[Heretic hestitantly walks towards the building. He’s dressed in a Wolf shirt and ripped jeans. He’s met at the door by Tony “Totally” Awesome, who looks concerned.]

Tony “Totally” Awesome: Heretic?

Heretic: Nope. Me again.

Tony “Totally” Awesome: Look, we NEED Heretic back!

Heretic: I don’t know what to tell you. But here…

[Hands Tony a note]

Tony “Totally” Awesome: What the hell is this?

Heretic: It’s a note from a doctor I was talking to on a message board. I can’t wrestle tonight. I’m sick.

Tony “Totally” Awesome: Sick with what?

Heretic: I have Aspberger’s syndrome!

Tony “Totally” Awesome: You need to get on track! You need to take care of Muru for me… I even banned him from the building tonight for you.

Heretic: Well if he’s not allowed here because he’s too sick to wrestle, I should be excused to!

Tony “Totally” Awesome; You’re not sick!

Heretic: I’ve watched tapes of this Baxter guy, he means business! Heretic could take him, but not me!

Tony “Totally” Awesome: Well, maybe Baxter’ll bring him out of you!

Heretic: No, it doesn’t work that way!

Tony “Totally” Awesome: Too bad! You’re on for tonight!

[Heretic pouts, and heads into the arena, muttering under his breath.]

Heretic: ..but it’s a form of autism.

[The cWo logo flashes and spins past the screen, as it spins out of control and hits the camera, we see a crack in the camera as clips of cWo wrestlers spew out of the crack in the screen doing what they do best. Sevendust's "Driven" begins to play as we see clips of last week's program, including flashes of the University of Texas crowd. A shot of Thaddeus Walker is shown, several clips from some of his matches. The camera then shows a shot on Thaddeus in front of a black backdrop and displays cWo's new slogan

I AM CWO

The screen now shows shots of Scott Reznik from his matches, ending with him finally winning a match over Dynamite at Driven 18, then a shot of Reznik standing against a black backdrop looking at the camera

I AM CWO

Clips of Jacob Baxter are shown, he’s shown in vignettes, being interviewed by Tiffany Tolberg, then destroying Zidane Starkiller in the ring. Baxter stands against a black backdrop and looks into the camera

I AM CWO

A highlight reel of Devon Dice is shown, dating back to the beginning of cWo, ending with him holding the world title prior to Cyber slam V. Dice then stands against the black backdrop

I AM CWO

A highlight reel of JJ Carter’s past in cWo is shown, including his feud with Christian Roman as well as his battles with The Wraith. Clips of him from Driven 18 are shown, then JJ is shown against the black backdrop

I AM CWO

Clips of Muru begin. Muru is shown as the TV champion facing Sean Pason, then in a match with Stephanie Bliss, then pinning Notorious JON three times, culminating with him in the ring at Driven 18. Muru stands against the black backdrop

I AM CWO

Johnny Serious' highlight reel begins, showing highlights such as going toe to toe with Nick Dangerous and Jack Union, defeating Lugo at Cyberslam V and briefly holding the cWo world title. Johnny Serious stands against the black backdrop.

I AM CWO

A highlight package then plays of Notorious JON, dating back to the beginning of cWo. He's shown in five shots raising the cWo world title, one for each win. Notorious JON now stands against the black backdrop

I AM CWO

A highlight package then pays of Andrew Mendel. Highlights are shown such as his TV title reign as Andrew Phillips, then clips of his battles with top cWo superstars, then a shot of him holding the US title, then returning to cWo and turning on Chazz Mendel. Andrew Mendel stands against the black backdrop.

I AM CWO

Finally, a highlight reel is shown of Chazz Mendel. He's shown confronting Jack Union, then hitting the Shooting Star Press on various cWo superstars, and finally holding up the cWo World Heavyweight title. Chazz Mendel stands against the black backdrop, the World Title on his shoulder.

I AM CWO

[The camera then goes live to the Frank Erwin Center at the University of Texas. Several pans of the crowd are shown, most of the fans throwing up the longhorn hand signs, and then the camera finds Lance Wilden and Robbie Hart sitting at ringside at the announce table.]

Lance Wilden: Welcome to The University of Texas and cWo Driven! I’m Lance Wilden, joined as always by Robbie Hart! We’re one week away from the biggest event of the year, Cyberslam, and it’s shaping up to be one of the best we’ve ever had!

Hart: Andrew Mendel’s finally going to get what’s coming to him, that’s all I care about!

Wilden: Tonight we should see more matches take shape for Cyberslam… what is Mr. Rich after with Johnny Serious, and how exactly will Thaddeus Walker and Devon Dice have a match “for honor?”

Hart: And what about a match that nobody in cWo wants to even acknowledge, Notorious JON vs. Roman! Is it gonna be allowed? Will Roman show up?

Wilden: Another big story is that some new and returning superstars have been making quite a splash in cWo the last few weeks, and we’ll see them here live tonight! JJ Carter, who has a new associate and a new attitude, will team up with the man he calls Brother Shabazz as they square off against the NWA!

Hart: I hope they tear those nerds apart! It’s about time that African-Americans have some success in cWo! I mean… I LOVE black people!

Wilden: Robbie, nobody said you didn’t..

Hart: I have tons of black friends. Jason Duran and I always hang out. I’m voting for Obama!

Wilden: Also in action tonight is a man who’s making tremendous waves here in cWo, Jacob Baxter, and he steps into the ring with the two time world champion, Heretic… a man who isn’t quite himself at the moment.

Hart: I’ll give Baxter some credit, he’s rolled over the easy competition, but this is Heretic we’re talking about! Crazy or not, he’s still a threat!

Wilden: Also in action tonight will be Alex Kayman, as he prepares for his match against his former friend Jake Oliver at Cyberslam by stepping into the ring with the seemingly new member of the Mendel clan, Scott Reznik!

Hart: If Reg likes Reznik, he’s OK with me!

Wliden: Also, we will be seeing the debut of a brand new superstar as Chastity McGavin steps into the ring with Dynamite.

Hart: Ha! Women wrestling!

Wilden: Robbie, women have been VERY successful here in cWo! Jen Diamond and Krista Rage were both US champions, and Stephanie Bliss was one of our top stars!

Hart: Well, let’s get a look at her, then I can tell you if she’ll be a star or not.

Wilden: And in our main event, Johnny Serious will take on Andrew Mendel in what’s sure to be a pay per view caliber match against our two of our top talents!

Hart: I hope they injure each otheer!

Wilden: Fans, we’ve got Jason Duran standing by backstage.. take it, Jason!

[Jason Duran stands in the backstage area of the arena.]

Jason Duran: Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time, he is "The Green Bay Wrecker", Jake Oliver!

[Jake enters the scene with a smug smile on his face, as well as a dark haired girl who's taping up her wrist.]

JD: Jake Oliver, two weeks ago on Driven, you turned on your tag team partner Alex Kayman after you seemingly lost the match for him.

Jake: I lost the match for him? Duran, clearly--clearly!--I had a knee injury. And I was only trying to help Alex out, because as you know, he can't do much of anything without me.

Duran: Well, what makes you say that? I mean, Alex has had a successful career...

Jake: He's had a successful career, all right, but he had it elsewhere, and last time I checked, he had almost ruined it. Do you remember Alex when he came here? The poor kid could barely function. He was dishelved, unwashed, he was a wreck. Now me? I had a promising career of me. I went toe to toe with the best this company had to offer and almost came out of the match on top. I was on my way to singles superstardom? But you know what my problem was? Huh? Go ahead and ask me.

[Jake pauses and Jake's female companion glares at Duran.]

Duran: *gulping* Uh, what was your problem?

Jake: I'm just too nice for my own damn good, JD., Clearly, CLEARLY, I could be United States Champion right now. Look at me! Am I not the absolute picture of pure wrestling perfection? And then look at Alex Kayman--a flipping spinning madhouse of suck. I took Alex Kayman, the high flyer, the spot monkey, the jerk, bought him out of his haze! I carried him as we set this company's tag team division on it's ear, I took the big spills in our matches, I took the brunt of the punishment, so I could give him the hot tag and have him do his flips and spins and get an easy pin,. That was me, Duran! If it weren't for me, Alex Kayman would still be a professional wrestling punchline, not a man who got a win who's a former tag team champion! But where was Alex Kayman when I needed him? When I fell on some hard times, huh? He stabbed me in my back and ratted me out like the bitch he is, that's what he did! Well, it all fine and good. I'm on my own now. Or maybe...not completely on my own, Duran. Say hello to my sister, Morgan. Go on. Say hello.

Duran: Uh, hi!

Morgan [unimpressed]: Hi.

Jake: You see, Duran, I didn't ask to be in a match against Alex Kayman on the grandest stage of them all. I didn't ask, because I didn't want to embarass him. I think we all know who's the real deal between us, I think we both know who's gonna win! But he wants a match versus me? That's fine, it just gives me the opportunity to prove how good I am! BUt uh...seing as though he has a match up tonight...I don't see why I shouldn't scout his match. Do you, Duran?

Duran: Not at all! And Morgan, what are your predictions for your cWo career.

Morgan [smiles]: Predictions, Duran? I only have one prediction. *grabs Duran by the collar of his shirt* Pain.

[Morgan shoves him back into the door of the lockerrom, sending him spilling backwards through it. Morgan laughs as Jake shakes his head.]
Jake: That's my sister for you!

[Devon Dice walks into the parlor of Thaddeus Walker. Thaddeus sits in a leather chair, smoking a pipe. CB Fowler sits across from him, also smoking a pipe and reading an old timey newspaper. Thaddeus’ son, TJ Walker, sits in the corner and reads an old comic book titles “Captain Christian in the jungle of hell!” featuring a superhero punching a really offensive African stereotype.]

Thaddeus: CB, old chap, how’d the Dodgers do?

CB: Brooklyn’s on a roll, TW, a roll!

Thaddeus; Outstanding.

[Dice clears his throat. Thaddeus looks over to him.]

Thaddeus: Ah! Good day to you, Robit!

Dice: Ok, Walker, what’s your plan for Cyberslam? What’s on the line?

Thaddeus: I already told ya, sport, Honor!

Dice: How can honor be on the line? Every match is for honor!

Thaddeus: CB, show ‘em!

[CB reaches under his hair and pulls out an large, elaborate glass bottle, corked on the end and sealed with wax.]

CB: Honor!

Dice: What?

CB: 100% pure honor!

Thaddeus: That’s what we’re fighting for, Robit! I call it an “Honor on a pole” match! The first man to take this vessel and consume the pure, concentrated honor within it wins!

Dice: ……

TJ: It’s so genius that he’s speechless, pop!

CB: You’re an innovator, Thaddeus, an innovator! First three men in the ring at the same time, then the monumental structure match, now this!

Dice: Fine. I’ll see you at Cyberslam, Walker.

[Dice turns and walks out, unsure of what he’s gotten himself into.]

[Back to Lance and Robbie]

Hart: Honor on a pole, Lance! Brilliant!

Wilden: I think I’m just as confused as Devon Dice seemed to be.

Hart: Not everyone can appreciate Thaddeus’ genius!

Wilden: Genius isn’t the word I’d use.

Hart: Brilliance? Innovation? Mastery of space and time?

Wilden: It looks like we are about ready for our first match of the evening. It pits the recently returned Dynamite against the new comer Chastity McGavin. Who this girl is and how she wrestles is beyond me. She practically came out of nowhere and we just found out about her signing a few days ago.

Robbie Hart: So we are talking about a woman getting into the ring with Dynamite?

Lance Wilden: Yes!

Robbie Hart: I'm too sure who I should put my money on.

["Chicken Hunt" by ICP begins to play and yellow lights flash around the around as Dynamite jumps out from behind the curtain.]

Wilden: And there is Dynamite! He looks ready to go and face off against this comer. He even looks confident tonight.

Hart: Who wouldn't be confident going against a woman?

Wilden: That is a bold statement there Robbie!

Hart: But probably true.

Lance Wilden: Well, we are about to see what this girl is all about right now.

[With no music or fanfare, a skinny brunnette in business attire comes walking out, holding a briefcase. She has glasses on and looks to be all about business. She stops at the bottom of the ramp and gets handed a microphone.]

Hart: Weird! I was expecting someone a little more athletic. But this girl is pretty hot and she looks serious!

Wilden: I would only rate her a six or a seven Robbie and I 'm not sure if this is Chastity or not. She didn't come out to any theme music.

Brunnette: Ladies and gentlemen, why does the cage bird sing? Why do I get paid less than most men out there in this world? Why is it that this industry is ruled by men? Is it because men are the only ones athletic enough to be apart of it? Are women just too weak to face off against men? Or is there a glass ceiling "protecting" us from getting hurt? So, we wait in the sidelines while the men take the glass elevator to the top. And women have no part, rather than being a novelty act?

Wilden: Opinonated isn't she?

Hart: But convincing... I think I just might be in love... or whatever it is you call it when you want to hump something.

[The crowd yells in agrement, mostly because this lady has in the last twenty seconds already annoyed more than half of them. Her voice is like nails on a chalk board.]

Brunnette: This is no longer going to be true! Sisters, my name is Mary Joe Wolf, attorney at law. And I am going to smash through that glass ceiling. I will do so with one powerful crowbar. A crowbar of truth. Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you that weapon: my client, the greatest specimen I have ever seen, and the person who will be the first woman to the cWo World Title: Chastity McGavin!!!

[The lights dim as "Into the Darkness" plays and a robed female figure appears on the rampway. As the song picks up the rampway lights up and the female disrobes revealing her black and red wrestling attire. She looks upwards towards the ceiling, as if praying to the Goddesses above and then casually walks to the ring. She doesn't acknowledge those around her. She stops at the bottom of the ramp where she meets with her manager/attorney. Chastity holds her arms up in the air strongly as Mary-Joe stands by her side pointing her out.]

Hart: Wow, would you look at that? She is ... uh... really fit! And buff! Mary-Joe wasn't lying when she said that she was going to be amazing.

Wilden: Yes, she definitely does look like she can hold herself in the ring. But just because she looks like she can do something, doesn' mean she can. For all we know, she can be a horrible grappler!

Hart: I'd let her and her lawyer grapple me anyday!

[Chastity slides into the ring as Mary-Joe makes her way up the steel steps. Mary-Joe gets on her knees in front of Chastity. Once again Chastity lifts up her arms, but this time fireworks go off behind her. As the music is dieing down, she helps Mary-Joe up and hands her briefcase. Mary Joe leaves the ring and it looks like she is heading to the announce position.]

Wilden: Uh... Robbie, I think Chastity's attorney is going to be joining us.

Hart: I'm not too sure if that is a good or bad thing yet. On one hand, she mocks our proffession and the men who participate in it, but on the other, she is kind of hot in a completely castrating way. Sometimes that is good. And Chastity seems to be quite the specimen!

Wilden: But, it seems like they want to change the way we do things in order to make things more "equal." This is wrestling, only the best of the best apply... if women can hang, good for them, if not... it isn't decrimanation. This proffesion is for the elite.

Hart: Shhhh... here she comes!

[Mary-Joe sits down next to Robbie Hart and Lance Wilden and puts on her head set.]

Mary-Joe: Gentlemen, I want you to pay real close attention. You are watching the future of cWo!

Hart: That is amazing! Women should have a more prominent place in whatever. Are you single?

Wilden: Robbie?

Mary-Joe: I refuse to answer the question, Robbie!

Wilden: Would you two be quiet, the match is about to begin.

[Ding Ding Ding]

[Chastity wastes no time and immediately charges at Dynamire with a sick kick. Both immediately get up, but Chastity brings him back down with a stiff lariat.]

Wilden: Well, you can say at least Chastity has a lot of energy.

Mary-Joe: She has more than that Lance. She is just getting started!

Hart: Well... Dynamite is known for being pretty easy to defeat!

Mary-Joe: It is a pity really, I was hoping that she would have a tougher challenge to show what she is really capable of.

[Chastity follows up with a curb stomp to Dynamite. She continually kicks him in the chest, urging him to "get up." She picks him up, but he starts puching her ribs and breaks away from her hold. Dynamite off the ropes and connects with Chastity with a shoulder block. He then grabs her by the hair and slams her into the turnbuckle!]

Mary-Joe: That is assault!

Wilden: That is wrestling!

Mary-Joe: Does Dynamite have long flowing beautiful hair?

Wilden: No... but...

Mary-Joe: But nothing, he is assaulting her and taking advantage of her gender by pulling her hair.

Wilden: Then why doesn't she just cut her hair?

Mary-Joe: She shouldn't have to conform to the man's world.

Hart: Yeah!

[Dynamite slams her face into the turnbuckle again! He tries once more, but she holds onto the side and circles behind Dynamite and perfroms a dropkick which send him into the turnbuckle. She then follows up with a school boy pin!]

[1]

[2]

Wilden: That was a close one! Chastity could have pulled off the upset!

Mary-Joe: How would that be an upset? Because she is a woman?

Wilden: No... because she is new...

Hart: Quit embarrassing yourself Lance.

[The minute Dynamite gets on his feet, he is welcomed be a cutthroat neckbrecker from Chastity. Chastity hops over the ropes and waits for Dynamite to get back up. The minute he does she springboards off the top rope and lands a kick to the back of his head.]

Mary-Joe: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the "Bra Burner!" I named it myself!

Wilden: That is a big surprise!

Hart: Lance you are such a sexist!

[Chastity heads to the top turnbuckle and then looks at Mary-Joe. Mary Joe stands up, inspired with her client. Chastity leaps off with a moonsault into a double foot stamp onto the chest of Dynamite!]

Mary-Joe: And we call that, the Not-So-Fresh-Feeling!

Wilden: Isn't that sexist within itself!

Mary-Joe: How is it sexist when it comes from a woman?

Hart: Forgive Lance, he hates women. I however am a big supporter of woman's rights. Do you have a phone number I can reach you at, so we can discuss women's lib!

Mary-Joe: Um... I like to wash my hair twenty four hours a day!

Hart: Can I join you?

Wilden: Quiet, you two, Chastity with the pin!

[1]

[2]

Wilden: And another kickout by Dynamite! This guy has more lives than a ... cat! At least tonight!

[Mary-Joe stands up]

May-Joe: Gentlemen, it has been... uh... screw it... my client needs my assistance.

[May-Joe takes off her set and walks to the ring. In the ring, Dynamite is gaining back more steam and performs an impant DDT on Chastity. Mary-Joe places her briefcase into one of the corners and then struts to the other side as Dynamite picks Chastity back up and hits her with a vicious bulldog.]

Wilden: What do you think this serpent is up to?

Hart: Serpent?! You are talking about the woman of my dreams!

Wilden: I'm not all that sure she was into you.

Hart: She was playing hard to get!

[Mary-Joe climbs up to the apron and starts yelling at Dynamite. She doesn't get Dynamite's attention, but the ref's as well. Both men begin arguing with the attorney as Chastity crawls to the corner with the briefcase. Dynamite turns around just in time for Chastity to slam the briefcase into his cranium while the ref's back is turned. Chastity slides the briefcase out of the ring as Mary-Joe climbs down from the apron.]

Wilden: Oh what the hell? How is using an illegal weapon proving a woman's dominance?

Hart: It showing how smart these two ladies are and how much they are on the same page!

[The referee turns back around to see Chastity lift Dynamite up and then grab him by his arm and perform what she calls "The Rape of the Lock!" twisthing and then slamming Dynamite into the mat. Chastity makes the pin.]

[1]

[2]

[3]

Wilden: What a croc! I'm all for women being equal, but they aren't equal when they cheat to win.

Hart: I didn't see anyone cheat, Lance. I saw two strong women pull off an elaborate power play and succeed.

[Mary-Joe slides into the ring as the ref raises Chastity's arm. Mary-Joe pushes the ref aside and holds up Chastity's hand instead.]

Donna Dixon: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner: Chastity McGavin!

Hart: What a way to start a career here, Lance. What a strong win by Chastity McGavin with a little assistance by her hot attorney!

Wilden: She is more cute than anything else Robbie. But yes, Chastity wins in her first match, but is it deserved? I don't think so!

[Chastity heads to the top turnbuckle and flexes for the crowd as Mary-Joe points to her, in awe.]

[Commercial break]

[Backstage, Jen Diamond walks out of Omega's locker room and begins to head towards an undisclosed location. But suddenly, a small female figure bumps into her. The woman falls to the floor as Jen Diamond is unmoved but a tad bit concerned.]

Jen Diamond: I'm sorry...

[Jen looks down to see the lady already getting up who just so happens to be Chastity McGavin's attorney: Mary Joe Wolf. Jen helps her up as she brushes off her skirt.]

Mary-Joe: What are you... stu..?

[The anger in Mary-Joe's eyes quickly change when she see's Jen Diamond.]

Mary-Joe: I'm sorry... I thought you were another one of those "men!" But I see you are something different altogether.

Jen Diamond: Yeah... I guess, because I am a woman.

Mary-Joe: Darling, we aren't just women, we are the superior species on this earth.

Jen Diamond: I like your energy at least!

Mary-Joe: It's not just energy, it is a conviction. But look at you... you must spend hours on those traps. I wish I can look like that!

Jen Diamond: I guess, you need to work out and train...

Mary-Joe: No, what you have comes naturally.

[Mary Joe pulls a card out of her pocket and hands it to Jen.]

Mary-Joe: That's my card! Call me... I think you could use better representation.

[Jen looks at the card confused.]

Jen Diamond: Uh, thanks...

Mary-Joe: It has been a pleasure. I'll hope to be seeing you soon!

[Mary-Joe begins to walk away, almost nervous and makes a "call me" gesture as she walks away..

[Back to ringside]

Hart: See, Mary Joe’s already helping other women here in cWo!

Wilden: Is it just me, or was that more uncomfortable than it should have been?

Hart: What do you mean, uncomfortable?

Wilden: You don’t think Mary Joe was acting a little… strange? Nervous even?

Hart: She’s meeting new people, of course she’s nervous!

Wilden: Well folks, let’s get right back to the action. Our next match pits JJ Carter and Brother Shabazz…

Hart: Don't you just love these guys? I mean seriously. J.J. Carter, after a year suddenly this guy is awesome to me. And Brother Shabazz, that guy has some character. Some anger. Aggression. I love it. Fight the power brothas!

Wilden: We got those two going off against Ethan Long and Drake

Browne. Looks to be another solid duo rising through the CWO tag team ranks.

Hart: No way can they compete against the Connextion.

[Raining Blood by Slayer plays over the arena, and the lights dim over much of the arena. One spotlight remains at the top of the ramp. Shabazz and Carter step out from backstage into the spotlight. The lights slowly turn back on over the arena as the music stops.]

Shabazz: Enough already, cut the [bleep bleep].

Carter: Look what happens here. The man sees a rising threat from the black community, so the man has to do and say some crazy stuff in order to hold us back. That little

Shabazz: [bleep] bitch

Carter: Thank you. That little what he said Hillary Clinton is hoping Barack Obama gets shot so she can steal the nomination. I bet you, if she stoops that low, there will be violence in the streets of this country. America will be the land of tyranny. And it would be time many will fight for the revolution.

Shabazz: And here in CWO, we get to fight nerdy little white bitches like Drake Browne and Ethan Long? Do either one really belong in a wrestling ring? They probably went to some high class prep school, watched us on TV, and figured it would be cool to try in reality. Mommy and daddy probably paid for them to step into the ring and make their dream of the last month come true. Putzes.

[The two start walking down to the ring.]

Carter: Why is the CWO continuing to send us bums like this?What's next? Homeless people? I think they would put up a better fight.

Shabazz: It is our time to shine. We will become the next tag team champions, whether this company wants to see it happen or not. They can not hold us back any longer. We are fighting, solidarity, for ourselves and our people. No longer will we be held down by the man.

Hart: Right on!

Wilden: Sit down. Now we got...

[Metallica's Imperial March blasts and Ethan Long and Drake Browne make their way to the ring. Browne seems upset, while Long is the complete opposite, smiling and playing to the crowd.]

Wilden: It's going to be Ethan Long and JJ Carter starting this one.

[Ding Ding Ding]

Wilden: And we're underway.

[Long and Carter lock up to a stalemate. They circle and lock up again. Carter balks and hits Long with a knee to the gut.]

Hart: What a fakeout!

Wilden: Carter, with a armdrag takedown and locks in a shoulder lock.

[Long scrambles to his feet and escapes the hold quickly. He bounces off the ropes and lands a dropkick, sending Carter to the outside of the ring.]

Wilden: And over the top rope to the outside goes JJ Carter. Here goes Ethan Long following him and JJ sidesteps and Long catches a face full of floor.

Hart: Heads up, Nerds flying everywhere.

Wilden: Now Carter stomping the back of Long and here comes Brother Shabazz to help out. Now Drake Browne rushing over to help his partner.

[Browne and Shabazz square off outside the ring and have a minor scuffle before the referee breaks it up.]

Wilden: JJ Carter finally stops and listens to the referee and gets back in the ring.

Hart: Look, Ethan Long is mad his nerd buddy is helping him.

[Carter tags in Shabazz and Drake Browne disgusted with Ethan Long leaves the ringside area and heads to the back, leaving his partner to fend for himself.]

Wilden: Where’s Browne going?

Hart: He’s had enough of JJ and Shabazz!

Wilden: He’s totally leaving his partner out to try! This is a 2 on 1 situation now! Long slides in the ring and is met by Shabazz right away, across the ropes, and OH MY! SECOND STORY DROP! THE COVER!

One..

Two..

Threee!!

[Ding Ding Ding]

Donna Dixon: Here are your winners, JJ Carter and Brother Shabazz!

Hart: What a win, he used JJ’s finisher to end the Nerds!

Wilden: Impressive win, but there is trouble in NWA world.

Hart: Nerd Rage!

[Ethan Long is seen storming through the backstage area looking for Drake Browne. Drake Browne is seen walking out of the NWA locker room as Long approaches and pushes Browne back into the room and begins to yell.]

Long: What the hell's your problem, geek?

Browne: I -

Long: Just gonna leave me out to dry? Huh? We're supposed to be a team, even though you suspended me from the guild!

Browne: TEAM! What team? Last week you took all the credit and told everyone you were the reason I won. You didn't seem to have a problem then.

Long: That was different, you obviously couldn't handle one opponent. You left me to fend against two thugs! Even Yoda would have trouble.

[Drake Browne drops Ethan Long with a haymaker.]

Browne: Never talk about Yoda like that again! AND DON'T YOU EVER OUTBID ME AGAIN!

[Browne grabs the Captain Picard doll off of Ethan Long's shelf as he walks out.]

Browne: cWo isn’t big enough for the both of us. Next week I’ll make you GTFO…. NOOB!

[Mr. Rich and Evette are sitting backstage as Tiffany Tolberg comes running with a mic]

Tiffany: Mr. Rich....last week you earned a shot at the U.S. Title at Cyberslam, but you went to extreme measures to do so....Why?

Mr. Rich: What do you mean extreme measures....do you mean that I reconnected with my loving wife Evette. Well, truth be told Tiffany, and please pay attention because I am not going to tell you again....myself and Evette were never disconnected. We have always loved each other. And this so called attack was exactly what I said it was, Evette faking her injuries, because that is how good she is.

Tiffany Tolberg: All of this....for what, the U.S. Title...

Mr. Rich: Tiffany, are you that uneducated....Johnny didn't even have the U.S. Title when Evette and myself discussed this plan. See, I scouted Johnny Serious, I knew he had the potential to win the World Title. And I knew, that If I can turn him against Nick Dangerous, that he could win the World Title and that I could use my "misbehavior" towards Evette as a way to gain my World Title shot, but to my surprise, Johnny Serious wasn't good enough to hold the cWo World Title as he lost it in less time then it does for you to create a single thought Tiffany! So what are we to do? We settle for the U.S. Championship I guess, because we worked to damn hard to gain nothing out of this plan.....now get out of my face so myself and my wife can celebrate our future cWo U.S. Championship win!!!!!!!!!!!

[Evette eyes Tiffany up and down and then walks Tiffany out of their dressing room and then slams the door on Tiffany's face]

[Commercial Break]

[Back to ringside.]

Wilden: We’re back! Before the break, we saw tensions finally get the best of the Nerds with Attitudes!

Hart: You don’t bid on another man’s Picard, Lance!

Wilden: Over the break we received word that next week, at the pre-Cyberslam Driven 21, Ethan Long and Drake Browne will be facing each other in what they are calling a “Nerdcore rules” match, with the stipulation that the loser has to… “GTFO,” whatever that means.

Hart: What are you, a caveman? That means that the loser leaves town!

Wilden: Folks, you’re NOT gonna want to miss what should be a tremendous main event for the final Driven before Cyberslam VI!

(Give me fuel, give me fire Give me that which I desire!)

Flames shoot out of the ramp as the drums kick in and "Fuel" by Metallica blast on the PA. Jake Oliver gets a modest booing as he and Morgan make their way down to the ring, though Morgan appears to be ready for battle with on open Yankees jersey with her bra showing, loose fitting jeans, taped wrist and fist and elbow pads.)

Wilden: Well apparently we're going to be joined by the former cWo Tag Team Champion Jake Oliver, which will be...interesting, to say the least!

Hart: I, for one, like this change in attitude. I mean, he's right, he might very well be the perfect pure wrestler, Kayman's all flash and no substance, you know?

Wilden: Well I don't think that's necessarily the case to me, but uh, here comes the man himself.

Oliver (puts on headset): Yo yo yo, mofos! How ya doing Robbie, that shirt looks great on you, sir.

Hart: Why thank you! You don't mind the mustard stain?

Oliver: I think it brings out the color of your eyes. Wilden, you're looking hideous as usual.

Wilden: It's nice to have you at the table tonight, Mr. Oliver.

Oliver: Damn right it is, I'm out here not only to watch this match up tonight and provide better play-by-play and color commentary than both of you can in one night! I'm also here to introduce the world to my half-sister, the Morgan Oliver, and to announce my new name, not the "Green Bay Wrecker", I am now officially known as the "Pinnacle of Pure"! Monkeys in the truck, get on the phone to corporate and tell them to start making t-shirts!

("Lovercall" by Danko Jones cues on the PA. Fireworks explode out of the ramp as the music kicks in proper and Alex Kayman charges out onto the ramp with a big smile on his face.)

Donna Dixon: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from San Francisco, California, he weighs in at 222 pounds, he is "THE STUD" ALLEEEEX KAAAAYYYYMAANNNNN!!

(He walks down the ramp, high fiving fans and posing for a picture here or there until he reaches the ring, where he rolls in, then makes his way to the turnbuckle and poses for the fans. Then he turns his attention to Jake Oliver.)

Oliver: That's right, keep staring at me! You know you can't beat me, that's why you keep staring at me! What kind of nickname is "The Stud" anyway, huh? There's no marketing power behind that!

Hart: What's so studly about him anyway? Just because he has abs like an anorexic teenager doesn't make him a stud!

Oliver: (cracks up) GOOD ONE, ROBBIE HART! You should go solo, sir!

Hart: I keep telling them that, but they keep talking about me "being offensive!"

Wilden: (unenthused) I'm going to enjoy calling this match so much.

("Cannon" by White Stripes cues on the PA and the crowd boos as Scott Reznik makes his way to the ring.)

Donna Dixon: And his opponent, weighing in at 275 pounds, SCOTT REZNIK!!

Wilden: Scott Reznik rose a lot of eyebrows...

Oliver: Lay out and let me call thise shiz, Wilden! You know, I do believe Reznik is a french name, dating back to nobility of the royal brown noser, who's job it was to sniff the ass of the King of Paris or whatever. It's nice to see that Scott Reznik has decided to keep up the family tradition by shoving that large nose of his straight up the ass of the cWo World Champion!

Hart: I did not know that!

Oliver: THe more you know, Robbie. The more you know.

(Reznik slides underneath the ropes into the ring.)

[DING DING DING!]

Wilden: And off to the races we go, "The Stud" Alex Kayman against the big, tough Scott Reznik. Kayman and Reznik circle each other, then lock up center of the ring, and the big, powerful Reznik pushes him off! Kayman right back in his face but gets shoved off again, and now Kayman rolls back to his feet again and...THUMB TO THE EYE!

Oliver: DQ HIM! Did you know that a thumb to the eye is grounds for immediate disqualification!?

Hart: IT IS!?

Oliver: Damn right it is! And everyone ignores it, but have you ever had a nail in your, it kills, Wilden, KILLS! The Pinnacle of Pure does not appreciate things like thumbs to the eye!

Wilden: At any rate Kayman now with the arm wrench and--

Oliver: The arm wrench, developed in 1915 by that old-time wrestling legend, the half-Irish half-Italian immigrant Pasty O'Holloran-Vermachelli, who found it quite useful both in the ring, and when restraining his wife at home.

Wilden: Alright!

Hart: I did not know that!

Oliver: I could fill six encyclopedias with the stuff you don't know, Hart. No offense.

Wilden: Reznik now, reverses the arm wrench into one of his own, Kayman though gets to the ropes and flips out of it, and applies his arm wrench again, into the hammer lock and now into the side headlock, Reznik shoots him off the ropes, and Kayman runs into Reznik and it's like he hit a brick wall! Reznik one of the big men in cWo, Kayman is not going to out power him as Reznik goes after him, Alex Kayman able to kick his legs out from under him! And now Alex Kayman with a CORKSCREW STANDING MOONSAULT! Incredible how he can pull off manuever's like that as he covers, one, TWO, no! Reznik powers out.

Oliver: Incredible my Wisconsin cheese eating ass, once again, that's my point, another move that's all flash, no substance, Reznik probably didn't even feel it!

Wilden: Reznik back to his feet now and he throws a wild clothesline at Alex Kayman, Kayman ducks it though, springboards off the second rope and CATCHES REZNIK WITH THE DDT!!! And Alex Kayman again on the cover, ONE, TWO, NO! Reznik with the kick out again.

Oliver: You see that? I could do that. Tornado DDT, no problem, but that's not what I do, that's not what my sister does, we will outwrestle anybody this company throws at us!

Hart: Speaking of your sister, is she single.

Oliver: She's gay.

Hart: ...Oh.

Oliver: Very gay. Almost Wilden-like in her gayness.

Hart: Oh man.

Oliver: I'm sayin' right.

Wilden: Can we just call the match!

Oliver: It's okay to be out in today's enviroment, man! Just look what it's done for Jodie Foster's career! Cynthia Nixon! Rupert Everett is miserably homo and he's...

Wilden: OKAY, back to the match! Kayman hauling Reznik back to his feet, now he's hitting the ropes but Reznik CATCHES HIM WITH THE SAMOAN DROP! Kayman practically squished, and he rolls out of the ring for a repreive. And Reznik trying to go after him, but the referee is tying him up, and...wait a minute. WAIT A MINUTE! Morgan Oliver just delivered the boot to Alex Kayman! Boot to the stomach of Alex Kayman, and now Jake Oliver just jumped up from our announce position!

Hart: Ah, man? He was lending more to play-by-play commentary than you have in your entire career!

Wilden: Morgan Oliver caught Alex Kayman with the boot to the stomach, and now Jake Oliver with the running knee lift! The referee is tied up with Reznik, and now Morgan Oliver has a chair, Jake Oliver with the boot to the stomach, and now OLIVER'S TWIST!! Oliver's Twist on the floor!! Can someone get someone to stop this!!

Hart: Oh, good, Jake's coming back to the commentary booth!

Oliver: (putting his headset back on) Gentlemen, I want you to watch this!

Wilden: Morgan Oliver now, sitting the chair underneath Kayman's head. And how she grabs his arms and...she's not gonna...

Oliver: Oh yes she is!

Wilden: And now MORGAN OLIVER WITH THE CURB STOMP ON THE CHAIR!

Oliver: THE CARPET MUNCHER! Or maybe Steel Chair Muncher, as it were!

Wilden: That sickening Curb Stomp on the outside, on a steel folding chair, and now Morgan Oliver hauls a lifeless Alex Kayman up and rolls him into the ring, and NOW the referee notices something is a miss! Come on, ref! Think for a second here! And now Reznik with the cover!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THREE!!

Dammit! Dammit!! Reznik wins!!

Donna Dixon: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner by pinfall, SCOTT REZNIK!!

Wilden: And wait a minute, Scott Reznik isn't finished yet!! And now Jake and Morgan Oliver are in the ring as Reznik hauls Alex Kayman back to his feet, shoots him into the ropes and NAILS HIM WITH THE STUN GUN!! And now Jake Oliver with the LARIAT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Alex Kayman getting creamed as now...Morgan locks in the Triangle Choke on! Morgan Oliver with the Triangle Choke locked in on Alex Kayman! And Reznik and Oliver beating down "The Stud"! Someone stop this!

Hart: He doesn't look very stud-like to me, Lance! He looks done to me! Haha!

Wilden: This is just a sanctioned mugging, this is...

("Epic" by Faith No More roars across the PA and the crowd roars as Andrew Mendel charges down the ramp.)

Hart: What is he doing here!

Wilden: Mendel slides into the ring and Reznik bails out!! Reznik bailing out, Jake Oliver goes after Mendel with the clothesline, Andrew ducks it, AND THE SUPERKICK! SUPERKICK ON JAKE OLIVER!! And Morgan Oliver finally releasing that triangle choke and getting the hell out of dodge!! This crowd going nuts as Andrew points at Reznik, who's probably got out of dodge as fast as anybody!

("Epic" cues on the PA again as Andrew keeps his eyes glued on Reznik, but he bends down to help Kayman.)

Wilden: And Reznik might have to question his alliance with Chazz Mendel, God help Reznik when he Andrew gets his hands on him!

Hart: Oh shut up!

Wilden: Folks, we’ve got Tiffany Tolberg backstage standing by with Jacob Baxter, who’s got his biggest match in his cWo career tonight against Heretic.. take it, Tiffany!

[The cameras cut backstage as we see Tiffany Tolberg standing outside Jacob Baxter's dressing room door. She doesn't seem pleased to be there after her last meeting with Baxter]

Tiffany Tolberg: For the last month, Jacob "The Bastard" Baxter has run through the competition thrown at him here in the cWo. Tonight, he faces his toughest challenge yet as he goes toe-to-toe with two-time cWo World Heavyweight Champion, Heretic. This could make or break his career here in the cWo.

[During Tiffany's opening spiel, Baxter's door opens and he slips out, standing right behind Tiffany. She does not notice him, as he stands there topless behind him with a smirk on his face]

Tiffany: He should be joining us any minute…

[She turns with her arm raised and fist clinched to knock on the door and stops in her tracks as she is chest to face with Baxter. Baxter smiles at her]

Jacob "The Bastard" Baxter: Look a lil flustered there, Tiffany. Fancy what you see? Find the ol' bastard quite fetching, yea?

[Tiffany shakes her head in complete disgust while trying to keep her professional rapport]

Tiffany: I'm here to get your thoughts on your upcoming match with Heretic.

Baxter: What would you like to know?

Tiffany: How will you approach this match compared to your recent matches here?

Baxter: I'll treat it just the same, yea. I bring my A game to every match. If guys the likes of Starkiller and Lord Crazy brought theirs, maybe they wouldn't look like such chumps.

Tiffany: Yes, but compared to Zidane Starkiller and Lord Crazy, Heretic is a two-time World Heavyweight Champion and a US and Tag Champion as well. Don't you think he'd be more of a challenge?

Baxter: I'll bring my fight, he'll bring his, and if he's as good as his reputation builds him up to be, then it'll be one hell of a fight. Besides, ol' chap's been looking a little loopy lately. It might be easier than one would think.

Tiffany: Do you think that would take away from the victory if his out-of-the-ring issues got involved?

Baxter: A win is a win in my book. When it's all said and done, all that's gonna matter is who laid down and who stood tall at the end. D'you know what I mean? Now if things don't get too messy, you can meet me in my dressing room after the show…

Tiffany: No, thanks. I'm getting out of here.

[Tiffany quickly exits frame and leaves in disgust. Baxter just looks at the camera and shrugs as we cut away]

[Jason Duran and Johnny Serious stand backstage as Tiffany begins to ask a question. Serious is wearing his a shirt that says I AM SERIOUSLY cWo]

Duran: Johnny, everyone wants to know your thoughts on what transpired last week on Driven, when Evette turned her back on you and went back with Mr. Rich, costing you the match and forcing you into a title defense against Mr. Rich at Cyberslam.

Johnny Serious: My thoughts, Jason, are simple. Mr. Rich is a SERIOUS piece of trash and his bimbo wife who I made the mistake of trusting is right there with him. The sad thing is, all he had to do was ask and I would have gladly given him a title shot without him have to be the coniving piece of sh*t(Bleeped out) that he is!!!!!!

Duran: You have a non title match tonight against Andrew Mendel, the number one contender for the World Title at Cyberslam. How do you go into this match knowing you will have to be in the best of shape for Cyberslam. Will you take it easy tonight?

Johnny Serious: Are You SERIOUS Jason????? I do not take anything easy. In fact, As cWo U.S. Champion, I have decided that tonight's main event between me and Andrew Mendel, will be for the cWo U.S. Title....I will be putting the title up for grabs, because that is what a SERIOUSLY REAL CHAMPION DOES! And Andrew Mendel deserves the respect to have a match for the U.S. Title if he is going to be putting his body on the line against the Champ....

Duran: Wow...a U.S. Championship Match as our main event...

Johnny Serious: That is not all Jason. I am SERIOUS when I say that for now on, every singles match that I am involved in will be a Title DEFENSE. I am not going to short change anybody. All of these fans want to see titles being defended. And if Chazz Mendel can't do it for the WORLD TITLE, then I will do it for the U.S. Title....so it is safe to say, that Andrew Mendel has a SERIOUS shot at winning my title tonight......and Mr. Rich, if you are watching....and I know that your are.....

[A split screen showing Mr. Rich and Evette watching a monitor with Serious on it appears]

Johnny Serious: You two scumbags will get yours at Cyberslam, I promise you that. But tonight, Andrew Mendel, a more worthy opponent, will get his shot at the U.S. Title.....Thanks, Jason....

(Johnny Serious walks away.)

Tiffany: There it is, folks, Serious announces that tonight's main event will be a U.S. Title Match, and Andrew Mendel May walk out the Champion! Wouldn't that be a suprise for tonight??

[Mr Rich watching the monitor]

Mr. Rich: We'll see about that!!!!!!!!!

[Commercial Break]

[The scene opens with Alex Kayman in the back with ice on his jaw. The lockerroom door opens and Andrew walks in.]

Andrew: What are you doing?

Kayman: Icing my jaw, what does it look like? Dykey McDykey curb stomped me on the chair, if you didn't notice.

Andrew: ...Dykey McDykey?

Kayman: What do you want, Andrew.

Andrew: You're just going to sit back here and do nothing? You're going to let her curb stomp you into oblivion? See, Alex, that's always been your problem, bro, you just don't know when to to grab your balls like a man and do something about it. Do you think I got my title shot by sitting around while my brother's got all the glory? I told you a long time ago, you've got to earn everything you want in this world, Alex. You have to earn respect, no one's going to give it to you. So, Kayman, what are you willing to give up, huh? What are you willing to give up to get some respect, kid? Huh?

Alex: *nodding* You're right. You're right! I'm going to go Andrew Fiasco right now and do something about this!

(Alex leaves and Andrew nods as Tiffany enters the lockerroom, microphone in hand.)

Andrew: What's happening hot stuff?

Tiffany: Not much, Andrew. I was just wondering, what are your thoughts on your match tonight being for the cWo United States Championship?

Andrew: My thoughts, eh? Hmm...*strokes his chin*, well, let me think. Before I got fired, I was cWo United States Champion. And the Thaddeus and Reg had some bizarre little chase around the world with Stalin or whatever...

Tiffany: It was the Kaiser.

Andrew: God bless you. But anyway Tiff, the thing about the United States Championship is that, unlike every other belt I've held, I never really got to run hard with it. Put the belt on the map like I've done so many others, you know? Winning that United States Championship tonight, and rolling into Cyberslam with it on my shoulder...that'd be pretty sweet. But make no mistakes...my main focus is on the World Heavyweight Championship. Tonight, I'm fulling expecting Serious to bring his A-game, and I need that. I need a warm up match. Winning the US Championship tonight would be good...when I beat my brother on the grandest stage of them all...that, my dear, will be GREAT!

[The crowd cheers.]

Tiffany: IN regards to that, it seems like your brother is always one step ahead of you...

Andrew: One step ahead of me? I think he's one step behind, since I can barely turn before the em-effer clocks me when I'm not looking. That's the thing-he can keep clocking me all he wants. The problem with that is the fact that I will not...I will not...I WILL NOT DIE! I refuse to lay down! He keeps hitting me and pounding on, but I'm still standing! I will beat Johnny Serious tonight, and I'll be standing with the United States Championship. And whether Chazz likes it or not, come Cyberslam, when he hits me from behind, when he uses every cheap trick in the book...I'll still be standing, and I'll be standing with the cWo World Championship around my waist. Because I'm 1% Plastic, 99% Ass Kick, ALLLLL FANTASTIC!! And there's no one...and I mean...

Crowd: NO ONE!!!

Andrew: *smiles* NO ONE...that can stop me!

[The crowd cheers as Andrew walks out of frame.]

[Back to ringside]

Wilden: Folks, before the break we had some huge news delievered to us by Johnny Serious, who will be putting his US title on the line tonight against Andrew Mendel!

Hart: This guy really is dense! Doesn’t he realize that Andrew’s a cheater and will use his puppets like Kayman to help him win that belt?

Wilden: Kind of like Chazz does?

Hart: What? Never!

Wilden: Let’s get back to the action, folks. As we saw at the start f the show, Heretic seems to be having an identity crisis recently.

Hart: It’s not the same guy, Lance!

Wilden: It’s obviously the same guy!

Hart: Well, physically it is, but mentally, Heretic’s not there.

Wilden: Well, you’ve got to wonder what condition he will be in tonight… and we’ll answer that question right now!

[The lights in the arena dim. White lights begin to flash in throughout the arena as the intro to Oasis' "F***in' in the Bushes" hits]

Donna Dixon: The following contest is set for one fall! First, from Sydenham, London, England, weighing in at 235 pounds...Jacob "The Bastard" Baxter!

[As the song kicks in Jacob Baxter emerges from behind the curtain. He is greeted with a wall of boos from the crowd. He ignores them and climbs into the ring, pacing and waiting for his opponent.]

Donna Dixon: And his opponent, weighing in at 240lbs, Heretic!

[“Wanderer” by Ensiferum begins, and Heretic’s usual fanfare begins to play. However, there’s no sign of Heretic. The crowd boos, and after a minute, he emerges, looking terrified. He slowly shuffles to the ring, wide eyed.]

Hart: Look at him! That’s NOT Heretic!

Wilden: Then who is it?

Hart: I don’t know, but when was the last time you saw that look on Heretic’s face? Never!

Wilden: I will admit that something strange is going on here.

[Heretic climbs into the ring and takes the mic away from Dixon, he looks terrified of the crowd, and closes his eyes to speak.]

Heretic: [Breathing heavily and stammering] L… listen, Baxter! I know you wanna make….. a name for…. Yourself but listen to reason! I’m NOT Heretic! The man you wanna face isn’t here! This is just a huge mistake.. I’m not supposed to wrestle!

[Baxter jaws back at Heretic, then motions for him to make a move.]

Heretic: This isn’t a trick or anything!

[Baxter starts towards Heretic, who flings the microphone at him, missing him by a foot.]

[DING DING DING]

Wilden: This one’s under way! Baxter trying to lock up with Heretic, but Heretic is evading him, literally running away!

Hart: Stop calling him Heretic, that’s not who it is!

Wilden: Then who is it?

Hart: Not-Heretic! It’s Baxter vs. Not-Heretic!

Wilden: Baxter with a huge chop to the chest of “Not Heretic” and another, and another! “Not Heretic” collapses to the ground, clutching his chest.

Hart: This guy’s NOT a wrestler! What’s Baxter trying to do?

Wilden: “Not-Heretic” now up to his feet… he closes his eyes, looking like he’s in deep concentration

Hart: He’s summoning Heretic! Any minute now, this’ll turn into a match!

Heretic: My power is OVER 9000!

[Heretic takes a swing at Baxter, Baxter grabs his arm and responds with a huge European uppercut that sends Heretic reeling.]

Wilden: Whatever he was trying, it didn’t work!

Hart: Try harder! Don’t embarrass Heretic, whoever you are!

Wilden: “Not Heretic” takes another swing at Baxter, Baxter ducks, spins him around.. he’s got him locked in a full nelson… BASTARDIZER!

[Baxter stands over the fallen Heretic, he tries to kick him awake, but he’s out clod. Baxter looks down, disgusted and disappointed.]

Wilden: This obviously wasn’t the match Baxter wanted.

Hart: This isn’t the match ANYBODY wanted!

Wilden: Baxter will make the one footed pin…

ONE….

TWO….

THREEE…

[DING DING DING]

Donna Dixon: Here is your winner…. JACOB “THE BASTARD” BAXTER!

Wilden: Well a disappointing win tonight for Baxter, if there is such a thing. I’m sure he expected much more of an effort from a cWo legend!

Hart: He better snap out of it soon or else Muru is gonna pick up one of these quick cheap wins at Cyberslam, and that can’t happen!

Wilden: I think Muru’s perfectly capable of beating anyone, Robbie, even if Heretic does decide to “show up.”

Hart: You and I both know that Muru is terrible.

Wilden: Well folks, I know it seems like we just came back from break, but we’re receiving word that the network is ordering the telecast to take our final commercial break of the evening right now. When we come back, we’ll bring you our MAIN EVENT: Johnny Serious defending his US Title against Andrew Mendel!

[Commercial Break]

The following is a paid advertisement. The views expressed herein do not represent the Championship Wrestling Organization, The Versus Network or it’s parent company.

[The scene cuts to Notorious JON sitting behind a large oak desk, with a bookshelf behind him]

Notorious JON: Hello cWo, NJ here. I heard the comments made by Andrew Fiasco regarding my match at Cyberslam VI. What Andrew Fiasco fails to realize is that he may have some say in what goes on to cWo, but I’m not proposing a cWo match. You see, I’ve put my money up, I’ve bought the airtime, and whether Andrew Fiasco likes it or not, you WILL see me face Roman at Cyberslam. Now, I expected Christian Roman to have come out and made a statement by now, but all I’ve received is silent treatment. I’ve said he was afraid, and he seems to be proving it. So, I figured maybe Roman hasn’t been watching cWo’s fine programming recently, so I went to pay him a little visit, take a look.

[Footage rolls of Notorious JON standing outside a small arena.]

NJ: I’m here in some Podunk town to see cWo Hall of Famer Christian Roman compete against the top talent in the world! Come on, let’s take a look!

[The camera cuts to a montage of him walking around the concourse, showing cheap folding chairs and bleachers, them him standing at the merchandising cart. He holds up a T-Shirt featuring a cartoon of Christian Roman, almost appearing like an online zwinky.]

NJ: I think they captured his likeness perfectly!

[A montage of NJ watching the matches is then shown. Then it cuts to Christian Roman walking down the aisle to the beat up old ring. Notorious JON stands up in his seat and yells.]

NJ: Hey Christian! You and me at Cyberslam, what do you say?

[The scene cuts to Roman being unresponsive.]

NJ: Roman! It’s me! Do you wanna face me at Cyberslam VI?

[No reply]

NJ: You scared?

[No reply, Roman climbs into the ring.]

NJ: Are you all seeing this? You’re all seeing this, right?

[The scene cuts back to the office setting.]

NJ: Now I know that it looks like he’s moved on to such bigger and better things, but I know Roman. I GARAUNTEE YOU that not only will Christian Roman be at Cyberslam VI, but he’ll be at Driven 21 NEXT WEEK RIGHT HERE ON VERSUS! And Andrew Fiasco… there’s nothing you can do to stop it!

Now enjoy the rest of cWo Driven!

[Commercial Break]

[Back to Lance and Robbie.]

Wilden: We’re back. Folks, we all saw what was aired during the commercial break. We’ve been told by Andrew Fiasco that we are not allowed to discuss it on the show. At the risk of going against or minority owner, I only ask you to consider the source when evaluating the validity of that message.

Hart: Well, all I’m going to say is just because we can’t talk about it on the show doesn’t mean that our man Jason Duran can’t talk about it on the cWo hotline! I’m sure he’ll have the scoop!

Wilden: All we can say is check out cwo’s website for all the latest updates on this situation. Folks, it’s time for our main event! This was scheduled to be a non-title match, but earlier Johnny Serious decided to be a fighting champion, and putt he title on the line!

Hart: That guy’s dumber than I thought he was! Do you think all the great champions in cWo were great because they defended the titles every day? NO! It’s because they held them forever!

Wilden: Because of Serious’ decision, the main event of Cyberslam may very well end up being the US Champion vs. the World Champion is Andrew Mendel is to win!

Hart: Then would Chazz be able to have BOTH titles? Because that would fix all of the world’s problems!

Wilden: Let’s not waste any more time, take it, Donna Dixon!

Donna Dixon: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the cWo U.S. Championship. First, the Challenger, from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 235lbs, ANDREW MENDELLLL

["Epic" by Faith No More cues on the PA and the crowd goes nuts as Andrew Mendel walks out on to the stage and down the ramp.]

Donna Dixon: And his opponent, from Hollywood California and weighing in at 245lbs, he is the cWo United States Champion, JOHNNNNYYYYY SEEEERRRRRIIIIIIOOOOUUUSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!

(The lights go our as the Voice of Johnny Serious comes over the sound system and says "Are You SERIOUS." An orange light turns on in the arena as the song "You Can't Be Serious" by Classified plays. Johnny Serious makes his way out to the ring with Evette (his manager and Valet) close behind. . He enters the ring, goes to a corner and climbs the turnbuckle and lifts his United States Title and gives a friendly cocky smile. The regular house lights come back on)

Wilden: And this battle for the U.S. Title is on....

DING, DING, DING

Wilden: And this contest is under way, and may I remind everyone that this match is a cWo U. S. Title match. Orignally booked as a non-title match, Johnny Serious stated that he will defend the title, so this should be a good one tonight.

Hart: Blah, blah, blah, the good guy Serious does it again...I am so sick of him!

(Serious and Andrew Mendel lock hands and the two shove each other back and forth before Serious shoves Mendel into the corner.)

Wilden: Serious with the upperhand, has Andrew in the corner and is now sending his right knee into the gut of Andrew.

(Andrew reverses...)

Wilden: And now It's Andrew who has Serious in the corners and WOW, unleashing a hard loud chop, one after another...

Hart: Geez, I wish I could just close my eyes and this night would be over, because I can not stand either one of them.

Wilden: And as those kind words leave Robbie's mouth, Andrew pulls Serious to the center of the ring and goes for a scoop slam.

(Serious now on his back as Andrew Mendel begins to stomp on him. Andrew picks Serious up in a vertical suplex position and...)

Wilden: AND ANDREW MENDEL WITH A CHAIN VERTICAL SUPLEX.....1......2.....3.....4...4 Times and now Andrew with a pin....

ONE
.
.
TWO
.
.
THR.....

Wilden: And Serious kicks out, and folks, we almost had ourselves a new US Champion....

(Serious gets back up but Andrew Mendel goes right for a clothesline knocking SERIOUS back down to the mat.Now Andrew Mendel goes for a COMEBACK CLUTCH....)

Wilden: Mendel going for the Comeback Clutch early, BUT SERIOUS GRABS MENDEL AND GOES FOR A SMALL PACKAGE...

ONE
.
.
TW.....

Wilden: Mendel kicks out and both men back to their feet as Andrew Mendel looks a bit suprised...caught off guard, and quite frankly, I am caught off guard that Robbie hasn't said much tonight..

Hart: Why should I, there is nothing to get excited about, I lose no matter who wins!

Wilden: We need to book more matches like this.

(Serious bounces off the ropes with a Cross Body Dive to Andrew Mendel landing right into a pint)

ONE
.
.
TW....

Wilden: And Mendel kicks out again.

(Both men get to their feet as Serious picks Andrew up for a scoop slam right into a....)

Wilden: And a standing leg drop by Serious and once again, Serious goes for a cover....

ONE
.
.
TWO
.
.
T...

Wilden:Mendel kicks out, and you know Chazz Mendel has an interest in this match as Andrew Mendel will face Chazz at Cyberslam for the World Title and how intersting would it be if Andrew walked in with the U.S. Title....

(Serious picks Andrew up and tosses him against the ropes)

Wilden: Serious with the Irish Whip, Andrew bounces back and SERIOUS WITH A SERIOUS CHOKE SLAM!!!!!!!!!! And now Serious with another pin cover,

ONE

.
.
TWO
.
.
THR....

Wilden: And Andrew Mendel kicks out again....and Johnny can not believe it...

(Serious picks Andrew up and....)

Wilden: ANDREW MENDEL GOT SERIO'....NO, ANDREW BLOCKS THE MOVE, ELBOWS SERIOUS IN THE STOMACH AND NOW ANDREW BOUNCES OFF THE ROPES AND RETURNS WITH A FLYING FOREARM....I am sure Mr. Rich is on the edge of his seat because if Andrew wins the U.S. Title, then Mr. Rich loses his title shot against Johnny Serious at Cyberslam!

(Andrew climbs the top turnbuckle and hits a flying elbow drop off the top ropes. Andrew goes for the pin....)

ONE
.
.
TWO
.
.
THR....

Wilden: And Serious kicks out and this match continues....what a main event, entertaining, and Robbie Hart with his mouth shut....

Hart: I wish you would shut your mouth.

(Johnny Serious rolls out of the ring to catch his breath but Andrew Mendel quickly follows him.)

Wilden:Smart move by Andrew. He is not going to allow The U.S. Champ to get his composure....

(Andrew takes Serious and rams his head into the ring post.)

Wilden: And the ref with a really slow count...I think he wants to let this match go till the end and give the fans their money worth...he understands the importance of this match....

ONE

.
TWO

(Andrew takes Serious and Irish Whips him into the barricade)

THREE

.
FOUR
.

(Andrew rolls into the ring and back out, restarting the count..._

ONE
.

Wilden:Smart move by Andrew, paying attention to the count, not getting himself counted out.

Hart: The ref needs to speed up this count, nothing would be better then seeing both of these two losers lose!

Wilden: I liked you better when you were quiet.

TWO
.
.
THREE
.

(Andrew takes Serious and goes to Irish Whip Serious but....)

Wilden: Serious reverses and sends ANDREW MENDEL right into the STEEL STEPS. And now Serious rolls in the ring and back out....

(Serious picks Andrew up and Andrew quickly fights off Serious and kicks Serious in the gut. He then bashes his head into another steel post and now Serious is cut open.)

ONE

.
.TWO
.
.
.THREE
.

(Andrew Mendel rolls into the ring, climbs the top turnbuckle, and goes for a cross body dive into a stunned Serious but....)

Wilden: Serious CATCHES MENDEL AND....HITS A SERIOUS SLAM INTO THE ANNOUNCERS BOOTH...

Hart: What an idiot...he hurt himself in the process...MORON!

ONE
.

TWO
.
.
.THREE
.
.
.FOUR
.
.
.FIVE
.

Wilden: Serious now getting to his feet, picks Andrew Mendel up off the table and pushes Mendel in the ring, and then goes for a lazy tired pin cover, almost in desperation.

ONE
.

TWO
.
Wilden: And this could be it....
.
.THRE....

Wilden: And somehow, Andrew kicks out, knocking Serious over, and both men lay on the mat, hurt.....

(The crowd begins to clap their hands in support of both wrestlers....as Andrew Mendel slowly tries to get up.)

Wilden: And Serious with a kip up to his feet.....

(Serious goes to the top turnbuckle as Andrew Mendel slowly gets to his feet. Mendel turns around as slowly as Serious leaps off the Top Ropes with another cross body dive.....)

Wilden: ......AND SERIOUS DIVES OFF THE ROPES BUT ANDREW MENDEL WITH THE DRU MAX SUPERKICK OUT OF NOWHERE TO THE FLYING SERIOUS AND SERIOUS IS KNOCKED OUT....BUT ANDREW WITH NO STRENGHT, FALLS BACK DOWN TO THE MAT AND BOTH MEN ARE DOWN AND OUT....

("Tiger the Lion" cues on the PA as Chazz Mendel and Mr. Rich both fly down the ramp.)

Wilden: And what the hell are they doing down here!! Chazz Mendel and Rich sliding ont the ring, and they're stomping away on Andrew and Johnny Serious!!

DING DING DING!!!

Wilden: And this crowd is hopping mad as Rich pulls Serious out of the ring, but Serious firing back!!! Rich and Serious are fighting their way up the ramp as Chazz Mendel hauls up his brother into the corner and starts laying boots into him!! Can Chazz ever face his brother man to man in an even fight!!

Hart: It'll never be an even fight, Lance, Chazz will always be better, ya hear me!!! ALWAYS!!

Wilden: And now Chazz, bringing the battered Comeback Kid out of the corner and shoots him into the ropes, BUT ANDREW COMES BACK WITH THE THEZ PRESS!!! And now Andrew firing the right hands into the side of Chazz's face, but Chazz able to roll Andrew onto the back, and now he's raining down the right hands! Chazz Mendel now, hauls Andrew back to his feet, but again, Andrew firing back with the stiff knife edge chops!!

Hart: He can't do it, Lance! He can't beat Chazz!

Wilden: Sounds to me like your trying to convince yourself, Chazz with the boot to the stomach, and now he's set him up for the Dangerous DDT!!

Hart: Do it!! Do it Chazz!

Wilden: And now Chazz is pointing to the World Championship belt! He's going to DDT Andrew on the belt...BUT ANDREW BACK DROPS CHAZZ!!! Andrew gets out of it by back dropping Chazz, and now Andrew's back in the driver seat!! And look at the World Champion!! He's begging Andrew off!

Hart: He's not begging! He's reasoning!!

Wilden: He's on his knees, Robbie!! Chazz wants no part of the champion as he offers a hand, but Andrew is shaking his head no! Chazz wants no part of his big brother, the number one contender, but...oh, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE!!

Hart: YES!!

Wilden: REG JUST SLID INTO THE RING!! Andrew spinning around, AND REG WALLOPS HIM WITH A RIGHT HAND!!! DAMMIT!!! DAMMIT!!

Hart: Ha ha ha!!

Wilden: And...and Reg's hand is loaded up with brass knuckles!! And the World Champion is laughing!! Andrew's out like a light after the right handed shot from the brass knuckles!!

Hart: What brass knucks? I, I can't see...

Wilden: You damn sure can see them!! And now Reg hands Chazz a microphone! I don't want to hear from the despicable man!!

Chazz: *bends down close to Andrew's face* Hey. Hey big bro? What was that you were saying about me not being able to keep you down!?

(Chazz laughs maniacally as "Tiger the Lion" cues on the PA.)

Wilden: Andrew's face might've gotten caved in as he got hit with the brass knuckles! Another week, another damn cheap shot by Reg and Chazz Mendel!! We're out of time this week folks, for Robbie Hart, I'm Lance Wilden, and this just isn't fair!!

[Chazz Mendel looks down at the fallen CBK as the copyright information comes on the screen and the show goes off the air.]