Live from the Target Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota!
[A white Ford pickup truck speeds into the arena garage and comes to a screeching halt. The camera wraps around to the drivers side as Johnny Serious steps out. In the Background, the echo of the crowd cheering can be heard. Serious slams the door and walks at a fast pace to the backstage area. The camera follows him. He stops to talk to a couple of crew people, all wearing headsets]
Serious: Anybody seen Nick Dangerous?
Crew Member 1: Not yet.
Crew Member 2: I think he may be in his dressing room!
[Serious continues walking backstage when a female production assistant walks by]
Serious: Nick Dangerous, have you seen him?
Female P.A.: Not today!
[Serious walks towards a door that reads NICK DANGEROUS. He backs up for one moment and then KICKS THE DOOR OPEN. He walks in to find an empty room]
Serious: SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!
[In and anger, Serious begins to tear the place a part. He turns the sofa over. Tosses a folding chair into the wall knocking down a mirror. He takes a set of lockers and pushes them over. He then exits the room to see another crew member standing by]
Serious: If you see Nick Dangerous, let him know I was here looking for him. And let him know that it's going to get REAL SERIOUS, SERIOUSLY FAST!!!!!!!!!!!
[Serious walks off as the crew member stands there highly confused as a blank screen appears]
[Suddenly, the cWo logo flashes briefly into focus, coming together from all sides of the screen. A highlight reel of clips from last week’s Dangerous Engagement begins to air: J.J. Carter and The Wraith going at it, with the Church of Eternal Damnation interfering and the finale of the match with The Wraith disappearing with Carter; flashes of each tag team that competed in the Tag Title Match, with Victor Emmit and Tito seen raising the titles over their heads; Christian Roman is seen fighting off Heretic, and then Notorious JON is seen having the cell lifted and raising Heretic’s arm in success; then Muru is seen being defeated by Notorious JON, then being forced to wear a tiny OMEGA shirt; and finally, flashes of Chazz Mendel, Johnny Serious, and Nick Dangerous are seen, with Johnny Serious winning the World Title, and then John Pilchard getting involved, alongside Jack Union’s interference, and finally, Nick Dangerous pinning Serious finally, and holding the World Title over his head. Finally, the screen goes blank as a familiar voice is heard]
Wilden: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Minneapolis, MINNESOTA!
[Sevendusts “Driven” tears throughout the arena, as the fans erupt into a chorus of cheers. As the camera pans the screaming crowd, loyal cWo fans raise their arms in the air, pointing to their cWo t-shirts and screaming incoherently. After a few moments, the camera focuses on the announcer’s booth, where Lance and Robbie are seen ready to call the action for the evening]
Wilden: One week removed from one of the most controversial and exciting Pay-Per-Views in cWo history – we find ourselves preparing for the road to cWo’s biggest and widely publicized Pay-Per-View of the year: Cyberslam! My name’s Lance Wilden, and alongside me is Robbie Hart – and folks, have we got a night in store for you!
Hart: It depends on the way you look at it – you know there’s going to be a celebration of some type for Nick Dangerous retaining his World Title!
Wilden: A controversial retention at that – not only was Johnny Serious announced as the World Champion – but the match had to be restarted – all in order for Nick Dangerous to win back his title!
Hart: He never lost it, Lance!
Wilden: Thousands of people and the official scoring will disagree with you there, Robbie – Johnny Serious WAS World Champion last week! But what can we make of Jack Union turning the tide of that match and in effect, raising the arms of Nick Dangerous?
Hart: It’s been a long time coming! We’ve all seen how Jack Union has been acting these past few weeks – he’s been shaking off David Rivers, his longtime friend!
Wilden: Which hasn’t been sitting well with the big man at all, but it seems that he’s taking things in stride and in all honesty, I don’t believe he’s in attendance here tonight!
Hart: I wouldn’t want to be either if I were him – I’d be worried about what Union could do to me!
Wilden: And as we saw just a few moments ago, Nick Dangerous AND Jack Union may have to answer for their actions tonight – and Johnny Serious looks none too pleased about what had transpired last week!
Hart: He needs to just accept it and take it like a man! This throwing around furniture is a good way to get a fine!
Wilden: Nevertheless, folks – tonight, in what is slated to be the main event at this time, a reunited OMEGA will step into the ring against the Nerds with Attitude, who fell short in their bid for the cWo Tag Team titles last week at Dangerous Engagement!
Hart: Which I still can’t believe went to Victor Emmit and Tito? How sad is our tag team division that they came out on top? I was pulling for Ronald Crewe and Octavius Winslow all along!
Wilden: Well – that team has hit rock bottom, because according to backstage sources, Octavius Winslow was completely distraught with the outcome of last week’s match – so much so that he has actually challenged Ronald Crewe to a match tonight!
Hart: That one could go either way, Lance – both of them have their strengths and weaknesses, but Ronald Crewe – I don’t know! There’s just something about him –
Wilden: That reminds you of Ryne Deth, perhaps?
Hart: Never! I’m glad we’re rid of that human being!
Wilden: But anyway folks, OMEGA and Nerds with Attitude in the main event of the evening – and both parties working for OMEGA this week came across with HUGE victories last week at Dangerous Engagement.
Hart: You’re telling me! Once again – Christian Roman is thwarted! When was the last time he won a match? This isn’t much of a crusade against the evils of OMEGA now is it – I think that’s all relative to when you actually win!
Wilden: You know damn well that he was screwed out of that victory! Notorious JON called on the power of Tony Awesome to have the cell raised, and effectively, turned the tide of the match in favor of Heretic when Christian Roman had it in the bag!
Hart: There’s no way of knowing that for sure, Lance!
Wilden: He had him pinned!
Hart: He might have kicked out is all I’m saying!
Wilden: And what about Muru? We’re hoping to have some reaction from him tonight regarding his loss to Notorious JON last week and his now employment under OMEGA – you know that he will be utilized in some creative fashion!
Hart: Which is why I love them, Lance – they never cease to amaze or impress me! The gears are always turning!
Wilden: Alright folks, we’re going to head down to the ring right now, where Donna Dixon is sta –
[Camera suddenly cuts to Andrew Fiasco is sitting in his office on a black leather sofa watching a monitor as Johnny Serious comes storming into the office wearing his F*CK DANGEROUS, BE SERIOUS Tee Shirt.]
Fiasco: [sarcastically] Come in!
Serious: Listen man, what happened last week at Dangerous Engagement was SERIOUSLY bogus. I would love nothing more than to get a rematch against Nick Dangerous, and I think we should do it tonight on DRIVEN!!!!!!!!!!
[The Crowd is heard cheering in the background]
Fiasco: Hmmmm....a World Title match as a main event for Driven. Believe me Johnny, I love the sound of that – especially since OMEGA is slated to take the top spot for this evening.
Serious: I knew of all people, you would agree with me!
Fiasco: So tonight, on Driven, our main event will be cWo World Champion Nick Dangerous defending his title against Johnny Seri......
[Suddenly Fiasco's office door comes swinging open again. Chazz Mendel, dressed in a black suit and tie, comes running into the room. He stops suddenly, looks at Fiasco, then Serious, then back to Fiasco.]
Chazz: What the hell is he doing here?
Fiasco: He's here to ask me a favor, as I'm sure you are.
Chazz: I'm not here to ask you any favors, I don't need favors from the likes of you! I'm here to let you know that there's going to be a rematch of sorts tonight. Me, The Villain Of The Year.. "THE ONE AND ONLY" Chazz Mendel, against Nick Dangerous.
Serious: ARE YOU SERIOUS? You come in here in that cheap disgusting K-Mart suit and run your mouth about some rematch you think you deserve! What makes you think you deserve a title shot?
[Chazz looks at Serious, and then shakes his head in disgust.]
Chazz: Of course I'm serious, stupid! Why wouldn't I be? You were champ for what, thirty seconds? Who the hell are you to question my motives? I've got more clout than you ever will. I didn't lose the world title last week. I didn't embarass myself in front of the entire world, like you did!
[Chazz turns back to Andrew Fiasco.]
Fiasco: Well Chazz, if it's a World Title match you're looking for, I'm sorry, Johnny Serious just beat you to the punch!
[Serious gives Chazz a large grin]
Serious: Serious: You're right Chazz, I may have had the title for only 30 seconds, but at least I could say I held the title! And unlike you, as a former champion, I have myself a rematch clause. And when it came to beating Nick Dangerous, unlike you, I can say I got the JOB DONE!!!
Chazz: Oh yeah? Well then you must have some kind of legal team. You didn't hold the title long enough to get a damn clause! This is criminal, Fiasco! Criminal! [Chazz looks at Serious.] Beating Nick Dangerous is irrelevant! You've done nothing but lied, and cheated your way to Dangerous Engagement, and I'll be DAMNED if you steal my Path of Kings title shot from me tonight!
[Serious gets in Chazz's face]
Serious: Oh come on...that King crap was funny for a few weeks but now you're starting to get to be a pain in my ass! You had your Path Of Kings shot when you lost last week at Dangerous Engagement. I don't recall the winner getting two shots! So you better just sit your ASS DOWN AND WAIT YOUR TURN!
[Chazz smirks.]
Chazz: You'd like that, wouldn't ya? But you know as well as I do, that that's not happening. I'm going to exercise my right as the winner of the Path of Kings tournament and take my shot tonight! You want to talk about waiting your turn, I earned my turn long before you "became a champion." Now get the hell out of my face.
[Serious and Chazz go Nose to Nose]
Fiasco: You both think you deserve a rematch tonight? Well tonight, on Driven, there will be a rematch. Tonight, we will see Nick Dangerous defend his World Title against Johnny Serious!
Wilden: Oh my!
Hart: This can’t be happening!
[Serious gives a cocky grin in the face of Chazz Mendel]
Fiasco: And Nick Dangerous will defend his Title against Chazz Mendel!!!!!!! Tonight will be a rematch of Last Week's Championship Match. Nick Dangerous against Johnny Serious against Chazz Mendel in a TRIPLE THREAT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH!
[The crowd goes wild in the background as Serious and Chazz continue to stare each other down as the scene fades back to Lance and Robbie]
Wilden: Things just got interesting tonight, ladies and gentlemen! Chazz Mendel invoking his Path of Kings clause and Johnny Serious invoking his rematch clause as a former World Champion!
Hart: This isn’t happening!
Wilden: And all of this occurring before Nick Dangerous even makes it to the arena! He’s going to have a rude awakening when he shows up – that’s for certain! We’re going to head to a commercial break – we’ll be right back folks!
[Backstage, we catch a familiar scene that hasn't been caught on film as much. Charley Bavadra sits in a producer's chair, reading over a booklet of stapled papers. Standing beside him, Dorian Crittle shaking his head in animation as it appears they are in a 'business' meeting. Crittle points to a certain area on the paper as 'Bava Boom' nods in silent agreement. Startled, or acting as such, Dorian beams toward the cWo Cameraman with venom.]
Crittle: This is a closed FCC meeting discussing highly sensitive material. Do you have an FCC backstage pass? Or an FCC bumper sticker on your vehicle?
[The camera shakes no. Crittle takes his pen and small notebook from his pocket and proceeds to write an FCC Fine. Charley Bavadra, never one to keep his mouth shut at eyesight of a camera, decides to rattle off a few words.]
Bavadra: -- I want to know where cWo's legal counsel is? Fair practice in the cWo is as laughable as that old broad running The White House.--
Crittle: You can't say that word, Charley. You should know better.
Bavadra: But, I was talking about Clinton. That Arabic's Senior Campaign Staffer can call her a 'Monster', but I can't call her a broad?
Crittle: -- Quit saying it. I'll have no choice to fine you an additional fifty cents.
[Bavadra digs in his pocket. No change. He pats himself down, animated.]
Crittle: The FCC waits for no man, my friend. Pay your fine.
[Bavadra bends down and pulls a wallet hooked onto a wallet chain from his wrestling boot. Opening the wallet, he fingers through several bills.]
Bavadra: Got change for a Lincoln?--
Crittle: No.
Bavadra: Nevermind. found a Washington.-- I want my change back too.
[Bavadra hands the dollar to Crittle, who walks away at a table that has the FCC Cash Register. While Crittle is attending to FCC Business, Bavadra speaks up.]
Bavadra: Hey, Nerds With Technology. We haven't forgotten. We want our music that you two hijacked with Alvin, Simon and Earl. --
Crittle: I believe it's Theo.
[Bavadra looks over his shoulder. Crittle looks over his shoulder a few feet away. Half a minute of whispering until Bavadra speaks up.]
Bavadra: Theo was a Brady. Ya know, Pudding Man's son. -- Any way, it doesn't matter the names. A crook is a crook. Our music better be restored to its proper form tonight or there will be messy legalities from 'Bava Boom' Productions. I'm pretty sure that the FCC will back my play, Nerds.
[Dorian Crittle walks over with a piece of a dollar, tapping Charley on the shoulder. Charley cups both hands together, accepting 'change'. Charley acts dramatic as he hits his knees, gasping. Apparently, he is annoying and cheap.]
Crittle: On the Pay Per View, I counted 121 FCC Infractions by the cWo employees. I will be obtaining addresses of those in the wrong so expect your fines in the mail. Between the sexual propaganda and using the Deity's name in vein many times, the level of verbal recklessness was simply too graphic for Sanctioned Television.
[Crittle lifts his tablet up to his face.]
Crittle: Also, I am fining Lizzette Morgan for sharing the name of a serial killer in the early 1900's. I am fining Andrew Edwards for sharing a name with a doctor on NBC's 'ER', -- you know, the man who played Dr. Greene. You cannot assume false identity.
[Charley gets off his knees, laying a hand on Dorian's shoulder.]
Bavadra: FCC is hardcore tonight. -- I would do what they say.
[And so, the camera moves onward to the commercial.]
Commercial Break
[The camera cuts to the back where Tiffany Tolberg is standing by with Muru. He is not dressed to compete instead wearing a pair of jeans and an Omega t-shirt more suited for a child. The shirt is bursting at the seams especially near the arms and barely comes midway down his stomach]
Tiffany Tolberg: I am here with the newest member of Omega, Muru!. Last week at Dangerous Engagement Notorious JON was finally able to get a victory over you, and according to him prove that the two times you defeated him were flukes. How are you feeling tonight?
Muru: How am I feeling? I have been better Tiffany. Last week was one of the biggest matches I have had in recent memory and I didn't get the job done. The worst part about it is that I finally had just gotten out from under the thumb of Tony Awesome. Now I have to bow to the will of Notorious Jon and I only have myself to blame. I had a chance to rid cWo of the cancer that is Omega once and for all and I failed. So now I stand before you having to wear a Omega shirt that wouldn't even fit you and lend my talents to a cause I don't even believe in.
[A cellular phone begins to ring playing a midi version of Notorious Jon's theme. Muru reaches into the pocket of his jeans and pulls out his phone. He quickly mutes the ringer]
Muru: Now where was I? Oh yeah being a part of Omega. Well it's been terrible so far. See now only am I a member of Omega but I guess I am Jon's personal slave as well. While everyone else has a life outside the business I have had to spend the last week running errands for Jon. He wanted something to eat, I went and got it. If he needed his luggage carried, I did it. When he wanted a sponge bath I drew the line. I may be a man of my word but there are some things I just won't do.
[The phone begins to ring again and Muru mutes it quickly again]
Tiffany Tolberg: So you have been on the road with Omega all week then?
Muru: That's right Tiffany, I have spent the week catering to the needs of Jon and as much as I would like to ball my hand into a fist and knock him out, I can't. When I woke up this morning I stood in front of the mirror and I was disgusted at what I have become. The sky used to be the limit for me, but now I feel like a shadow of my former self. When I took that match I realized the consequences and now I have to live by them. My life is no longer my own, but my mind it. So I will do what I am told and I will wait for the right time and then I will get my payback. You know what they say about payback?
Tiffany Tolberg: It's a bitch?
Muru: Right. Until then I will be nothing more than POO...Property of Omega.
[The phone rings for a third time, and Muru answers in frustration]
Muru: I am in the middle of something...Yeah I know you own me...Fine I will be right there.
[He closes the phone shut to end the call]
Muru: Seems like I am going to have to cut this short. Jon needs me for something...
[Muru walks away leaving a stunned Tiffany Tolberg standing there as the camera fades back to ringside]
Wilden: Muru catering to Notorious JON’s needs? I knew this is what they had in mind!
Hart: Of course it is! Are you kidding me? What did you think Muru was good for? He was the ring announcer a few weeks ago!
Wilden: Ugh – and before the break, folks, we witnessed Dorian Crittle and Charley Bavadra call out the Nerds with Attitude for stealing their music – and even go as far to say that the FCC will be clamping down on cWo!
Hart: This Crittle is a powerful man over at the FCC – I wouldn’t want to get on his bad side! In the ring, however, it’s a different story – they’ve gotten blasted the last couple times they’ve been in the ring!
Wilden: Well, we’re going to see if they can snap that streak tonight – let’s head on down to the ring where Donna Dixon is ready to call the action of the night!
[The familiar dimming of arena lights and spotlight crew come out. The Chipmunk Version of 'Almost Paradise' begins to play among the walls as there is a small rumble of laughter scattered throughout the building. Charley Bavadra comes out first with Dorian Crittle holding his ears from the mockery. They walk hurriedly to the ring, their facial expressions bordering on tears.]
Donna Dixon: The following contest is a tag team match scheduled for one fall. Introducing the first team, Charley Bavadra and Dorian Crittle, they are SANCTIONED TELEVISION!
[The music stops as Dorian and Charley sand in the ring waiting for Austin and Lizzette.]
Hart: Well, that was interesting. That chipmunk music sucks.
Wilden: It sure does but lets see how this match goes tonight.
[We pan towards the stage as The lights dim out as the return with a cool blue tint as we begin to hear "Take Me On" by Reel Big Fish. We begin to hear the countdown right before the song kicks in as a pyrotechnic shoots from the screen. Austin Edwards and Lizzette Morgan walk out on to the stage and look down the ramp. They turn to each other and then back to the ring before running down the ramp and sliding under the ropes. As they get to their feet both Crittle and Bavadra get out of the ring and look in at them.]
Donna Dixon: Introducing first from Palm Beach, Florida he is the Prince of Palm Beach AUSTIN EDWARDS! And his tag team partner hailing from New York City, New York, LIZZETTE MORGAN!
[Austin and Lizzette walk towards their corner as Crittle and Bavadra get up on the apron and into the ring.]
Wilden: It looks like Austin and Lizzette have cleared up their little dispute they had a couple weeks ago. But lets see if they can come out with a victory over STV.
Hart: Well, if it starts to break down I think STV can pull out a victory. But Edwards and Morgan seem to be a very good team together. They have chemistry for a team the has only teamed together a couple of times.
[The bell sounds as Austin and Crittle start off in the ring. They lock up as Crittle locks in a side head lock. Austin shoots him off into the ropes. As Crittle comes back Austin leap frogs him and catches him with a drop kick on the way back.]
Wilden: Great athleticism shown there by Austin Edwards. He hit that drop kick out of no where. Crittle never saw it coming.
Hart: Yeah, your telling me. I never that would happen either. What a kick.
[Crittle quickly makes the tag to Bavadra. As he enters the ring he locks up with Austin. Austin forces him into the corner and tags in Lizzette. The two begin to stomp away at Bavadra as the ref starts to count for Austin to leave the ring.]
Hart: Lizzette and Austin are on a mission to tear these two men apart. They just doubled team him in the corner.
Wilden: Smart strategy there. Keep the man on your side of the ring and try to pick up a quick victory.
[Lizzette lets Bavadra up and sends him to the ropes. Bavadra blocks it by holding on to the ropes and quickly tagging out to Crittle as Lizzette stands in the middle and watches the tag take place.]
Wilden: Well, looks like Bavadra hasn't gotten over his fear of women yet.
Hart: Bavadra is just being a SALLY! You are bigger than her Bavadra!
[Crittle comes into the ring and locks up with Lizzette sending here into the corner. He charges in only to be met with a boot straight to the face sending him stumbling back wards. Lizzette charges in and hits a beautiful hurricanranna.]
Hart: AMAZING move there Lance. I didn't see that coming at all.
Wilden: Austin and Lizzette are two very athletic wrestlers and they know what they are doing in that ring Robby. Lets just hope they don't lose their focus.
[Crittle tags out to Bavadra as Lizzette tags out to Austin. Bavadra charges Austin and gets met with a quick dropkick to the knees. Bavadra slams face first into the mat as Austin quickly goes for a cover. The ref goes down for the count. 1...2...Kick Out!]
Wilden: This match was almost over they Robby. That shot to the knees was incredible.
Hart: I am pretty sure Bavadra doesn't think it was that great.
[Bavadra hits Austin with a beautiful Fisherman's Suplex and only gets a two count. Before it is broken up by Lizzette.]
Wilden: Well, it looks like that isn't the end yet.
Hart: I guess not Lance.
[Both Austin and Bavadra get to their feet. Austin runs off the ropes as Bavadra goes for a leap frog but goes up a little early and comes down straight into a reverse atomic drop. Bavadra quickly grabs his lower extremities as he rolls around on the mat. Austin gets up pointing to his head as he smirks. He walks over and tags in Lizzette.]
Hart: OUCH! That has to hurt. I am glad I don't wrestle. That hurts.
Wilden: I can guarantee you that getting a knee to that area is going to hurt a lot.
[Lizzette comes in and gets Bavadra up on his feet. Bavadra quickly counters her and lifts her up for an over the shoulder power slam. As he turns he hits Crittle in the head with Lizzette's feet. Bavadra quickly gets dropped on his head by a counter DDT by Lizzette.]
Hart: That was a pretty nice counter there by Lizzette but too bad Bavadra can't tag out. He knocked his own partner off the ring!
Wilden: Well, that is going to cause some problems.
[Bavadra launches Lizzette across the ring with a beautiful belly to belly suplex, sending her right to her corner.]
Wilden: This doesn't look good for Morgan and Edwards.
Hart: She is getting thrown around like a rag doll.
[Lizzette quickly tags in Austin who comes in and goes right after Bavadra. Austin lifts Bavadra up in a fire mans carry before quickly running him head first into the turnbuckles before dropping him on the mat. Austin drags him towards the center of the ring as he makes a tag to Lizzette. Austin lifts Lizzette up for a suplex and lets her go at the climax as she comes off with a 450 splash landing on Bavadra.]
Wilden: OH MY GOD! What a move that was. I can't believe it.
Hart: I am pretty sure this match is OVER!
[Lizzette goes for the cover. As Crittle begins to get to his feet out on the floor we see Austin charge and leap through the ropes hitting a suicide dive on Crittle! The ref begins the count. ONE.....TWO......THREE!]
Donna Dixon: Here are your winners…AUSTIN EDWARDS AND LIZZETTE MORGAAAAN!
Wilden: That was Pure DOMINATION by Lizzette and Austin. STV didn't stand a chance in this match!
Hart: No kidding! Austin and Lizzette must be pissed that they are not the cWo Tag Team Champions. I would be too if I were them – anything’s better than those hippies right now!
Wilden: Nevertheless folks, we’re going to head backstage right now, where apparently Jason Duran is standing with Jack Union, who might very well give us some insight into last week’s actions!
Hart: He doesn’t have to explain himself to anyone – his actions explained everything! He chose the winning side!
[The scene cuts to Jason Duran, holding a mic up to Jack Union, who is wearing a black suit and sunglasses]
Duran: Jack Union, while people understand to an extent why your attitude has changed somewhat these past weeks, a lot of people can't get their heads around why you'd ally yourself with a man like Nick Dangerous. To a lot of fans, the Jack Union they cheer for stood up to bullies like Dangerous.
[Jack sighs, showing little emotion]
Union: In that case, a lot of fans are stupid, Jason.
Duran: Care to explain further?
Union: Look, in a fans world, there are good guys, and there are bad guys. You cheer for the good ones, and boo the bad ones, right? well they don't know jack. In reality, there aren't good guys and bad guys, there are winners, and there are losers, the latter being a group I've been a member of for far too long. I am sick and tired of losing stupid matches, I'm sick of not being taken seriously, and I'm sick of idiots patting me on the back and saying 'good match, maybe next week'. Cheers from fans don't mean Jack when you're lying on your back after getting your ass kicked. Fans on your side doesn't get you title shots. Cheers alone don't get you name into halls of fame. I guess for the first time in a while, I've had this veil lifted from my eyes - I can SEE what I was doing wrong, and what I was doing wrong was THE RIGHT THING. Being such a 'great guy' that people walked all over me. Well, not anymore. This is New Union. Old Union died a while ago, and he ain’t coming back.
Duran: Aren't you afraid of fan backlash?
Union: SO WHAT? Did the fans help when I used to get group beatdowns every week? Did they support me during my darkest periods? Did they really do anything apart from clap and cheer me on when I took a pasting every match? No! They did nothing, so why should I make an effort for them? Shall I swagger in the ring next week? Swearing away, talking trash to everyone I meet? I bet the fans would LOVE to see me make an idiot of myself for their amusement, and to be honest, I'm bored of that. I'm tired of trying to impress everyone else. Now’s the time for impressing myself.
Duran: And your relationship with Nick Dangerous and his associates?
Union: Nick Dangerous is a winner. A champion. People are jealous of him, you know? But me? I can respect what he's done for this business, and I'm going to make sure I ignore what the press think, ignore what the fans chant, ignore what the other idiots in this fed say. I'm looking out for me, and I'm going to do everything I can to ensure my place in the title history books of this company. That’s a fact.
Duran: Thank you for your time Jack Union.
Union: Thanks for wasting mine, Jason.
[Jack leaves a stunned Jason Duran as the camera fades to black]
Commercial Break
[Lt Cmdr Drake Browne hides behind a corner, leaning against the wall. He's dressed in a formal Star Trek Uniform, specifically made for special occasions. He holds a small tape recorder and quietly talks into it.]
Browne: Science officer's log, stardate -315192.16. We have been tasked to encounter Omega, our deadliest enemy to date. Our records and research shows Omega to be like war-like group, but not immune from reason. My partner and I have divided, and each seek to reason and communicate with Omega's heirarchy. If I don't make it back alive, tell MY ASIAN GIRLFRIEND I said Dai Su Ki!
[He turns the corner and is face to face with Notorious JON, who is followed by Muru. Muru is carrying a duffel bag strapped to each shoulder, a rolling suitcase in his right hand and a suitcase in his left hand.]
Browne: Hey, you're Notorious JON! I'm a HUGE fan of yours?
Notorious JON: You want an autograph for something?
Browne: I've got one! I was at a singing for the DVD release of Iron Mountain!
Notorious JON: Oh, of course! Glad you like the movie.
Browne: I like all your work. I have all your movies on DVD, even the ones from Japan. MY GIRLFRIEND who lives in Glorious Nippon itself sent me the DVDs!
Notorious JON: Well, that's cool. Glad to hear it.
Browne: In fact, we have a match tonight.
Notorious JON: Wait, we do?
Browne: My partner and I comprise NWA.
Notorious JON: (chuckles) That's YOU?
Browne: Right. Now, I you're probably thinking we don't match up well with you... and you're right! That's why I have an offer for you.
Notorious JON: Oh yeah, an offer?
Browne: Well, when it comes to Omega I understand that Resistance is Futile. That's why my partner and I would like to add our individuality to your collective.
Notorious JON: You wanna join Omega?
Browne: Affirmative.
Notorious JON: Let me put this in a way you'd understand it. Did Janeway just let ANYONE be in her crew on Voyager?
Browne: Well, there were times in which Captain Picard....
Notorious JON: ADMIRAL Janeway was clearly the superior officer.
Browne: YOU TAKE THAT BACK! HOW COULD SHE MAKE ADMIRAL BEFORE PICARD?! SHE GOT HER CREW LOST IN SPACE FOR SEVEN YEARS AND WOULDN'T TAKE ANY SHORTCUTS? THEY PROMOTED HER FOR THAT?!
[Browne, in full nerd rage, slaps the back of his head furiously. Notorious JON sighs, then motions at Muru and they leave Browne alone in the hallway, fuming.]i
Browne: AND SEVEN OF NINE WAS THE BEGINNING OF THE END OF STAR TREK AS A TELEVISED SERIES!
[Browne continues slapping his head as the camera fades to ringside]
Wilden: Nerds with Attitude as a part of OMEGA?
Hart: There’s a way to destroy credibility!
Wilden: But – how does Notorious JON know more than they do about Star Trek? You want to talk about nerds –
Hart: Hey! Just to let you know, Notorious JON is a very knowledgeable person! It’s common talk out in Los Angeles, you know!
Wilden: Perhaps – but before the break folks, Jason Duran caught up with Jack Union, who offered some pretty heavy words on why he helped out Nick Dangerous last week at Dangerous Engagement!
Hart: He’s in prime form now, Lance! I love this new Jack Union!
Wilden: Which is good – you only hated him a few weeks ago!
Hart: The times they are a changing, Lance!
Wilden: Well folks, as mentioned last week at Dangerous Engagement – the Mendel family would all be reunited this week at Driven, even under these tragic circumstances!
Hart: God rest his soul!
Wilden: But reuniting the Mendel clan obviously means ALL of the Mendel clan – meaning, Andrew Mendel has returned to the cWo! Details were sketchy about his return, but rest assured, he will be back with a vengeance!
Hart: Shame on Andrew Fiasco for pulling the trigger on his release!
Wilden: It wasn’t just his fault – and you know it!
Hart: Who cares! He’s the one to blame! But here we go – now he’s ready to eat his own words!
Andrew Fiasco: Ladies and gentlemen, four weeks ago, after winning the cWo United States Champion, the man I'm about to introduce was released with little warning to him or are fan base. Over the course of the past several weeks, you, the cWo viewers, have called, written and e-mailed cWo. Well, the Board of Directors, Tony Awesome and myself feel as though we may have been a bit hasty with firing this man. You wanted him back, ladies and gentlemen, and now you've got him! Without any further ado...he is "THE COMEBACK KID", ANDREW MENDEL!!
[The opening strains of "Our Truth" cues on the PA and a mixed, if still loud, reaction comes from the crowd. Then the music stars and the arena goes black for a few moments, before fireworks explode from the ramp and the chorus comes in. Slowly but surely, Andrew Mendel makes his way out onto the ramp, wearing a leather jacket, a white wifebeater and jeans, with dark tinted sunglasses, a big smile on his face. He makes his way down the ramp, soaking in the reaction from the crowd.]
Wilden: To say that the return of this man is polarizing would be an understatement! Arguably one of the most hated men at one time in the cWo, was fired for reasons still unsure to us four weeks ago! Since then, the cWo fans have e-mailed and written and called, basically petitioned to get this man back! A lot of people don't like him, apparently here in Minneapolis, a lot of people do. That doesn't matter- "The Comeback Kid" Andrew Mendel has returned to the cWo, and though I have questioned his tactics in the past, I'm glad to see him come back!
Hart: This is bittersweet to me, personally. I mean, I'm happy to see Andrew Mendel come back home, but...but what about Reg! Look at him, he's in jeans, he's in Timberland boots, in shades. He doesn't look ready for a funeral!
Wilden: Well I'm sure Andrew has Reg Mendel on his heart as we all do, but to come back and get this kind of reaction, I mean...he's only human, Robbie!
Hart: I know, but it...it just doesn't seem right!
[Andrew Mendel climbs the ring ropes and steps into the ring, the brushes past Andrew Fiasco to get to the turnbuckles to play to the crowd. He smiles brightly as hops down off the apron and Fiasco applauds for him. The music dies down and Andrew smiles as a "CBK!" chant goes through the crowd.]
Fiasco: Andrew, let me be the first to officially welcome you...
Andrew: [snatching the mic] Ya know something...as much as I'd love to sit out here and listen to you kiss my ass, I can't help but be reminded that you were one of the punkasses who let me go! [The crowd boos]. So do me a favor, Fiasco- take your million dollar ass, turn it around, walk down those steps, up the ramp and into the back, sit your ass down in the chair, and file some paperwork, chump, before I take one of these Timberland boots, and kick your teeth down your throat!
[Another mixed reaction goes through the crowd as Fiasco frowns and shakes his head. CBK smiles as Fiasco leaves the ring.]
Andrew: Ladies and gentlemen, now that I've got the trash out of my ring, allow me to reintroduce myself! I am "The Favorite", I am "The Comeback Kid", I am BIG DADDY HIMSELF. [Another mixed reaction goes through the crowd.] And for the last four or so weeks, I've been sitting on my ass, feeling sorry for myself, asking myself a question that no one knows the answer to, apparently...why? Why was I let go? Why let me go? Was it my dashing good looks? My incredible, nearly unmatched skill? A prospect like me goes for a pretty penny, after all. And then I realized something...[CBK appears to choke up]. It was because...it was because I needed to be humbled.
[A small chorus of boos goes through the crowd.]
Wilden: Hard to argue that point.
Hart: I'd argue that!
Andrew: I'd become arrogant, full of myself. I had a bad attitude, I...I thought I was above all my peers, that I was so much better than them, and...you know what I learned in all that time?
Hart: What?
Andrew: [wipes fake tears from his face, then smiles] That I was so effing right!
[Andrew laughs as the mixed reaction goes up once again.]
Wilden: I really should've saw that coming.
Andrew: Seriously, what has this show been like without The Comeback Kid? I mean sure, ya got a bunch of tag team jerks in the company now, but you could take twelve of those guys and they wouldn't equal up to one half of me! And without me, this show has become boring, droll even! The in-ring competition was mediocore, the microphone work was...well, certainly not up to my snuff, and the matches? HA! Muru beat Notorious Jon twice! TWICE! And that was the highlight of TV! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, like it or not, this show just wasn't the same without yours truly!
Hart: I agree!
Andrew: But I like to give credit where credits due. And I know I've said a lot about you guys...this comes from the heart, folks. The only reason I'm back here in the cWo today isn't because Andrew Fiasco or Tony Awesome. It sure as hell isn't because of my brother. No...the reason I'm back here is because you people wanted me to come back! [The crowd gives him a solid cheer.] Like I said, a long time ago, when I decided to cut the glorious golden locks and changed the name, I blamed you guys for the course of my career, and that wasn't entirely fair. And at the end of the day...it was you guys that saved my career. I've spent a good portion of the last year talking about what it takes to be a man, and when I sat and thought about what I was gonna say tonight...I don't think I could be a real man without thanking everyone that got me BACK into the cWo!
[The crowd cheers and Andrew nods.]
Wilden: That was the kind of heart I wasn't sure that Andrew could show, and these fans appreciate that.
Hart: ...He thanks these people. God, Andrew must be in shock!
Andrew: And now that the sappy part of the show is over, it's time to get down to business! Ladies and gentlemen, apparently, the United States Championship has been stripped from me, the title is pretty much up for grabs...but, ya know, I just don't think that belt can contain the force that is The Comeback Kid. So this is a message to the would be contenders, and the current, would be World Heavyweight Champion..."THE COMEBACK KID..."
[The opening strains of "Tiger the Lion" roll through the arena and the crowd begins to boo as Chazz walks out onto the stage in a suit and tie. Someone shorter than him that bares a resemblance to him is wearing Andrew's "I'm The Favorite" t-shirt with a sports jacket over it and slacks, head down, hands stuffed in his pocket.]
Wilden: Well here comes Chazz Mendel, the middle child of the Mendel family, and...I do believe that's Colin Mendel as well, the youngest Mendel child!
Hart: And they're all ready to go to the memorial service. I mean, aside from that t-shirt. But still, they appear to be morning at least!
[Chazz steps into the ring and demands a microphone. The crowd chants "CHAZZ SUCKS! CHAZZ SUCKS!" as Chazz begins to talk.]
Chazz: What the hell are you doing, man? Do you even know what's happened to this family!?
Andrew: Uh...we saved a bunch of money on our car insurance by switching to Geico?
Chazz: ...Funny, very funny! You think this is the time and place for jokes? With what's happening tonight? Or were you not watching last week when our father died an a zeppelin explosion!
Andrew: Chazz, look, of course I realize that, but let's face it- if the old man was alive and well, and he saw that we were moping around, he'd kick our ass! In fact I bet Dad is looking on from... [looks up, thinks for a second, then looks down and points] down there, hoping that Satan himself gives him a "Go To Earth For a Day Pass" so he could rise from the dead and kick your ass for even thinking about crying!
Chazz: He was my father, you asshole! This isn't some joke, Reg Mendel...he's gone! Look at Colin! LOOK AT HIM!
Andrew: [sighs] I see him, Chazz...
Chazz: Colin...Colin hasn't said a word since last week! And yet hear you stand, laughing and joking while the family falls apart!
Andrew: Hey, look...I went to the funeral, Chazz. But if you think I'm going to go to this stupid memorial service Thaddeus is putting on...
Chazz: It's not about Thaddeus, it's about Dad, our father! I said it since day one you didn't have what it takes to be a Mendel! And with the man gone, and you delusional, I think it's time the family had a new patriarch! And that man is me!
Andrew: Oh, really? How do you figure that one, pretty boy? You think putting on an Armani suit with the tags still on it and a fake Rolex watch makes you mini-Reg? Let's not forget something, kiddo- I'M STILL THE OLDEST! [The crowd cheers in agreement.] And let's us not forget, I can still kick your ass! So since I'm the oldest, I am the figurehead of this family now, how about this. Instead of sitting here moping, we just hit up the Minneapolis bars, find a couple of girls, and tip our bottles to the most important guy in our lives and celebrate his life instead of dwell in his death!
[The crowd cheers and Chazz shakes his head.]
Chazz: You idiots here in Minneapolis don't know squat! You jerk off are still cheering the damn Timberwolves! They lost five games in a row, and the only reason you won was because Ron Artest wasn't around to smash your asses! [The crowd boos as Chazz starts to seeth]. You want get booze and hot broads, huh? First off, there are no hot broads in this hellhole, and secondly, I don't think your wife would like that very much!
Andrew [grabs Chazz by the collar] You shut your mouth, Chazz!
Chazz: Oh, what! You're still trying to be the millionaire playboy! How does old Mildred feel about that, huh? How do the little ones, how does Chris and Gabby feel about that, huh!?
Andrew: I said shut up! Don't bring my family in this!
Chazz: You want to talk about Dad's wishes, about being a man, but you're still whipped by a woman! I'm paying respects to my father and you’re a slave to a woman with no compassion! You'd make Dad sick!
Wilden: Oh man, this is getting volatile!
Hart: CBK is married!? To someone named MILDRED? How could he lie to me like that!
Wilden: Something have to stay quiet, I don't think Andrew wanted the entire world to know!
Andrew: I'm telling you right now, little brother, don't you test me, with Dad gone there's no one to protect you from me putting my foot up your ass!
Colin: [stepping in-between them] Hey, hey! Everyone just chill, man!
[Andrew looks at Colin and sighs, letting go of Chazz. Chazz smooths out his suit.]
Wilden: The youngest Mendel Colin making talking some sense into his older brothers...
Colin: Dad believed in the Mendel name above all! And now you two jerks are out here disgracing everything that it means! You guys...man!
[Colin throws down the microphone and leaves the ring as CBK and Chazz glare at one another.]
Wilden: A lot of strife in this family...
Andrew: Ya see what you're doing, Chazz? You're getting everyone riled up! But I guess I have to thank Colin for snapping me out of my funk. I got a little heated there for a minute, but thanks, you bought me back. I'd almost forgotten what I was saying. Ya see, Chazz...rumor has it that tonight, it's going to be you, Serious, and Nick Dangerous in a rematch for the World Heavyweight Championship. And I've got two things to say about that. One, little brother...don't expect me to help your ass tonight, you're on your own kiddo, and seeing as thought you couldn't get it done last week, I'm relatively sure that Johnny Serious will win HIS World Championship back, whether you get pinned or not!
[The crowd cheers at the Serious mention and Chazz glares.]
Wilden: Did Andrew Mendel just endorse Johnny Serious as World Heavyweight Champion!?
Hart: Lies! All lies! My heart has broken enough, Andrew, I can't take much more.
Andrew: And secondly...on the off chance you do win, little brother...and this goes for everyone in that match. My time has come. It's been far, far too long, I'm tired of waiting. If you win...if Nick wins...if Johnny wins...I'm coming for the World Heavyweight Championship! [The crowd cheers and Andrew smiles.] It will be mine, Chazzworth, oh yes, it will be mine, and it will be mine very soon. Because as you know, little brother...I'm one percent plastic, I'm ninety-nine percent ass kick, and alllllll FANTASTIC! And there's no one... [gets in Chazz's face]...nooooooo one...that will stop me.
["Our Truth" cues on the PA. Andrew gets some solid cheers as he rolls out of the ring and starts to walk up the ramp. Chazz looks on in disgust as CBK high fives the fans on his way up.]
Wilden: A change has come over Andrew Mendel, and he's made his intentions known! He's endorsed Johnny Serious as champion, we found out that the playboy has a family, and as I understand it, he's not going to Reg's memorial service tonight!
Hart: Oh it's a change alright, a bad change! I've never seen him so disrespectful before! Oh, this has to be a woman's doing! My mentor, Andrew Mendel, married! With children!
Wilden: My oh my, the dissension in the Mendel ranks is palpable!
Hart: I don’t know if it can get much worse than this, Lance – this is a severe blow to WHO I AM.
Wilden: Folks – instead of heading to a commercial break, we’re going to our next match of the evening, which will be the Ronald Crewe and Octavius Winslow contest!
Hart: This should be an all out bloodbath, Lance! I can’t wait to see what these two throw at one another tonight!
Wilden: A lot of pent up emotion, that’s for certain!
Hart: It’ll be classic! A pure brawl through and through!
Wilden: Let’s head on down to Donna Dixon since the ring is now cleared – take it away!
Donna Dixon: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
You can love me or hate me
But I'm still gonna get my money
Envy and jealousy is all I see
[Yeah] I can see the hate in ya eyes
You can try but you can't stop me
I keep it real, I keep it street
So tell everybody that don't like me
That I can see the hate in ya eyes
Donna Dixon: Making his way to the ring from Athens, Greece and weighing in at 270 pounds,..OCTAVIUS WINSLOOOOOW!
[A spotlight shines on the entrance and the outline of a large man with an afro is seen. The man takes a step forward into the spotlight. The crowd boos the arrival of Octavius Winslow and he arrogantly walks to the ring to prepare for his next mauling and to get paid.]
Donna Dixon: And his opponent!
If you are what you say you are
A superstar
Then have no fear
The camera's here
and the microphones and they wanna know
Oh oh oh yeah
[Lupe Fiasco’s “Superstar” is immediately cut off by Three Six Mafia’s “Stay Fly” as pyrotechnics explode at the top of the ramp]
Call me the juice and you know Imma stunt
Ride in the car with some bump in the trunk
Tone in my lap and you know it's the pump
Breakin’ down the good weed rollin’ the blunt
Ghetto pimp tight girls say I'm the man
Ice on the wrist with the ice in the chains
Ridin’ through the hood got me grippin the grain
And I'm sippin’ the same while I'm changin’ the lanes
Eyes real tight ‘cuz I'm chokin’ the creep
Vision messed up cuz I'm drinkin’ the lean
Messing with D boys riding them big toys
Make your main gal wanna get on my team
She gotta give it up before she get in my car
I ain't Denzel but I know Imma star
‘Cuz when I'm in the club I be back in the far in the VIP part everybody in the bar
Donna Dixon: Making his way to the ring from Detroit, Michigan and weighing in at 253 pounds…RONALD “WRECKING” CREWEEEE!
[Crewe charges out through the smoke and down the ramp, sliding into the ring immediately as Hector Garcia calls for the bell]
[Ding Ding Ding]
Wilden: Crewe starting this one off with a bang!
Hart: Just like we talked about, Lance!
Wilden: These two are wasting no time, whatsoever!
Hart: Just the way I like it!
[Both men spar with one another as Winslow gains the edge and backs Crewe into the ropes. He bounces him off, but Crewe ducks under a clothesline and then hits a running knee to the chest of Winslow on the turnaround!]
Wilden: That one came out of nowhere!
Hart: He’s a man of many surprises, Lance! I like this guy Crewe – Winslow, not so much! He’s just a punk that has an attitude problem!
Wilden: Look at you – siding with the fan favorite!
Hart: Wait, what’s that?
[Crewe immediately pulls Winslow back to his feet and hooks his arm around his waistline and quickly lifts him into the air, holding him briefly for a second before executing an EXPLODER SUPLEX!]
Wilden: I think Winslow’s head just bounced off the canvas right there!
Hart: That didn’t look too good – that’s for certain!
Wilden: Crewe – coming immediately out of the gate here tonight folks, it’s almost as if Octavius Winslow isn’t standing a chance!
Hart: He just wants to line his pockets, Lance – we all know this!
Wilden: But one would think he’d put up some type of an effort and not try and get himself killed out there!
Hart: He’s probably got good health insurance!
[Crewe stands idly back for a second, waiting and calling for Winslow to get back to his feet. The fans get behind Crewe as he waves his arms in the air in disgust as Winslow slowly makes it to his feet, almost taunting the energetic Crewe]
Wilden: It really seems as if Winslow feels he’s got someplace better to be right now!
Hart: I wish I had somewhere else to go – you know what it’s like to sit next to you all the time? I need someone else to speak to, you know!
Wilden: That’s why you have a wife, Robbie!
Hart: I do not! Didn’t you see that sextape? We’re separated!
Wilden: Don’t mix work and play!
Hart: You brought it up, Lance!
[Winslow painfully moves towards Crewe, inviting disaster as Crewe lunges forward, taking him down with a chop block to the knee and then spins Winslow around, locking his arm around Winslow’s head and showing that Justice is Served!]
Wilden: Crewe’s got his finishing maneuver locked in already!
Hart: What a sham – look at this! Winslow is waving his arms in the air already! Either the pain or the activity has gotten to him!
[Ding Ding Ding]
Donna Dixon: Here is your winner…RONALD “WRECKING” CREWEEEEE!
Wilden: A less than brilliant display here tonight by Octavius Winslow – and look! The fans are getting behind Crewe as he gets into the face of Winslow – he wants to know what’s going on!
Hart: What does he want to know that for? He won his match – just move on!
Wilden: I think he’s curious as to why Winslow asked for this match and then threw it!
Hart: Gambling debts? Maybe that’s why Winslow is here in the cWo to begin with! The plot thickens!
[Crewe yells something at Winslow and throws his hands up in disgust as Winslow turns his back to him. As Crewe attempts to leave the ring, Winslow tries for a cheap shot at him, but Crewe ducks and drives a hard knee into the midsection of Octavius Winslow and leaves the ring, leaving the Greek man lying in agony as the fans boo]
Wilden: Well ladies and gentlemen – I’m really unsure of how to characterize this match. One side of me wants to push the abilities of Ronald Crewe, as we’ve seen in previous weeks, but another side of me is curious to know just how easy it was out there with Octavius Winslow effectively not showing up to the arena tonight!
Hart: I think you could have beaten him tonight, Lance – and that’s bad!
Wilden: Nevertheless, Ronald Crewe is slowly making a name for himself here in the cWo, despite the fact that his opponents don’t seem up to the challenge – he has the tools, it’s just a matter of finding the niche now!
Hart: It’s only a matter of time before this street fighter gets into a groove and has gold wrapped around his midsection – I guarantee it!
Wilden: Folks, we’re looking at another commercial break, but when we come back, Thaddeus Walker’s memorial service for the fallen Reg Mendel – stay tuned!
Hart: Oh, the humanity!
Prove Your Worth, O Noble One!
["Dungeon Master" Ethan Long, dressed in a tinfoil breastplate and blanket cape, barges into the Omega locker room, where Heretic sits alone, applying ice to his knees and shoulder. Long raises a sword that appears to be made out of tape and PVC piping.]
Long: Hail Lord Heretic!
Heretic: Oh what the [bleep] is this?
Long: Lo! The Dungeon Master brings you tidings!
Heretic: I'm not coming back to Warcraft! And I'm not gonna LARP with you!
Long: Surely the great Heretic will grant an audience for a humble knave.
Heretic: Ok. You've got one minute.
Long: Mi'Lord... it is not Omega which NWA's quarrel is with, yet the fates have conspired to draw us together.
Heretic: You wrote all that Omega fanfiction, didn't you?!
Long: 'Twas I!
Heretic: You wrote the one where I had gay sex with the guy from Final Fantasy VII, didn't you?
Long: Sephiroth! Yes, M'Lord!
Heretic: Ugh.
Long: NWA na're wanted to make an enemy of mighty Omega. O'er the contrary, we wish to align with your noble guild!
Heretic: YOU wanna join Omega?
Long: Yes M'Lord!
Heretic: How should I put this? One does not simply walk into Mordor.
Long: Ouch. Burn.
Heretic: You wanna join Omega? Prove yourselves to us tonight.
Long: But... but.... M'Lord!
Heretic: Minute over.
Long: M'Lord, I beseech you!
[Heretic has shut off. He stares off into space, ignoring Long, who slouches his shoulder and walks out of the room. Heretic looks at the door.]
Heretic: n00b.
[Heretic shakes his head as the camera heads to a commercial]
Commercial Break
Letting Out Steam
[Camera pans backstage to find Ronald Crewe in his locker room, throwing chairs around and yelling at the top of his lungs in disgust]
Crewe: That mother [beep]! He thinks he can show me up? He thinks he can walk into the ring with Ronald Crewe and half-ass his way around?
[Camera focuses in on Crewe grabbing a chair and smashing it against a wall until it bends backwards]
Crewe: I dun’t know who these foo’s think they’re messin’ with! I don’t think these foo’s know what Ronald Crewe is all about!
[Crewe tosses the chair across the room, almost effortlessly and sits down on the floor, bringing his knees to his face]
Crewe: I just gotta prove to everyone once again that I ain’t no slouch. I ain’t no pansy – these boys don’t know what’s gonna hit ‘em.
[Crewe leans back against the wall and sighs heavily as the camera fades back to ringside]
Wilden: Evidently – Ronald Crewe a little upset about the way Octavius Winslow handled himself in that match!
Hart: And you wouldn’t be?
Wilden: Also folks, before the break – we witnessed another ill-fated attempt by the Nerds with Attitude to join OMEGA – there’s only so much of this pestering that OMEGA can take!
Hart: I don’t know what you’re talking about – those guys have the patience of saints!
Wilden: They sure don’t act like them though, that’s for certain! But folks, let’s turn our attention to the ring for the memorial service of a legend, Reginald J. Mendel!
["Amazing Grace" on bagpipes begins to play and the arena darkens. Reg Mendel's picture appears on the big screen. A single spotlight illuminates the entrance way and follows Thaddeus Walker, dressed in a full suit and wearing a black armband, to the ring. He climbs into the ring and a microphone is lowered down to him.]
Thaddeus: Sirs, today is a sad day. Today we have no come to celebrate, but to mourn. We mourn the passing of a true friend and a great man, Reginald J. Mendel. When Reg and I began our race around the world, we did not do so as friends. At the time, I believed Reg a devious scoundrel, equating his whole family to coloreds in white skin. But over the course of our race, in one hair situation after another, I learned that I was wrong in my belies and Reg Mendel was, in fact, the bravest man I've ever known. Reg Mendel did not act out of personal gain, he sacrificed himself to stop an evil plan by a no good jerry palooka who was up to shenanigans!
Ruby, ruby, ruby, ruby
Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya
Know what ya doing, doing to me?
Ruby, ruby, ruby, ruby
[Thaddeus is interrupted by "Ruby" by The Kaiser Chiefs.]
Wilden: Oh what the hell is this? Isn't this whole situation already enough?
Hart: Maybe its someone coming to share Reg experiences!
[To Thaddeus' shock, THE KAISER, steps out from behind the entrance ramp]
Hart: It's The Kaiser! That no good palooka is here!
Wilden: I give up. I'm done.
Hart: What?!
Wilden: I can't take any more of this. I'm out.
[Lance throws off his headset, gets up from the booth and walks away. He crosses paths with The Kaiser and just throws up his arms in frustration. The Kaiser climbs into the ring.]
Hart: Lance! Come back! I can't do this by myself!
Thaddeus: You've got a lot of nerve showing your face around here, mack!
Kaiser: It seems to me, Herr Valker, that your friend died in vain! It seems to me, Herr Valker, that you were not as victorious as you thought! Give me what I want, Thaddeus!
Thaddeus: Reg Mendel was willing to die for it, and so am I!
Kaiser: So be it! Prepare to be vanquished!
Thaddeus: You first, ethel!
[Cut deep by Thaddeus' insult, The Kaiser bounces off the ropes and sends him down with a big clothesline!]
Hart: I guess we have an unplanned... unplanned? Impromptu match here between Thaddeus and The Kaiser! The Kaiser just sent Thaddeus down with one of those arm tackles!
[The Kaiser goes for a haymaker, but Thaddeus ducks it. The Kaiser turns and Thaddeus sends him down with a dropkick!]
Hart: Thaddeus with a flying kick! [sighs] I miss Lance!
[Thaddeus makes a plane motion with his arms, signaling the crowd.]
Hart: Here it comes!
[The Kaiser gets to his feet, Thaddeus pulls him across his shoulders in an aeroplane spin]
Hart: The Kaiser is taking a ride on the spruce goose!
[Thaddeus drops The Kaiser hard onto the mat. Thaddeus goes to bounce off the ropes with the Gentleman's elbow, but The Kaiser rolls out of the way. Thaddeus avoids hitting the mat, landing on his backside. He gets to his feet, The Kaiser gives him a hard chop to the chest, which sends Thaddeus almost flying across the ring. The Kaiser chops Thaddeus again, seemingly with tremendous force, and another chop sends Thaddeus down. The Kaiser pulls off his glove to reveal A METAL HAND!]
Hart: Oh no! Could this be the end of Thaddeus?!
[The Kaiser begins to chop away at Thaddeus hard with his metal hand.]
Hart: I don't know how much more of this Thaddeus could take! We may need to have a second funeral! This is horrible! Come back, Lance!
[Thaddeus grabs at The Kaiser in desperation, ripping the front of his uniform shirt off to reveal a metal torso! Thaddeus delivers a big punch to the metal torso, then pulls back his hand in pain. Suddenly, REG MENDEL steps out from behind the entrance curtain, carrying the US title.]
Hart: It's REG! Reg Mendel is alive!!!
[Reg Mendel runs down the entrance ramp and slides into the ring. The Kaiser turns around and Reg slams the US title into his face. The lights in the arena go out. There's a flash and then an explosion of sparks in the ring. The lights go back on and the smoke clears to reveal that Reg and Thaddeus are alone in the ring, The Kaiser is nowhere to be seen.]
Hart: They did it! The Kaiser's been destroyed!
[Thaddeus gets to his feet and looks at Reg wide eyed, as if he's looking at a ghost.]
Thaddeus: Reg, you're alive! But.. but how? We blew that Zeppelin to kingdom come!
[Suddenly, the big screen comes to life, bringing us back to the Zeppelin from a week ago. Reg, who's face is covered in soot from the fireball that nearly took his life, sits up, wide eyed. He pats himself down to make sure everything is still intact before standing back up.]
Reg: Now how the hell am I gonna get out of here... Think Big R, think!
[Reg starts looking around the room, when he suddenly notices that his arm is on fire! He tries to put the flames out by slapping his arm, but they're starting to spread!]
Reg: God Damnit!!!
[Reg takes his jacket off and throws it on the ground quickly before laying a few stomps into it. He then picks his phone out of his pocket and dials a few numbers.]
Reg: Afpar! Where the hell are you?!?!
Voice: Behind you, sir!
[Reg spins around and clutches his chest in shock.]
Reg: Never do that again! You almost gave me a damn heart attack!
Afpar: Sorry, but there's no time to talk!
[Afpar throws Reg a parachute.]
Afpar: Come Mendel! We must escape!
[Reg puts the parachute on.]
Reg: You didn't have to tell me twice! This kraut candle is about to light up!
[Reg and Afpar make a bee line to the door of the Zeppelin that Ponce DeLeon was tossed from. Reg jumps first, followed by Afpar. The Zeppelin explodes in the skies above them as Reg deploys his chute. The cloth unfolds to reveal the American Flag with the middle finger in the middle. The scene cuts back to the ring.]
Thaddeus: What a harrowing tale!
Reg: I almost bought the big one, but I'm here. And I believe this belongs to you.
[He holds out the US Title, Thaddeus looks at it hesitantly]
Thaddeus: But Reg!
Reg: Take it. You won the Race Around The World, after all!
[Thaddeus reaches out and takes the US title. The two shake hands, then Reg raises Thaddeus' arm. The Maple Leaf Rag begins to play as the two celebrate.]
Hart: Reg is alive! Thaddeus is once again US Champ! All is right with the universe! We’re going to a commercial break – hopefully Lance will be back to celebrate this momentous occasion with me after this!
Another Failure
[A darkened room is the perception of the viewer. Through that darkness, a gleaming emblem of religion stands in the center, hovering above, always judgmental. A shadow is seen due to the strangely lit external atmosphere, enveloping the mind of the viewer. But all knows who this is. A flash of metal is seen around his leg as he contorts his body in prayer, and begins to speak]
Roman: Bless me father, for I have sinned again. My sins run rampant; I have failed thee, O Lord. Twice I have fallen against the evils of this world, twice I have thus picked myself up again.
[Deeply in thought, his head twists backwards, almost immediately as if there was an explosion of understanding]
Roman: I have been charged with the task of the destruction of OMEGA; myself alone must complete Your Will. But it is impossible for me to understand the glory of Your Words. There has only been another that has risen a third and final time – I am too weak to be a replica of that other.
[He leans forward, his head drooping as light now shines into the room, illuminating his scarred face and tattooed body]
Roman: Thy will be done. Failure is no longer an option my Lord. It shall not happen again.
[Christian tugs on the cilice around his leg, eliciting a drop of blood that trickles down his leg as the camera fades to a commercial]
Commercial Break
We Must Feel the Force
[Ethan Long walks into the lockeroom. Drake Browne sits, dejected. Long throws down his PVC pipe sword.]
Brown: No luck either?
Long: Nope.
Browne: Great. This is the Kobayashi Maru for us, then.
Long: Well, if you remember... the Kobayashi Maru WAS beaten a few times.
Browne: But this... this is hopeless! Maybe if we were Super Saiyans!
Long: Well, we just need to trust the force.
Browne: The force doesn't have anything to do with Super Saiyans!
Long: It does in my latest fanfic!
Browne: Is that the one where Goku rapes Susan B. Anthony?
Long: Exactly! But if Omega strikes us down, we will become more powerful than they can possibly imagine. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you!
Browne: Alright, so let's try.
Long: No! Try not! Do... or do not! There is no try!
[Long stands up in excitement, knocking over his chair as the camera fades back to ringside]
Wilden: Despite having no luck tonight, the Nerds with Attitude have seemingly gathered enough courage to now step into the ring against OMEGA!
Hart: Glad you could join us now, Lance!
Wilden: Bah – and before the break folks, we saw Christian Roman’s grand hopes of taking down the steadily powerful OMEGA, who with a win over the Nerds with Attitude tonight, would cement themselves as another formidable tag team!
Hart: They already are one, Lance – they were tag team champions until Will of a Warrior, lest you forget!
Wilden: I never will, Robbie – you always seem to remind me! But let’s head on down to the ring right now, where OMEGA and the Nerds with Attitude are set to square off!
OMEGA Vs. Nerds with Attitude
Donna Dixon: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at a total combined weight of 410 pounds, the Nerds With Attitudes!
[Metallica's Imperial March plays as the NWA make their way down to the ring.]
Wilden: Here come the NWA coming off a loss at Dangerous Engagement, despite showing some great teamwork.
Hart: They were never pinned, Lance.
Wilden: That's true, but they still didn't win
Donna Dixon: And their opponents representing Omega and being accompanied to the ring by Muru... Heretic and Notorious JON!
"AAAAAAHHHH....."
SPLASH!
[The most epic entrance video ever plays and "Search and Destroy" by Iggy Pop begins to play as Notorious JON and Heretic step out from behind the entrance curtain with their arms raised. JON holds a black T-shirt in his hand. Heretic is limping. The crowd boos loudly as they quickly drops his arms, prompting a flurry of pyrotechnics on either side of the ramp as he quickly walks to the ring. Following behind him is Muru who is still wearing an extra small Omega t-shirt. Jon climbs up on the apron as Muru slides in under the bottom rope. Jon puts his back against the ropes and raises his arm again, prompting another round of boos. the boos. Inside of the ring Muru raises his arms to the crowd and it met with a chorus of cheers. Jon hearing this quickly enters the ring and pulls Muru's arms down]
Notorious Jon: I didn't give you permission to play to the crowd. I own you!
[Jon points to Muru to exit the ring and stand on the apron as he climbs the second turnbuckle and soaks in the crowd once again]
Wilden: Does Jon hate Muru so much that he won't even let the fans cheer for him? This is ridiculous!
Hart: They weren't cheering for Muru. Jon was just making sure Muru's feelings weren't hurt when he got no reaction.
[Heretic hands Donna Dixon's microphone to Notorious JON]
Notorious Jon: Heretic, I just wanna take a minute to acknowledge that classic match you had with Roman at Dangerous Engagement. You put everything on the line, and you made me very proud. So, as a reward... you get a NIGHT OFF. MURU, you're in for Heretic!
[The crowd boos. Heretic heads over to the commentators table and puts on a headset.]
Wilden: Well it appears Heretic will be calling this match with us, welcome sir.
Heretic: Hi.
Hart: If Omega loses this match, it's Muru's fault! That little runt isn't worth much, after all he is just Omega's bitch.
Wilden: He's a great competitor in the cWo. The match is about to begin.
[Ding Ding Ding]
Wilden: It looks like it's going to be Notorious JON and Drake Browne starting this one.
[They lock up and Notorious JON pushes Browne back into the corner and delivers a couple chops across the chest.]
Hart: Listen to those chops across the chest of screaming Drake Browne.
Wilden: They are very intense, across the way goes Drake Browne with Notorious Jon following closely. Browne propels himself up and behind Notorious JON. Dropkick sends Jon to fall back into the corner. Browne with a head of steam, and what a Boot to the face by Notorious JON.
Hart: That's what I'm talking about!
Heretic: When the hell did Otaku kids decide they could wrestle? These guys are a disgrace to both nerds AND wrestling.
Wilden: Weren't you a member of their Warcraft game?
Heretic: In my darker days.. when I was dating that whore, whatshername.
Wilden: Jon now lifts Browne and whips him across the ropes, sidewalk slam! The cover.
1...
2...
Wilden: And Long is in the ring to break it up.
[Notorious JON gets up and begins to yell at Muru.]
Heretic: You are supposed to be protecting from that!
Wilden: Notorious JON barking more orders at Muru. While Drake Browne tags in Ethan Long.
[Long runs in and gets in the face of Notorious JON in a Karate Kid pose.]
Hart: Ralph Macchio is in the cWo?
Heretic: Ugh. Way to go for the obvious joke. Wanna bring up Chuck Norris while you're at it?
Hart: I thought it was clever.
Heretic: It wasn't.
Wilden: The move didn't work any better than the joke! Notorious JON just slapped Ethan Long in the face. Long seems upset as Jon delivers a short arm clothesline.
[Jon tags in Muru.]
Notorious JON: Now get in there and do your job.
[Muru gets in and lazily walks over to the down Ethan Long and gives some very light stomps to the chest of Long who just gets up.]
Wilden: It appears Muru has lost his motivation to try.
Hart: HOW!? HE'S IN OMEGA! Lance, when are you going to learn that being a member of Omega is the pinnacle of the business. It's the place everyone wants to be.
Heretic: I told him this was gonna happen.
Wilden: It appears to be an unhappy working environment. Muru has been forced into doing whatever Notorious JON wants for the past few months.
Heretic: He just needs better motivation... more at stake. Omega can make your life, or destroy it.. Muru needs to decide which is gonna happen.
[Long and Muru lock up and Long delivers a knee to the midsection of Muru, who falls to the ground.]
Wilden: And a knee to the midsection sends Muru to the ground. Ethan Long goes for a pin.
Notorious JON: Kick out.
1...
Heretic: Kick out.
2...
Notorious JON: KICK OUT!!!!
Wilden: And Muru slides a shoulder up to break the count.
[Long stands up and heads for the top rope while Muru is standing up. Cross body block onto Muru.]
Hart: I think that Muru is intentionally tanking the match!
Heretic: Hrrmm.
Wilden: I think he's proving a point, Notorious JON is absolutely beside himself on the apron!
Heretic: Let's see if he can keep it under control. I know I could.
Wilden: The cover.
Notorious JON: If you don't kick out, you're going to be doing my laundry!
1...
Wilden: Well that has motivated Muru to kick out with authority after a one count. But he isn't getting to his feet quickly.
Hart: Muru is going to be in lots of trouble, I can't believe what he's doing! This is crazy!
Heretic: I warned him.
Wilden: Wait, is there still tension in Omega?
Heretic: Just because there's a difference of opinion doesn't mean there has to be tension. I'm a dedicated member of Omega.. I just think our leader has the ability to be a dirty heebasaurus every once in a while!
Hart: Speaking of dirty.... did you shower this week?
Heretic: Eh. I'll get around to it.
Wilden: Ethan Long lifts up Muru and kicks him in the midsection.
[Long runs towards Notorious JON's side of the ring. Jon pulls the top rope down as Long bounces off and flips to the outside of the ring.]
Hart: That's right, if Muru isn't going to do it, then he'll have to.
Wilden: Jon now hops off the apron to the outside.
[Jon grabs Long and throws him into the steel steps and rolls into the ring and leans back in the corner.]
Notorious JON: Get over here!
Wilden: Muru's in trouble, he probably feels like he's being called into the principals office.
Hart: Muru didn't go to school, he doesn't know what a principal is.
Notorious JON: What's the problem?
Muru: ....I....I....
[Jon slaps Muru.]
Notorious JON: Snap out of it and win this match.
Muru: Ugh... FINE!
Notorious JON: Don't you ever raise your voice to me!
Heretic: Good. FINALLY some discipline.
Wilden: That was unneccisary! Surely you can't justify that behavior?
Heretic: Why not?
[Ethan Long rolls under the ring. Heretic signals to Notorious JON where Long went.]
Wilden: I guess this is three on one, Heretic?
Heretic: We do what we have to.
Hart: That's right, don't EVER question Omega, Lance.
Wilden: Well JON just tagged himself in and is on his way to wait for Long.
[Long slides out from under the ring on the other side and is staring face to face with Notorious JON.]
Notorious JON: Surprise!
Wilden: Long looks very surprised to see Jon and begins to run! Notorious JON chases him.
Hart: Jon has to be the fastest human alive.
Heretic: You got some brown on your nose, Robbie.
[Long slides in the ring and tags in Browne.]
Wilden: Drake Browne now in the ring and is stomping Notorious JON before he can get to his feet.
Hart: Well those stomps didn't do much, Jon is back to his feet and staring down Drake Browne. I smell something, I think someone better check is drawers.
Wilden: Browne with a right hand, blocked by Jon.
[Jon chops the neck of Browne, slaps him in the face, then a backhand across the face, and ends it with a double axehandle smash across the back of Browne sending him to the ground.]
Hart: That's the Kirk Combo! He's using Browne's hobby against him!
Heretic: Wait.. that's what it's from? Ugh.
Wilden: Not a Star Trek fan?
Heretic: Star what?
Notorious JON: Are you ready to finish this off?
[Muru nods and is tagged in by Jon.]
Wilden: Muru is back in, let's see if he's ready to go now.
Hart: He better be.
[Muru walks over to Browne lifts him up and bounces off the ropes and goes for a dropkick and misses by 3 feet.]
Heretic: This guy better be joking.
Wilden: Browne grabs Muru and whips him across the ring. Muru comes back with a flying clotheslines but falls short by a few feet.
Heretic: Christ! Enough is enough!
Hart: Hell yeah, teach him a lesson!
[Notorious JON pulls Muru up to his feet and screams at him]
Notorious JON: What the hell are you doing!?
[Heretic tosses his headset, Notorious JON recognizes his cue and grabs the ref and faces him away from the action and begins yelling.]
Wilden: Heretic just ripped Ethan Long off the apron and delivered the Redemption on the outside!
Hart: Teamwork! Teamwork from a UNITED Omega!
Wilden: Heretic didn't have tons of nice things to say about his leader, Robbie!
Hart: They're UNITED, OK?!!
Wilden: Heretic is now in the ring behind, Browne. Oh no! Redemption on Browne! Muru doesn't know what to do, he's standing in disbelief!
Hart: He better pin him!
[Heretic leaves the ring and Jon lets go of the ref.]
Notorious JON: COVER HIM!
Wilden: Muru is hesitating.
Notorious JON: I SAID FINISH THIS NOW!
Wilden: Muru now slowly gets on top of Browne.
1...
2...
3...
Dixon: And here is your winners, OMEGA!!!
Wilden: Well Omega wins via the help of Heretic.
Hart: They can do whatever they want, it was 100% clean. Omega rules, remember!
Wilden: Oh please!
Wilden: Folks – we’re going to head to our final commercial break of the evening – but let me tell you right now, as soon as you get back here – we have our immense World Title match ready to get underway – in fact, they’ll be hitting the ring in just a few minutes! Stay tuned!
Commercial Break
Wilden: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back! It's been a great show so far, and thanks to Fiasco it's only gonna get better.
Hart: Only depending on how it ends!
Wilden: I am hoping we get a good show regardless, Robbie.
Hart: Well when you think you're safe that's when they get ya, I'm on edge!
cWo World Title Match
Johnny Serious Vs. Chazz Mendel Vs. Nick Dangerous ©
Donna Dixon: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest will be tonight's main event, which is for the cWo World Championship, and is scheduled for one fall!
Hart: Oh my gosh.
[The lights go our as the Voice of Johnny Serious comes over the sound system and says "Are You SERIOUS." An orange light turns on in the arena as the song "You Can't Be Serious" by Classified plays.]
Donna Dixon: Introducing first, he weighs in at two hundred and forty five pounds, hailing from Hollywood, California! Johnny Seeeeeriouuuus!
[Johnny Serious makes his way out to the ring]
Hart: Hey, no ring rat this time.
Wilden: No ring rat? Evette is no ring rat.
Hart: Well then she's useless anyways!
Wilden: You know, we're in store for a HUGE triple threat championship rematch, and all you're looking for are "ring rats."
Hart: Johnny Serious is in the match, I prefer to think of other things.
[Serious takes his place in the ring, as Tiger The Lion by The Tragically Hip starts playing over the PA. The voice of Gord Downie croons over the music.]
"This Is Tiger The Lion."
"Give me the knuckles of Frisco."
"If there's danger in the language, Gentlemen."
"I suggest no further use of the two-way radio."
[The song kicks in and Chazz comes walking out onto the stage wearing his cape and crown. Chazz raises his arms to the people, and he's recieved with a flurry of boos from the crowd. Chazz merely scoffs as he makes his way down the aisle to the ring.]
Donna Dixon: And the next challenger, weighing in at two hundred and twelve pounds, hailing from Vancouver, British Columbia, he is the Villain of the Year, and winner of the Path of Kings tournament, Chaaaaaazz Mendeeeeeeellllll!!
[The fans boo as Chazz makes his way down the ring.]
Hart: You see my negative attitude about this match stems from Andrew Fiasco.
Wilden: Why's that?
Hart: Chazz should NOT have had to fight that hard to get place in this match.
Wilden: Well to put things in perspective, Chazz didn't win the triple threat, and Serious lost the title in a singles match.
Hart: So what?
Wilden: You could put it this way, Chazz lost his shot, Chazz is the only man of the three who hasn't held the title, just like Serious said himself!
Hart: So what makes Serious more eligible? Chazz is the only one who hadn't gotten pinned last week!
Wilden: Touche.
Hart: Yeah!
[Chazz takes his spot in the ring as he stares right through Johnny Serious, as Serious treats him the same. When Fanfare for the Common Man hits the sound system. The fans start to boo the trumpets which open the song as they know who to expect. After the introduction, we see Nick Dangerous coming out from the entrance area, sporting a green robe with a yellow tribal pattern, and a headdress with a skull coming out of the front. John Pilchard and Jack Union both come out and follow Nick applauding Nick looks generally frustrated with the situation all together.]
Donna Dixon: And the Champion, being accompanied to the ring by....by...
Hart: Yeah yeah, get on with it!
Wilden: Wait, there's a disruption at the stage area.
[Cameras see Nick arguing with Andrew Fiasco, as security pulls John Pilchard and Jack Union from the stage area to the backstage, as Fiasco walks away from Nick Dangerous who seems to have a lot on his mind. Cameras see Serious laughing at him as Nick even more angrily storms down to the ring, holding his title in the air for the fans to see.]
Hart: Fiasco needs to get his act together, he wouldn't be half the pile of crap he is now if Johnny Serious was champion.
Wilden: Probably because Johnny Serious wouldn't have to have his hand held to properly defend a title!
Hart: That's a low blow Lance! You have no idea what you're talking about!
Wilden: I'm at a disadvantage in this debate Robbie, seeing as I'm the one at the table who actually watches the matches with his eyes open.
Hart: My eyes are always open when Chazz and Dangerous are in the ring!
Wilden: Right.
Donna Dixon: Now in the ring, weighing in at two hundred and forty five pounds, he hails from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. He is the current cWo World Heavyweight Champion, "The" Nick Daaaaangerouuuuus!
[Nick begins taking off his entrance attire and championship belt as he prepares for the match.]
Wilden: Nick can stall all he wants, because I just got word that the good men at the Versus network are gonna let us air the rest of our program uninterrupted, commercial free, and we get all the time we need to take this HUGE main event home, so those of you watching can view this match in its entirety.
Hart: Think I can leave work early to watch?
Wilden: You're already here!
Hart: Yeah but I wanna watch the uninterrupted version, which I assume has less of you talking!
Wilden: It's my job to call the action!
DING DING DING
Wilden: And the action is just about getting started!
[The fans erupt as Chazz Mendel, Nick Dangerous and Johnny Serious all stare each other down.]
Hart: I got the jitters Lance!
Wilden: Do you really?
Hart: I've been thinking about this since that jerk Fiasco put this sham all together.
Wilden: Sham? Look at the fans, they don't look too unhappy about Fiasco's decision.
Hart: Yeah because they haven't thought about it, let me see what you think about this statistic.
Wilden: Let me hear it.
Hart: In this match we have three possibilities, Nick could walk home champion, that's good, Chazz could walk home new champion, that's good, Johnny Serious! Could walk home champion.
Wilden: Okay...
Hart: That's bad.
Wilden: Alright.
Hart: I have a thirty three point thirty three chance of being disappointed tonight!
Wilden: Hmm..
Hart: That's BAD.
Wilden: Well at any rate we're about to get this show on the road here as these competitors are staring bullets through one another.
[Nick takes the initiative as he powerfully walks towards Johnny Serious, Serious and Chazz follow suit as the three clash in the middle.]
Wilden: And the three are wasting little ti-no, there goes Nick.
[Nick backs off at the last second as Serious and Mendel meet in a collar and elbow tie up.]
Wilden: Chazz and Serious getting things started.
[Chazz and Serious intensely grapple one another as Nick stands at the side in support of Chazz, as Serious and Chazz spiral around the ring Nick gets a little nervous as he tries to sidestep out of their way.]
Wilden: The two are getting out of control, not even Nick is able to run away from them!
Hart: What're you implying there Lance?
[Nick backs off from the two as fast as they can but seems to be tripping over himself trying.]
Hart: Nick's just waiting his turn. That's all.
[Nick gets backed into a corner as Serious pushes Chazz back first into him, as the referee counts for a rope break.]
Wilden: Nick has nowhere to go, he's in an awkward position here.
[Serious raises his arms, complying to the referees demands, but not before slapping Nick Dangerous in the face.]
Wilden: Whoa!
Hart: Out of line!
Wilden: Serious making it clear who he has his eyes on in this match.
[Nick turns the other cheek from Johnny as he's left with a bitter taste in his mouth. He soon becomes fuming as he charges Johnny with a rush of forearms.]
Hart: Now we're talkin'!
[Nick has Serious backed against the ropes as he turns his head to Chazz and shouts "GET OVER HERE!" as he presses against Serious' shoulder and goes for an irish whip.]
Wilden: Johnny Serious reverses the whip! Mendel not to keen on helping Nick out!
[Nick hits the ropes.]
Wilden: Hiptoss to the Champ!
[Nick gets up and charges Serious again.]
Wilden: Another hiptoss!
[Nick gets up again, and charges Serious.]
Wilden: Serious sidesteps Nick this time!
[After dodging a running sledgehammer from Nick Dangerous, it is then Chazz Mendel who hiptosses Nick to the mat.]
Wilden: Chazz getting himself back into the mix!
[Nick starts to feel it now as he nurses his wound, when Chazz then charges Serious.]
Wilden: Serious with a hiptoss to Chazz Mendel this time! Everyone's on edge in this match!
[Chazz gets up and Serious goes for another hiptoss.]
Wilden: Hiptoss...no, reversed! Chazz going for a hiptoss of his own..but not quite! Serious isn't going anywhere!
Hart: Get 'im Chazz! Put your back into it!
[Chazz smacks Serious in the stomache, causing him to double over, as Chazz puts his right leg over Serious' head, Serious jerks his head back up causing Chazz to flip backwards, Serious meets him as he lands back to his feet, and whips him against the ropes.]
Wilden: Chazz with a crossbody! But it isn't enough, Serious caught him in mid air!
Hart: No!
[Serious spins around in circles, as he stops with a recovering Nick Dangerous at his backside.]
Wilden: Serious with a SERIOUS Slam!
[Serious hits his trademark fallaway slam, sending Chazz flying with a cross body of sorts to Nick Dangerous.]
Wilden: Into Nick Dangerous!
Hart: What a maroon! Chazz is pinning Dangerous now!
ONE
Wilden: Not over yet! Kickout by Nick Dangerous!
[Nick gets up quickly and pushes Chazz aside to the ring apron, looking to Serious as he shouts "what're you, an idiot?" As he promptly pushes the challenger aggressively, Serious responds with a quick slap to the face.]
Wilden: Whoa!
Hart: That's no way to treat a champion!
[Nick then knife edge chops Serious.]
Wilden: Oooohh!
[Serious begins rushing Nick with forearms as Nick returns the favour.]
Hart: Hockey fight! Hockey fight!
Wilden: It was only a matter of time until personal conflicts took over the match.
[The two slug each other back and forth, but stop when we see Chazz Mendel leapfrogging off the top rope.]
Wilden: Hold on a second! Wow! Chazz Mendel with a crisp springboard double clothesline two Serious and Dangerous!
[The impact of the clothesline send Nick and Serious sliding under the bottom rope to the outside of the ring.]
Wilden: And now we're in no man's land, Robbie.
Hart: What?
Wilden: The action has spilled to the outside of the ring, and that could only mean that this is about to get ugly.
Hart: Shhh, you'll jinx it!
[Nick and Serious both get to their feet, as Nick tries rolling back into the ring.]
Wilden: Nick wants back in the ring, but I think Serious is starting to feel more comfortable on the outside.
[Serious with a grab of Nick's tights struggles to get Nick outside of the ring, until Nick out of frustration steps outside, as the two start dishing out closed fisted punches this time back and forth.]
Wilden: I think it's safe to say this match has escalated into a fight.
Hart: It's about time!
[Not keen on being left out, Chazz hits the opposite ropes and charges both opponents.]
Wilden: Uh oh...uh oh! LOOKOUT!
[Suddenly we hear a muffling of the commentator's headsets as the fans go crazy at the sight of Chazz Mendel's suicide dive gone bad, as Nick and Johnny sidestep the dive, and assist in tossing Chazz onto the table and sliding past onto the concrete floor. Meanwhile, Serious approaches Nick as Nick attempts to back away from him.]
Wilden: Sorry about that ladies and gentlemen but if we didn't high tail it I wouldn't even be talking to you right now.
Hart: You're telling me!
[Nick goes for a rake of the eyes, but Johnny slaps Nick's hands away before he can do anything.]
Wilden: Serious is fully aware of every trick in Nick's book.
Hart: The moment he believes that is the second Nick changes the whole spectrum of the match.
[Serious then counters with a rake of the eyes to Nick of his own.]
Wilden: Now he's fighting fire with fire!
[Nick, blinded, walks away from Johnny as Johnny continues his pursuit.]
Wilden: Serious with a hand full of hair, and Nick with a face full of guard rail!
[Nick reeling after that smack against the steel guard rail, leans backwards into the railing, as he looks stunned.]
Wilden: Serious letting out a week of frustration on Nick Dangerous now with lefts and rights!
[Serious, right up to Dangerous unleashes a barrage of left and right punches to Nick's face, as Nick begins to see stars.]
Wilden: Serious really making it known that Nick wouldn't be in this mess if he just took his loss.
Hart: Are you serious Lance? What champion would do that? You're just pissed off because Serious wishes he could be one ounce as smart as our Champion!
[Nick struggles to rise to his feet, as Serious finishes his assault with a clothesline over the guard rail to the concrete outside.]
Wilden: This match is just making it's way further and further from the ring! How is it gonna end?
[Fans rabidly support Johnny Serious as Nick Dangerous crawls his way away from Serious.]
Wilden: Nick is starting to look like a victim in a horror movie, he doesn't look like he has much time left on the lifeline!
Hart: In your dreams pal!
[Serioius climbs the top of the guard rail as he looks to his supporters cheering him on, as he raises his arms, preparing for a double axe handle.]
Wilden: Serious jumps!
[Before he completes the move, Nick Dangerous pushes a fan out of a chair and smashes it against Serious' face.]
Wilden: No!
Hart: Serious' fans are costing him!
Wilden: Serious might have gotten a little cocky there. In a match of this caliber you don't wanna take anyone lightly.
[Nick begins crawling to make it back within the guard rail. As he struggles to climb over it, he's blindsided by a running dropkick to the head from Chazz Mendel.]
Wilden: Chazz is back in the match! I never would have thought after his suicide dive!
Hart: He's the King for a reason baby!
[Nick's body leans limp over the guard rail as he's running out of energy, Chazz raises his head as he adds to the damage done with repeated knee lifts to the head.]
Wilden: This match could be over before we know it.
[Chazz positions Nick so his chest leans on the top of the guard rail, with his head face down, as Chazz climbs the apron.]
Wilden: What's he gonna do?........Whoa!
[After leaping off the apron, Chazz smacks Nick in the back of the head with a leaping double stomp.]
Hart: Come on Chazz, let's not get TOO brutal here!
Wilden: That could be it for our World Champion.
Hart: That's what I'm afraid of.
[Chazz struggles to get Nick Dangerous to his feet, who looks at this point like he has no idea where he is.]
Hart: Oh Nick looks in a bad way.
[Chazz rolls Nick into the ring.]
Wilden: Chazz doing what's smart here, this could be over!
[Chazz pins Nick as soon as possible.]
ONE
TWO
Wilden: Kickout? Wow, Chazz doesn't look pleased.
Hart: Duh.
[Chazz rolls Nick over, and tries bringing him to his feet in a front face lock position.]
Wilden: Chazz seems focused on Nick's head, which is a dangerous strategy, no pun intended, a kind of tactic that could take a few years off of a professional wrestlers career.
[Halfway to his feet Nick shows some resistance as he pushes Chazz away with one arm, but the resistance only frustrates Chazz further as he locks Nick's head in a cravate and begins hits it with knees.]
Wilden: This kind of offense could lead to serious concussions.
Hart: No! I've always wanted Chazz to become a champion, but not like this!
[Nick crumbles down to one knee as he has a slack jawed expression on his face, looking incapable of making any kind of offense Chazz finishes him off with a jumping enziguri.]
Wilden: That enziguri is the cherry on top for Chazz Mendel's possible championship victory!
[Chazz takes Nick to the center of the ring and pins him.]
ONE
TWO
Wilden: Serious with the save!
[Serious hammers away on Chazz's back as Chazz rises slowly to his feet delivering rights and lefts to the ribs of Serious.]
Hart: Not a moment too soon.
[As Chazz gets to his feet, Serious hoists him in the air, trying to force him into the corner, but before he brings him all the way, Chazz flips over for a sunset flip.]
Wilden: Sunset flip pin!
ONE
TWO
[Serious kicks out and snaps Chazz into a jacknife pin.]
Wilden: Serious shifts gears!
ONE
TWO
[Chazz kicks out and surprises Johnny with a small package pin.]
Hart: Oohh!
ONE
TWO
[Serious tilts the momentum of the small package into a small package pin of his own.]
Hart: No no no no no-
ONE
TWO
Hart: Kickout! Good..
Wilden: What a contest thus far!
[Serious and Chazz get up, but Serious quickly brings Chazz down with a double leg takedown, keeping a hold of Chazz's legs.]
Wilden: What's Serious got in mind, looks like it's gonna be a slingshot!
[Serious throws Chazz up for a slingshot into the turnbuckle, but Chazz leaps to the second rope, and jumps backwards as Serious recovers with a back elbow, but Serious sidesteps and slams Chazz down.]
Wilden: Serious has Mendel by the legs...and...Bad Investment! Bad Investment! Serious is going for the elevated boston crab! Chazz has a wide eyed look of surprise on his face, he has a bad feeling about this!
Hart: So do I!
[Mendel tucks his head in and somersaults forward, sending Serious against the ropes, as Serious comes back he locks in Chazz's ankle for an ankle lock.]
Wilden: Ankle lock! Ankle lock! Hadn't seen Serious do that one before!
Hart: So it should be easy for Chazz to get out of it!
[In a vast amount of pain Chazz thinks quick to get out of the hold, as he leaps to one foot, and then leaps in the air, managing to get both legs under Serious' armpits to roll him forward for a pin.]
Wilden: What a reversal!
ONE
TWO
Wilden: Kickout!
[Serious tries to take advantage of the kickout by pinning Chazz's shoulders to the mat with another jacknife pin, but Chazz quickly locks Serious in a triangle choke.]
Wilden: Chazz with a triangle choke! Triangle choke! He may have got off to a bad start but I have to admit Chazz is kicking some butt right now!
Hart: No kidding, he's a Mendel, one of the remaining Mendels, he's been raised to be the best at whatever it is he wants to do, and what he wants to do right now is wrestle, so you bet your ass he's gonna do it better than anyone else.
Wilden: Even Nick Dangerous?
Hart: Better than Johnny Serious that's for sure!
Wilden: What's important right now is that Serious is in a really bad position right now, in a triple threat match it's always most humiliating to be the direct loser.
Hart: Serious already knows what that feels like, hahah.
Wilden: Serious won the last triple threat match he was in.
Hart: Not the match I was watching! You know what's REALLY important is that one of our best champions might be taken from his throne without even actually losing!
Wilden: That's true Robbie.
Hart: Ugh! I can't watch! I wish there could be two winners.
Wilden: Well the sad fact Robbie is there can only be one World Heavyweight Champion, and it might be Chazz Mendel pretty soon!
[Suddenly with all his might, Johnny hoists Chazz in the air.]
Wilden: Wait a minute, my god! Where is he getting this from?
[Chazz is lifted over Serious' shoulders as Serious slams him down with a powerbomb.]
Wilden: What a powerbomb!
[Chazz releases the hold, as Serious hoists Chazz up from the ground for another powerbomb.]
Wilden: Serious going for a SECOND!
[As Serious has Chazz over his shoulders, a recovered Nick Dangerous leaps towards Serious.]
Wilden: Nick is back in!
Hart: And what a move!
Wilden: Lou Thesz press from Nick Dangerous!
[The Thesz Press causes Serious to fall back with Chazz falling on top of Serious' chest, Nick pushes on Chazz's back, pushing him off of Serious as Nick pins Johnny on his own.]
Wilden: And a pin!
ONE
TWO
Wilden: Kickout!
Hart: Damn!
Wilden: Really opportunistic move by Nick Dangerous, great way to exhaust Serious down to Nick's level after the beating he's taken.
[Nick then goes to pick Serious up, and helps wake him up with a hard knife edge chop.]
Hart: Ooohhh, you hear that?
Wilden: I think that woke up all of China!
[Nick pulls Serious in place again and goes for another knife edge chop.]
Hart: Wow.
[Nick pulls Serious in towards him again, and this time hits a european uppercut that sends him backfirst into the turnbuckle.]
Hart: You see how much a pro Nick is? Any rookie would try to drag his opponent to where he wants to go, but Nick just beats the crap out of his opponent until he falls into place on his own, maintaining the fact that Serious remains in serious pain the whole way through!
[Nick then tries to lift Serious up to the top rope, but Serious clutches the top rope so as Nick can't lift him.]
Wilden: Well no matter how much he has control now, Serious doesn't wanna go to that top rope.
[To ease off the resistance, Nick delivers another winding european uppercut.]
Hart: Well the more he resists the more of THAT he's gonna get!
Wilden: True. You just gotta go with the lesser of two evils.
[Nick turns Serious around and begins hammering away at the back of his neck, until he tries once again to lift him to the top rope.]
Wilden: Serious intent on staying grounded in this match.
[Nick shifts gears as he goes to the apron, and quickly grabs Serious' left and right hands, pulling his chest into the turnbuckle as Nick screams Chazz's name.]
Hart: Ahh, you see this? They're gonna beat Serious senseless now!
[Chazz comes to his senses as he sees Serious in a bad spot, he quickly climbs on Serious' back and delivers right forearm smashes to Serious' head.]
Hart: I was wondering when these two would come to terms and single out Serious, my thirty three point thirty three chance of disappointment could greatly decrease after this!
[Chazz runs to the opposite corner, and comes back with a hard Stinger Splash, as Serious begins to show signs of weakness.]
Wilden: Serious is losing it now.
[Serious begins running against the ropes towards Serious' left shoulder, and comes back hitting a 619 to the side of Nick Dangerous, sending him leaping off the apron, collapsing on the mat.]
Hart: COME ON GUYS! You were supposed to be a team!
Wilden: That's not true at all!
[Chazz goes into the ring and finishes what Nick started, lifting Serious to a sitting position on the top rope, facing outside, as Chazz climbs after.]
Wilden: Looks like we're in store for something huge, something's got to give here, I don't know how much more these guys have left.
[Chazz raises the stakes as he stands on the top rope with Serious, prepping for a super back suplex.]
Wilden: Robbie do you have any idea how crazy Chazz is?
Hart: I think even Chazz knows, which is the scary thing.
[Chazz is cut short by Nick Dangerous, who recovers in time to slap Serious and Chazz's legs, causing them both to fall in a sitting position on the top rope, landing on their you know what.]
Hart: OOOohhhhh!!!....Eeeeewwww!
[Chazz faulters back into a tree of woe position as Serious sits on the top rope in pain, as Nick gradually comes into the ring. Nick cuts his thumb to his throat to symbolize a big move coming up, as he climbs up after Serious, standing on the second rope, with his feet beside an upside-down Chazz Mendel. Nick stands Serious up as he wraps his arms around his waist.]
Wilden: A top rope German Suplex? No way!
[Serious resists, as much as he can, but looks as though he's fighting a losing battle.]
Wilden: There is no way out for Serious here, he's just gotta hold on to that top rope for dear life.]
[Suddenly Chazz sits up from the tree of woe position and wraps his arms around Nick's waist, german suplexing him from the second rope, who drags Serious down for a german suplex of his own.]
Wilden: MY GOD! WHAT A MOVE! Chazz just hit a spider german suplex on Nick Dangerous, giving Nick the momentum he needed to german suplex Serious off the top rope!
Hart: That was incredible!
[The fans go wild as Chazz hangs upside down, exhausted, while Nick and Serious seem out for good.]
Hart: They're gonna be down for the count!
Wilden: There's no knock outs in a triple threat match Robbie!
Wilden: Good! Good!
[Chazz is too exhausted to help himself out of the tree of woe as he reaches his arms out towards his opponents.]
Wilden: Boy does Chazz wish he could free himself to get a pin, he'd be garaunteed victory at this point.
Hart: He could rest upside down for a whole day and I'm sure he'd be able to get that pin tomorrow, I'm surprised we don't have EMTs rushing out for Serious right now!
[Nick shows signs of life as Chazz begins to get really worried.]
Hart: Pin him Nick! Pin him!
[Nick slowly crawls as Chazz screams at the referee to help pull his leg out from it's clutch between the top and middle rope.]
Hart: He's on him!
[Nick lays his chin on Serious' chest for the pin.]
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TWO
Wilden: KICKOUT! KICKOUT! KICKOUT! HE KICKED OUT!
Hart: OKAY! We GET IT! Jeesh!
Wilden: Admit it Robbie, you can't believe it!
Hart: He's just prolonging the inevitable.
[Meanwhile Chazz lifts himself up enough to break out from the tree of woe as he collapses to the mat.]
Wilden: This might actually come down between Chazz and Nick Robbie.
Hart: Thank God!
[Nick picks up Serious by the legs as he then sluggishly, yet without any fight, hooks him in a Reality Check.]
Hart: Reality Check! Reality Check! It's over!
Wilden: I don't even know if Serious has it in him to tap out.
[Slowly rolling over to the scene, Chazz mounts Serious and puts him in a sitting chinlock.]
Hart: Dual champions! Tap out Serious! I want dual champions!
Wilden: That would be ludicrous Robbie!
[Not happy with Chazz stealing Nick's thunder, Nick kicks Chazz in the arm, and pushes him down for a Dangerous Armbar.]
Wilden: Dangerous Armbar to Chazz Mendel!
Hart: NONONONONO!
Wilden: He could tap out right here!
[The fans are chanting Serious as they obviously aren't hip to Nick taking the match.]
Wilden: Come on Serious!
Hart: Come on Chazz! No..Come on Dangerous! No..wait! Can we postpone this match a week? Give me time to think!
Wilden: You gotta pick a favorite now Robbie or it might be too late!
[Serious catches a second wind as he forces himself to his feet, and in a groggy state takes Nick Dangerous by the legs hooks him in a figure four leglock, forcing him out of the Dangerous Armbar.]
Wilden: Figrue four! Figure four!
Hart: Why is he still going! He must have a broken neck!
[Chazz squirms his way to a kneeling position as he shakes the pain out of his arm, he sees Serious take Nick to a point close to tapping as he quickly turns them over, switching the momentum in Nick's favor as Serious screams in agony.]
Hart: So much for his second wind!
[Chazz then begins dropping elbows on Nick Dangerous' back, stopping after four quick elbow drops, as Serious manages to pull out, Chazz rolls Nick up for a Majistral cradle pin.]
Wilden: Pin by Chazz!
ONE
TWO
Hart: Damnit Serious!
[The pin is broken by Serious who is in range to push Chazz off with one arm. In frustration, Chazz gets up and drops a knee on Serious.]
Wilden: Serious may be out of the picture again with that knee drop, but I've made that mistake too many times to know for sure.
[Nick struggles to his feet, as he's met halfway by Chazz with a stern kick to the head.]
Wilden: That'll put him back on dream street!
[Chazz then runs against the opposite ropes, and returns to Nick.]
Wilden: Nick dodges a mafia kick from Mendel!
[Chazz turns around, as Nick hoists him up in a fireman's carry.]
Hart: DANGER DRIVER! DANGER DRIVER! DANGER DRIVER!
Wilden: Not so fast!
[Chazz struggles as he spins the momentum of the slam in his favor and hits a tornado DDT.]
Wilden: REVERSAL! Nick is down and out!
[Chazz groggily makes it to his feet, as he sees a golden opportunity for a high flying move.]
Hart: How could Chazz want to go back to the top rope? After what he's been through?
Wilden: I think Chazz wants to make his championship victory as sweet as it can be.
Hart: Well he has Nick right where he wants him.
Wilden: Serious is still in this!
Hart: Serious is done!
[Chazz gives a thumbs down gesture to his opponents in the ring and the fans watching as he prepares to make a leap.]
Hart: Come on Chazz get it over with!
[Chazz leaps off with a Fated Circle, but Serious moves Nick Dangerous out of the way.]
Hart: I TOLD YOU! THIS IS NOT GOOD! Why does he keep coming back!?
Wilden: He wants it too much! All three of these men want it too much!
Hart: Serious should just quit while he's ahead, even I'm embarassed for him!
Wilden: I think you're afraid he's gonna take the W!
[Serious rolls Chazz over for a pin.]
Hart: No!
ONE
TWO
Hart: Yes! Kickout!
Wilden: I can't believe it!
[Serious shakes off the failed pin as he tries to pin Nick Dangerous.]
Hart: No!
ONE
TWO
Hart: YES!
Wilden: Still not enough!
[Serious slowly brings Nick Dangerous to his feet, as he shouts to the fans "let's get SERIOUS!" as the fans roar in approval.]
Wilden: But this will surely be enough!
[Serious gives Nick the finger, as he then sets him up for Got Serious'd, but Nick resists, as he elbows Serious in the jaw, which stuns Serious, but Serious stays focused as he turns around, throwing a clothesline towards Dangerous, but Dangerous reverses it with a Dangerous Armbar attempt.]
Hart: DANGEROUS ARMBAR! CRANK IT DANGEROUS! CRANK IT!
Wilden: Not yet! Serious is fighting it, fight it man! You've come so far!
[Serious tucks his head in and somersaults out of the hold, making it to his feet, but Nick hits him with a stern kick to the chest.]
Hart: That kick to the chest really sent him packin'!
[Nick runs a half circle backwards, as he braces himself, and charges Johnny Serious.]
Hart: Knock his block off Dangerous...wait!
[Serious moves, which Nick scouts as he stops doing anything before it's too late, but Serious catches him off guard slightly with another Got Serious'd attempt.]
Wilden: Come on Serious! Give it everything you got!
[Nick stuns Serious with a knee lift to avoid the slam, and brings Serious up in a fireman's carry.]
Hart: DANGER DRIVER! DANGER DRIVER!
[Serious shakes out of it, and spins Nick around.]
Wilden: GOT SERIOUS'D!
Hart: WHAAAAAT!
[Getting overwhelmed at the increased shot of going home champion, serious nonchalantly pins Nick with one knee on top of Nick's chest.]
Wilden: And the pin!
ONE
TWO
THRE-
Wilden: NO!!!
Hart: EEEEYES!
[Serious is then knocked cold as he is hit with a shining wizard thanks to Chazz Mendel.]
Hart: YES! YES! OH YES!
[Chazz then pins Nick Dangerous.]
Wilden: Chazz pins Dangerous!
ONE
TWO
THREE
Hart: WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
Wilden: Chazz Mendel! Chazz Mendel takes it!
["Tiger, The Lion" hits the PA system as Chazz falls to the mat, as he's relieved it's all over, yet too exhausted to appreciate it.]
Wilden: What a hard, hard, HARD fought victory! I just can't put into words, I didn't think Nick would end up defending his title for another six weeks until Cyberslam! But thanks to Fiasco he got put away the first week on the way!
Hart: What's REALLY important is Chazz Mendel is our new World Champion! It's the end of a glorious era! But we're heading into another new, fantastic era all together!
Wilden: I'm with the fans in wishing tonight was Johnny's night-
Hart: Let me cut you off right there, it obviously wasn't Johnny Serious' night!
Donna Dixon: The winner of this match and NEW cWo WORLD CHAMPION! CHAZZ MENDELLLLLL!
Hart: There you have it, it was Chazz's night! Chazz's night!
[The show ends with the fading image of Chazz Mendel laying motionless with the title around his shoulder]
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To Hell and Back '08
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