[Devon Dice is seen walking in painters gear with a ladder and paint bucket. He sets the ladder up against the cWo sound truck and climbs it, setting the paint bucket up against the truck wall on the top rung. Dice begins to whistle as he opens the paint can. He dips the brush and starts to paint the truck wall. Dice completes the painting and the cWo logo is painted over and it reads "WGL." Dice climbs down the ladder with the items and begins admiring his work.]

Voice: HEY!!

[Dice gets startled and throws the paint bucket in a panic splattering everything in the nearby area, mostly himself before running off.]

Guard: GET BACK HERE!

[The security guard begins to chase after him]   

[The cWo logo flashes and spins past the screen, as it spins out of control and hits the camera, we see a crack in the camera as clips of cWo wrestlers spew out of the crack in the screen doing what they do best. Sevendust's "Driven" begins to play as we see clips of last week's program. A shot of Thaddeus Walker is shown, several clips from some of his matches and finally drinking from the bottle of honor. The camera then shows a shot on Thaddeus in front of a black backdrop and displays cWo's new slogan

I AM CWO

Clips of Jacob Baxter are shown, he’s shown in vignettes, being interviewed by Tiffany Tolberg, then destroying Zidane Starkiller in the ring. Baxter stands against a black backdrop and looks into the camera with the U.S. Title around his shoulder.

I AM CWO

Clips of Chastity McGavin’s first match are shown. Her ring entrance, her pinfall of dynamite, and her posing to her crowd. We then cut to Chastity standing against black.

I AM CWO

A highlight reel of Devon Dice is shown, dating back to the beginning of cWo, ending with him holding the world title prior to Cyber slam V. Dice then stands against the black backdrop

I AM CWO

A highlight reel of JJ Carter’s past in cWo is shown, including his feud with Christian Roman as well as his battles with The Wraith. Clips of him from Driven 18 are shown, along with Brother Shabazz, then JJ is shown against the black backdrop

I AM CWO

Clips of Muru begin. Muru is shown as the TV champion facing Sean Pason, then in a match with Stephanie Bliss, then pinning Notorious JON three times, culminating with him in the ring at Driven 18. The last shot is of him clutching Heretic in a King Crab submission hold at Cyberslam. Muru stands against the black backdrop

I AM CWO

Josh Cantrell’s highlights are played. He’s shown squaring off with Ryne Deth then facing off against Serious, Dangerous and Union. Clips are shown of his world title shot, then his return to the ring at Driven 22. Cantrell stands against a black background

I AM CWO

Johnny Serious' highlight reel begins, showing highlights such as going toe to toe with Nick Dangerous and Jack Union, defeating Lugo at Cyberslam V and briefly holding the cWo world title. The last clip is of him holding his now dubbed FCUK title in the air at Cyberslam. Johnny Serious stands against the black backdrop.

I AM CWO

A career highlight package of Heretic from his first appearance in cWo. Beginning with his two title wins to his return in 2007 to reform Omega with Notorious Jon and Jen Diamond. This is followed by several of big wins such as over Rey Pierce and Rick Steel, as well as him holding the tag titles with Notorious Jon. Ending with Heretic crippling Notorious Jon with a steel chair at Cyberslam. Heretic stands against the black backdrop.

I AM CWO

A highlight reel is shown of Chazz Mendel. He's shown confronting Jack Union, then hitting the Shooting Star Press on various cWo superstars, as well as him making Andrew Phillips tap at Cyberslam and finally holding up the cWo World Heavyweight title. Chazz Mendel stands against the black backdrop.

I AM CWO

Finally, a highlight package then pays of Andrew Phillips. Highlights are shown such as his TV title reign as Andrew Phillips, then clips of his battles with top cWo superstars, then a shot of him holding the US title, then returning to cWo and turning on Chazz Mendel. Several clips from Cyberslam are shown, such as him hitting the Drumax on Reg and Chazz Mendel as well as his several kick outs during that match. Andrew Phillips stands against the black backdrop with the World Title around his shoulder.

I AM CWO

[The fireworks go off in the Verizon Center as the camera pans across the crowd to reveal a everyone on their feet for the beginning of Driven. The camera spotlights sings such as "Bring Back Fiasco," "I came to see The Duke v.s. The GOK II" as well as "Time to GET SERIOUS." The camera then focuses on a very excited Robbie Hart and Lance Wilden at the announce position.]

Wilden: Welcome to Driven!  I'm Lance Wilden, joined as always by Robbie Hart, and we've got a tremendous show for you tonight!  We will be debuting several new cWo superstars!

Hart:  They won't pan out.

Wilden:  Robbie!

Hart:  I'm just saying what we're all thinking!

Wilden:  Also tonight we will see several established cWo superstars in action, and an explosive main event as Jacob Baxter defends the United States championship..

Hart;  You mean the fighting championship of the United Kingdom!

Wilden: … Against Johnny Serious.

Hart:  Nothing makes me happier than seeing Johnny Serious gets what's going to him!

Wilden:  Well, let's not waste any time in getting the action started!  Our match features the self-described "Succubus Of Sorel" in Jezebel against Yuni Yamagata and judging by Jezebel's promo earlier this week on cWo.com, this young lady appears to have some extremely serious issues to say the least.

Hart: Issues or no issues, I wouldn't mind having five minutes alone with her... she'd be begging me to marry her!

Wilden: It would only take you five minutes?

Hart: Nevermind. Let's just go to the ring.

Donna Dixon: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall... introducing first... from Sorel, Quebec, Canada... weighing in at 153 pounds... JEZEBEL!!!

[The lights go out and turn a crimson shade of red as we begin to hear "Counting Bodies Like Sheep To The Rhythms Of The War Drums" by A Perfect Circle play over the P.A. system. As soon as the words begin to play over the P.A. system, we see Jezebel come out from behind the curtain, decked out in a black Misfits T-Shirt with the white spooky face & blood spatter on it, black fishnet pantyhose on her arms a la Jeff Hardy, fingernails painted black, with baggy black pants with chains on them as she seems to be carrying a railroad spike covered with dried blood in her hands with a twisted, depraved look on her face. She then makes her way to the ring not even making eye contact with the fans and a very evil smile on her face. She slides in the ring on her stomach under the bottom rope before she climbs to the nearest turnbuckle and holds her bloody railroad spike in the air just gazing at it hypnotically as she spits in the direction of the fans and curses them in French. She then lays her railroad spike on the apron and sits down in the turnbuckle with a very unstable look in her eyes as she stares a hole through Yuni Yamagata, who's already in the ring.]

Donna Dixon: And her opponent...

[Suddenly, Jezebel charges Yuni and begins pummeling her with elbow strikes and a flurry of stiff Kawada style kicks, sending Yuni cowering into a fetal position in the corner.]

Wilden: It sure didn't take long for Jezebel to just come after Yuni and she's just annihilating her!

Hart: Poor, poor Yuni. She's in BIG trouble tonight.

Wilden: Now Jezebel waits for Yuni to get up before hitting her with some hard open-palm strikes before connecting a VICIOUS Spinning Back-Fist! This isn't a match... this is a damned maiming! Somebody stop this!

Hart: Jezebel's already given Yuni a black eye and a busted lip already in this match and she's like a shark that smells blood in the water now.

Wilden: Yuni just tried to get up and got met with a FIERCE Buzzsaw Kick to the head. I'm seriously starting to fear for Yuni's safety here! This is not good.

Hart: Depends on your outlook: This is good if you're Jezebel. Yuni, not so much as she tries to get up once again, only to be met with a running enzuigiri to the back of the head and Yuni's down face-first on the canvas!

Wilden: Yuni, STAY DOWN! It's not worth getting seriously injured, STAY. DOWN!

Hart: Now Jezebel forcefully picks her up and hits a VICIOUS 540 Kick to the head and that should do it! Jezebel's now going over to lock in her Cross-Armed Camel Clutch and Yuni doesn't appear to be putting up a fight as Jezebel keeps pulling away on the neck.

Wilden: The referee's calling for the bell and he's literally having to pry Jezebel off of Yuni. This is sickening to watch!

Donna Dixon: Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner... JEZEBEL!!!

Hart: Jezebel's still pacing the ring in anger as she seems to be... oh my GOD! She's got her railroad spike now!

Wilden: NO! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SOMEBODY STOP THIS!

Jezebel: Yuni' le sang de s est sur vos mains. Votre. Va te fair foutre. Mains. Comment se sent-il? Comment va-t-il foutre sensation, vous digue sans valeur?

Hart: We're gonna see some blood! This is gonna be...

Wilden: WAIT A MINUTE! Meghan Conklin comes out from the locker room to make the save, armed with a chair as she chases Jezebel out of the ring.

Hart: Damn that do-gooding lesbian!

Wilden: Now she's got a microphone, let's hear what she has to say.

Conklin: Now I may be the new girl on the block and all, but I have had enough of you for one night, Jezebel! I couldn't let you maim Yuni and I won't let you disfigure anyone here. I don't know if you didn't take your Zoloft today or what, but so help me, if you EVER try to pierce another female here with that spike, then there's going to be hell to pay!

Jezebel: Well, well, well... the do-gooding lesbian has to make the obligatory rescue, hmm? Well, Meghan... if you are so insistent on playing with fire, then let me warn you that you will be burned if you play with fire. Take this as an ultimatum to stay out of my business, or next time, it's going to be YOUR blood on the canvas.

[Jezebel then walks away down the ramp not taking her eyes off of Meghan who looks at Jezebel with her fists clenched.]

Hart: Well, Meghan Conklin may not have done the smartest thing tonight by standing up to Jezebel because after what happened to poor Yuni, I don't want to be anyone booked against Jezebel!
Wilden: Maybe so, but Meghan did the right thing tonight. Somebody had to stop her and thank God for Meghan Conklin.

Devon Dice: TW, you won't believe this!

Thaddeus: What's up, Mr. Dice?

Devon Dice: I was out mindin' my own business, paintin' our initials on a truck and then all the sudden here comes this lousy so and so and chases me away!

Thaddeus: What? You're simply trying to spread the joy of the World Gentleman's League to the people!

Dice: He doesn't think so.

Thaddeus: Applesauce! The folks love us! In fact, let's take this to a vote... fetch Chandler!

Dice: You got it, TW!

[Suddenly, they're approached by Dynamite, Zidane Starkiller and The Duke.]

Dynamite: Hey! You two clowns ain't the guys who wrote "WGL" on my RENTAL CAR, are you?

Thaddeus: We sure as Abraham were! I dare say the only vehicle out there above being branded by us is our own elongated coach!

Dynamite: It was a rental car!

Zidane: [Looks disappointed] I told you to buy the damn six dollar insurance.

Dynamite: Shut up, Zidane!

Thaddeus: Now if you fellas are finished, we've got official Word Gentleman's League business to take care of!

Dynamite: Alright then, but next week... you and your boys gotta face TEAM DYNAMITE!

Zidane: ...Team Dynamite?

Dynamite: That's right! Thaddeus Walker, we comin for you nigga!

Thaddeus: So be it. What shall be your recourse when the World Gentleman's League runs roughshot on your person?

[Dice and Thaddeus turn and walk away, leaving Dynamite and company confused.]

Dynamite: ...The hell did he just say?

Hart: Ha! The World Gentleman's League strikes again!

Wilden:  What are they even trying to accomplish?  They're just defacing property!

Hart:  They want everyone to know that this is WGL territory!

Wilden:  That's not a very gentlemanly thing to do, is it?

Hart:  Your….FACE isn't gentlemanly.

Wilden:  Real mature, Robbie.

Hart:  Yeah, shut you up.

Wilden:  We just saw Zidane Starkiller backstagr, but now we're going to see him in the ring  against another debuting superstar, Dakota Smith.

Hart: Dakota's a state, not a name!

Donna Dixon: The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first from Leicester, England. He is 6'2 and 190 pounds….ZIDAAAANE STAAARKILLEEERRR

['Tear Away' by Drowning Pool plays on the speakers and Zidane walks out to the top of the ramp. From there, he surveys the crowd and shakes his head, disappointed. He begins to walk down the ramp and leers at the fans in the front row. As he comes to the ring, children in the audience hold there hands out and try to touch Zidane. He leans closer to them, but pulls away before they can. He laughs at them and enters the ring by rolling between the middle and bottom rope]

Lance Wilden: Remember that Zidane has a pinfall victory over Josh Cantrell and since we haven't seen this Dakota person in action, we can see him get yet another win!

Robbie Hart: I hope so, if there is anyone who needs a good wining streak it is Zidane!

Dixon: And Now Introducing He hails from Chicago, IL He is 6'3 and 221 pounds… DAAAAAAAKOTA SMIIIIIIIIIIITH

["Take This Life" Starts to blast over the PA system… A couple of seconds past as the fans are mixed with boo's and cheers! Dakota Smith steps out from the back he smirks as he puts out both of his hands as Sparks drop down on top of him…Dakota Waits a couple of seconds before he starts to Walk to the ring. Dakota Gets half way down the ramp before he points to the ring and smirks he runs toward it.. When he gets to the ring he quickly slides in and goes for the left most corner he climbs up to the middle rope. He looks around before flipping off! Dakota then waits for the bell to ring.]

Lance Wilden: This looks to be a very confident new comer! He almost looks very cocky

Robbie Hart: Confidence is the only way to win a match against a legend like Zidane!

[The Bell sounds as the two men circle around the ring they met up in the middle.]

Wilden: Both men are getting into a grapple fighting for dominance! Dakota brings down his hands breaking the lock. Zidane Has a confused look on his face which is bitch slapped off of him. Zidane grabs his right cheek and falls down to one knee. Dakota stands over him and smirks, he then gives Zidane a slap over his head and grabs him by his hair.

Wilden: Oh come on now ref that is illegal

Hart: Shut up Lance! He is just doing what needs to be done! How do you know he even meant to do it?

Wilden: You have to be kidding me!The ref warns Dakota about pulling hair Dakota just shrugs moving his hand down to Zidane's neck. Dakota gives Zidane and big knee to the mid section which he follows with a knee to the face. He then backs up into the ropes! Zidane looks at Dakota holding his nose you can see that it is bleeding. Dakota just laughs as he bolts toward Zidane hitting him with a big Clothesline! Dakota then quickly hits a standing moonsault he goes for the pin!

Hart: I think he was busted open from the Knee!

Wilden: He could have just broke his nose!

Hart: Maybe Lance…Bu the one thing I have to say is that Dakota has so far been dominating this match!

ONE

TWO

Hart: Kick out!

Wilden: Kick out by Zidane… Dakota picks Him back up by his hair again but the ref does not notice! Dakota whips Zidane into the left turnbuckle! Dakota then goes to the right most turnbuckle and stands there waiting for the exact moment to hit Zidane! Zidane stands up from the turnbuckle and Dakota makes his move! He starts to run toward Zidane a spears him into the corner! Dakota backs up and Zidane falls in the turnbuckle sitting down!

Wilden: He just decapitated Zidane!

Hart: You can say that again! Zidane is hurt and Dakota is reaping the benefits!

[Dakota walks back up to the sitting Zidane, He Gives his a straight left punch to the top of the head!

Wilden: Dakota now picking up Zidane and dragging his almost lifeless body to the middle of the ring! Dakota lines up Zidane's chin…HE hits him with a hard superkick and then follows up by getting him into a high angle Boston Crab! Zidane quickly taps out to he vicious hold!

Hart: He calls that Combo The Dreaming Dark Express!

Wilden: And what a deadly combo that is!

Hart: Well Dakota Smith has won his debut match!

Dixon: And your winner is Dakota Smith!

[Dakota Lets go of the hold and smirks crouching over Zidane's legs! He stands up and the ref holds up his hand! Dakota whips his hair back and climbs out of the ring]

Wilden: That was quite the debut from Dakota. He just might be a new face to watch here in cWo!

Hart: He's still got a goofy name!  What is he, in the witness protection program?

Hostility

[Jason Duran stands backstage holding a microphone]

Jason Duran: Ladies and Gentleman, I'm joined at this time by the newest member of cWo's rapidly growing list of female talent. This young lady comes to us from Tokyo, Japan, please welcome Alishya Oni!

[Alishya walks into the picture in a tight pink tanktop with a skull on it showing off some but not all of her many tattoos, a black and pink plaid skirt with black fishnets, and knee high shiny PVC boots.]

Alishya: Please call me Phantasy, and I now make my home in Pittsburgh. I bought a home there when I first met Josh but only occupied it when I came to visit him. Now I will make it my permanent residence.

Jason Duran: The Josh you speak of is cWo superstar Josh Cantrell, right?

Phantasy: That is correct. Please do not ask me questions about him, I would like to keep my personal life just that, personal. I am here to further my career on my own.

Jason Duran: Without the help of your father, the very powerful Japanese businessman James Oni, am I right?

Phantasy: I would prefer not to talk about that either. Could we please talk about wrestling.

Jason Duran: I guess we can, last week you were involved in an altercation with Evette which resulted in you two ladies being banned from ringside for the Josh Cantrell vs. Mr. Rich Main Event. Is there any hostility on your part towards Evette?

Phantasy: No hostility. I just wanted to make things even.

Jason Duran: You were trying to protect Cantrell weren't you?

Phantasy: I said I did not wish to talk about him. I saw that the match was giving the older man an unfair advantage due to his female companion and I put a stop to that.

Jason Duran: But you wouldn't have done that if Mr. Rich had been facing someone else and Evette was helping him now would you?

Phantasy: You are not going to stop, I will end this interview now and find someone who wishes to talk about my career and not my personal life.

[Phantasy goes to walk out of the picture when she is tackled by Evette. Evette begins punching Phantasy in the face and pulling her hair. Phantasy manages to kick her off but Evette stomps her in the midsection and then mounts her again and begins clawing at her eyes. Security finally arrives on the scene and breaks the two ladies up with Phantasy shouting something in Japanese and Evette screaming.]
Evette: I do have some hostility! I want you in the ring next week!

[Security continues to hold the two screaming women back as the scene goes back to Lance Wilden and Robbie Hart.]

Wilden: It seems like our newest lady has already made an enemy out of Mr. Rich's wife Evette.

Hart: I hope Evette beats that ink off of her, some guys think tattoos are sexy but I prefer the look of Mar…

Wilden: We know who you prefer. Phantasy seemed rather defensive when it came to questions about "The Product of Hate" Josh Cantrell. What do you think that was all about?

Hart: I don't know, but I can't say I blame her. I hate talking about that guy too.

Wilden: We'll be right back with more cWo action!

[Commercial break]

Wilden:  And we're back! Up next, we will see another debuting superstar as…

[Lance is interrupted by "The  Maple Leaf Rag"  and the crowd boos as the members of the WGL come to the ring.]

Wilden:  Hold that though, it looks like we're gonna be joined by the World Gentleman's League!

Hart:  And not a moment too soon!  Who needs new blood when we have these guys?

[The WGL members climb into the ring.  Devon Dice, an ivory toothpick in his mouth, raises the mic to his mouth. He looks like he is going to speak, but then lowers the mic and looks around. Finally, he raises it back to his mouth and greats the crowd.]

Devon Dice: Hi there!

[Devon hands the microphone to Thaddeus Walker]

Thaddeus Walker: Ladies and gentlemen, if I may. I would like to conduct a brief census with all of you. Now, please indicate your choice by vocalizing loudly. How many of you fine folks came out here this very evening to see cWo [The crowd cheers] and how many of you have come to see the WORLD GENTLEMAN'S LEAGUE? [The crowd boos loudly. Thaddeus, Chandler and Dice confer, then Thaddeus comes to a decision.] I believe this round goes to the gentlemen!

[Chandler grabs the mic while writing on his clip board.]

Chandler: Okay, we know that the crowd is in favor of the World Gentlemen League as opposed to cWo. But let's really find out what that demographic is! How many people here have a degree? [Fans boo while Chandler checks on his clipboard and talks to himself.] Okay, well that is discouraging. How many of you are parents who are bringing your kids to a wrestling show [A mixture of cheers and boos can be heard!] That many? What is your problem Mr. and Mrs. American Mom and Dad? I know that for most of you, it was "just a mistake" and you probably aren't married or your just one of those silly divorced people. But come on. Wrestling shows are no place for children, they are a place for the less informed. Do you really not care that much for the future generation, that you are going to bring them up on "this?" The American parent is so jaded, you think a TV is a babysitter but never once encourage your children to read a book. I believe you are so bitter at your own mistakes that you are setting up your children to do worse in life than you so you don't feel so "lost in the shuffle." That is why the American family is dead because parents care more about themselves than their children's personal well being! That is why we are here! The World Gentlemen's League's goal is that of restoring old values that has long been lost in America. We finally give your children a group of men to look up to and want to be like. No longer will they look up to the blue collar minimum wage worker. But they'll look up to a graduate, a former champion, and the most refined gentlemen that Coney Island has ever produced! Now, for those of you at home... it is now safe to put your V-chip back on and read to your kids a nice long Dickens story, but my suggestion is to do it in serial form because that is the way he used to publish them! And if you don't agree with my above statement, I have a math equation for you: X[8+-7] - 7[Y+44]!

Dice: Hi there, Chico.

Thaddeus: Chico? What'd I tell you about speakin' that Moonspeak!

Dice: It's spanish..

Thaddeus: MOONSPEAK!

Dice: Hi there, chaps. You are all aware of my identity, but you are unaware of my intentions. Where is Raymond Jacobson, chaps? Why, I fear he is not even in the building. I however, can go to whatever destination I so choose! Where's that rouge Jason Duran, for I have quite a humdinger of a newspeice for him! Chaps, if a war shall be neccesary, than a war shall come post haste!

Thaddeus: Let me inform you of this, my brethren, when you're WGL, you're WGL for the remainder of all your days! And now, I shall unveil a symbol of support for the World Gentleman's League, one that can be formed with your very hands! As we consider ourselves above equal, I have devised a rather ingenious hand symbol, simply raise your index finger to the sky!

[Thaddeus, Chandler and Dice all hold up one finger, then poke each other in the chest. "The Maple Leaf" rag begins to play as the members of the WGL continue to flash their ingenious hand sign as they exit the ring and head towards the back.]

Hart:  The innovation continues!

Wilden:  I don't even know what to say about this.

Hart:  Because you're floored by the genius!

Wilden: New blood continues to flow within the veins of the cWo as we're about to see first hand yet another fresh face here tonight taking on Dynamite!

Hart: You're gonna have to call this whole match Lance.

Wilden: I call all of every match Robbie.

Hart: Well you're gonna be doing double duty this time!

Wilden: I'm always doing double duty! But why am I doing double duty this particular time?

Hart: 'Cause I don't know anything about this guy!

Wilden: Well he was first seen in an exclusive segment on the cWo website after signing his contract.

Hart: I saw that.

Wilden: Then what's not to know?

Hart: I don't speak redneck, I don't know anything about him.

Wilden: Oh please...

Hart: I'm serious, I'm fluid in spanish, I can speak a little french but I don't know a thing of redneck.

Wilden: I don't even believe you can speak a word of any language, regardless for those of us who aren't too ignorant to pay attention I found watching Barrett Hawk's genuine appreciation for this opportunity to be very refreshing. Dynamite's in the ring right now ready to go so let's watch this!

Dixon: The following match is scheduled for one fall..first, with me in this ring, Dynamite!

["Simple Man" by Lynyrd Skynyrd hits the PA. Once the song begins to pick up steam and Johnny Van Zandt begins to sing, Barrett Hawk comes out from the entrance-way, sporting a cowboy hat, while he clutches the top corners of an American Flag to his wrists, keeping his hands to his shoulders, wrapping the flag around him as he walks down the aisle, taking a hand off his shoulder to wave at the fans as he makes his way towards the ring.]

Wilden: I spoke to this gentleman before the show and he's a very humble individual, very respectful.

Hart: Well unless you wanna be my translator I'll never know.

Wilden: Come off it Robbie!

Dixon: And his opponent, weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds, he hails from Sulphur, Oklahoma, he is Barreeeeeett Hawk!

[Once in the ring he stands on the second rope, and raises both arms in the air, dropping the American flag with both hands showing a gesture of love. Before he comes off the second rope he throws his hat to the audience. His music fades as he stands at a corner opposing Dynamite as referee Aaron Blake gets in the center and calls for the bell.]

[DING DING DING.]

Wilden: Well I'm going into this match as fresh as the fans are, as I don't know too much about this youngster's history. Wrestled in his share of local promotions over the last half a decade roughly.

[Barrett offers a handshake in the center of the ring, as Dynamite slowly approaches.]

Wilden: Like I said before, the man's a gent, seems cWo's running low on those lately.

Hart: Yeahhh yeahhh.

[Dynamite comes up to Barrett as he waves his arms around him in a circle as he shouts "BOOM!"]

Wilden: Dynamite not taking to Barrett's southern hospitality.

Hart: I'm pretty sure he's mildly retarded.

Wilden: Very astute observation Robbie, not discriminatory in the slightest as Barrett and Dynamite circle one another. The two closing in now and-

[Hawk takes Dynamite down quickly with a schoolboy pin.]

ONE

Wilden: Dynamite kicks out quickly, Hawk executed that schoolboy very quickly, follows up with a fireman's carry, he told me earlier that he's more of a grappler, this one.

[Barrett keeps Dynamite grounded with a chinlock but Dynamite quickly pulls out.]

Wilden: Dynamite uses his thin form to escape from Barrett's attempts to ground him, choosing to get up and back right away from him!

[Dynamite backs himself in the corner as Barrett sits on his knees with a smile on his face, clapping his hands together.]

Hart: What's he clappin' for?

Wilden: Like I said he's a polite guy.

Hart: There's polite and then there's just being a goody goody, this guys a goody goody! Get mean!

[Barrett gets to his feet as Dynamite remains in his spot in the corner.]

Wilden: Barrett approaching Dynamite with caution...

[Barrett from out of nowhere attempts to ram his shoulder into Dynamite's gut, but Dynamite hops over it.]

Wilden: Great footwork from Dynamite!

[Barrett turns around, as Dynamite attempts a monkey flip.]

Wilden: Dynamite trying for a monkey flip but Barrett is supporting his weight, that's not gonna work!

[Barrett lifts Dynamite up looking for a spinebuster, but Dynamite squirms out of it again and lands on his feet.]

Wilden: Dynamite using his dexterity again! And a thumb to the eyes, that's real nice!

Hart: Goody goody's gonna get beat by Dynamite on his first match!

Wilden: Well Dynamite just blew this match up into a fight.

Hart: I like what you did there.

Wilden: Thank you, Dynamite stomping away into the chest of Barrett Hawk like his life depends on it. He's been trying to get his name on the map for a while now.

Hart: This certainly won't put him there.

Wilden: Any win in the cWo will garner you attention. He'd be stupid not to try Robbie!

[There's a quiet "Let's Go Hawk" chant heard from a group in the crowd as Dynamite pulls Barrett from the corner.]

Wilden: Dynamite surprisingly with the upperhand for longer than we're used to, as he picks Barret up!...scoop slam, he's down! Lateral press!

ONE

Wilden: Kickout, barely a one as Barrett tries to shake off the cobwebs.

[Dynamite stands up and surveys the crowd around him, as he enthusiastically shouts "BOOM!" and begins winding his right arm up.]

Hart: He's gonna wrap this up and make history! This could be his first win! Ever. In his whole life!

[Barrett gets up to one knee as Dynamite runs to the rope, and charges Barrett with a running forearm.]

Wilden: Look out Barrett! No! Whoa! WHOA! Did you see that? Looked like Barrett was going for a flapjack but RAILED Dynamite with a European Uppercut on his way down!

[After landing on his neck, Dynamite lays motionless with his back curled up and his knees
touching the mat as Barrett goes for a jacknife pin.]

Wilden: Is this it?

ONE

TWO

Wilden: Kickout!

[Barrett moves quickly into his next move following the kickout.]

Wilden: Going for the Texas Cloverleaf right away now! He told me move has done him a lot of favors in prior organizations, and it looks like it's doing him good here, Dynamite tapped out quick!

DING DING DING

["Simple Man" hits the PA system once again as Aaron Blake raises Barrett's right arm, Barrett punches the air with his left arm victoriously as he graciously shakes Aaron's hand.]

Wilden: Looked like he had the TV jitters initially in the match but he got it together in the end, and looks to have caught the fans attention with that fierce European Uppercut!

Hart: Why don't you tell us more about your conversation with him earlier Lance?

Wilden: I'm just providing some background, doing my job.

Hart: Well I've known him for almost ten minutes and I'm already starting to get sick of hearing about him.

Wilden: I just think he's a promising individual, and I hope he continues on this path to find success in the cWo.

Wilden: Well folks we're gonna take a quick break from the action, as I'm given word that John Pilchard has moved on quickly from his last journalistic expedition.

Hart: It was truly something wasn't it? He boldly moved us into a new era didn't he now?

Wilden: I hate to admit it, but he truly did uncover some truly dastardly things being done under Andrew Fiasco's watch, but that's behind us now.

Hart: You know let me stop you right there, Lance, as I can see your cherished memories of the Fiasco you thought you knew is starting to get you all teary eyed. I'll take it from here because I've already watched this segment five times. John Pilchard sent us a pre-recorded announcement from Nick Dangerous' hometown of Edmonton, Alberta, at Nick's gym! Yes! Nick Dangerous' wrestling school!

Wilden: Makes me sick.

Hart: Sssh, if there are any aspiring wrestlers out there watching, listen, because this is huge.

[The screen fades to black as it opens to John Pilchard, standing before a camera with a mic in hand at the front of an aged looking building.]

Pilchard: This is John Pilchard reporting and I have some questions for you. Are you a fan of cWo, but looking to be something more? Feel you got what it takes to be a wrestling force but don't know where to go to realize that dream? Well look no further. The Nick Dangerous school of wrestling is open for business and welcoming all comers! So whether your rooted locally here in Edmonton, or if you're from the United States of America, even if you're catching us from overseas, if you have a doctor's note admitting physical approval of being a professional wrestler, and are over eighteen years of age, then come on down! This program is just under two weeks long, and Nick has gone as far as to GUARANTEE that in less than two weeks, you will be on cWo television! Wanna get famous? Live out your dreams, send me an email for more information, just send an email to John Pilchard underscore journalism at large at hotmail dot com!

[The email address displays at the bottom of the screen as the clip ends.]

Hart: Isn't that huge?

Wilden: I don't like this at all.

Hart: What this time?

Wilden: I don't know how Nick Dangerous or John Pilchard can be so confident that they can get these students, if they get any on cWo tv in less than two weeks.

Hart: Well you'd be an idiot to doubt Pilchard at this point, we already know he's not one to make false promises.

Wilden: I'm just gonna say I don't like the looks of it and leave it at that.

Hart: Smart of you not to wanna debate it.

[Jason Duran is standing in the backstage area eagerly waiting to get a hold of a recently victorious wrestler or a deflated loser for a few rating-grabbing words. Suddenly he is distracted. Jason turns around to face what sounded like some sort of garden water feature]

Jason Duran: What the-?

[Standing there, just ten feet behind him, is a man wearing a long black trench-coat and a matching top hat lined with polo mints. Jason Duran can't see this person's face for he is facing the wall, urinating]

???: OHHHHHHHHH, that's good. I've been waiting for this, I can tell ya. It's coming out of me like a green cable.

[Duran, a look of disgust on his face, walks over to the mystery person who looks as if he has come straight out of a Charles Dickens novel. Just as this strange man has finished urinating on the wall [on which there is now a bright green dripping streak], Duran taps him on the shoulder]

Jason Duran: Excuse me, Sir.

[The mystery man spins around, revealing a crooked green face and long, stringy white hair. He has a frighteningly broad grin on his face. One of his eyes is covered by an abnormally large polo. Jason Duran seems set aback by his appearance. The mystery man replied in a thick, exaggerated cockney accent]

???: Can I do something for ya, my boy? You caught me having a gypsy's.

Jason Duran: A what?

???: A gypsy's kiss.

Jason Duran: …

???: A piss.

Jason Duran: Oh, yes, that's what I actually wanted to talk to you about. I saw you hanging around earlier and I decided to turn a blind eye. But if you're going to do things like that I'm afraid I'm going to have to call security to take you away.

[The mystery man lets out a big laugh that sounds like fingernails being dragged over a chalkboard]

???: I'm not loiterin', my boy. Baboo Yagoo at your service. I believe I've got a wrestling match coming up later tonight against a poor sod called The Duke. He's gunna get what's comin' to 'im, I can tell ya.

Jason Duran: You're a wrestler?

Baboo Yagoo: I know a thing or two about fightin', my boy, and that's no pork pie. Now if ya don't mind I'm gunna get ready to deal with this septic tank you've got me fightin'.

[Baboo Yagoo walks away from the cWo interviewer, leaving him quite bemused. The camera cuts to the ring where The Duke is already standing, rubbing his hands together and awaiting his debuting opponent]

Hart: What was all that about?

Wilden: I don't know but Baboo Yagoo made Jason Duran speechless, which is no mean feat.

[Suddenly the lights go out and, simultaneously, an evil, booming laugh resonates around the arena. The lights go a misty green as "The Hitcher Song" by The Mighty Boosh begins to play. A spark shoots from the entranceway and from within it jumps Baboo Yagoo]

 Wilden: Here is Baboo Yagoo. It is his debut match in the cWo and it's going to be interesting to see what he's capable of.

Hart: His face seemed old when we saw him earlier but he seems to be moving with an eerie quickness on the stage right now.

[Surely enough Baboo Yagoo is stalking around the stage, taking small, quick steps, hunched over slightly, letting his long coat flow behind him. He has an unsettling grin on his face as he makes his way down to the ring. He walks up the ring steps, never taking his eyes off of The Duke.  The Duke calls for the mic]

The Duke:  WHO is this… POODY ROO?

Wilden: Looks like we're almost ready.

Hart: This should be interesting.

[As soon as the bell rings Baboo throws his top hat into the air and, while The Duke was distracted, gave him a hard boot to the mid-section.]

Wilden:  Quick attack by Yagoo!  Now Yagoo lifts The Duke and connected with a big body slam !  He bounces off of the ropes and lands a high leg drop, now he floats into a lateral press

ONE

TWO

Wilden: Comfortable kick out by The Duke.

Hart: I like Yagoo's style, Lance.

Wilden: Baboo Yagoo helps The Duke to his feet and lifsd him for another body slam. The Duke slips out of the back and landed behins him. The Duke now lifts Yagoo and connects with a high-angled back drop. The Duke takes his opportunity and pounces on Yagoo, not allowing him to get to his feet. The Duke now showing his superior technical ability, locking The Evil Cockney Nutjob up in a variety of different holds.

Hart:  I HEAR THE DUKE!

Wilden:  Yagoo reaches the ropes, and now the referee is forcing them apart.  Yagoo takes a big swing at The Duke, but he ducks, grabs Yagoo and nails a northern lights suplex, now bending into a bridge!

ONE

TWO

Wilden: Oh! Yagoo almost lost his debut match there."

Hart: "That would have been embarrassing."

Wilden: Groggily, Yagoo reaches his feet. The Duke runs at him and went for a jumping bulldog! Yagoo managed to stay on his feet and, in a backdrop position, manages to send the Duke flying forward right onto the ropes, landing hard on his groin!

Hart:  Is that even legal?

Wilden: The referee isn't happy but Yagoo is claiming it was unintentional. He can't really be disqualified because it was The Duke who initiated the move! Baboo Yagoo grabs Duke in a headlock and, on the ref's blindside, sticks a thumb in his eye. Duke yelled out in pain and pushed Yagoo into the ropes. On the rebound Yagoo connects with a running butt thump, knocking The Duke through the ropes and down to the outside. The Duke gets  to his feet and Yagoo going for a baseball slide. Duke evades this attack, grabbing Yagoo's feet and pulling him out onto the floor. Baboo Yagoo landed on his back hard!  Now the referee is counting

ONE

TWO

Wilden: The Duke picks up Yagoo up and rams him back-first into the barricade!

THREE

FOUR

Wilden: The Duke smashes Yagoo's face into the ring steps and then rolls him into the squared circle. Yagoo crawling across the ring like a scared dog, trying to escape The Duke. Yagoo going  to the turnbuckle, now desperately clawing at the middle pad. It fealls off off, exposing the metal joint We're now one turnbuckle pad short. I hope the referee spots that!

Hart: The Duke is going in for the kill.
 
Wilden: The Duke connects with a double underhook suplex and then starts to climb to the top rope. At this point the referee sees the exposed turnbuckle and begins to tie the padding back on. Yagoo gets to his feet lethargically. The Duke jumps from the top rope, looking for an axehandle smash, and Yagoo performs a blatant soccer kick to the groin! Illegal move!

Hart: He just kicked his boys into his stomach.

Wilden: The Duke jumps around the ring, doubled over, holding his privates in agony. Baboo Yagoo sees his opportunity and floors his opponent with a swinging neckbreaker. The cover!

ONE

TWO

THREE

DING DING DING

Donna Dixon:  Here is your winner, Baboo Yagoo!

Wilden: It's all over. By using underhanded tactics Baboo Yagoo managed to come out of his debut match victorious. By right The Duke should have won that bout in my opinion. Thoughts?"

Hart: A win's a win, Lance. If Baboo Yagoo is happy with it, I'm happy with it.

[The Evil Cockney Nutjob swiftly exits up the ramp and the fans boo the newcomer]

[Backstage we see newcomer Barrett Hawk wiping the sweat from his head with a towel as he walks to the backstage area, when he pushes open the locker room door there's a woman standing there with a young child.]

Woman: Surprise, Barrett!

Hawk: Charlene..what're ya doin' here!

Charlene: Thought we'd pay ya a visit on your first day o' work to congrulate you.

Hawk: I 'ppreciate it honey but a phone call'a done ya.

Charlene: I thought you'd be happy to see us?...

Hawk: I am hon', believe me I am but there're some dangerous folk 'round here. No surprise is worth jeopardizin' my family.

[Suddenly fellow newcomer Mike Logan shows up to the scene.]

Logan: Well well well, who is this fine little mamacita right here?

Hawk: I'm just makin' conversation with my family.

Logan: Family, eh? Well, allow me to introduce myself to your "family," I am the man of your wildest dreams, but you can call me Mike Logan.

Charlene: The name's Charlene Thompkins.

[Charlene offers a handshake to Logan.]

Logan: My pleasure, Ms. Thompkins.

[Logan takes Charlene's hand as he raises it to his mouth and gives it a kiss, as Charlene tries to pull away Logan gives her another kiss above the wrist, and works his way up for another kiss before Barrett pulls her away.]

Hawk: Now that we're all acquainted it's about time to say goodbye Mr. Logan.

Logan: I'm just being friendly, Barrett Hawk is it? I just came to say that I saw you out there and you've got spunk, lots of spunk, I saw the ladies in the audience and they were swooning for you!

Hawk: Yeah well that's all well 'n' good but that ain't why I came 'round here. Now if you don't mind.

[Hawk has Charlene and his son by the hand as he tries pushing past Logan, but he backs up and puts his hands on Hawk's shoulders, stopping him.]

Logan: Hang on, hang on! Listen, let's you and I talk privately here for a second.

[Barrett rolls his eyes.]

Hawk: 'Scuse me hon'.

[Cameras follow as Logan pulls Barrett aside, and talks quietly to him.]

Logan: Look I'm not kidding, I know women, lots of women, everywhere from Paris to Des Moines and everywhere in-between and I'm talkin' hundreds. Your girlfriend? She's nice and all, but she's no ten. You got attention now, kid, all I gotta do is call 'em and they'll come chomping at the bits ready drop their panties for you if they have to, just to see you perform just for them.

Hawk: Alright Mr. Logan it's been good meeting you but I wouldn't be upset if we were to never make words wit' each other ever again. Charlene! Let's get goin' here, the quicker the better!

Charlene: Ain't ya gonna get changed?

Logan: Yeah, why don't you hit the showers, kid?

Hawk: I'll get changed at the motel, let's get goin' right now.

[Commercial]

[Backstage in the interview area, Tiffany Tolberg is conversing with Mary-Joe Wolf, who is giving her some advice.]

Mary-Joe: Interviewing is such a cliche thing for them to be having you do! You shouldn't be interviewing people in a company such as this, you should be out there instead of Lance Wilden and he should be in here interviewing people!

[Suddenly, off camera, a voice can be heard.]

Female voice: Hey Mary-Joe!

[Mary-Joe turns as a stumbling Maddie goes for an attack on Mary-Joe but misses!]

Mary-Joe: WHAT THE HELL!

Maddie: I'm going...

[Maddie gets up slams Mary-Joe against the wall, right as JJ Carter and Shabazz come in to pull her off the female lawyer.]

Shabazz: Jesus Maddie, she isn't worth it! She is just a mouth piece!

[They hold her back as Mary-Joe gets back up and looks at the two men.]

Mary-Joe: That's right, hold her down, keep her from expressing herself. God knows that she wants to kick my ass, but it is her right as a woman to do so. Who are you not to let her? Her keepers? A woman doesn't need a keeper!

Carter: You should be greatful we are holding her back, she would be clawing at you right now!

[Maddie is still struggling in the two men's arms as Diamond and Chastity appear next to Mary-Joe.]

Diamond: I see you two are trying to keep your mut on a leash again!

[Shabazz let's Maddie go as Carter holds her down and takes her away as Brother Shabazz faces Jen Diamond and the other two women.]

Shabazz: You know, it's bad enough we have a female elitist and her mute sidekick running around telling people how they should and shouldn't act. The last thing we need is a woman who thinks she is a victim to men's abuse getting involved to. You signed up for this stuff, getting your ass kicked by someone was bound to happen and then last week you cry about it!

Diamond: I was far from crying! I am not going to tolerate, you men and your crap anymore!

Shabazz: Fine, then you wouldn't mind getting in the ring with me next week.

[Jen and Shabazz stare down for a few seconds until Jen nods her head at him.]

Diamond: Your on!

Shabazz: Great! If I were you I'd prepare to feel some de javu though, because you are going to get beat by a man once more.

[Shabazz smiles and walks away as Jen looks on with Chastity and Mary-Joe at her side.]

[We go backstage where Jason Duran is standing next to the cWo FCUK Champion, Jacob Baxter. Baxter stands tall with the FCUK title draped on his right shoulder, under that he sports his own cWo shirt and a pair of jeans. Baxter stares down Jason Duran who looks a little uncomfortable. Baxter nods at Duran]

Baxter: Jason.

Duran: [nods back] Jacob.

Baxter: I do believe you mean Mr. Baxter.

Duran: Uhh…sorry, Mr. Baxter.

Baxter: That's quite all right. Learn a little more about respect next time, Jason. I think I've earned it.

Duran: You absolutely have. May I ask you a couple questions?

Baxter: Yeah, sure thing.

Duran: First of all, why did you feel you had to change the United States Championship to the Fighting Championship of the United Kingdom?

Baxter: Were you in the bathroom during my pontification last week? This is me making a statement and a name for myself here. Never has anyone in cWo had the bullox to pull off what I've done. I can now say I am the first and most probably only Fighting Champion of the United Kingdom here. I can say I hold a title that no other competitor has managed to acquire.

Duran: But that's just the United State title with…

[Baxter gets in Duran's face giving him a deathly stare that stops Duran mid-sentence]

Baxter: PARDON?

Duran: I…I mean…it's totally separated from the United States Championship lineage. Absolutely a historic feat, Mr. Baxter.

Baxter: That's right. Little bugger. And as I said, I've now got my name etched in the history books of this place and have something to boast over everyone else.

Duran: Now with that, how have you prepared for your match against Johnny Serious tonight?

Baxter: Johnny Serious should thank his lucky stars that I've allowed him to be the first to compete against me for the Fighting Championship of the United Kingdom. I took that bloke's head off with a Hooligan Kick at Glory. Who knew he would come to eventually?

Duran: Technically. I'm sure he's looking for revenge from that loss and his losing of the US title.

Baxter: Codswallop! You saw Glory, he was too busy watching Pilchard and Dangerous on the telly to care about the sake of his own championship! Then look what happened. But, I am a fighting champion, as I've emphasized. He wants this match? So be it. Although we all know where his head is at.

Duran: Lastly, in the event you defeat Johnny Serious tonight, do you think you'll accept Josh Cantrell's challenge for the Fighting Championship of the United Kingdom?

Baxter: Jason, I think you meant WHEN Johnny Serious is defeated tonight. Cantrell? What has he done since coming back? He's failed epically at his attempts at becoming something. His biggest deal was defeating Mr. Rich. The man has money, but he doesn't have this [point to FCUK title]. Cantrell's going to have to work harder and show me something good. I think there are others more worthy of a challenge than him. Hey, did you see when Starkiller beat him? Impressive.

[Baxter laughs to himself and shakes his head]

Baxter: D'you know what the problem is with Cantrell though? I've heard about his past here in cWo and what he's achieved. But that doesn't mean a thing today to me. And his name calling doesn't make him look any better. Although I'm sure Jack Union, being a fellow Brit, was a great man. Cantrell looks like a shell of his former supposedly "great" self. Just like Serious, his head isn't in the game. He's being twirled around Nick Dangerous' finger. To top it off, he's been thinking with his other head with this female he's getting involved with. Yeah, it's probably not any of my business. But maybe I'll do Cantrell a favor here. Joshua, if you think having a woman in your life around here is the pathway to something great like what I have achieved, you need to set your priorities straight! Woman are not ones to be trusted. They have this control over men and will use us to take care of their own agenda. All you have to do is look around at the chaos they've caused here! Snog 'em, shag 'em, send 'em home, Joshua. Then maybe you'll be on the path to something good.

[Jason Duran smiles and nodding in agreement]

Duran: I hear you, Mr. Baxter!

[Duran holds out his fist looking for a bump. Baxter looks a it all bewildered]

Baxter: What do you want me to do with that?

[Duran emphasizes a bumping motion with his fist. Baxter raises his hand, grabs Duran's fist, and moves it to set against Duran's forehead and walks away. Duran watches Baxter walk off with his fist still up against his head]

Hart:  HAH! Look at Jason!

Wilden:  Folks, we just heard some strong words from Jacob Baxter.  I've just been informed that tonight, the FCUK Title match between Baxter and Serious will be a No Interference match!

Hart:  No interfearence, what?

Wilden:  It makes things more even!  This time it's JUST Jacob Baxter AND Johnny Serious!

Hart:  Baxter doesn't need help to beat that bum! He's done it before and he'll do it again!

Wilden:  Well folks, we've seen some impressive debuts here tonight, and up next we will see a a rather brash young man who certainly had some strong words for the cWo last week in the self-professed "Sexual Intellectual", Mike Logan.

Hart: Lance, face it, this guy's everything a woman could ever want. He's got the physique, the looks, the charm, the success. Hell, I wanna be, I wanna be like Mike!

Wilden:  During he break, Lord Crazy had his usual fanfare and introduction, and he's currently taking his armor off in the ring.  Let's go to Donna Dixon for the introduction.

Donna Dixon: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall... introducing first... standing at 6'2" and weighing at a self described "243 pounds of walking, talking sex appeal"... from Hamilton, Ontario, Canada... "The Sexual Intellectual"... MIKE... LOGAN!!!

The lights dim and turn a cherry shade of red as "The Stroke" by Billy Squire begins to play over the P.A. system as we see "The Canadian Gigolo" Mike Logan emerge from behind the curtain wearing a long sleeveless black and red rhinestone robe with red and black short wrestling trunks plus sunglasses. He then looks out at the fans with a smirk before gyrating his hips as the fans immediately begin to boo loudly upon his arrival. Mike then smirks at the fans and begins to strut in a very arrogant and cocky manner toward the ring. He then spots a camera and flexes a bicep for the camera before kissing it and resuming his walk to the ring. He stops to occasionally look out at the crowd with a brash smile on his face. He finally makes his way up the ring steps and walks along the apron before pausing and gyrating his hips again to more boos before he flicks the sunglasses into the crowd. He then struts to the middle of the ring and begins to do a pose, flexing his muscles as red pyro shoots out from the turnbuckles. Still smirking at the fans and their disdain, Mike removes his robe and leans up against the turnbuckles awaiting his opponent as the music dies down and Mike Logan motions for Donna Dixon to leave the ring as he takes the microphone to thunderous round of boos from the fans.

Mike Logan: Thank you all for the applause! You love me... you REALLY... REALLY... LOVE ME!

[The fans boo louder and chant the words "ASS-HOLE! ASS-HOLE!" at Mike as he just smirks at them as he begins to speak.]

Mike Logan: Good to see the people of Raleigh just recently learned how to say words in syllables. And here I thought you all were nothing but inbreeds, but that's beside the point. In all seriousness, I am out here to tell you all that the cWo has thrown me another chump that looks like he belongs in a Ninja Turtle costume contest. I mean, you call yourself "Lord Crazy"? Is that supposed to scare me or something? Well, I'll tell you what I'll do since I don't feel like completely humiliating you in front of all these people.

[Mike pauses before he continues to speak.]

Mike Logan: The way I see it, you've got two options. You can either spare yourself the beating you're surely going to get once that bell rings, or you can do what you do best and take a heaping helping of punishment from yours truly. So what's it gonna be?

[Lord Crazy looks at Logan, then looks at the crowd before looking back at Logan and slapping him in the face. Mike just smirks at him as he takes the microphone and begins to speak.]

Mike Logan: Son, you just made a big mistake.

[With that, Mike Logan hits Lord Crazy in the head with the microphone before tossing it into the crowd as the bell rings.]

Wilden: Oh come on! That was a cheap shot by Mike Logan!

Hart: Who cares? He's doing what I would have done in that situation!

Wilden: Right, Robbie. Belly-To-Belly Suplex there by Mike Logan as he stands up with a smirk on his face and proceeds to do the Logan Stomp.

Hart: Look at him, Lance! He's just oozing with charisma and machismo as he lays in these boots to Lord Crazy.

Wilden: And what a surprise, after he finishes stomping him, he simply gyrates his hips to the females in the audience, who don't seem to be taking to Mike Logan too well.

Hart: These women don't know what they're missing out on. And now he's picking Lord Crazy up and smacking him around before he does a quick snapmare here.

Wilden: He's driving one forearm, then another, then another... and he's once again posturing to the fans! This guy is SO full of himself it's unbelievable!

Hart: Come off of it, Lance! He's just that good! Now he picks up Lord Crazy and executes a picture perfect Cobra Clutch Russian Leg Sweep and he quickly follows that up with a Reverse Chin Lock.

Wilden: And now Mike Logan's got the hold cinched in and is pulling back on the neck before letting go and kicking Lord Crazy in the small of the back! Now that's just uncalled for!

Hart: And now he hits one standing legdrop, followed by another, and then he shakes his hips again for the females in the audience before kicking Lord Crazy in the head and hitting a third legdrop!

Wilden: He could end this at any time but I think Mike Logan's just merely enjoying this right now. He's got him up for a suplex, springing Lord Crazy's feet off the ropes for a Slingshot Suplex! And NOW he's calling for "The Ego-Stroke"!

Hart: Look at him! He's cupping his hand next to his ear to hear the fans applause before he does the move! What a charismatic wrestler!

Wilden: To me that sounds like booing, but now he's got Lord Crazy in position, gyrating his hips again before hitting the Uranage Backbreaker followed by the Spinning Complete Shot he calls "The Ego-Stroke" and this one is mercifully over!

Hart: Count it, ref!

ONE

TWO

THREE

Donna Dixon: Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your-

[Mike Logan then takes the microphone rudely from Donna as he looks at her and begins to speak.]

Mike Logan: Why don't you let "The Sexual Intellectual" take it from here, doll-face? Ladies and Gentlemen... here is your winner... forget Justin Timberlake, he's the one who really brought "sexy back"... "The Sexual Intellectual"... The man of all you ladies' wet dreams... MIKE LOGAN!

[The fans boo even louder as Mike just smirks out at them as he takes the microphone and begins to speak.]

Mike Logan: Thanks for all your great support, you've been a beautiful audience! Now it's time for me to go back to the hotel with the only ten attractive women in Raleigh all dying for a taste of my vanilla-flavored... "yogurt". Ladies, I'll be staying at the Radisson Hotel in room 231, so I'll see you there! With that, Mike Logan has just left the building!

[Mike drops the microphone in the ring much to the disdain of the fans as they all chant "ASS-HOLE!" at him all the way back to the locker room.]

Wilden: This guy gets more and more egotistical each passing week. I can't wait for this guy to get his come-uppance!

Robbie Hart: Well, by the looks of things, you're gonna be waiting for a while!

[The scene opens backstage with Morgan stretching for her match, when Mad Maddie approaches her.]

Morgan: ...Can I help you?

Maddie: No you can't f*BEEP*ing help me!

Morgan: Then therere must be some other reason your interrupting me.

Maddie: I'm here to tell you that I make my debut, bitch. And tonight you, you and your punkass s*BEEP*head brother are going to...

Morgan: You know, Maddie...I haven't got time for you. Unlike you, poor little rich girl, I don't talk about hurting people. I do it. End of conversation. Now, if you'll excuse me.

[Morgan goes to leave, but Mad Maddie grabs her wrist.]

Maddie: Bitch, don't turn you're back to me!

[Morgan glares at her, then throws Maddie against a wall. Morgan gets real up real close to her face.]

Morgan: Sweetheart...you just bought yourself an entirely different world of pain. You had damn sure better pray that I show you some mercy, so your first match, isn't your last!

[Morgan shoves Maddie's head and storms off as Maddie rubs her head and glares.]

Hart:  What is worng with Maddie?  Why's she always in everyone's face?

Wilden:  I'll admit she goes a little too far, but I think JJ Carter and Brother Shabazz have helped rein her in a bit.

Hart:  Rein her in? Are you nuts?

["Living in the Sunlight, loving in the Moonlight" plays and the crowd immediately drowns out the song in boos as Heretic steps out from behind the entrance curtain.  He slowly moves down the ring, almost as if he's stalking something. ]

Wilden:  And speaking of nuts… I was beginning to wonder when we were going to hear from Heretic.

Hart:  He never fails to disappoint!

Wilden: Last week, it seemed as if he had put the world chamion, Andrew Phillips, directly in his crosshairs.

Hart:   He wants Phillips to listen to him, Lance… and I don't think he got the message last week.

Wilden:  He threatened the man's children!

Hart:  He babysat!

[Heretic climbs into the ring and snatches the microphone.  His music fades, but the boos continue as he begins to speak.]

Heretic: Last week... last week... last week, I decided to make my presence known to Andrew Mendel. Andrew Mendel NEEDS ME! Andrew Mendel needs help to FIND HIMSELF. HES A FAKE HES A LIE HES A CONMAN! This isn't about a world title.. I'VE WON TWO WHO CARES WHY WOULD I NEED IT? It's about once again exposing the PHONIES! First MURU, now ANDY. ANDY.... you say you're SOOOOOOO PROUD of being a second generation wrestler! You talk about how mommy and daddy were wrestlers, BUT you turned around and SOLD OUT! You gave up your FAMILY NAME, you called yourself MENDEL! WHY? FOR A BETTER OPPORTUNITY! That's fine Andy... I know all about putting yourself in a good position, but don't say how important your family is to you! YOu bring your wife and Kids, my friends Christopher and Gabriella, and try to put up the front of being a family man. If you're such a loving father and husband, why then, for your first SIX MONTHS in cWo, were you a COMPLETE WOMANIZER?! Remember "The Big Daddy," Andy? Remember you chasing ever PEICE OF TAIL in cWo?! I don't care that you did, Andy.. just don't PRETEND to suddenly give two craps about your wife!

Hart:  He's exactly right!

Wilden:  That's just a low blow.

Hart:  But it's TRUE!

Heretic:  I don't CARE that you've got the belt, Andy, because you can't take it with you. In the end, all you have is WHO YOU ARE. I KNOW WHO I AM ANDY I KNOW! I dont PRETEND. I admit that sometimes I just... I don't know... GO A LITTLE NUTS! I know that I used to live in the World of Warcraft and be in the shadow of someone else... and I ADMIT THAT! Say what you want about Jon and Roman... but they knew who they were, they embraced their identies and weren't afraid to show themselves! But now, the so called "champion" of cWo is a JOKE who HIDES HIS TRUE NATURE! A GOLD BELT DOESNT MAKE YOU SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT! I'm tired of the PHONIES and the FAKES in cWo, I'm tired of people like....

[Suddenly, "Tiger The Lion" starts playing, interrupting Heretic. Chazz Mendel comes walking out, a cocky smirk on his face, flanked by both TheCop Mendel and The Grate One, Kid. The trio make their way down to the ring. They get into the ring with Heretic, Chazz making the peace sign. The Cop hands his "brother" a microphone, and "Tiger The Lion" fades out.]

Wilden: I don't think I've ever been as glad to see Chazz Mendel as I am now!

Hart:  Man, just when I thought this couldn't get any better! They're gonna rip Andrew a new one!

Chazz: Listen buddy... I know where you're coming from. I know all about "those people" you were eluding to before I interrupted you. And just like last week, I totally agree! People like Andrew Phillips, don't deserve to stand where we stand. They don't deserve the things that they have! For the crimes, not only against his family, but MINE, that he's committed... How quickly these people are to forgive. And what about his wife?! What kind of spineless wretch is she to just forgive and forget! She should have taken those kids of theirs and went to her mother's!

Wilden:  Oh come on now!

Hart:  HA!  What kind of Stockholm syndrome case is this lady?

[Heretic folds his arms, looking very disinterested.]

Chazz: I'll just cut to the chase, friend. WE have a lot in common... WE have a common enemy! WE have a common goal! I can never forgive him for screwing with my head! For STEALING, yes! STEALING my championship belt! You have no idea how badly I want to see him broken, bloodied, battered, bruised, bludgeoned, and all of those other B words! We come with an offer, Heretic. Bigger and better than anything anyone has ever given you! I want you, to become... my BROTHER. What do you say? We have everything else is common! We aught to share MY last name!

Hart:  Heretic and Chazz together! DO IT!

Heretic: Wow, what an offer. Let me think. Hmmm.. well, Chazz, I mean, the LAST "brother" you had USED YOU. You turned yourself into Andy's SPRINGBOARD! You embraced him into your family, and he TURNED ON YOU. Well, how do you know I won't do the same thing? How do you know I won't use you just like Andy did? In fact, how do you know that THESE TWO aren't going to betray you?!

[The smirk on Chazz's face quickly fades.]

Chazz: The Cop and The Grate One have proved to be nothing but noble, and trustworthy! They wouldn't betray me. I know they wouldn't! And they certainly wouldn't think twice to betray you! I believe in you, you have to believe in me! In WE!

Heretic: BELIEVE ME, I could have a lot of fuuun with this. I mean, the look on your face when I SCREWED YOU LIKE ANDREW would be PRICELESS. But I don't believe in kicking a man while he's down! HOW THE HELL COULD YOU LOSE THAT MATCH ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS CLIMB A LADDER! Maybe instead of trying to skirt the issue, use your RAGE AND ANGER for something productive. I'm not going to get even for you. Do it yourself. So either take care of business, or go and CRY TO DADDY SOME MORE!

["Living in the Sunlight, Loving in the moonlight" plays and Heretic drops the mic. Chazz continues to plead with him, but Heretic turns his back and walks out of the ring.]

Wilden:  Well, it doesn't look like Heretic was too interested in joining the Mendel family!

Hart:  He'll come around!

Wilden:  But have to wonder how Andrew Phillips is going to respond to those strong allegations from Heretic…

Hart:  How can he possibly respond, Lance?  Heretic just exposed him as a man who'd sell his own family out for a chance to be a champion!  Some husband and father he is!

Wilden:  Folks, we heard from Jacob Baxter earlier, and I've just received word that Tiffany Tolberg is standing by right now with his opponent for tonight, Johnny Serious.  Take it, Tiffany!

[Johnny Serious is standing with Tiffany Tolberg backstage]

Tiffany: I'm here with former World and US Champion, Johnny Serious....Johnny, tonight you get a rematch with Jacob Baxter, the new champion. In the past, you let yourself get distracted by the whereabouts of Nick Dangerous. What will happen tonight?

Johnny Serious: ARE YOU SERIOUS????? What will happen tonight. Let me tell you Tiffany. That little bastard, Jacoby Baxter got lucky at GLORY but his luck has run out. Admittedly, I let myself get beat because of Nick Dangerous, but I finally got my wish when I face Dangerous at Slam In The Sand. So tonight, my attention is all on that SERIOUS piece of Trash. I have let him get away with so much. His trash talking antics come to an end. And last week, he SERIOUSLY insulted every great cWo Wrestler that has held the United States Championship by ripping the flag of the U.S.A. off the title and his lame maneuver of trying to rename the championship. But fear not my SERIOUS fans, tonight, I bring the U.S. Championship back to the U.S.A. and back in my hands. I sit back and hear him denounce the U.S.A., but that stupid little man needs to know that AMERICA has no problem with England....hell, we SERIOUSLY saved their ass in World War II. And you may have had the beatles but you didn't have the KING of ROCK 'N' ROLL Baby!!!!!!!!!!

Serious: So in short Tiffany, my thoughts on this match are very simple. BAXTER is in for a SERIOUS rude awakening. Little Jacoby can open his fat mouth all he wants but when it comes to true talent in the ring, well, tonight for him is a test....does he SERIOUSLY have what it takes. Because I am focused. And tonight, he has THE SERIOUS one, alone, one on one. No Excuses.....He has to do all the work if he wants to retain that title!!!!!!!

Serious:And Josh Cantrell, if your watching backstage, I guarantee you that when I bring the Championship back the UNITED STATES, you will have the first SHOT!!!!!!! And you can bet I am SERIOUS about that!

[Johnny Serious walks off camera]

[The cameras cut backstage to the locker room. Reg Mendel is standing over his son Chazz, who's sitting in a chair, The Cop, and the GOK are nowhere to be seen.]

Reg: What the hell is wrong with you? Heretic? He's bat sh*t crazy, son! I want you to stay away from him! He's not what this family needs!

Chazz: I don't think so, Dad. I think he's EXACTLY what WE need! Call me crazy, but he can help! I know he can! He wants this! I know he does!

[Reg sighs and shakes his head.]

Reg: Oh, and him berating you out in the ring made you sure? Who the hell do you think he is? Some broad playing hard to get? You can't just slip him a mickey and expect him to go home with ya! He's a looney toon, Chazz! You hear me? I know what's best for you and I say to stay away from him! He's nothing but bad news!

[Chazz stands up.]

Chazz: No! I'm not going to! Why should I? I thought I explained this to you? This is MY family now. And if you're not on this train, you're gonna get left at the station! Is your ticket punched?

Reg: What?

Chazz: Simple question, old man! Is the Regmeister on board?

[Reg looks at his son with a bit of disbelief on his face. Reg looks like he's given up.]

Reg: You know what, fine! I'll "get on board" or whatever the hell you want me to do. But you gotta let me do my things my way. The only thing I want you to do is to sit back, relax, don't move. Let those cretins you pal around with get you something. Just... stop talking... Let me deal with this..

[Reg mutters to himself and reaches into his coat pocket for his flask as he walks out of the locker room.]

Chazz: Knock'em dead, daddy-o!

[Commercial]

[We head backstage now to find Mad Maddie pacing around in a circle, while J.J. Carter and Brother Shabazz stand outside of her path just watching.]

Maddie: Oh my f***ing God, I can't stand this Morgan Oliver bitch. Can you believe that s*** that just happened? I'm already stressed out with my life and wanting to knock Mary Joe's teeth out of her ugly ass head, and now this bitch wants to start some s*** with me? What the f***!

Carter: You seriously need to relax.

Shabazz: I can take care of that.

Carter: [ignoring Shabazz] And the swearing too.

Maddie: Why? There's no reason to.

Carter: Uh... do you pay attention to anything regarding your train wreck of a life?

Maddie: Look, why don't you take care of Chastity already? Shabazz, why haven't you shut that Jen Diamond bitch up already? Yeah, that's what I thought. You haven't. No action. You gonna let two women walk all over you?

Carter: We will get our revenge at due time. This next pay-per-view is coming, we are patient. Chastity, Jen, and Mary Joe will be taken care of. We don't need to have this instant retaliation like you do, everything can be sorted out in the ring instead of cussing up a storm and just jumping someone backstage. This is the professional, the sportsmanship thing to do.

[Maddie just screams in frustration, and storms away towards the exits... a pack of cigarettes in her hand.]

[The scene opens with "The Comeback Kid" Andrew Phillips, he cWo World Heavyweight Championship on his shoulder while he carries his daughter Gabby and his wife Missy holds Christopher's hand as Tiffany comes to him.]

Tiffany: Andrew, just one...

Andrew: Tiff, ya know usually I'd be all for running my mouth, but not tonight.

Tiffany: I just wanted your thoughts on what happened last week with Heret--

Andrew: Listen, Tiffany. I've got no comment about what happened with Here...let's just call him He Who Shall Not Be Named while my kids are around. Heretic...he crossed a very, very clearly defined last week, and he knows that.

Tiffany: What about his comments tonight? He did bring up a point. Just six months ago...well...you were something of a womanizer...

Andrew: Look, I'm not proud of the things I've done, alright? I'm not. That's not the point. The point is those things are behind me, I've changed, I've grown-up. Fact is, Heretic can say what he wants about me. It won't be the first time somebody talks trash about me and it damn sure won't be the last. But why bring my kids into it? They're innocent bystanders, they've done nothing to him. He wants to get in my head--fine. Leave my family out of it, nd...wait...where's Chris?

Missy: What?

Andrew: WHERE'S CHRIS!?

Missy: I don't know, he just...

Andrew: You weren't supposed to let him fuc....UGGH!

[Andrew practically shoves Gabby into Missy and takes off down the hall with he camera running behind him.]

Hart: Ya see! Bad parenting at it's finest! And he's supposed to be family man!

Wilden: Folks this is a pretty intense situation, here's hoping Chris is found soon!

Hart:  Heretic is right on every point he made!  Andrew didn't even have a response!

Wilden:  It did seem that Andrew didn't have much desire to answer Heretic's allegations.

Hart:  Because he knows they're all true, and he's what Heretic said he is… a phony!

Wilden:  Heretic seems to be in demand right now, as not only does Andrew Phillips have Heretic on his mind, but so apparently does Reg Mendel, and he's looking to bring him into the fold!

Hart:  That'll be almost as great of an alliance as the World Gentleman's League!

Wilden:  Well, speaking of alliances, up next we'll see the self proclaimed Professors of Wrestling, Jake and Morgan Oliver as they face of against JJ Carter, and in her first taste of cWo action,  Mad Maddie!

Hart:  Good!  I hope Maddie gets what's coming to her! 

Wilden:  You have to believe that the alliance of Jen Diamond, Chastity McGavin and Mary-Joe Wolf will be keeping a close eye on this one.

Hart:  Their name is The Estrogen Uprising, Lance! Get it right!

"GIVE ME FUEL!
GIVE ME FIRE!
GIVE ME THAT WHICH I DESIRE!"

[Flames shoot out of the ramp as the drums kick in and "Fuel" by Metallica blast on the PA. Jake Oliver comes out onto the stage and soaks in the crowd's boos as his sister Morgan stands by his side.]

Donna Dixon: The following tag team contest is set for one fall! Introducing first, from Green Bay, Wisconsin, the team of JAKE AND MORGAN OLLLLIVVVEERRR!!

[As he makes his way down to the ring Jake Oliver as he jaw jacks with fans at ringside on his way down the ramp. Morgan looks stern as she walks down the ramp, rubbing her wrist. They both slide into the ring and start stretching as "Grasshopper" by Sander van Doorn plays over the arena, and spotlights go around the crowd before appearing on J.J. Carter and Mad Maddie, as they walks through the crowd and towards the ring.]

Donna Dixon: And their opponents, from Bridgeport, Connecticut, the team of JJ CARTER, AND MAD MADDDDIIEE!!

DING DING DING

Wilden: And off we are, one fall to a finish, Mad Maddie and JJ Carter versus Morgan and Jake Oliver, Oliver and Carter going to start off here, both men circle each other, collar and elbow tie-up center of the ring. And Oliver now with the arm wrench, Carter though with the reversal. And Carter's going to have watch his back here, with Mary Joe and Chasity around...

Hart: Don't you dare talk about Mary-Joe in that tone!

Wilden: Carter now with the side headlock applies, Jake backs him into he ropes and ends him off into the parallel set, Carter comes back with the shoulder block, though! And now Carter hits the ropes again, Oliver to his stomach and Carter off the ropes gain, Oliver back up to is feet, tries for the hip toss, but Carter able to reverse with a hiptoss of his own! Carter got the better of that offensive exchange!

Hart: Bah! Jake's just getting warmed up here! Carter's no more a match for him as she is for Chastity!

Wilden: Oliver ended up on the wrong side of that exchange as he staggers back to his feet and get booted in the stomach! Cartner now hooks him up and takes him down with the snap suplex! And Carter now with he quick cover...

ONE

TWO

NO! Oliver able to get a shoulder up. Carter not wasting any time though, hauls Oliver back to his feet and buries a knee into his midsection, and he's going to make the tag to Maddie!! Maddie seeing her first in-ring action tonight!

Hart: Certainly not a first action ever though! She's not like our picture of purity Mary-Joe or Chastity! She's just a hussy! And a foul mouthed hussie at that!

Wilden: I'm positive Maddie would have some words to say to that, as we see her climb to that top rope, AND A MISSLE DROPKICK!! Maddie wit the missle dropkick into the chest of Jake Oliver!! And Maddie quickly on the cover!

ONE

TWO

NO!! Oliver again on the kick out! And Maddie with the quick tag, and it's Carter over the top rope with the heelo into the chest of Oliver!! Once again on the cover...

ONE

TWO

THR--NO!! Oliver able to kick out yet again. Oliver can't get out of the blocks here as Carter hauls him up yet again and tries for the irish whip, Oliver reverses though, Carter comes off as Jake tries for the clothesline, Carter is able to duck it though, hooks Oliver up, and the russian leg sweep!!

Hart: Come on, Jake! Get your stuff together!!

Wilden: And now Carter makes the tag to Maddie again! Maddie in the ring and now...Carter picks her up and DROPS HER IN THE LEG DROP! Maddie with that elevated leg drop on Jake Oliver, and yet AGAIN Oliver gets covered!

ONE

TWO

THR...NO!

Hart: Can someone get Chastity out here! Obviously Jake Oliver's incapable of putting these guys away!!

Wilden: And now Maddie is choosing not to tag out as Oliver is slowly getting back to his feet, Maddie goes for the right hand, but...Oliver catches it!

Hart: Haha! She's gonna get hers now!

Wilden: What would Mary-Joe think if Oliver were to hit a woman here!

Hart: She'd...well...and...yeah! That's what she'd think!

Wilden: And Oliver walks over to the corner and tags in Morgan! Morgan in the ring and just tosses Maddie into the corner! And now Morgan with those stiff, STIFF forearms in the corner! Morgan the more experienced of these two women as she backs up and starts slapping that leg, wants that kick in the corner, charges in, BUT MADDIE DODGES AT THE LAST SECOND! Morgan can't get that yakuza kick in the corner, and wait, now it's Maddie, MADDIE WITH THE ROLL-UP!

ONE

TWO

THR...NO! Morgan able to kick out! And Maddie quickly makes the tag to JJ Carter!

Hart: Womanbeater, womanbeater!

Wilden: Morgan back to her feet and catches a boot from Carter! Carter now, tries for the irish whip, Morgan puts on the brakes though and catches Carter with the standing enziguri! And Carter collapses to a knee off that kick right to the back of the head, Morgan nows hits the ropes and DRIVES her feet into Carter's face! Basement dropkick, Morgan on the cover...

ONE

TWO

THR...NO!! Carter kicks out. Morgan now with the tag to Jake Oliver, who comes in and hauls Carter back to his feet and a STIFF European Uppercut!! And Oliver now, tries to Irish Whip Carter, Carter with the reversal though, but Oliver WITH THE AGILITY, able to leap to the top rope! But wait, Carter now, springboarding off the ropes AND THE SECOND STORY DROP!! A springboard version of the Second Story rop, Oliver is stacked on his shoulders!!

ONE

TWO

THREE

Carter and Maddie win!!! Morgan tried to get in and stop it, but it didn't happen!

DING DING DING!

Donna Dixon: Ladies and gentlemen, your winners, MAD MADDIE AND JJ CARTER!

[Morgan looks on angrily and JJ and Maddie walk up the ramp. Morgan snarls at her brother as she recovers on the mat.]

[The scene opens with Andrew kicking in lockerroom doors.]

Andrew: Chris!? CHRISTOPHER!! [starts walking] Son of a bitch...dammit! Why didn't she keep an eye on him! I can't believe this...

[Andrew looks relieved as he sees Christopher at the catering table with Alex Kayman. Kayman has his arm in a sling but is trying to pour Chris a drink. Andrew runs up to him and shoves him.]

Kayman: Hey, watch it!

Andrew: What the hell are you doing?

Kayman: Pouring YOUR kid a drink, what are you doing?

Andrew: Why didn't you come find me when you found him!

Kayman: He was with a PA, I was going to get him drink..

[Andrew bends down to Chris and shakes him.]

Andrew: Why'd you run away from me, huh!? I told you if you're going to come with me you have to STAY with me! Why the hell did you run away!?

[Christopher looks stunned as Andrew sighs and hugs him.]

Andrew: Just...don't run from me again. PLEASE.

[Commercial break]

Wilden:  We're back!  As we just saw before the break, Christopher Phillips is safe and sound.

Hart: No thanks to his father!  He's lucky Alex Kayman was here or else who knows who could have gotten to young Christopher!  This is a negligent father if I've ever seen one!

Wilden: Come on, Robbie! That hadda be a very tense situation for any father!

Hart:   Not for me! Well, if I had kids… then not for me!

Wilden:  Let's get back to the action!  Up next, we'll be seeing a man who's taken cWo by storm since his arrival, Raymond Jacobson, as he squares off against Mr. Rich!

[The scene opens anew with Missy pacing outside a lockerroom door when Andrew walks up looking flustered.]

Missy: Oh thank God, you found him.

Andrew: *sighs and looks down* Yeah, I found him. I shouldn't've lost him in the first f*BEEP!*ing place..

Missy: Baby,the kids! Look...maybe it's best that after tonight...we don't bring them to the shows anymore, okay? I know you like them being here, but they'll be safer at home...

Andrew: ...But...*sigh* you're ight. Until this Heretic BS stops...I'll keep them at home. Let's just...try and enjoy the rest of this night.

Missy: Okay.

[Andrew shakes his head and steps into the lockerroom with his family. Missy gasps and the kids stare wide-eyed with mouths agape at the scene--the walls scrawled on in big, bold, red letters with phrases like "UNCLE HERETIC MISSES YOU" and "HI KIDS" and "BIG DADDY'S HOME". Missy walks up and sees pictures of CBK with some girl. She turns back to Andrew, who's absolutely seething.]

Missy: Andrew..

[CBK slams his fist into a wall, then picks up a trash can and launches it across the room and storms out. Missy shakes her head as she covers the kids eyes and tries to comfort them.]

Wilden: That is sick. Heretic is absolutely crossing the damn line! It's one thing to taunt Andrew, but...this is just crossing the line.

Hart: Yeah...say, you think that girl in the picture is single?

Wilden: You know, I'm not even going to dignify you with a response to that. Heretic, I hope you're damn happy with yourself.

[Commercial break]

[The cameras go backstage to a cafeteria area. Reg Mendel comes walking into the shot, scanning the large room. A large group of people are sitting together, enjoying their lunch, and talking amongst themselves about the hot topics of the day. Off toward the back of the room, sits Heretic, alone at one of the smaller tables, eating a sandwich with a scowl on his face.]

Reg: There you are... Ok, time to put the game face on, Big R.

[Reg quickly grabs a tray and gets in line, he loads his try up with a ham and cheese sandwich and a chocolate milk. When he approaches the register, a man standing next to it waves him off.]

Man: We're not selling anything. Put that back!

[Reg, with his hand in his back pocket, about to retrieve his wallet, looks at the man dumbfounded.]

Reg: What do you mean, not selling? I need this, and you're going to take my money whether you like it or not!

[Reg dips into his wallet and throws three dollars onto the counter and walks off. The man tries to plead with Reg, but he ignores him. Reg walks up to Heretic, and Heretic doesn't acknowledge him, but he takes a sip from a Capri Sun. The Patriarch of the Mendel Family sits down across from Heretic and the crowd of people a few tables away starts to grow eerily quiet.]

Reg: Ahh, brown baggin' it, eh? Just like how my boys did it when they were in school. The Good ol' days, huh?

[Heretic says nothing, just continues to eat.]

Reg: Ok, you don't want to talk, fine! Let me clue you in on a little something, chief. My son Chazz, though he's got a screw loose, gave you the damn deal of a lifetime! I didn't like it at first, Lord knows that I don't like it now, but I see a little bit of me in ya, and hell, that ain't bad, boy! I see you sitting here all PO'ed eating your egg salad sandwich and I say to myself, "Self, you could help him out! You could be a mentor to him like you are to your own wealthy and successful children. Hell, you could even be like a...

Heretic:  Like a son?

Reg:  Sure!

Heretic:  And you'd be my father?

Reg:  Absolutely.

Heretic:  There's something you may not realize.

Reg:  What's that?

[Heretic quickly jumps to his feet, knocking his chair totally over, and pushing the table on it's side, throwing food everywhere.  He grabs reg by the collar, pulling him close to his face.]

Heretic:  I HATE MY FATHER!

[Heretic gets nose to nose with Reg, who swallows hard]

Reg:  ….Jesus Christ.   

Heretic:  Guess again.

[He pushes Reg away, letting go of him.  Reg tries to regain his composure and Heretic picks his chair up, sits back down in it, picks his sandwich up from the floor and continues eating it.  Reg, still somewhat in shock, walks away.]

Hart:  Reg, No!

Wilden:  It seems like Heretic doesn't care who he hurts at this point.  I'm no fan of Reg Mendel's but I think it's maybe best for him to keep away from that lunatic!

Hart:  EVERYONE should keep away from him, Lance!

Wilden:  Well folks, it's time for our Main Event, and what a match this should be! 


Hart: Finally, a chance for The Fighting Championship of The United Kingdom to successfully be defended by the true champion, Jacob Baxter!

Donna Dixon: It is now time for the Main Event. The following match is set for one fall, and is for the cWo United States Championship....!!!!!! Making his way down to the ring, the challenger, from Hollywood California, at 245 lbs, he is the cormer cWo US Champion and former cWo World Champion, JOOOOHHHHHNNNNNYYYYYY SEEEERRRRIIIIOOOOUUUUSSSSS!

The lights go our as the Voice of Johnny Serious comes over the sound system and says "Are You SERIOUS." An orange light turns on in the arena as the song "ELEVATION" by U2 plays. Johnny Serious makes his way out to the ring. He enters the ring, goes to a corner and climbs the turnbuckle and shrugs his sholders and gives a cocky smile. The regular house lights come back on.]

Wilden: The challenger and former champion looks very focused tonight.

[The lights dim as white lights begin to flash on the entrance way. "F***in' in the Bushes" hits on the PA system as Jacob "The Bastard" Baxter emerges from behind the curtain. A rabidly jeering crowd greets him]

Donna Dixon: Weighing in at 235 pounds and hailing from Sydenham, London England…He is your cWo United States Champion,"THE BEAST OF SYDENHAM" JACOB "THE BASTARD" BAXTER!!!

[Baxter slides into the ring and walks towards a corner where he begins stretching and waiting as his music fades. He walks over to Donna and whispers in her ear....]

Donna Dixon: He holds THE FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE UNITED KINGDOM, ,"THE BEAST OF SYDENHAM" JACOB "THE BASTARD" BAXTER!!!

Hart: That is much better!!!!!

Wilden: You got to be kidding me! The two men staring each other down as the ref has grabbed the championship title and handed it to the bell ringer....

DING DING DING

Wilden: And this match is underway and Robbie, If I do say, this may be one of the more highly anticipated matches in Driven History. These two men were involved in a huge triple threat match at GLORY, and for the first time, they are about to go at it one on one.

[Serious and Baxter lock hands for a grapple and begin a battle of strength.]

Hart: What I am happy about is that with this one on one face off, Baxter can finally shut up all of those SERIOUS supporters once and for all with a sweet, and short victory over Johnny, TONIGHT!

[Baxter gets the upper hand, dropping SERIOUS to his knees in in pain]

Hart: I knew this would not be easy for Johnny. He is too hung up on Nick Dangerous. He has no focus....straight out, he is a LOSER!

Wilden: Serious on his knees..

Hart: That is disgusting Lance....

Wilden: Serious shaking his head as the crowd begins to get loud and now Serious begins to stand up and this crowd chanting Johnny's name!

Crowd: JOHNNY, JOHNNY, JOHNNY, JOHNNY, JOHNNY, JOHNNY!!!!!!!

[Both men, still locked in a test of strength, are both on their feet.....0

Wilden: And now SERIOUS getting the upperhand as Baxter is down to both knees and SERIOUS looking around for crowd support. For two young stars, this is quite the display.

[Baxter begins to shake his head in pain but finds the will to get back to his feet and both men now standing face to face locked in as....]

Wilden: Baxter with a kick to the gut to Johnny and with hands still locked, flips SERIOUS over into a pin....

ONE.

TW.....

Wilden: And Serious kicks out,

Hart: Barely kicks out, and once again, the Brit shows who the better wrestler is, and why he is the FCUK Champion....

[Both men to their feet, staring each other down]

Wilden: I'm sorry Robbie, but I refuse to call it by that name. So many cWo greats have held that title, including the man in that ring, Johnny Serious, and to them, they all held the cWo U.S. Title with pride!

Hart: What do you mean, Chazz Mendel has never held that title, Nick Dangerous has never held that title....as far as I am concerned, Baxter is the first guy to hold that title and have it mean something since the classic days of cWo when guys like Notorious Jon held it.

Wilden: That is bull and you know it....

[Both men lock arms and begin to shove when another but....]

Wilden: Johnny Serious getting the upperhand and shoving the Champion into the corner of the ring. And know Serious with a knee to the gut.[Serious continues with a second knee, and then a loud painful chop to the chest]

Crowd: WOOOOOOO

[And another Chop]

Crowd: WOOOOOOOO

[And another Chop]

Crowd: WOOOOOOOO

[Serious goes to Irish Whip Baxter into the opposite corner but....]

Wilden: Baxter with the reversal, pulls Serious in and does an overhead Belly to Belly Suplex into a pin.

ONE

TW.....

Wilden: And Serious kicks out again, and Robbie, I believe these two men are both here to win this match!

Hart: Gee....do you think so!

[Baxter to his feet quick, pulls Serious up and delivers a EUROPEAN Upper Cut, sending Serious over the ropes]

Wilden: Serious over the ropes and on the outside....and remember, no one is to interfere in this match. Not Cantrell, Not Nick Dangerous or Pilchard, No One, or they will be suspended.

Hart: What about me, can I....

Wilden: Not even you Robbie!

[Baxter climbs to the outside, grabs Johnny Serious and tosses him into the Steel Steps]

Wilden: Baxter taking full advantage now!

[Baxter picking Rich up, and slamming him down, stomach first, on the guardrail as fans begin to tap both men]

Wilden: We knew this match had the potential to get real SERIOUS, no pun intended, and it indeed has as Baxter is now shoving his foot right on the head of SERIOUS in an insulting manner....

Hart: It is called Strategy, and it is the strategy that has led Baxter to the Unite...I mean Fighting Championship of the UNITED KINGDOM!!!!!!

Wilden: Once again, it is the United States Championship!

[Baxter picks Serious up and goes for a Vertical Suplex but Serious counters....]

Wilden: And Serious counters with a Vertical Suplex of his own, on the ground.....

[Both men are down, but SERIOUS slowly tries to get up as the crowd begins to chant...]

Crowd: JOHNNNNNNNY, JOHNNNNNY, JOHNNNNNY.....

Wilden: Serious slowly getting to his feet first....he rolls into the ring to avoid any possible count out....

Hart: Not that the ref in there was counting!

Wilden: And Serious using the ropes to get back to his feet, walks backwards....on the outside, Baxter gets to his feet, back towards the us at the announcers table.....

[Serious runs towards the ropes, jumps, on the top ropes, and does a cross body dive towards Baxter....]

Wilden:...BAXTER moves out of the way and OOOOHHHHHH, SERIOUS GOES RIGHT THROUGH OUR TABLE.......

Crowd: HOLY SH*T, HOLY SH*T, HOLY SH*T!!!!!!!!

Wilden: Serious may be hurt folks, he landed pretty hard on the table and on our monitors...

[Baxter wasting no time, picks Serious up and rolls him into the ring. He picks up the tired and hurt SERIOUS and....]

Wilden: ....BAXTER WITH AN AGGRO DROP!!!!!! Something new in his move list, never seen before....a Cravate Suplex that Baxter calls the Aggro Drop and now Baxter, goes to a corner, grabs a British Flag and drapes it over Johnny Serious and then goes for the pin cover....folks, this one may be over!

ONE

TWO

THREE......

Wilden: NO, JOHNNY SERIOUS KICKS OUT AND THIS MATCH CONTINUES!!!!!!!!! AND LISTEN TO THIS CROWD!!!!!!!!

Crowd: U.S.A., U.S.A., U.S.A., U.S.A......

Wilden: Baxter doesn't believe it...

Hart: Hell, I don't believe it, I though Baxter had this one in the bag....but to be honest, SERIOUS can't have much more left in him....

[Baxter gets up, in disbelief, picks SERIOUS up and Irish Whips Serious into the ropes....Serious bounces off the ropes and on the return, delivers the HOOLIGAN KICK, sending Serious back down....]

Wilden: And Baxter with another pin....

ONE

TWO

THR....

Wilden: And Serious kicks out yet again....and this time much quicker....

[Baxter back up again, picks Serious up and tosses him into the corner....]

Wilden: If I was a betting man, I would say that Cantrell is watching this match very carefully...and probably, so is Nick Dangerous....Dangerous scheduled to face SERIOUS at SLAM IN THE SAND in a match that Johnny Serious has been asking for for quite a few months now, and finally got it!

[Serious in the corner, and delivers a consecutive forearm strike, chop combo on an opponent trapped in the corner]

Wilden: This is what Baxter call the Violence Party...but wait....SERIOUS now FIGHTING OFF THOSE CHOPS AND IS STARING JACOB BAXTER DOWN AND ONCE AGAIN, THIS CROWD IS GOING NUTS.....

[Baxter goes for an Irish Whip, but Serious reverses it and as Baxter returns, he is met with...]

Wilden: BAXTER RUNS RIGHT INTO A SERIOUS CHOKE SLAM!!!!!!! Now Baxter on his back, SERIOUS hits a standing leg drop and goes for a pin of his own!

ONE

TWO

T.....

Wilden: And Baxter kicks out...

Hart: Thank god!

Wilden: And now SERIOUS standing up, picks Baxter up in a boddy slam position, turns around and hits THE SERIOUS SLAM!!!!!!!!!

ONE

TWO

THR.....

Wilden: And Baxter kicks out again....

[Serious stands up again, picks Baxter into a standing position and....]

Wilden: OH MY....BAXTER JUST GOT SERIOUS.....NOW, BAXTER COUNTERS AND HITS THE BASTERDISER....

[The impact of the BASTERDIZER is too close to the ropes as....]

Wilden: And Johnny Serious from the impact, rolls out of the ring!!!!!!....

Hart: What a lucky save for SERIOUS....

Wilden: Baxter stands up and looks at the ref....what is he saying....

Hart: I think he just told the ref to count.....

Wilden: Baxter wants a legal count out....

ONE

Hart: Smart move...why go out there and take a chance....Serious has got to be hurting....

TWO

THREE

FOUR

Wilden: And Serious's chance of regaining the cWo United States Championship is quickly fading!!!!

FIVE
.
SIX

[Serious begins to move around]

SEVEN

EIGHT

NIN....

Wilden: And Serious somehow rolls back into the ring....and now Baxter picks SERIOUS up, drags him to the center of the ring....

[Baxter goes for the BASTERDIZER ....]

Wilden:...AND SERIOUS resists, knees Baxter in the GUT.....and JACOB BAXTER JUST GOT SERIOUS'D!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hart: Yeah, but both men on the ground, not moving....

Wilden: And now the ref begins to count and it would be a shame of this match would end in a double count-out....it would solve absolutely nothing!!!!

ONE
.
TWO
.
THREE.

Hart: Except that Baxter would still hold the FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE UNITED KINDGOM!!!!!!

FOUR
.
FIVE

Wilden: And SERIOUS WITH THE KIP UP, SERIOUS IS UP FIRST....

Hart:What's he doing?

[Serious walks over to the ropes, grabs an AMERICAN FLAG as the crowd goes wild.....]

Hart: HE SHOULD BE GOING FOR THE PIN....THIS IS WHY HE IS SO STUPID!!!!!!

Wilden: PAYBACK TIME FOR BAXTER....

[Serious begins to drape the flag over BAXTER....]

Wilden:...BAXTER GRABS THE ARM OF SERIOUS and ROLLS SERIOUS INTO THE PIN, GRABBING THE TIGHTS OF SERIOUS....

ONE

TWO

THREE!!

DING DING DING!

Wilden: MY GOD, JACOB BAXTER HAS RETAINED THE UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP IN WHAT MIGHT BE HIS BEST MATCH YET!!!!!!!

Donna Dixon: Here is your winner, and still cWo Champion......JACOB BAXXXXTTTTEEEERRRRR!!!!!!!!

Wilden: And both men get back to their feet real quick....Johnny doesn't know what hit him....

Hart: How about the great British Bastard!!!!!!!!!!!

Wilden: Both men staring each other down as Baxter is given the United States Championship....and look at this, SERIOUS EXTENDING HIS HAND, CONGRADULATING BAXTER ON A HARD FOUGHT MATCH....

Hart: What a softie....

[Baxter looks at the crowd....then again at Johnny Serious....]

Wilden: My GOD, BAXTER JUST SPITS IN THE FACE OF SERIOUS AND THEN JUST SMILES AT HIM....

[Serious looks at Baxter and mouths...]

Johnny Serious: Are you SERIOUS?????

[Serious then runs and gives baxter a clothesline...Baxter rolls out of the ring and stares SERIOUS down and gives a cocky smile....]

Wilden: Look at these two men....you almost get the feeling that this one is not over....not by a long shot!!!!!!!!

Hart:  But as of right now, it's Baxter 2, Serious 0!

Wilden:  That's all the time we have for tonight!  For Robbie Hart, this is Lance Wilden, and we'll see you next week!

[Baxter walks backards down the aisle, facing Serious and smiling as the copyright information comes on the screen and the show goes off the air.]