a match changing power move! She grabs him and irish whips him into the turnbuckle and follows with a handspring back elbow!
Mary-Joe: Don't look surprised Lance! This is what women are like when they aren't held back by the likes of you!
Wilden: I'm giving a compliment!
Hart: Yes, but you looked sarcastic!
Wilden: Whatever! Tag is made to Chastity and blind tag on Zidane made by DUI! The two ladies rush towards eachother and Chastity immediately with a rolling liberation uppercut! Then an irish whip to the ropes! DUI bounces back and Chastity with a COMPLETE LIBERATION!
Maddie: That is how it is done when you arent f.... freaking holding us back!
Mary-Joe: Apparently I have an echo! I hope J.J Carter and Brother Shabazz are watching because that is just one of the moves that they will find themselves in!
Hart: You have such a way with words!
Mary-Joe: Shut it!
Hart: Shutting!
Wilden: Wait, the Duke rushing in without being tagged in and clotheslines Chastity, but Jen in now off the turnbuckle taking down The Duke with a hurricanerana! DUI back up and takes control of Chastity sending her to the ropes and laying her out with a double arm DDT! I never though I'd see the day when DUI would take control of Chastity McGavin!
Mary-Joe: That is because the man cheated!
Wilden: To help a woman!
Mary-Joe: Don't sugar coat things Lance!
Wilden: DUI grabs Chastity by the hair but Chastity immediately grabs DUI AND HITS A NECKBREAKER ACROSS THE KNEE! Wow! That momentum shifted very quickly!
Maddie: That is because she is a woman which makes her ten times more powerful than men just due to her expanded f... freaking intellect!
Mary-Joe: I'm sorry the adults are speaking! But yes, I want you to look at how quickly Jen and Chastity's mind works. They are able to get out of practically any move!
Hart: Just amazing! They take my breath away just like you ...
Mary-Joe: Don't you dare finish that sentence Hart!
Wilden: And Chastity with a tag to Jen Diamond, once again showing off their knack for team work! Chastity holds up DUI on her shoulders and Jen Diamond SPRING BOARDS OFF THE ROPES! DUI sent back down with a spring board Doomsday Device from the ladies of Estrogen Uprising! WOW! Just amazing teamwork!
Mary-Joe: What do you expect? Women are known world wide for having a sisterhood an understanding between them. It is almost like being psychic!
Wilden: Clearly Shabazz and JJ would have the same teamwork. They have been tagging for awhile now!
Mary-Joe: I've seen them in action, they are just as good as any other man, but they can't read eachother!
Wilden: Diamond with the pin!
ONE
TWO
Wilden: Broken by Starkiller! Chastity in and hits Starkiller with a standing STO! Diamond begins to argue with the Hector Garcia giving DUI enough to squirm and get the tag to The Duke! And the Duke in with a right to Diamond and a right to Chastity, but gets taken down by a western lariat by Jen Diamond! And Hector makes Chastity get back in her corner! Well, finally, one of your girls made a mistake!
Mary-Joe: That wasn't even a mistake! She was just mad that Garcia made a bum call!
Maddie: That was such a man thing to do!
Hart: I KNOW!
Wilden: Diamond with a pildedriver to The Duke! Diamond sinks in the triangle choke! Zidane in to break but once more Chastity has her back and lands a flying over head kick on Starkiller! But DUI now breaks the triangle hold and Garcia has lost all control! But Chastity picks up DUI and holds her over her shoulders for a few minutes and hits a... a...
Mary-Joe: V-20!
Wilden: Whatever that is! The Duke stumbles around just in time for Jen to synch her finisher, the Sweet Dreams this time! But it looks like Zidane is going to interrupt again... but no! He is intercepted by McGavin who puts in the Equalizer! Now both men in this are in submission holds!
Mary-Joe: Again, JJ and Shabazz better be watching because this is going to be them on Sunday!
Maddie: Freak Yeah!
Hart: YEAH!
Mary-Joe: *Sigh*
Wilden: And The Duke taps, quickly followed by the tapping of Zidane and Garcia calls for the bell, this one is over!
Ding Ding Ding
[Into the Darkness plays as the ladies get up and slap eachother on the back! Maddie takes off her headset as Mary-Joe stands up and begins to take off her headset, but then looks at Robbie!]
Mary-Joe: Um...
Hart: Yes!
Mary-Joe: Nothing! Never mind!
[Mary-Joe puts her headset down as she goes to join her team in the middle of the ring!]
Wilden: What the hell was that all about?
Hart: I don't know! But I liked it!
Dixon: Here are your winners: Chastity McGavin and Jen Diamond, the ESTROGEN UPRISING!
[Maddie and Mary-Joe enter the ring as the four ladies holdup eachothers arms in victory.]
Wilden: Given this team work, we can see this image recreated at Slam in the Sand when they face off against JJ Carter and Brother Shabazz!
Hart: No, you mean this is exactly what we will be seeing! I recreate this scene in my head every night before bed! It is what I dream of!
Wilden: Yes, but in this scenario they are wearing clothes!
Hart: Sadly yes!
Wilden: We’ll be right back with more cWo action!
Wilden: Fans, we’re back. Earlier we saw Estrogen Uprising win their handicapped match, and next up we will be seeing the man who wants nothing more than to give those ladies their just desserts, JJ Carter!
Hart: Did you say ladies? The term is WOMYN! With a Y!
Wilden: Well folks, Slam in the Sand is only a few days away and is shaping up to be…
[Lance is interrupted as “Living in the Sunlight, Loving in the Moonlight” by Tiny Tim begins to play and the crowd boos loudly as Heretic steps out from behind the entrance curtain. He smiles as he shuffles town to the ring]
Wilden: Oh no. I was hoping we wouldn’t see him today.
Hart: It’s the next world champion!
Wilden: After what we saw from Andrew Phillips last weekend, that may be easier said than done!
Hart: Heretic knows exactly what he’s doing!
Wilden: I wouldn’t be too sure of that.
[Heretic rolls under the ropes and takes the mic. The crowd continues to boo loudly.]
Heretic: Last week, we witnessed a transformation. We saw a caterpillar turn into a BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY! We saw our great World Champion, Andrew Mendel-Phillips, FINALLY come out of his shell! The fury, the rage he tried to hold back finally got the better of him, and he did what he’s been wanting to do for weeks, pummeled within an inch of my life! It was GREAT!
Wilden: It was great?! What?
Hart: He loved every minute of it, Lance! He was smiling the entire time!
Heretic: Andy finally arrived. He finally dropped the pretense, dropped the act, dropped the “Family man” charade! You see, what I did wasn’t slander Andy’s sister… believe me, she’s done enough to HERSELF! What I DID, was I embarrassed ANDY! I showed you lovely people his DIRTY LITTLE SECRET, his BLACK MARK! I showed that he wasn’t PERFECT… and he couldn’t stand that! Andrew Phillips finally showed what’s most important to him in life.. ANDREW PHILLIPS!
[The crowd boos loudly as Heretic smiles and laughs.]
Hart: Exactly!
Wilden: The man humiliated his sister, who’s working hard to battle her demons!
Hart: Then why doesn’t Andrew go visit her? He wants nothing to do with her because she makes him look bad!
Heretic: But it’s OKAY! It’s OK to be SELF CENTERED! It’s OK to be EGOTISTICAL! Just don’t HIDE it! Don’t say you care about your family, or the fans, ANDY, because I SEE THROUGH YOU! Every week you tried to ignore me, you tried to take the high road, tried to be THE BETTER MAN, but LAST WEEK, last week I PROVED you weren’t the better man… it was all an act, just like everything else in your life! But I’m PROUD of you, Andrew, with just a quick little therapy session, we got you over your little problem!
Hart: Therapy session?
Wilden: He’s a giving, helpful man. Chazz is getting help. Phillips is getting help. He’s a humanitarian!
Hart: You’re kidding, right?
Wilden: Not when he’s within earshot!
Heretic: But Andy… I’ve been looking all over for you today! You and your beautiful wife and lovely kids are nowhere to be found. I gave your dear sister a call, and she has NO IDEA where you are. What’s going on, Andy? DAMAGE CONTROL? Trying to prove to your family that…
[Heretic is interrupted as “Crawling” by Linkin Park plays and Tony “Totally” Awesome steps onto the entrance ramp. The crowd gives him a mixed reaction as he stares down Heretic and takes the microphone.]
Wilden: Wait a second, it’s Tony Awesome!
Hart: He’s here to anoint Heretic!
Tony “Totally” Awesome: There’s some stuff I’ve been needing to say to you for a long time, Heretic. You’re LUCKY to still be here. You’ve got this organization time and money. Muru? What you did to him was CRIMINAL! Chasing a man’s wife and kids? Tracking down a woman in rehab? And let’s not forget what you did at Cyberslam!!
Wilden; Better put that anointing oil away, Robbie!
Heretic: [laughs] In the words of our beloved World Champion, is the whiney bitch portion of the show over yet?
Tony “Totally” Awesome: I’m not done! Are there wrestlers in cWo I dislike? Sure. They may be bad draws, they may act like divas, they may sell too little merchandise. But YOU, Heretic… it’s personal between you and me! You think I’m happy that you’re getting this shot? Hell No! Andrew Phillips wants to defend his title against you, and I’ve got to respect that decision. But let me make one thing clear, you are NOT main eventing this pay per view! After all you’ve done, I’m not letting you effect my buyrates!
[The crowd begins to cheer for Tony “Totally” Awesome]
Wilden: Well that’s something you don’t hear every day!
Heretic: I DON’T CARE TONY! FIRE ME IF YOU WANT!
Tony “Totally” Awesome: Oh no, that’s too easy. I want to see you destroyed, I want to see someone do to you what you did to Muru and my brother. You were wondering where Andrew Phillips was tonight? I asked him not to come. In fact, I’m paying him a good sum of money NOT to be at this event. Why? Protection!
Heretic: Ha! You think you can protect him?
Tony “Totally” Awesome; Protection for YOU! You’ve got cWo’s World Champion, one of the best in the history of this business, wanting to rip your head off! If he was here tonight, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. In fact, you wouldn’t have made it this far into the show! But I’m a businessman, and if someone’s gonna tear you apart, it’s gonna happen on Pay Per View! Nothing will delight me more than seeing you humiliated, Heretic… and at Slam in the Sand, I’m gonna get my wish! You will NEVER be the World Champion, not as long as there’s blood flowing through my veins!
Heretic: [Laughs] Tony, Tony, Tony. HAH! That was a band, remember? Tony, I never wanted to be the World Champion. That wasn’t my intention, Andrew Phillips made that decision. But now, Tony, now that I know how much pain it’ll cause you, now that I know how much cWo would suffer with me as it’s champion…. Now, I want NOTHING MORE than to be cWo World Champion!
Tony “Totally” Awesome: OVER MY DEAD BODY!
Heretic: That can be arranged! It’s been boring around here, Tony. Everyone’s too damn HAPPY. Well, I’m going to change that. After Slam in the Sand, things are FINALLY gonna start to be interesting around here!
[“Living in the Sunlight, Loving in the Moonlight” plays and the crowd boos as Heretic laughs and points at Tony “Totally” Awesome, who yells back at him.]
Wilden: Folks, it just keeps getting more intense around Heretic, now our owner is getting involved!
Hart: I hope Tony knows what he’s doing!
A man of his word
[Backstage we see John Pilchard as he shakes his head in disapproval, as Nick Dangerous and Mr. Rich's students all angrily talk amongst each other when Tiffany Tolberg approaches the scene, on sight John Pilchard shouts.]
Pilchard: Hey hey hey hey! Shut up, everyone! First of all, Rich's favorites, he's gonna need you for his match tonight, so get out of here!
[A select group of Rich's students leave the room as John continues.]
Pilchard: And Tiffany good god if I ever see you again approaching me with a microphone I will make a formal complaint to Tony Awesome. Which I would be doing right now if he was in his office. Give me that microphone. A journalist interviewing a journalist, you're an embarrassment.
[Pilchard forcefully takes the mic from Tiffany as she makes her way out of camera view.]
Pilchard: I couldn't have a face to face with you Tony, so I'm gonna make my complaint now. Chris Michaels isn't a contracted superstar, he's not a contracted anything! He should NOT have been out there, he shouldn't even be in this arena, so you know the rules, you promised me a favor and it's starting to become apparent you aren't a man of your word so I'm just gonna say this. Michaels shows up during the Street Fight this Sunday, and I will make out of you what I made out of Fiasco. And I AM a man of my word!
Wilden: Well, tensions are rising as we approach Slam in the Sand!
Hart: What’s gotten into Tony Awesome recently? He’s forgetting who his friends are!
Wilden: Maybe he’s just realizing what it takes to run a wrestling promotion like this!
Hart: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!
Wilden: It’s time for our next matchup! Mr. Rich has been on a surprising tear as of late, really achieving more success in cWo that he’s had since arriving!
Hart: And credit that to finally dropping that bum Johnny Serious and getting with a true winner, John Pilchard! Teaching the students at Nick Dangerous’ school have rejuvenated him! It’s like he’s sapping their youth!
Wilden: He faces a tough opponent tonight in a man who was moments away from being the US Champion, and will be facing Estrogen Uprising at Slam in the Sand, JJ Carter!
Hart: He was ALMOST the US Champion, huh? Well, Mr. Rich is a LEGEND!
Wilden: In his own mind.
Hart: And mine!
Mr. Rich vs. JJ Carter
Donna Dixon: The following match is set for one fall. Making his way to the ring from Manhattan, at 254 lbs, Mr. RIIIIICCCCCCCHHHHHHHH
[Pink Floyd's "Money" hits the arena as Mr Rich makes his way out towards the ring. He stops in the aisle, waving his money around as a dollar sign lights up. He continues to the ring, flashing his money in the fans face and then taking it away. He slowly enters the ring and stands in the center as canons from all four ring posts shoot out fake money with Mr Rich's face on it. ]
Wilden: Mr. Rich has been weaseling his way to victory after victory of late, so J.J. Carter has to be careful.
Hart: A victory is a victory in my book.
Donna Dixon: And his opponent, from Bridgeport, CT, at 195 lbs, J.J. CAAARRRTTTTEEEERRRRR!!!!!!!
[Grasshopper" by Sander van Doorn plays over the arena, and spotlights go around the crowd before appearing on J.J. Carter, as he walks through the crowd and towards the ring. ]
Wilden: These two men faced each other several months ago with J.J. Carter coming out on top...
Hart: And now Mr. Rich gets his chance for vengence!
DING DING DING
Wilden: And Mr. Rich begins to circle J.J. Carter, and Mr. Rich has not been without controversy lately.
Hart: What are you talking about?
Wilden: His dealings with Nick Dangerous! His constant attacks on Johnny Serious!
Hart: What about JJ. Carter?
[Mr. Rich slicks back his hair, faces JJ Carter, and the two go in for a grapple, Mr Rich quick throws Carter into a head lock but Carter escapes and delivers a kick to Mr Rich in the gut. Mr Rich breaks free and backs off.]
Wilden: Exactly how their first match started.
[JJ Carter moves in quickly and begins to throw punchs at Mr. Rich, backing Mr. Rich into a corner. He then follows with several quick elbows to the face.]
Wilden: And Mr. Rich in a bit of early trouble.
Hart: Playing Possum Lance!
[Mr. Rich ducks a final elbow and then pokes JJ in the eyes as the ref begins to yell at Mr. Rich]
Wilden: And illegal move, and quite old school]
Hart: Come on, JJ Carter is no stranger to cheating.
Wilden: Mr. Rich now throws JJ into the corner and WHOA...what a loud chop to the chest.
[Mr. Rich follows with several more chops to the chest, and then grabs JJ into a head lock and delivers a running bulldog. Mr. Rich then goes for a quick Bad Investment....]
Wilden: And JJ kicks Mr. Rich head first into the turnbuckle, narrowly avoiding the Bad Investment.
Hart: J.J. can consider himself lucky, because once in the Bad Investment, and this match is over!
[JJ quick to his feet, Carter grabs Rich, tosses him against the ropes and as Mr Rich comes running back, he kicks Rich in the gut and gives him a DDT, knocking Mr Rich to the mat. Carter then goes for the pin.]
ONE
TWO
THR....
Wilden: And Mr. Rich kicks out!
Hart: All part of the game plan Lance!
Wilen: What, getting his the crap beat out of him!
[Carter picks stands over Mr. Rich and begins to give a few stomps to the chest of Mr. Rich]
Wilden: And Mr. Rich in trouble. Carter may be smaller, but he is quick, and has a lot of muscle behind his stomps.
[Carter picks Mr. Rich up and tosses him into a turnbuckle checst first, and falls back.]
Wilden: Carter once again, having the advantage
Hart: Whatever! Carter is an idiot, always has been.
Wilden: Robbie, I'm being told there is something going on backstage.
Hart: In the middle of match.
Wilden: Time doesn't stop for matches.
[The picture of the cWo tron goes from the Mr. Rich and JJ Carter match to the parking area as Brother Shabazz is laying on the concrete floor. The camera pans out to show Jen Diamond kicking him in the gut as Mary-Joe cheers her on. Chastity Mcgavin has a chair in her hand as Maddie cackles behind her.]
Wilden: What was that?
Hart: Revenge for Brother Shabazz pooping in Jen Diamond's bag!
Wilden: And JJ Carter sees it!
[With Mr. Rich on his knees for a few seconds, JJ looks at the beating backstage and slides underneath the ropes and runs up the ramp as Hector Garcia begins his count.]
Hart: What and idiot!
ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
Wilden: With JJ now out of sight, it looks as Mr. Rich is going to get another victory, and with very little work!
FIVE
SIX
SEVEN
Hart: It just shows you how great of a wrestler....hell, how much of a Legend, Mr. Rich is.
EIGHT
NINE
TEN
DING DING DING
Donna Dixon: Your winner, by count out, Mr. RICCCCCCHHHHHHHH
[Pink Floyd's "Money" hits the arena as Mr Rich begins to celebrate, forcing Hector Garcia to raise his hand in victory. Mr. Rich then slicks his hair back and exits the ring.]
Wilden: And Mr. Rich, once again with a cheap victory, is working his way up the rankings, like it or not. And for JJ Carter, this loss means nothing to him. He has more important things to tend to.
[The cameras focus back on backstage as it seems that Mary-Joe is making fun of beaten JJ. Jen and Maddie hold him still as Mary-Joe licks her palm and smacks him across the face. She prepares to do it again, but Jen and Maddie drop him as they see a charging JJ!]
Wilden: While, it might be too little too late, JJ is here to defend his tag team partner.
Hart: No, he is just here to get beat up.
[Chastity swings the chair but JJ ducks and kicks her in the gut and clotheslines her down making her drop the chair. But as he turns around, both Maddie and Diamond begin to hammer in punches onto JJ. He tries to battle back with a headbutt to Diamond and then a spinning heel kick to Maddie.]
Wilden: He might be out numbered but this man isn't backing down and it looks like he seems to be in control.
Hart: Yeah, because he is a woman beater and a rapist!
[With all three women backed up, JJ takes a fighting pose ready for either one of them. Suddenly, Maddie jumps onto his back and sinks her nails into his chest! He struggles and finally gets her off his back.]
Hart: That was so hot!
Wilden: Yes, annoying women who scratch are hot!
[He turns around just in time to get hit over the head by Jen Diamond with the steel chair!]
Wilden: No! And JJ is now taken out by Diamond with that steel chair. JJ and Shabazz just got unfairly destroyed by the Estrogen Uprising!
Hart: They deserved it! Stupid men!
[Jen Diamond drops the chair over JJ's chest as Maddie and Chastity help Mary-Joe to her feet. An angry grin appears on Mary-Joe's as she holds up her high heel (that fell off during the brawl) and tosses it at JJ's head. The four ladies then leave smiling (except for Chastity).]
Wilden: This was clearly a powerplay to weaken Carter and Shabazz before Slam in the Sand.
Hart: And I'd say it was a damn smart one, too! There is no way to stop these ladies. It is so hot!
Wilden: It’s sickening is what it is! Folks, it’s time for our last commercial break of the evening! When we come back, it’s our MAIN EVENT!
Wilden: It’s time for our Main Event, and we’ve got a good one for you! Earlier today, we saw the World Gentleman’s League set up a War Games Match..
Hart: World War 2!
Wilden: … against the team of Sean Pason, Raymond Jacobson, Barett Hawk and Mike Logan. Well, next up is a preview of sorts, as two members of the WGL, Chandler Edsel Dalmon and Devon Dice..
Hart: The gentlemen who dwell on the outside!
Wilden: Will you stop!?
Hart: No!
Wilen: … As Dalmon and Dice square off against Barrett Hawk and Raymond Jacobson! This should be a good one, so let’s not waste any more time! Take it, Donna Dixon!
Chandler Edsel Dalmon & Devon Dice vs. Barrett Hawk & Raymond Jacobson
["Welcome To The Jungle" by Richard Cheese plays and Chandler Dalmon makes his way onto the stage with Devon Dice.]
Dixon: Introducing first, weighing in at a total combined weight of four hundred and forty-five pounds, representing the World Gentleman's League, Chandler Edsel Dalmon and Devon Dice!
Wilden: Here comes the furthest thing from gentleman, the WGL.
Hart: What? These guys are perfect gentleman, check out the facial hair, the attire, the way they speak, everything about them is gentlemanly.
Wilden: Say what you will, but these two have their hands full tonight with two class acts in Raymond Jacobson and Barrett Hawk.
Hart: Promoting drug use is classy? Maybe in Compton.
Wilden: He's addicting to the crowd, he doesn't promote... You know, you're just ignorant, let's go to Donna Dixon.
[Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Simple Man" hits the P.A. system. Once the song begins to pick up steam Barrett Hawk comes out from the entrance-way, sporting a cowboy hat, while he clutches the top corners of an American Flag to his wrists, keeping his hands to his shoulders, wrapping the flag around him as he walks down the aisle, taking a hand off his shoulder to wave at the fans as he makes it into the ring. Once in the ring he stands on the second rope, and raises both arms in the air, dropping the American flag with both hands showing a gesture of love.]
Dixon: And the first half of their opponents, weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounts, from Sulphur, Oklahoma, Barrett Hawk!
Wilden: That is a true gentleman, a good ol' America loving country boy, solely hear for the competition.
[Dalmon and Dice waste no time attacking Barrett Hawk. Dice and Dalmon stomping away. Donna Dixon scurries out of the ring.]
Hart: Not too bright, though, Lance.
Wilden: NOW THAT'S GENTLEMANLY!
Hart: Finally, you see it my way.
Wilden: Sarcasm, Robbie.
[Raymond Jacobson comes sprinting down the aisle and slides into the ring and starts throwing rights and lefts at Devon Dice. He bounces him off the ropes and whips him across. Big back body drop to the outside. Barrett Hawk gets to his feet and tosses Dalmon out of the ring next to Dice.]
Wilden: What a change of momentum here, the fans are going crazy as Raymond Jacobson and Barrett Hawk celebrate in the ring, while the WGL regroup.
Hart: Back in the good old days, both those men would be disqualified for tossing their opponents over the top rope, I can't believe Johnny Williams hasn't asked for the bell.
Wilden: He is asking for the bell Robbie, the bell to begin this match.
[DING DING DING]
[Johnny Williams tells Jacobson to get on the apron, and Devon Dice climbs the stairs in his corner and gets in the ring with Dalmon on the Apron.]
Wilden: Chandler Dalmon telling Dice something, here we go were underway.
[Hawk and Dice approach each other to lock up.]
Wilden: Dice fakes and kicks Hawk in the stomache.
Hart: Way to use your noodle.
[Dice grabs Hawk by the heads delivers a big right hand, and another, backing Hawk into the corner, big knife edge chops to the chest.]
Wilden: You can hear those in the upper deck. Dice now backing off and delivers a short charging back elbow to the face.
Hart: Beautiful work here by Dice in the early stages, Thaddeus Walker has truly brought the good out of Devon Dice.
[The force of the elbow has Hawk walking on the side of the ring holding onto the top rope. Chandler swings around the post and lands a big clothesline.]
Wilden: How is that not a DQ? He did it right in front of Johnny Williams!
Hart: Great teamwork. Gonna be a quick victory.
ONE
TWO
Wilden: Hawk gets a foot on the ropes, while Dice argues.
Hart: He has a legit beef.
Wilden: His foot is clearly on the ropes, its right in front of us for crying out loud.
Hart: I don't see it.
[Dice lifts Hawk to his feet and whips him across the ring, reversed by Hawk and Dice is hit with a snap powerslam.]
Wilden: What a reversal by Barrett Hawk! Hawk now taking it to Dice with elbows.
Hart: Come on, Chandler, do something!
[Hawk bounces off the ropes and lands a snap leg drop.]
Wilden: The cover
ONE
TWO
Wilden: And Dalmon runs in to break up the pin, and now Jacobson's in the ring.
Hart: Get him out of there, good job Johnny!
[Johnny Williams yelling at Raymond Jacobson pushing him back to his corner as Chandler Dalmon is stomping away at Barrett Hawk, allowing Dice to get to his feet.]
Wilden: Of course the referee never sees what's going on. Dice and Dalmon are double teaming Hawk.
Hart: D & D know how to work together, a trait that only true gentleman possess.
[Dice and Dalmon whips Barrett Hawk across the ring and land a double clothesline. Dalmon gets out of the ring as Johnny Williams turns back to the action. Dice gives a firm handshake to Dalmon, making him the legal man.]
Wilden: Devon Dice makes the tag after a brutal double team effort awards them the upper hand.
Hart: Why must you do that, Lance?
Wilden: Do what?
Hart: Make the WGL the bad guys all the time. They are just seizing opportunities.
Wilden: They are cowards and cheaters, not opportunists!
Hart: Bah
[Chandler Dalmon walks over to the kneeling Barrett Hawk and slaps him in the face. He laughs and delivers a second slap, and a third. Laughing harder with each slap.]
Wilden: Barrett Hawk's face is turning bright red out of anger.
Hart: As long as he don't turn green, I'm cool with it.
[Barrett Hawk gets to his feet and has an intense look on his face as he gets nose to nose with Chandler Dalmon. Dalmon begins to back away. Hawk grabs Dalmon by the hand and smashes his face into the turnbuckle repeatedly.]
Wilden: The crowd counting with each blow.
ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
FIVE
SIX
SEVEN
EIGHT
NINE
TEN
[Dalmon begins stumbling and Barrett Hawk tags in Raymond Jacobson, who climbs the top rope.]
Wilden: Dalmon's in a different area code, he doesn't see Jacobson, FLYING BULLDOG!
Hart: Chandler Edsel Dalmon is on queer street, Lance! I don't know what to do!
Wilden: [Gasps] WHAT!
Hart: [Lil Jon style] YEAAHHH!!!!
[Jacobson goes for a pin.]
ONE
TWO
Wilden: And that's it! NO! Somehow he got a shoulder up.
Hart: He has no quit in him, Lance!
[Jacobson wastes no time and sets up a surfboard submission.]
Wilden: The Drug of Choice is really wrenching hard, hoping to force a tap out.
Hart: He has no quit in him, Lance!
Wilden: Look at the face of Chandler Dalmon, he is in intense pain, the referee checking in closely now.
Hart: He has no quit in him, Lance!
Wilden: You've said that ten times!
Hart: Just trying to remember the days of the Lance Wilden Machine!
Wilden: [Sarcastically] Yeah...fun times.
Hart: [Giggling] Yeah....awesome times.
[Chandler Dalmon on the verge of submitting, Devon Dice hops in the ring and breaks the hold and is immediately reprimanded by Johnny Williams and sent to the corner, Dice has both hands in the air. Dalmon rolls out of the ring. Jacobson charges Dice and knocks him to the outside in front of the announce table and follows after.]
Wilden: Both men to the outside, and Johnny Williams starting to count both men.
ONE
TWO
[TJ Walker runs down the aisle]
Wilden: TJ Walker, What in the hell is he doing out here!? This is supposed to be a fair fight.
Hart: Safety in numbers!
THREE
FOUR
FIVE
[TJ Walker rolls Chandler Dalmon back into the ring where he is pounced on by Barrett Hawk. Hawk locks in a sleeper hold!]
Hart: He's not the legal man!
Wilden: WHO CARES! YOU GOTTA FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE!
Hart: THAT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE!
Wilden: I DON'T CARE!
[TJ Walker hops into the ring and shoves Johnny Williams to the ground and takes off as Johnny Williams leaves the ringside area and chases TJ Walker.]
Wilden: Johnny Williams left the ring!
Hart: And that's our senior referee? He's so unprofessional!
[Dice and Jacobson are trading blows outside the ring, until Jacobson slams Dice head first into the announce table. Xyce Pac runs down the aisle into the ring and kicks Barrett off of Chandler and starts pounding away with forearms to the back.]
Hart: JOHNNY LUGS!
Wilden: Just wonderful!
[Chandler shaking off the sleepy feeling and struggles to his feet and helps Xyce Pac pound on Hawk. Jacobson tries to help his partner but is drop kicked by Dalmon. Dice to his feet and in the ring.]
Wilden: 3 on 2 assault, where in the world is
Hart: [cuts Lance off] Carmen San Diego!
Wilden: ...Johnny Williams, What the hell happened here, it's mayhem!
[Mike Logan storms out onto the stage and into the ring.]
Wilden: The Sexual Intellectual here to even things out!
Hart: Such a lowlife womanizer, he should be arrested.
[Logan pounces on Xyce Pac and lands a big DDT! Thaddeus Walker runs down the aisle and gets involved attacking Mike Logan, WGL on the offensive beating down all three men.]
Wilden: This is brutal, the WGL is going to seriously injure one of these guys
Hart: STRENGTH IN NUMBERS! They can't be stopped, there is no one in the locker room dumb enough to come help these three.
[Suddenly, the lights begin to dim as the intro to “Till I Collapse” begins playing in the background. Then suddenly lights begin to flicker off and on as Sean Pason slowly walks out on the entrance ramp. The crowd goes crazy as Pason charges the ring and begins to single handedly clear house.]
Wilden: Sean Pason on fire here!
Hart: GET HIM OUT OF HERE!
[Hawk, Jacobson, Pason, and Logan stand in the ring and stare down the WGL on the outside who have surrounded the ring. One man on each side.]
Pason: NOW!
[All four men dive outside the ring onto a WGL member, Logan on Xyce Pac, Hawk on Chandler, Jacobson on Dice, and Pason on Thaddeus!]
Wilden: Now that's true team work, Robbie. Look at them go.
Hart: This is absurd!!!
[Johnny Williams makes his way back to the ring and is in shock at what happened while he left his post.]
Hart: I expect a stiff punishment!
Wilden: I might have to actually agree with you.
[Jacobson rolls Dice into the ring and sets up a RJA!]
Wilden: RAYMOND JACOBSON ASSASSINATION! IT'S OVER!
ONE
TWO
THREE
Dixon: Here are your winners, Raymond Jacobson and Barret Hawk!
Wilden: What a huge wi for Hawk and Jacobson!
Hart: They CHEATED! All those guys were in the ring!
Wilden: All those guys meaning the WGL, and they were beaten at their own game!
Hart: This outrage will not stand!
Wilden: Folks, we’re out of time! We’ll see you this Sunday on Pay Per View for Slam in the Sand!
[The copyright information comes on the screen as Pason, Jacobson, Hawk and Logan stand in the ring, celebrating while the members of the WGL retreat backstage and the show goes off the air.]