DANGER ZONE

Is Anybody Listening? - Queensryche

Is there anybody listening?
Is there anyone that sees what's going on?
Read between the lines,
criticize the words they're selling.
Think for yourself and feel the walls.
become sand beneath your feet.

Let me open up this piece with a cliche. The past couple of months have been an emotional rollercoaster. I've hit my stride professionally, there's no doubt, and that brings me great pride, but at the risk of sounding like the oldschool dinosaur Chris Michaels back in the day there used to be a saying, and when I was in Lance Wilden's position in the independants I used to say it loud and proud. Be good to the business, and the business will be good to you, a little something a colleague told me. Well recently the truth hit me like a bolt of lightning. Whether the business treats you well or poor has no bearing on who you are or what you do. There's no art form to it, no science, it's just what you get or what you don't when you step into this cesspool that we know as the "wrasslin' business.

Last month I brought the cWo for all intents and purposes, a revolution. I went into the garden and I found a bad weed, I found the cancerous, poisonous plant in the cWo, I followed it down to its root, and I disected the seed, and exterminated its offspring. Everyone talks about Heretic being the biggest hazard to the cWo, and I won't sell him short because I get a little nervous even making reference to him but Andrew Fiasco is was and will forever be known as the most dangerous(no offense) man to have ever stepped foot behind cWo doors.

Any independant thinker that I've spoken to could have told you what a cancer he was to this company, but I don't need to tell anyone that at this point, the board of directors even saw the corruption he brought to the table. My point is this, when I rid this company of Andrew Fiasco, I potentially saved cWo financially and in turn, influencially, I secured cWo a legacy that generations into the future, the only competition to us in terms of longetivity would be the wheel. So if we follow the old adage that being good to the business brings good to you, then I would be sipping pina coladas in the beaches of Miami instead of waiting here on a delayed flight on a laptop, writing this column in response to Tony Awesome badgering me to write another column. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'd take a break if it was offered, but I have yet to receive a pat on the back for my journalistic efforts, while people like Tiffany Tolberg and Jason Duran get it easy, asking Phantasy questions about her sex life and leeching off of Pilchard exclusives, when did Tony Awesome release the hounds on them?

I'll sum things up by saying I'm not satisfied with life in cWo, actually, no, I don't get paid to keep things short and sweet. I'm a little more prideful in my work than Tiffany Tolberg cramming three nobodies in a room to watch TV with and let the work do itself. I'm shooting from the heart now, the reason I'm not satisfied is because I did what I did for the better of all of us under contract to cWo, I didn't do it to save us enough pocket change so we can hire Chris Michaels to a contracted yearly salary that has more zeroes than there are women in cWo.

I rid the world of Fiasco so we can move on to a new generation, not so we can go shopping at the old folks home and see how many old timers think they can still hack it with today's generation. I did cWo a huge courtesy and Tony Awesome spat in my face by even thinking of hiring the ghost of cWo past Chris Michaels, and hiring him as a "journalist" doesn't soften the blow. Yeah Michaels, I read your column, and as a professional in this field let me give you a piece of constructive criticism. Stop doing columns, think about how good your delusional mind makes you think you are in the ring, that's legitimately how good a journalist I am. You're like the kid in class who does a book report on "Of Mice and Men" by watching the movie, I can only imagine the all knowing force it took to spell check that drivel, and the heroics it took for anyone to bother teaching you how to turn on a computer and actually use it. These are MY predictions, and if you're one of the brilliant minds who clicks on my columns before anyone elses, for today, you might wanna make my column the only column you read, because I can tell you Chris Michaels "HotSpot Online" he makes predictions of his own, and they're full of bias and predictions based on vendettas against people he knows he couldn't hang with if he were to once again lace up the boots.

World War II Match: WGL (Chandler Edsel Dalmon, Xyce Pac, Thaddeus Walker, and Devon Dice) vs. Raymond Jacobson, Barret Hawk, Mike Logan, and Sean Pason

I'll say it, I like Barrett Hawk, Raymond Jacobson and Sean Pason, people might not think it but I do. However neither of them have the set of balls Mike Logan has, Mike Logan lives by his own set of rules, he's the true lone wolf in this match, he's not only on the bad side of the WGL, but he's also on the bad side of his team mates, and that's gonna cause his team to falter. WGL is a brotherhood of trust, a pack of wolves, all for one, one for all, while their opponents consist of people who are only fighting side by side because of circumstance, not out of desire. Chemistry and brotherhood will take the WGL to the top.

Prediction: World Gentlemen's League

Singles Match: Phantasy vs. Evette

A lot of women in wrestling have the same history, they're boyfriend or an ex-boyfriend was a professional wrestler, and they take it upon themselves to ride the coattails of their boyfriends and make a name for themselves vicariously through him in this business. This is Phantasy's story. Evette however was placed into this business because Mr. Rich looked the love of his life in the eyes and saw potential to create a wrestling revolution for her gender, and she did exactly that until Mary-Joe and Chastity McGavin redefined the position of women in wrestling. Needless to say experience and know-how will win over against the jealous girlfriend. Evette's gonna take it easily.

Prediction: Evette

Singles Match: Jezebel vs. Meghan Conklin

Meghan Conklin is like the Chris Michaels of cWo. She thinks the key to getting respect is treating others with respect but let me tell you something about respect in wrestling. Respect mean absolutely nothing if the only reason people chant your name is because you suckhole and play nice with everyone. I've strived to make the world see guys like Nick Dangerous for their talent and stop worrying about personality since I took the job as his manager, when it would be so much easier if I told everyone how much I love their home town and that the people don't smell like pigs in a truffle, but there are two things wrong with that, the respect Nick Dangerous would receive in return would be artificial, and I'd be lying. John Pilchard doesn't lie. In this match Mickey Mouse is going up against Pazuzu.

Prediction: Jezebel

Tag Team Match: Jen Diamond and Chastity McGavin vs. JJ Carter and Brother Shabazz

Let's see...two people who are making the business grow, against two lazy individuals whose vocabulary consists only of the word "me." JJ and Shabazz are gonna walk into this match hoping Chastity or Jen Diamond slip on a banana and break their neck, but after all this time they've spent getting their asses kicked by their opponents as it is I don't think they're thinking straight, because Jen Diamond and Chastity McGavin are not the types who make mistakes. My choice is obvious.

Prediction: Jen Diamond and Chastity McGavin

Cage Match for the F.C.U.K. Championship: Jacob Baxter(c) vs. Josh Cantrell

This is just silly. Josh Cantrell wants a cage match to keep the monsters under his bed from attacking him. Well that's all well and good, but the problem is those monsters are all in his head. Nick Dangerous did what he set out to do to Cantrell long ago, if the guy's so stuck up on himself that he thinks that Nick's gonna go out of his way considering the match he has ahead of him to cost Cantrell a match against Jacob Baxter he has no idea who Nick Dangerous is. Besides, it would take some serious magic to construct a cage which aura can keep distracting thoughts out of your head. That cage isn't gonna get Nick Dangerous off your mind, but that cage is gonna put more ideas of ways to hurt you in Baxter's.

Prediction: Jacob Baxter

Singles Match for the World Championship: Andrew Phillips(c) vs. Heretic

I said before that just talking about Heretic makes me a little weak in the knees so I'll try to keep this brief. Here we have one man with a false sense of entitlement who just wants to go back to his world of puppeteering the live audience and being treated like a golden god, a narcissist. The other we have a raging psychopath who's a danger to himself and others. I hope they kill each other and make room for a more sane World Title scene.

Prediction: No decision

Street Fight: Nick Dangerous vs. Johnny Serious

This match is gonna sell the place out. People like Michaels will talk like it's selling out stages because people wanna see Nick Dangerous get his ass kicked, people might wanna see Nick get his ass kicked but a realistic thinker will know the chances of that happening, you might as well expect to see the resurrection of Christ himself. No the reason people purchased their ticket is because everyone remembers where they were when JFK was shot, when the Berlin Wall came down, when Saddam Hussein's statue was brought down and he was captured, people wanna say they were in the arena when Nick Dangerous came back to cWo and unleashed hell on Johnny Serious. People wanna say they were in the arena witnessing Johnny Serious' last match. I'm gonna be there taking care of Chris Michaels if he wants to take his chances and step into the battlefield when the bombs go off. Michaels can make all the idle threats in the world, but you can't avoid a hurricane by shaking your fist and telling it to get off your lawn old man. Serious has one more night of rest before he realizes he brought upon his own destruction. Johnny Serious thought he knew what Nick Dangerous was capable of before, only I saw what he's capable of today, I've seen mothers crying as their children are wheeled out of his gym because they made a similar mistake in thinking they can hang with Dangerous, and all you are Johnny, is another student of Nick Dangerous, but I would reccomend you don't make the same mistake the younger kids made and bring your family.

Prediction: Nick Dangerous