Thursday, August 07, 2008
[The scene opens on a locker room door labeled “Andrew Phillips.” A Production Assistant holding a bright blue greeting card envelope hesistantly knocks on the door. After a few seconds, the door opens slightly and the cWo World Champion, Andrew Phillips, looks out of the door.]
Assistant: This is a little unsual, sir.. but this came for you?
[He holds the bright envelope out to Phillips, who takes it. CBK rips open the top of the envelope, then pulls out what appears to be a polariod picture. He glances at it, then his eyes widen. He steps out of the locker room and looks around, then turns to the PA]
Phillips: Where is he?!
Assistant: What? Who?
Phillips: Who gave you this!?
Assistant: It was just in a pile of mail..
[Andrew crumples the Polaroid in his hand, then goes back into the locker room and slams the door. The PA walks away from the door, walks down the hall and turns the corner, where Heretic is waiting.]
Heretic: So….
PA; He’s got it.
Heretic: Nice job, Anthony. Here’s what I promised you…
[He hands the PA a stack of polariods. The PA smiles as he looks through them]
Assistant: Oh man, she’s hot!
Heretic: So it was worth it then?
Assistant: Totally.
Heretic: Good.
[Heretic walks away, leaving the PA staring at his newly acquired pictures.]
[The cWo logo flashes and spins past the screen, as it spins out of control and hits the camera, we see a crack in the camera as clips of cWo wrestlers spew out of the crack in the screen doing what they do best. Sevendust's "Driven" begins to play as we see clips of the following weeks programs. First a clip of Barret Hawk's first match is shown, followed by the debut of Jezebel, Mike Logan holding a mic after his first match and finally three clips of Raymond Jacobson hitting the RJA on his opponents. Raymond Jacobson appears in front of the blank screen that reads
I AM DRIVEN
The picture switches and Mike Logan now appears in front of the blank screen.
I AM cWo
Footage of JJ's Carter's history in the company shown, followed by Shabazz's first appearance and then them being accompanied to the ring by Mad Maddie. This is followed by Chastity McGavin's entrance with Mary-Joe following her then shots of her various squash matches this is cut with footage of Jen Diamond's history with company and her squash matches over the last few weeks. This ends with Jen Diamond, Mary-Joe Wolf, and Chastity McGavin united on the rampway at Glory. Jen and Chastity appear before the blank screen with Mary-Joe grinning between them.
I AM DRIVEN
The figures in front of the blank screen switches to JJ Carter and Brother Shabazz with Mad Maddie in between them.
I AM cWo
Clips of Devon Dice's first matches in the company are shown followed by his world title win and ending with him walking to the ring with an ivory tooth pick in his mouth after his gentlemen's make over. Then clips of Chandler Dalmon's very first appearance is shown with him offering an opponent a briefcase of money, followed by his battle royal win and then him performing a spear on Raymond Jacobson. Clips of Thaddeus Walker's storied history is shown with his win in the first ever triple threat match, his battles with Devon Dice, him fighting Stephanie Bliss in a wooden cage, him holding a bottle honor and finally him standing united with Devon Dice and Chandler Edsel Dalmon in the middle of the ring as the World Gentlemen League. Thaddeus Walker appers before the blank screen.
I AM DRIVEN
The screen switches to Dice and Dalmon standing next to eachother.
I AM cWo
Next, a clip of Nick Dangerous hitting Johnny Serious over the head with a steel chair at Cyberslam is shown. Followed by John Pilchard confronting Chris Michaels and Anrew Fiasco and then a brief shot of Tony Awesome. Next Johnny Serious playing tug of war with the World title with Nick Dangerous is shown, then his win over Thaddeus Walker for the U.S title, followed by his victory over Mr. Rich at Cyberslam. Footage of Josh Cantrell's first cWo run is shown as well as his matches against Nick Dangerous and Chazz Mendel and then shots of his return and his match with Jacob Baxter. Then clips of Jacob Baxter first few matches in cWo is shown, followed by him confronting a returning Josh Cantrell, and then his U.S Title win. Jacob Baxter appears before the blank screen holding his U.S title.
I AM DRIVEN
The image changes to Josh Cantrell in front of the blank screen.
I AM cWo
Next Chazz Mendel entering the ring being accompanied by Reg is shown, followed by him being accompanied to the ring by The Cop and The GOK. Footage of the matches between himself and Nick Dangerous and Johnny Serious is shown, as well as his cage match against Jack Union and finally him making Andrew Phillips tap at Cyberslam. Clips of Heretic beating the living crap out of Muru and Jen Diamond is shown followed by his entrance to the ring and him hitting the Baby Killer on several opponents. Heretic appears in front of the blank screen.
I AM DRIVEN
His image changes to that of Chazz Mendel.
I AM cWo
This is followed by Andrew Mendel's return to the cWo and his turn on his adopted family, then his Cyberslam entrance. This is followed by him holding the cWo World title. He appears befor the blank screen.
I AM DRIVEN
Then a shot of him holding the world title over his shoulder in fron to the blank screen is shown.
I AM cWo
[The camera cuts to the interior of the Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena in Jacksonville, Florida. We pan the crowd, where screaming fans cheer into the camera and hold up signs reading “Bye Bye Chazz,” “I went to Nick Dangerous’s Wrestling School and all I got was this stupid sign,” “Jenkem is MY Drug of Choice” and finally “Always WINTERIZE your pipes!” The camera cuts to Lance Wilden and Robbie Hart sitting at the announce table.]
Lance Wilden: Welcome to Driven! We’re coming to you live from Jacksonville Florida, and we’ve got a jam packed night of cWo action for you! I’m Lance Wilden, joined as always by my colleague, and I use that term loosely, Robbie Hart! Robbie, we’re just two weeks away from Slam in the Sand, and it seems like some major rivalries are coming to a head!
Robbie Hart: Meaning justice is about to be dished out! I can’t wait, Lance! Soon we’ll see Andrew Phillips finally get what he deserves for selling out his family to get ahead, we’ll see JJ Carter and Shabazz punished for their sexist ways, and Nick Dangerous will FINALLY settle the score with Johnny Serious!
Wilden: But I have a feeling that the lineup for Slam In The Sand isn’t nearly complete! Tonight we’ll see the World Gentleman’s League in action, as well as two recent recipients of attacks from them, Barrett Hawk and Raymond Jacobson!
Hart: When will Jacobson learn his lesson? He’ll NEVER Be a true gentleman! And I can’t wait for Chandler to beat some education into that dumb okie Hawk!
Wilden: Raymond Jacobson will be stepping into the ring against the US Champion, Jacob Baxter, who is on a collision course with Josh Cantrell at Slam in the Sand, if he makes it out of Driven with his belt!
Hart: Come on… when has The Bastard ever let us down?
Wilden: In our main even tonight, we’ll be seeing something unprecedented. Josh Cantrell and Johnny Serious will team up to face 12 men, all students of Nick Dangerous’ wrestling school!
Hart: And therefore the best talent out there! Neither of these guys have ever beaten Nick Dangerous, and these 12 men were TRAINED by Nick Dangerous, so I think it’s fairly obvious how that one’s gonna end up!
Wilden: Well, let’s get right to the action! Our first matchup this evening features 4 women who have been at each other’s throats lately.
Hart: Oh great. Meghan Conklin, yay, fun.
Wilden: Is that sarcasm
Hart: Me? Sarcastic? Never!
Hart: Let’s get this one started! Take it, Donna Dixon!
Donna Dixon: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... the following tag team contest is set for one fall... introducing first... from Manhattan... Evette
If you ain't got no money take your broke ass home
You say: If you ain't got no money take your broke ass home!
G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S, yeah
G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S
We flying the first class
Up in the sky
Poppin' champagne
Livin' the life
In the fast lane
And I won’t change
By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy
[Evette makes her way down to the ring, wearing short female shorts with a dollar sign printed on the ass and a GLAMOROUS tee shirt. She steps in the ring through the lower rope, walks to the center of the ring, and gives a smile and waves to the fans who are obviously hate her.]
Wilden: Evette certainly not getting the most pleasant reaction from these Jacksonville fans, is she?
Hart: Bah, what do these idiots know about class! Now if only there was a wardrobe malfunction in this match...
Wilden: God, you’re unbelievable.
Donna Dixon: And her tag team partner... from Sorel, Quebec, Canada... weighing in at 153 pounds... JEZEBEL!!!
[The lights go out and turn a crimson shade of red as we begin to hear "Counting Bodies Like Sheep To The Rhythms Of The War Drums" by A Perfect Circle play over the P.A. system. As soon as the words begin to play over the P.A. system, we see Jezebel come out from behind the curtain, decked out in a black Misfits T-Shirt with the white spooky face & blood spatter on it, black fishnet pantyhose on her arms a la Jeff Hardy, fingernails painted black, with baggy black pants with chains on them as she seems to be carrying a railroad spike covered with dried blood in her hands with a twisted, depraved look on her face. She then makes her way to the ring not even making eye contact with the fans and a very evil smile on her face. She slides in the ring on her stomach under the bottom rope before she climbs to the nearest turnbuckle and holds her bloody railroad spike in the air just gazing at it hypnotically as she spits in the direction of the fans and curses them in French. She then lays her railroad spike on the apron and sits down in the turnbuckle with a very unstable look in her eyes as she waits for her opponents and sneers with a look of distrust toward Evette.]
Wilden: This individual just scares me to death because she proven to not be a very caring human being and seems to have some serious issues.
Hart: For once, I agree with you Lance, this woman goes WAY too far in her quest for violence in the women’s division... I still can’t get that image of her drilling that spike in Meghan’s eyebrow...
Donna Dixon: And their opponents... first... from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania via Tokyo... weighing in at 108 lbs... she is... PHANTASY!!!
["Violator Girl" by Black Stone Cherry roars from the PA and Phantasy emerges from the back full of energy and ready for her match as she slaps hands with the fans on her way to the ring. She then runs in as Evette and Jezebel simply glare at her as she plays to the crowd.]
Wilden: She’s certainly the little fireplug of energy, isn’t she?
Hart: Yeah, but she didn’t exactly have the best of luck against Evette last week, now did she?
Donna Dixon: And her tag team partner... from Defiance, Ohio... weighing in at 145 pounds... MEGHAN... CONKLIN!!!
[The lights dim and flicker continually in a strobe light pattern of pink & purple as "Poem" by Taproot begins to play over the P.A. system as fog begins to cover the entrance. We then see Meghan Conklin jump out from the smoke, full of energy getting the crowd pumped up for her. She is wearing a black hooded fleece jacket with a black top with a pink star in purple trim with an "M" on the front and black wrestling shorts that come down to her thighs with the pink & purple star on the sides of the shorts. She also has matching knee pads, Japanese style wrist sleeves and Japanese kick pads with black Asiacs wrestling shoes. She starts her walk to the ring tagging hands with the fans briefly before running to the ring and sliding under the bottom rope. She then picks herself off the canvas and climbs the nearest turnbuckle and points at the crowd while motioning for them to make some noise for her. She then does a backflip off the top rope, landing on her feet with pink pyro shooting from the turnbuckles. She then tosses off her jacket and begins to wait on her opponent with a confident smile on her face before mockingly blowing a kiss and waving at Jezebel, who spits in her direction and curses at her in French.]
Wilden: Whoa! Some tempers already being exchanged here...
Hart: Cat-fight! Cat-fight!
Wilden: That is so cliche... but anyway, it looks as if Conklin and Evette will start things off. Evette and Conklin lock horns and Conklin has a side headlock cinched in there.
Hart: Looks like Evette’s whipping Conklin into the ropes, but OH NO! Conklin rebounded with a handspring back elbow smash there!
Wilden: She quickly makes the tag to Phantasy who climbs the top rope as Evette gets to her feet and hits the top rope Thesz Press with great execution!
Hart: No Evette, get up!
Wilden: Look at Phantasy, pummelling away at Evette! Now Phantasy gets up and does an Irish Whip to the corner and grabs the arm and looks to be walking the ropes, but OH NO!
Hart: Ha ha, I love it! Jezebel with the save there, crotching Phantasy on the ropes, allowing Evette to tag in Jezebel who’s like a shark smelling blood in the water.
Wilden: Oh god, she’s kicking away at Phantasy with those stiff Kawada style kicks. Conklin tries to go for the save but the referee holds her at bay and it allows Jezebel and Evette to both stomp away at Phantasy!
Robbie Hart: For two people who I didn’t think would work together much, Jezebel and Evette seem to be showing a little cohesivene unit! Now Jezebel makes the tag to Evette and holds Phantasy in position to take a top rope Double Axe Handle from Evette.
Lance Wilden: Now Evette goes for the Northern Lights Suplex and has a pin attempt...
One...
Two...
Hart: NO! Damn that do-gooding Meghan Conklin! She just HAD to make the save and now Phantasy’s paying the price as Evette and Jezebel hit a double DDT before Evette makes the tag to Jezebel.
Wilden: Oh no, she’s got her by the hair... this won’t be good...
Hart: CURB STOMP with authority! And I’d be surprised if Phantasy isn’t missing a few teeth after that. Jezebel’s going up top and she missed the Split-Legged Moonsault with her stomach hitting the knees of Phantasy and both competitors are down!
Wilden: Conklin shouting for Phantasy to make the tag and both women are crawling toward their respective corners...
Hart: Jezebel with the hot tag... I don’t think Phantasy will make it-
Wilden: YES SHE DOES!!! Conklin comes in like a ball of fire and snapmares Evette before hitting a dropkick and Jezebel’s charging toward her, only to get met with “Welcome 2 Defiance”!
Hart: Conklin’s on a roll here and she just hit a Snap Suplex to Evette and follows it up with a Meg Factor as Phantasy watches Jezebel roll to the outside and hits a top rope suicide cross body press to her! Look at the carnage!
Wilden: Conklin’s going up and she hit’s that Swanton of hers perfectly on Evette’s stomach and rolls her up for the pin...
One...
Two...
THREE!!!
Donna Dixon: Ladies and Gentlemen, here are your winners... the team of Phantasy and Meghan Conklin!!!
Robbie Hart: I don’t believe it, Evette was robbed!
Wilden: And Jezebel’s now realizing they just lost and WHAM! She just hit Conklin in the back of the head and now Evette is brawling with Phantasy!
Hart: We need security out here QUICK because I don’t think these four are going to wait for Slam in the Sand!
Wilden: Security FINALLY made it out here and it’s taken fifteen security guards to break this free-for-all up and all four combatants are STILL trying to get each other!
[Suddenly, the camera's cut to the doorway of Tony Awesome's office. He is in the middle of a coversation with Mary-Joe Wolf. He looks amused as she complains.
Mary-Joe:... And I think after last week, you owe me one. We deserve this, Tony! My girls deserve this as well as the other girls on this roster as well. We need to be equally represented or this IS something I can make a pain in the ass for you.
Awesome: Mary-Joe, you make everything a pain in the ass for me! You make everything a pain in the ass for everyone! But I can't stand you and don't want you in my office for longer than you should be!
Mary-Joe: Because my empowerment scares you!
Awesome: No, your empowerment is annoying! I will take your request under serious advisement! I'm not kidding, it is a good idea. BUT just as I need to please the women in this company, I also have a responsibility to please alot of people. So, if you really want this, you need to do something for me! There has been something I wanted to see you do for a long time!
Mary-Joe: No... I am certainly not doing that. That is degrading! That is harassment Mr.!
Awesome: I guess I can't really sign off on this then!
[Mary-Joe looks very upset as Awesome smiles.]
Mary-Joe: Fine! Let's negotiate this!
Awesome: Great!
[Tony Awesome closes the door blocking off all view of what is happening inside the office.]
[Cameras cut to right outside the arena, where an elderly woman in a raincoat is screaming at the top of her lungs, pointing aimlessly at a tree, obviously plastic, next to her. On further notice, it can be seen that the entire backdrop of the Chicago area is nothing more than a fake landscape. After several moments of inaudible screaming, a pause is heard]
Elderly Woman: Somebody! Help me! My Grover is stuck up in that tree and I’m too weak and frail to help him!
[From the bushes towards the right-hand part of the screen, a rustling is heard. Suddenly, purple smoke fills the entire landscape, causing the elderly lady to choke and grasp at her chest. “Push it to the Limit” by Paul Engemann suddenly begins to play as a masked, caped man vaults on to the scene, almost on cue as the smoke begins to fade]
Masked Man: Ma’am, what seems to be the problem here? I heard your calls and came to your assistance!
Elderly Woman: [coughing] My cat – it’s up in that tree! And he’s afraid of heights!
Masked Man! Never fear! I’ll get your beloved Grover down!
Elderly Woman: How did you know his name?
Masked Man: I know all!
[The man in the mask runs off screen, then returns pulling a ladder. He sets the ladder up and begins to climb it. A microphone is seen in the picture, but quickly pulled away. After several moments of intense laboring, the man grabs the cat, which immediately begins to hiss and claw at him. The man very gingerly grabs the cat and descends the ladder]
Masked Man: Here is your wonderful darling, ma’am!
Elderly Woman: Thank you, thank you so much, sir! What is your name?
Masked Man: Why, my name is Captain Magnificent! And I hope you have a magnificent day!
[The feed suddenly turns to pitch black, showcasing a picture of the Masked Man in the upper right-hand corner smiling]
[The camera cuts backstage as Fighting Champion of the United Kingdom, Jacob “The Bastard” Baxter stands in front of a black backdrop. He has the FCUK title on his right arm, the camera is focused in a tight bust shot. Baxter cracks a smile and greets us.]
Jacob Baxter: Allo. Tonight, Raymond Jacobson has accepted the open invitation for the Fighting Championship of the United Kingdom Challenge. First, you’ve got quite the pair of bollocks to take on such a feat. But, I suppose you need a break from getting your arse handed to you by Chandler Edsel Dalmon and his merry men. It must be quite embarrassing. ‘ow do you sleep at night? That’s the equivalent of being beaten by a gang of poindexters!
[Baxter shakes his head in disbelief. He takes a moment to ponder said situation and has a bit of a chuckle to himself. He regains his composure before he continues]
Baxter: But who am I to judge? Everyone else says “this Jacobson is a tough kid”, “he’s gonna be a superstar one day”, “he can wrestle circles around people”. I dare ya to wrestle circles around me. Easy solution? My boot in your face, yea? That will get the job done. Maybe the ink from those tattoos has just seeped into your veins and driven you mad!
[He pauses and squints his eyes as he collects his thoughts for a second.]
Baxter: They once called me a promising kid. People said “oh yeah, lil’ Jacob, he’s a fighter, he never quits”, and this is true. Although I didn’t make it to where I am now without cuts, bruises, broken bones, and arse kicking after arse kicking. Luckily, I’ve paid my dues. Sadly, youth is your curse. Embrace it, young Raymond! These days won’t last forever. I wish you the ever best of luck, mate. It may be your best friend in this match.
[Baxter takes the belt off his shoulder and holds it to the camera]
Baxter: Come and get it…the beast awaits you…Cheers!
[We are left with a parting shot of Baxter smiling into the camera as the segment fades to a close]
[Johnny Serious, wearing his F*CK DANGEROUS, BE SERIOUS shirt, is walking backstage when he is stopped by Tony Awesome]
Tony Awesome: Hey Johnny, I am sorry about last week. I promise you, tonight, for this tag team main event, I will provide security to protect both you and Josh Cantrell...
[Serious stares Awesome down for a few seconds]
Johnny Serious: Are You SERIOUS?
Tony Awesone: huh?
Johnny Serious: Why the hell should I believe you. You're the dumb ass that signed this match tonight. If you were so concerned about my well being, I wouldn't be going up against 13 people!
Tony Awesome: What are you saying?
Johnny Serious: I'm saying...you can take that SECURITY order and wipe off your d*ck with it! I'm not happy about this match, but I'm not scared of it, I never needed help to kick Mr. Rich's ass before, and that's never gonna change!!!!!
[Johnny Serious walks off camera as Tony Awesome shakes his head in disappointment.]
Hart: Johnny can not say words like that....he should be fined!
Wilden: At this point, I don't think Serious cares about being fined. He has had enough of guys like Nick Dangerous and Mr. Rich pulling their stunts, week after week.
Hart: Nick Dangerous hasn't been seen in weeks, leave him out of the equation!
Wilden: Well folks, Serious rejects the offer of a security team for tonight's main event. What else is going to happen tonight?
Hart: I’ll tell you what’ll happen tonight! The World Gentleman’s League will happen tonight! I think adding Johnny Lugs put them over the edge! Nobody’s gonna stop them, Lance!
Wilden: Have they won a match?
Hart: What? They’re LEGENDS of the squared circle, Lance! Hollywoodland Thaddeus Walker made this business what it is today back in the 20s!
Wilden: Regardless, they made another enemy last week in Barrett Hawk, and tonight he looks to get even against Chandler Dalmon!
Hart: Chandler EDSEL Dalmon, Lance!
Wilden: Oh… excuse me! Personally, I don’t think I’m alone in hoping that Hawk pummels Chandler in this one!
Hart: If Hawk wants to hit something, he should hit the books. Knowledge is power, Lance!
[The lights dim and the rampway lights with flashing pink and blue colors. The stage looks incredibly retro as "Welcome to the Jungle" by Richard Cheese begins to play across the arena. Once the song picks up, Chandler Dalmon appears on the rampway wearing a courdaroy jacket and a fadora! The minute he steps onto the rampway, fireworks shoot off from the ceiling to both sides of the ramp. As the fireworks blaze from one side of the ramp to the other on each side, Chandler rolls his and chuckles. Then fireworks come blasting from the cWo tron as a banner that says "Chandler Dalmon is here" unfolds to each side. And finally doves fly from the top of the cWo-tron as Chandler looks up cracking up! He looks at the fans and goes "Did you see that? That was so elaborate! That's hilarious!" Chandler continues to strut down the walkway. The minute he slides into the ring, fireworks shoot from all the ring posts and then a barrage of fireworks erupt from the scaffolding above him! He grabs the mic and smiles at the crowd in the arena.]
Dixon: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, entering the ring first weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds. He hails from Delaware, Chandlerrrrrr Daaaaaaalmooooon.
Hart: Aren't you excited Lance? Big Smarty is here and he is going to be passing on his wisdom to us!
Wilden: You mean talk down to us!
Hart: Yeah! He is great!
[Chandler clears his throat for a second and then begins his spiel.]
Dalmon: Pardon me, are you prepared?
[There is barely any response from the crowd.]
Dalmon: Let me repeat to clarify... are you prepared?
[Once again, there is no response.]
Hart: I'm prepared!
[Chandler just shrugs!
Dalmon: In that case, for aproximately eight thousand and twenty who actually paid money to watch a lesser medium such as this... For the 44.2% watching at home, while they should be doing something productive like spending time with their kids, or reading a book, or learning a second language...
[Chandler pauses for a second and then leans back as he finishes up his little monologue.]
Dalmon: PLEASE BE ON GUARD TO ORALLY RECIEVE FLUIDS FROM MY NETHER REGION!!!!
[The crowd boos and are a little grossed out!]
Wilden: Well, that's classy!
Hart: He is making a statement!
Wilden: What statement?
Hart: I don't know, that is how smart he is... he goes completely over my head and yours too!
[Chandler listens to the boos.]
Dalmon: Please, Mr. Hawk isn't out here yet! Plus, he might be classless and a bit simple from a simple area of the country, but I don't think he deserves to be booed even before he comes out!
Hart: See, he is even sticking up for his opponent against these blood thirsty fans.
Wilden: The sad thing is that he actually believe they are not booing him!
Dalmon: Now before I make Mr. Hawk enlightened to actual intellect and thus begin him on the road to better himself and strive for excellence, there is something I'd like to point out. As you all know, last week I was involved in a tag team match with my buddy Jacob Baxter against my former best buddy Raymond Jacobson and the man who is vying for a shot at the FCUK title: Josh Cantrell. Okay, with that set up, I'd like to show you all some video footage!
[He faces the cWo tron as a clip of the match last weeks plays. Footage of Chandler pinning Cantrell runs about three times in a row.]
Dalmon: So technically, shouldn't this make me the REAL number 1 contender to the FCUK title? Don't get me wrong, I'm going to be a gentleman and let Mr. Cantrell get his title shot because I am a very generous man. But I just want to make everyone aware of the TRUE rankings when it comes to the FCUK title. And I also want to remind everyone I have a pinfall on the supposed "GREAT" Josh Cantrell!
Wilden: Good, great, can he just get to the match now?
Hart: No, I think he has more he wants to say!
Dalmon: But let me address, my opponent! Barret, you are taking things way too personally! I don't hate you, I didn't have some vendetta against you... in fact it is just the opposite! I pity you! You are just so helpless and have no way how to figure out this mortal coil. I've been watching... okay that's a lie, I've been told about your struggles with Mike Logan. And the troubles just won't end for you. Whether it be Mike Logan, the WGL or anyone else, you are always going to be struggling with probably your greatest rival: yourself! Your values keep you from being the man you should be... therefore you are always fighting your way out of a paper bag! And it's never going to stop until you admit that you have a problem. As a Psychology major, I know the symptons of a mental illness when I see it. May I suggest you see your doctor, if you have health insurance which is obvious you don't, and get him to prescribe an anti-depressent called Welbutrin. It works wonders for mentally ill and I think you might level yourself off. With that out of the way, you wanted a member of the World Gentlemen League, well you have him. You have the most intellegent man in the cWo and a man who is going to teach you how to wrestle a smart match... not this hick stuff you are used to! So come on out my good man.
[“Simple Man” kicks up on the sound system, as a positive reaction is heard for Barrett Hawk's entrance, Barrett Hawk then comes out sporting his trademark cowboy hat, while he clutches the top corners of an American Flag to his wrists, keeping his hands to his shoulders, wrapping the flag around him as he walks down the aisle.]
Dixon: And his opponent, he hails from Sulphur, Oklahoma, weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds, he is Barreeeeeett Hawk.
Hart: Well class is almost in session for this joker.
Wilden: For who? Barrett or Chandler?
Hart: I think the answer's obvious, Lance.
Wilden: I think the WGL are under estimating the people that they've been choosing to pick on.
Hart: Well once again we disagree.
Wilden: Big shocker.
Hart: I just think Barrett's got some nerve defending himself against the WGL.
Wilden: Wow, what?
Hart: Look at Mike Logan, for example, have we heard anything from him? No! Because WGL got him, fair game, Logan understands that!
[Once in the ring he stands on the second rope, and raises both arms in the air. dropping the American flag with both hands showing a gesture of love.]
Wilden: You know, there used to be a time where wrestlers let the wrestling decide the better man. Maybe Thaddeus ought to innovate that concept instead of this group of his going around robbing the fans of good wrestling.
Hart: Ah what do you know.
[Aaron Blake gets the wrestlers to meet in the center of the ring, as he calls for the bell.]
DING DING DING
Wilden: Here we go. Time for Chandler to put up or shut up.
Hart: He's been putting up since Glory, Lance! He pinned Cantrell last week, why should this week be any different?
[After circling one another briefly, Chandler offers his hand in the center of the ring.]
Hart: Look at that, how's that for sportsmanship? Huh?
Wilden: I wouldn't trust him for a second.
[Barrett looks put off by the gesture, but opts to accept the handshake.]
Wilden: No Barrett don't!...
Hart: What?
[Chandler releases the handshake as he resumes circling his opponent.]
Wilden: Chandler is definitely showing his sense of irony here, there's no way that handshake was genuine.
Hart: Such a skeptic, Lance.
[The two prepare to lock horns, as Barrett approaches Chandler, Chandler welcomes the advance as he gestures to Barrett to bring it.]
Wilden: And they lock ho-oh! Not quite! Barrett just locked up Chandler in a front face lock!
[Chandler struggles out of the hold, spinning out and getting behind Barrett with a hammerlock, with Barrett in a seated position.]
Wilden: Chandler with the hammerlock.
[Barrett spins out and takes Chandler down with a fireman's carry.]
Wilden: And Barrett's unleashing!
[Barrett tries to follow up but Chandler quickly rolls on his stomache and crawls backwards into the corner.]
Wilden: But Chandler backpedals out of harm's way.
[Chandler gets to his feet as Barrett is in a wrestling stance, Chandler slaps himself in the head and psyches himself up as he charges after Barrett, and catches him off guard with a thumb in the eye, shouting “swerve!” after doing it.]
Wilden: Here I thought Chandler was actually turning over a new leaf.
Hart: It's called a plot twist Lance, it's deeper than you know!
Wilden: Well Chandler now with a headlock applied, taking control of the match thus far. And Barrett is down with a headlock takedown. Chandler keeping the headlock still securely fastened.
[Aaron Blake gets in position to see what Barrett's gonna do as he kicks his legs up trying to catch Chandler in a leg scissors, but Chandler pulls away from it.]
Wilden: Barrett trying his hardest to get out of it, who knows how deep Chandler jammed his thumb in that eye.
Hart: Forget about the thumb in the eye, Chandler's putting on a wrestling clinic now!
[Barrett powers Chandler over to his back, bridging him with a pin.]
Wilden: Pin out of nowhere.
ONE
Wilden: Only one.
Hart: That's the most he could hope for.
Wilden: Barrett now bringing himself to his feet, headlock still applied.
[Barrett backs against the ropes, shaking Chandler off with a whip.]
Wilden: Chandler off the ropes.
[Chandler brings Barrett down with a shoulder block.]
Wilden: Barrett down.
[Chandler goes against the other ropes, while Barrett rolls over to his chest, as Chandler hops over and runs again to the opposite ropes.]
Wilden: Barrett to his feet and..!
[Barrett wraps his arms around Chandler, going for a belly to belly suplex, but Chandler stomps on Barrett's foot to get out of it.]
Wilden: Stamp of the foot to Barrett...And a spinning neckbreaker! Tough break for Barrett, and he's the pin.
ONE
Wilden: And another kickout.
[Chandler then picks Barrett off the mat.]
Hart: I bet this is hard for you to accept Lance, Chandler's mentally picking your favorite apart.
Wilden: Chandler can be very good at what he does when he wants to be. It's just rare occasion that he shows us that side of him.
[Chandler greets Barrett with a headbutt after bringing him to his feet, and then pulling him into the corner.]
Hart: Look at those elbows!
Wilden: Yes Chandler now punishing Barrett with back elbow strikes. You can hear the rally of support getting behind Barrett Hawk.
Hart: What makes you so sure that's Barrett Hawk they're supporting?
[Aaron Blake begins counting to five for Chandler to take the match out of the corner, Chandler counts along with him until the four count, when Chandler pulls Barrett out from the corner and scoop slams him to the mat.]
Hart: Chandler Dalmon is DOMINATING.
Wilden: He's doing a good job maintaining the upper hand thus far.
[Chandler goes to the second rope, as he looks down the Barrett and shouts “FROG SPLASH!”]
Hart: Frog splash!?
[Chandler leaps off the second rope, and lands on his feet before Barrett, only to plant a foot on his chest for a pin and raise his arms.]
ONE
Wilden: Another early kickout, you start thinking Chandler is getting serious and then he pulls something like that.
[Barrett tries inching away from Chandler, scooching himself away with his arms, as Chandler mockingly follows after, as cameras catch him saying “he's getting away! Oh no! Haha, just kidding,” as he speeds after him, but as he catches up Barrett takes him down with a drop toe hold, and hooks him in a single leg lock.]
Wilden: Barrett is still in the game! He's got Dalmon in a leg lock!
Hart: Grab the ropes Chandler, grab the ropes! Yes!
[Chandler gets a hold of the ropes before long as Aaron Blake tells Barrett to release the hold.]
Wilden: Chandler catches a lucky break there.
[Chandler gets to his feet as Barrett slowly follows. As he gets up Chandler tries for a running boot.]
Wilden: Missed mafia kick! Barrett with a schoolboy!
ONE
Wilden: Kickout!
[Both men rise to their feet as Chandler and Barrett meet on their way up, when Barrett finishes what he started with a belly to belly suplex.]
Wilden: Side belly to belly suplex! He did it! And the pin!
ONE
TWO
Wilden: Kickout! Not enough!
Hart: Phew!
[Barrett then goes to the second rope as Chandler slowly recovers.]
Hart: Barrett's in over his head here!
Wilden: What's he gonna do?
[Chandler starts pulling down on Aaron Blake's shirt to get up, as Barrett continues to wait for his recovery.]
Wilden: Chandler isn't making Aaron Blake's job easy here...wait what the! No!
[Chandler throws the referee in Barrett's direction, causing Barrett to hold his hands out to his shoulders to stop him from falling over, when Chandler uses the distraction to plant a haymaker to the face of Barrett Hawk.]
Wilden: What a sneaky move!
Hart: It's genius Lance! Genius!
Wilden: Well Barrett now reeling, seated on the top rope.
[Chandler Dalmon climbs to the second rope, hooking Barrett up for a top rope superplex.]
Wilden: This isn't looking good for Barrett.
Hart: Was it ever?
[Chandler tries to lift Barrett for the suplex, but Barrett grabs hold of the top rope to hold his ground.]
Wilden: Barrett isn't ready to go!
Hart: It's only a matter of time man!
[After the struggle, Chandler jerks back for a righth and, but Barrett blocks it.]
Wilden: Barrett now...Barrett knocked Chandler off the top rope with a vicious european uppercut!
[The fans cheer as Barrett then moves to the top rope.]
Wilden: Is it time for the country bump?
Hart: Get up Chandler! Stop faking it!
[Cameras then catch Xyce Pac standing on the apron getting Aaron Blake's attention.]
Wilden: Wait a minute!
[Barrett then leaps off the top rope and knocks Xyce Pac off the apron with a top rope clothesline.]
Wilden: Barrett just clotheslined Xyce Pac out of the picture!
Hart: Turn around Barrett! Come on!
[Barrett looks on at the fallen Xyce Pack as Chandler is seen on his feet ready for Barrett to turn around.]
Wilden: Chandler with a kick to the gut...and a vertical suplex?
[As Chandler lifts Barrett up for the suplex, Barrett spins out and lands on his feet behind him.]
Wilden: Not quite!
[Chandler turns around, when Barrett drops him with a double leg takedown and goes for the Texas Cloverleaf.]
Wilden: Texas Cloverleaf! Texas Cloverleaf!
Hart: Not so fast Lance!
Wilden: Spin 'im around Barrett! Make him tap!
[Barrett struggles to turn Chandler over for the Cloverleaf, when cameras catch Mike Logan who's ran down the aisle to try pull a recovering Xyce Pac from the climbing the ring apron again, seeing Mike Logan grabs Barrett's attention enough for Chandler to pull Barrett into a cradle pin.]
Wilden: Wait a second!
ONE
TWO
THREE
Wilden: I can't believe it!
DING DING DING
[Chandler immediately dashes out of the ring, as Xyce jumps in the air in victory following after, as cameras stay with Mike Logan who looks disappointed.]
Wilden: What was Mike Logan doing? Has he had a change of heart?
Hart: What a pansy!
Wilden: You should be thankful, Robbie, he just costed Barrett the match!
Hart: Barrett's been nothing but rude to Mike, why would Mike wanna help him out any more than he's already tried to?
[Logan shrugs his shoulders as he walks up the aisle.]
Wilden: Well there ya go. I guess you can only pretend to care for so long.
Dixon: The winner of this match by pinfall. Chandlerrrrrrr Daaaaalmooon!
[Cameras square in on Barrett Hawk, who looks extremely disappointed in the loss.]
Hart: What's Barrett's problem? Every time Logan tries to help the guy, Barrett treats him like he slept with his sister! Even though I'm sure even Barrett sleeps with his sister!
Wilden: Robbie!
[Cameras then focus on Dalmon at the stage area, who is heard saying “raise my hand!” as Xyce Pac complies with his instructions.]
Wilden: If it were up to me I'd say Barrett is due a rematch, poor kid can't catch a break!
[Mr. Rich, in a business suit, is standing in a locker room with 12 men, All students of the NICK DANGEROUS WRESTLING ACADEMY. They are all wearing shirts with Numbers written on them, from 1 to 12. Number 1 looks to be the most physically fit and as you work down to Number 12, they all appear to get more pathetic, with a skinny, scrawny Number 12.]
Mr. Rich: Well I'm still waiting for one more student, but I can fill him in when he gets here...Students...tonight, is your chance to show the world what your made of. And it is not going to be easy. All of you are going to go out there and put your bodies on the line in what may be the toughest battle of your career....who the hell am I kidding.
[Mr. Rich gives out a laugh as do some of the students]
Mr. Rich: Guys...tonight, you have been given a gift. A gift to appear in the ring along side of me and have your chance to go face to face with that low class piece of trash Johnny Serious and that pathetic peasant, Josh Cantrell! Nick Dangerous and I are giving you an opportunit of a life time to thrive here in the cWo. An opportunity to showcase your talents. Nick and I have spent hours....I mean weeks training you guys to be the very best...well, not the very best, I mean that distinction is set for myself and Nick Dangerous, but we trained you to be half as good as we are which is still ten times better then anyone in this arena tonight!!!!!!! Tonight will be a privaledge for you all to wrestle aside myself....
NUMBER 12: Excuse me, but aren't we in this match because you can't beat SERIOUS on your own.
[Number 1 smacks Number 12 in the back of the head as Mr. Rich gets in the face of Number 12]
Mr. Rich: Did you just say what I think you just said....does anyone else agree with this MAGGOT!!!!!!
[Numbers 1 though 11 stand quiet]
Mr. Rich: You don't quite get it do you Number 12. You people have been given an opportunity that only comes once in a life time, and 12 of you are getting it tonight. I could beat those scumbags any night of the week, but I thought I would be nice and leave some of the fun for you. I wanted to give back to my community and you repay me by spitting out a bunch of nonsense....
Number 12: I'm sorry sir, your right....just a little nervous.
Mr. Rich: Nervousness is for the weak Number 12. Together, we are strong. We are Confident, and WE WILL CONQUOR!!!!!!
Mr. Rich and the 12 students all scream and chant as the scene fades.
[We now head backstage to find J.J. Carter and Brother Shabazz sitting in a locker room, alone. The two just look disgusted, and have their heads pointing towards the floor.]
Shabazz: Man, can you believe that bitch?
Carter: We got her into this whole thing, and this is how she repays us?
Shabazz: Stabs us in the back and joins our enemies? What good is she anyway? She's friggin' crazy.
Carter: I wonder how long Mary-Joe can get her to not smoke.
Shabazz: She's probably in a storage closet smoking three at the same time, trying to catch up...
Carter: Whatever, we don't need her. We can do this on our own. The women think they have it so bad, they have to play strength in numbers just to take us down. Aside from Jen Diamond having to deal with Heretic, when have any of those gals been dealt a bad hand in life? When did they really face persecution? They have no idea what we went through growing up, simply because we are black. We live in housing projects, our fathers run out from a young age, violence is rampant. You're not expected to live more than 25, unless you get a super long jail sentence before hand. What does a white woman have going wrong in their lives? They're in the highest demand.
Shabazz: A white woman can play with any guy's mind, then hold out on sex... just to control him. All a girl got to do is play interested and the man buckles to his knees.
Carter: As I was saying...
Shabazz: But you know, Mary-Joe is buck ass ugly. No wonder she bitter, men don't want her. I sure as hell wouldn't. Chastity is a lesbian, so she hates men to begin with. Jen Diamond, scarred for life. Maddie, that bitch is crazy... no guy would even bother other than a drunken one night hookup. No wonder she pissed off and joined Mary Joe and the bitter bitches.
Carter: Eh, I wouldn't have put it like that. But I suppose could be a theory.
Shabazz: Theory? Uh, no. Is. You go drag down the resident manwhores in this company, they'll tell you the same exact thing. Nobody wants any of them bitches. They be bitter because of it.
Carter: I just can't wait to show them a lesson. Less than two weeks, we will prove ourselves to them, this company, and the world.
Hart: Did you hear that?! Did you hear what they said about Mary-Joe! What scumbags!
Wilden: They’re obviously offended by the decision by Maddie to turn against them. I mean, they DID bring her to cWo, and she repays them by stabbing them in the back!
Hart: I’m sure she has a great reason for it, Lance!
Wilden: Sure, that she’s an ungrateful brat!
Hart: Brat? What’s that some kind of degrading term for women, you misogynist!
Wilden: Well folks, up next we have…
["Indestructable" by Disturbed cues on the PA and the crowd stands on it's feet as fireworks shoot out of the ramp. They become to cheer racously as "The Comeback Kid" Andrew Phillips limps out onto the stagewith a serious look on his face and the cWo World Heavyweight Championship on his shoulder.]
Donna Dixon: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome at this time, he is THE NEEEEEWWWWWWW CWO WORRRLLDD HEEEAVVYWEEIGHT CHAMMPIOOn, "THE COMEBACK KID", ANNNDDDRREEEWW PHILLIPPSS!!
Wilden: Hold that though, the World Champion is here!
Hart: The world champion FOR NOW!
[Andrew skips his usual fanfare and hurries to the ring, taking the mic from Donna Dixon.]
Andrew: For the last few weeks, I’ve been hearing the same question a lot, “Are you afraid of Heretic?” I’ve been asked this by interviewers, by my close friends, even by my own family. It seems like everyone expects me to be scared. Everyone’s surprised when I say I’m not, like I’m doing something wrong. Well, the truth is, I haven’t been worrying myself. I’ve been preparing for a match at Slam in the Sand against whoever they throw at me, and trying to block out the distractions, the backstage antics that would keep me from focusing on what I need to do. But last week something happened that got my attention. Heretic beat Chazz Mendel straight up. No controversy, no dirty tricks, he made Chazz Mendel tap out right in the middle of the ring. Well, Heretic, you got my attention. I know what you’re capable of. But am I afraid? NO. Because I know I can beat you….
[“Living in the Sunlight, Loving in he Moonlight” begins to play and the crowd erupts in a loud chorus of boos as Heretic steps out from behind the curtain. He laughs almost uncontrollably as he walks into the ring with a mic, and stands face to face with Heretic.]
Heretic: Well, ANDY, I’m glad I got your attention! But the more important thing, Andy, is that Chazzy is finally getting the HELP HE NEEDS! But Andy, you still are MISSING THE POINT! I didn’t beat Mendel last week to SCARE you. I don’t care if you’re afraid or not. If I wanted to scare you, I’d jump out from corners in ghost costume. No Andrew, what I want to do is BREAK YOU DOWN. I want to CRACK YOUR ARMOR, to shatter the façade. I don’t want you to be afraid of me, Andrew. I simply want you to stop lying to me, to all these [chortles] people and most importantly… YOURSELF. You’re not a family man… you’re in this for YOU. You don’t care about “the business,” you just wanted a gold belt, something you think makes you GOD!
Andrew: I know who I am. And this belt doesn’t make me God. This belt is a symbol of 15 long years of hard work. Why don’t YOU come clean, Heretic?
Heretic: You think I WANT to be this way?
Andrew: I think YOU’RE afraid. You’ve gotta take personal shots, because you know that now that you’re no longer in the shadows, now that you don’t have protection, now that you’re on your own, you can’t compete.
Heretic: [laughs] Well Andrew, you can believe whatever you want…
Andrew: I will. I believe in my ability. I believe that my history speaks for itself, and I don’t have to answer for any of it. What you better believe, Heretic, is that you haven’t broken me. You haven’t gotten in my head like you got in Muru’s head or Chazz’s head. I’m focused on you, I’m focused on Slam in the Sand….
Heretic: What about the little gift I gave you today, are you focused on that?!
[Andrew grits his teeth, holding back.]
Heretic: I mean, if you’d like, I can just tell all these people the real story. Would you like that, Andy? Story time?
Andrew: I’ll see you at Slam in the Sand.
[Andrew turns his back on Heretic and exits the ring.]
Heretic: Oh, but we’re not done! You see, for all the talk you give about your parents, about your pride in being a second generation superstar… you forgot to mention someone else, YOUR SISTER!
[Andrew stops in his tracks.]
Heretic: Poor, poor Liz Phillips. Always having to live up to Mommy and Daddy’s high standards. Always having to be in the shadow of their favorite, their golden child, Andy Phillips. It’s no wonder she ended up like she did.
[Andrew turns and yells at Heretic.]
Andrew; You don’t know anything about that!
Heretic: Oh, but I do. You see, I’m an outcast myself, Andrew… and to be outcast by your own family, well… it’s devastating. It’s no wonder she became an addict. And a whore.
[Andrew grits his teeth, walks over to the timekeeper, pushes him off the chair and picks it up.]
Heretic: There we go, Andy! Come on! Gimmie your best shot!
[Andrew starts towards the ring, then stops himself.]
Hart: What’s he afraid of?!
Wilden; He doesn’t want to play into Heretic’s hands!
Hart: So he’s gonna let him talk about his sister that way?
Heretic: But what were mommy and daddy to do? I mean, they couldn’t have their little girl embarrassing the family name, could they? So they sent her away to rehab, and when that didn’t work, they sent her again, and again, and again. That girl really likes the stuff, doesn’t she?
[Andrew is now furious. He slides into the ring, holding the chair and staring down Heretic.]
Heretic: But you see, those centers, they’re all voluntary, so ANYONE can just walk in. So, I paid a little visit to Liz. I mean, she’s locked away, her family’s abandoned her, SOMEONE’s got to visit her, am I right? So as you saw, Andy.. we had a little photo shoot!
[Andrew raises the chair to hit Heretic, but again tries to restain himself.]
Hart: Hit him! What kind of Champion are you?
Wilden: Don’t do it, Andrew! Be the better man, don’t stoop to his level!
Hart: It’s his SISTER, Lance!
Heretic: I gotta tell you, Andy, Liz is a very special lady. I mean, the things she’ll do for a few ounce….
[Before Heretic can finish, he’s tackled to the mat by Andrew Phillips. The crowd erupts as Andrew Phillips completely loses it, wailing away on Heretic with his fists! He gets to his feet, picks up the chair and begins to smash it onto Heretic]
Hart: Finally!!!!
Wilden: No! He played right into Heretic’s hands! We saw Muru go down a similar path!
Hart: He defended himself, finally! He stopped ignoring the problem!
Wilden: Heretic is LAUGHING, Robbie! This is what he wanted!!
[Andrew drives the chair into the midsection of Heretic, then mounts him and begins to hammer away with punches.]
Hart: This isn’t gonna wait till Slam in the Sand!
[cWo security comes rushing out of the back, quickly storming the ring and separating the two. Two security guards hold Andrew back as he continues to scream at Heretic, who crawls to the corner, wips the blood from his lower lip, and laughs. Andrew gets past the security guards and begins to stomp away on the prone Heretic as he’s pulled away again by security, and more security guards rush into the ring]
Wilden: Folks, we need to defuse this situation! We’re gonna take a quick commercial break and come back with more cWo action! Don’t touch that dial!
[Andrew Phillips continues to struggle against security as the show cuts to a commercial. ]
Backstage in the interview area, Jason Duran stands next to Mary-Joe Wolf, Jen Diamond and Chastity McGavin in the interview area. Jen and Mary-Joe have smiles on their faces as Chastity just looks neutral.]
Duran: Mary-Joe last week, you gained another moral victory over JJ Carter and Brother Shabazz. Where are you going to take this now?
Mary-Joe: Well, first, I just want everybody to look at the show tonight. And then look at our impact last week. Does something come to mind?
Duran: No!
Mary-Joe: That is because you are a man. Our actions were so strong, so powerful, that the men in charge are censoring us. Awesome has purposely kept us off the card because it was the women who stole the show last week. I'm sure if you'll check last week's ratings, you'll find that the ratings DOUBLED during our match where I scored a pinfall over our opponents. I struck a blow for all of woman kind... we struck a blow for all womankind. We are uniting the females of this organization one at a time! When JJ and Shabazz step into the ring with my two girls, they are also facing an army of women who won't tolerate being treated like second classs citizens anymore!
[Jason Duran rolls his eyes.]
Duran: Speaking of which you gained another follower to your cause last week. Madeline Brown, Carter's and Shabazz's manager, turned her back on them and joined you. Can you shed more light onto that situation.
[Jen Diamond answers for Mary-Joe.]
Diamond: Plain and simple Jason. She decided that she was tired of living the life of a pitbull and instead is living the life of an actual woman, not slave to the male system! For the first time in her life, she made the right choice. She chose not to be held back anymore. She chose to have a voice! Which is why we are going to let her explain to you her reasons and motives instead of speaking for her!
[Mary-Joe and Jen look to the side as Madeline Brown walks awkwardly into the inteview area. She is wearing a nice skirt and blouse and high heels. She doesn't look very happy. She reaches for something in her pockets, but looks frustrated when she can't find it. Mary-Joe smirks as she holds Maddie's cigarettes up and pulls them away.]
Mary-Joe: Only whores smoke cigarettes!
[Maddie looks upset as she takes the microphone and addresses the viewing audience.
Maddie:Maddie: Why did I join up with Mary Joe? That's probably what all you male pigs are wondering, huh? Are you upset now that I don't want you checking me out anymore? Are you upset that I don't want to be eye candy for you? Sure, I have only had three cigarettes all day and I don't know what the hell I'm doing wearing these damn clothes. Sure, I'm a total bitch. But you know what? I'm tired of it all.
[pause]
Maddie: Women control the world. For every strong man, there's a stronger woman behind them. And ever since I joined this company, I got dragged along by J.J. and Shabazz simply because all three of us are from Connecticut. All three of us have the same public defender. But that's where the similarities end. J.J. is a stiff. He probably wouldn't go to a seven year old's birthday party because there's some verse in the Quran which disallows it. Shabazz isn't much better. This company just sent me out there with those two, look good and help out the men. But no more. For far too long, I was restrained and fined... kept on a leash. Connextion and the CWO were afraid of me, what I as a woman can do.
Mary-Joe: Come on Madeline, tell it like it is...
Maddie: The men in this company treat us as eye candy. As inferior, weak, feeble creatures who cry at the slightest anything. Unable to put on a solid effort in the ring against the men. They don't see us as legitimate challengers. We don't have any championships, and you won't see Tony Awesome letting us get a crack at gold. But hey, who's the bitch in this company right now? Any of us girls, or Andrew Phillips? I could whip his ass to next Thursday easily and grab his belt along the way. Jen Diamond could whip his ass to next Thursday and grab his belt along the way. Chastity McGavin could whip Andrew Phillips' ass to next Thursday and grab his belt along the way. Us ladies won't take crap no more from the men around here, and we're about to prove it. And first on our agenda will be beating Carter and Shabazz, maybe after Slam in the Sand you men will pay attention to us and fear us like we should be feared. We are together strong. We are fighters, women against the injustice of the world created by the men. We no longer will let you men believe you are in control of us, your time has come.
[Mary-Joe applauds and then takes the microphone from Maddie.]
Mary-Joe: This is how this organization will be ran from now on! The women will be united! We will be equally represented and we will demand to be rewarded! Come on girls, let's go!
[Mary-Joe walks off confidently as Jen and Chastity follow her. Maddie awkwardly walks behind them with an uncertain look on her face.]
Hart: Yeah, go Mary-Joe!
Wilden: She’s obnoxious, all three of them!
Hart: Obnoxiously sexy!
Wilden: Folks, up next we have another US Title Challenge. Despite completely defacing and disrespecting the cWo United States Championship…
Hart: Fighting Championship of the United Kingdom, man! Get it right!
Widen: Whatever. Baxter hasn’t backed down on his word of defending the title. Although this methods of winning have been questionable at best.
Hart: What are you talking about? The man is a fighter! We haven’t seen a champion of that caliber around these parts in awhile, Lance!
Raymond Jacobson vs. Jacob Baxter (c)
[The lights flicker on and off a couple of times before cutting to complete black. The screen then flashes the words "Your New Drug Of Choice". We then begin to hear the sounds of "Drug Of Choice" by 10 Years. The lights begin to flash with a red tint to the beat of the song. Raymond then walks out on to the stage wearing his black pleather tights with a red RJ logo on both sides, and his black wrestling boots. He smirks as we get a good view of his face. Dark sunglasses cover his eyes as he looks into the camera.]
Donna Dixon: This match is set for one fall and is fore the FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE UNITED KINGDOM! First making his way down the aisle weighing in at 231 pounds from Pittsburgh, P.A., he is “Your New Drug of Choice”…RAYMOND JACOBSON!!!
[He then continues to walk down the ramp. As he reaches the ring he rolls under the ropes and gets to his feet before walking to the center of the ropes and climbing up on to the second rope raising both hands into the air above his head.]
Wilden: This young kid has had the deck stacked against him with Chandler Edsel Damon and the WGL breathing down his neck. But there’s no doubt this kid’s got fight in him and it’d be a grand moment to see him walk out with the gold tonight.
Hart: “Young kid” is the key term here, Lance. He’s still got a lot to learn. He’s young, he’s reckless, he’s naive. It’ll only get the best of him.
[Jacobson’s music fades. The lights in the arena dim. White lights begin to flash in throughout the arena as the intro to Oasis' "F***in' in the Bushes" plays. As the song kicks in Jacob Baxter emerges from behind the curtain with the FCUK title in tow.]
Donna Dixon: And his opponent, weighing in at 16.5 stone and hailing from Sydenham, London, England, he is the FIGHTING CHAMPION OF THE UNITED KINGDOM…JACOB “THE BASTARD” BAXTER!!!
[He walks down the entrance way exchanging disgusted glances with both sides of the crowd, stopping at the end of entrance way to glance at Jacobson. He walks up to the apron and reaches for the top rope to hoist himself up. Baxter climbs into the ring and walks around exchanging looks with the jeering audience.]
Wilden: “The Bastard” indeed lives up to his name. No one’s ever been as proud to have that nickname.
Hart: Before him, I think you had only used that title for me on occasion.
Wilden: Jacobson looks concentrated and ready to bring his A-game tonight.
DING DING DING
Wilden: No sneaky moves from Baxter here to start as Jacobson and Baxter circle each other, sizing one another up.
Hart: Sneaky moves? How dare you make such a claim, Lance! Jacob Baxter is a fair and stand up competitor.
Wilden: The world must look really simple in your eyes, Robbie. Like a toddler. Baxter and Jacobson lock up. Jacobson pushed back into the ropes. Baxter releases the hold. Baxter challenging Jacobson to a test of strength now.
Hart: If Jacobson knows what he’s doing, he’ll know not to test Baxter’s strength! Look at their size difference!
Wilden: There’s a four pound difference between the two. What are you talking about?
Hart: Who’s heavier?
Wilden: Baxter.
Hart: I rest my case!
Wilden: Jacobson hesitantly grabs a hold of one of Baxter’s hands. Baxter’s holding out the other one now. Oh! That bastard catches Jacobson with a blind right hand! Baxter drives Jacobson’s face into his knee! Never trust Baxter! See what I mean!
Hart: It’s a fight, not ballet, Lance. Jacobson should be prepared for anything.
Wilden: Jacobson backed into the corner now. Baxter’s unleashing knife-edged chops onto Jacobson! He whips him into the opposite corner. Baxter runs at Jacobson. Jacobson hops up and over! Dropkick to Baxter’s back! Jacobson grabs Baxter’s back, double knee backbreaker! Jacobson pins Baxter!
ONE
TWO
Wilden: Baxter kicks out! Wow! We could have almost had a new United States champion!
Hart: Raymond Jacobson does not have enough class to carry that title in the name of the Queen Mother.
Wilden: Jacobson bringing Baxter to his knees. Jacobson off the ropes and connects with a dropkick to Baxter! Baxter looks to be shaken up and caught off guard! Jacobson locks on a cravate on Baxter! He pulls Baxter up while locked in the cravate. Baxter fights back with shots to Jacobson’s midsection! Baxter reaches his leg to the ropes and Jacobson has no choice but to break! Baxter comes at Jacobson with a stiff forearm! Baxter with a kick to Jacobson’s midsection! Roundhouse kick by Baxter connects! Baxter takes down Jacobson with an STO!
Hart: Never doubt the power of the British, Lance!
Wilden: Baxter continues with stomps on Jacobson! Baxter driving his knee into Jacobson’s back! He’s got Jacobson’s head and now has what looks like a modified camel clutch on Jacobson with that knee driving in the extra pressure.
Hart: He’s humbling him!
Wilden: Jacobson in pain as the stress is being laid onto his back from Baxter. To add insult to injury, Baxter is scraping those roughly taped wrists against Jacobson’s face! Baxter lets go, letting Jacobson’s face fall to the mat. I guess Baxter’s not looking for a submission here. Pretty sloppy if you ask me.
Hart: Much like your face, right, Lance?
Wilden: Grow up, Robbie. Baxter’s bringing Jacobson back to a vertical position. He drives some forearms into Jacobson’s back along the way. Baxter back off the ropes! Jacobson ducks a leg lariat! Rolling koupo kick by Jacobson connects! Jacobson lifts Baxter into a fireman’s carry…ohh, he can’t get him up!
Hart: I told you he was too weak! Baxter is far stronger!
Wilden: Or MAYBE Jacobson’s back is a little worn down from Baxter’s non-stop attacks on it. Do you ever think?
Hart: Only when it involves Mary-Joe, Lance.
Wilden: Jacobson favoring his back. Baxter from out of nowhere with a Hooligan Kick! He took his head off! Baxter pins and hooks the leg!
ONE
TWO
TH-
Wilden: Jacobson manages to get a shoulder up! This kid is resilient! Baxter driving the boots some more into Jacobson! Baxter to the second rope as he waits for Jacobson to get up to his feet! Baxter with a double axe-handle…is ducked by Jacobson! Tornado forearm from Jacobson! Hook DDT hits the mark! Jacobson pins!
ONE
TWO
T-
Wilden: Baxter kicks out! Jacobson with a knee drop to Baxter’s body to keep him down!
Hart: Yeah, kick a man while he’s down. I told you, this guy is not FCUK material.
Wilden: Jacobson lifting Baxter up to his feet. Jacobson delivers a couple shots to Baxter’s face! He whips Baxter into the corner. Jacobson with a flying knee into Baxter’s chest! Back elbow into Baxter’s face! Running inverted bulldog from Jacobson dropping Baxter right in the middle of the ring! Jacobson covers once again…
ONE
TWO
THR-
Wilden: He cannot keep Baxter down! Jacobson quickly bringing Baxter up. Jacobson looks to be wrapping up Baxter’s arm in a hammerlock. Jacobson goes for the Iron City DDT! BUT Baxter hooks his leg and blocks! Baxter counters with a jawbreaker! Jacobson’s looking dizzied up! Baxter hooks Jacobson’s head in a cravate! AGGRO DROP!
Hart: That’s it! Ring the bell! See ya, Jacobson!
ONE
TWO
THRE-
Widen: NO! Jacobson is still in this! Sloppy work of Baxter not hooking the leg!
Hart: Sloppy work of Jacobson not staying down when he should’ve! Now he’s gonna get it!
Wilden: Baxter mounts Jacobson and hits him with rights and lefts! C’mon ref! This isn’t MMA! That’s illegal!
Hart: Let Baxter have his fun!
Wilden: Baxter does not look happy as Hector Garcia pulls him off. Baxter picking up Jacobson by the hair! Again, c’mon, Garcia! Baxter tosses Jacobson into the corner! He runs and lands a flying forearm! Baxter attacking Jacobson now with a European Uppercut! Knife-edged chop! Forearm! Another chop!
Hart: Looks like a Violence Party!
Widen: Another forearm…wait, Jacobson blocks it! Jacobson with a forearm shot! A chop of his own! Tornado forearm! Jacobson lunges with a lariat! Baxter ducks! Baxter with a kick to Jacobson’s midsection! Baxter looks to be going for a piledriver. Jacobson blocks! Jacobson’s trying to lift Baxter up and over! Now Jacobson with an impressive STO!
[Jacobson signals to the crowd that he is ready to finish this!]
Hart: He better not be doing what I think he is going to do!
Wilden: I think it is... Jacobson is looking to add gold to his resume with the Raymond Jacobson Assasination!
[Suddenly, a bulky figure in a dress jumps over the barricade!]
Wilden: Wait a minute... who is this?
Hart: It's a lady!
[This supposed "female" jumps up on the apron and starts calling Jacobson while waving his/her scarf! Raymond just looks confused!]
Wilden: That is a MAN!
Hart: Why are you making these claims we don't even know who this is.
Wilden: A better question is why is a drag queen trying to distract Raymond!?
[Jacobson starts yelling at him/her. He turns back around just deciding to ignore this "queen." He turns around just in time to get hit with the Bastadizer from Jacob Baxter!]
Wilden: NO! Raymond had this won... if it wasn't for that ...that...
Hart: Gender-challenged person?
Wilden: Yeah, and no one has come to take her from the ringside. Baxter now with the cover!
One
Two
Three
[Ding Ding Ding]
Wilden: Dammit! Who is this girl guy?
Hart: A gift from God!
Dixon: And here is your winner and still cwo FCUK Champion: Jacob "Bastard" Baxter!
[Baxter grabs his title and quickly exits the ring as the "queen" gets back up on the apron screaming at a recovering Jacobson.]
Wilden: This whole thing wreaks of...
Hart: The Kaiser! That devious...
[As Jacobson has his attention focused on the queen, Chandler Dalmon slides underneath the ring to chorus of boos. Chandler smiles and applauds Jacobson. Jacobson turns around with great contempt!]
Wilden: It doesn't come as much of a surprise that Chandler and WGL was behind this "distraction."
Hart: You don't know that!
[The drag queen hops into the ring as Chandler continues to applaud her. He looks at Jacobson and says "Meet Ameryca! She is my new valet! Effective right?" Jacobson doesn't answer but charges and starts laying in blows to the cranium of Chandler.]
Wilden: And Jacobson is coming out swinging against his rival!
Hart: Why? What did he do?
Wilden: His "friend" cost him the FCUK title!
["Ameryca" tries pulling Jacobson off Chandler but he just pushes he/her to the mat and continues to beat down on Chandler! Suddenly, Dice comes running down the walk way and attacks Jacobson from behind! Soon, the two are double teaming him!]
Wilden: You can't expect the WGL to run alone for too long. We already seen this earlier after the Hawk match!
Hart: Safety in numbers!
Wilden: Wait!... Here comes Barret Hawk! Barret Hawk is making the save.
[Hawk pulls Dice aside and immediately hits him with a hardclothesline! He then pulls Chandler and irish whips him to the turnbuckle, but Dice back up and starts hammering the back of Hawk.]
Wilden: Dice battling again, but Jacobson back up and takes it to Dice as Hawk lays it down on Chandler in the corner! Jacobson and Hawk taking control!
Hart: Not for long... look who it is!
Wilden: Great!
[Xyce Pac comes running down with a fancy dressed TJ Walker at his side]
Hart: It is mighty ICE to see Johnny Lugs making the save!
[Lugs slides in and hits Jacobson with a spinning neckbreaker freeing Dice to help Chandler with Hawk. Together they lift him up and slam his ribs onto the rope. The three then beat down on Jacobson together!]
Wilden: And with TJ Walker and "Ameryca" watching from the sidelines, Dice, Chandler and Xyce Pac beat down on a defensefless Jacobson.
Hart: This is what he gets for not admitting that Chandler made his career.
Wilden: He won't have time to think because here comes Mike Logan once again looking for a little retribution! The fans erupt as Logan comes in with a palm strike to Dice, then once to Xyce Pac and then a european uppercut to Chandler! He is on fire which gives Hawk and Jacobson a little time to recover!
Hart: This guy started off so well but he is proving that he is just as soft as Barret Hawk.
[Hawk stands side by side with with Logan and the two stare at eachother as a battered Jacobson gets on his feet to join them in the middle of the ring as the WGL regroup! The three are surrounded by Chandler, Dice, and Xyce pac. But then the Maple Leaf Rag begins to play as Thaddeus stomps down with fake Sean Pason in tow wearing his black face and WGL shirt.]
Wilden: Great, once the odds look even, Thaddeus has to come in with CB Fowler!
Hart: That is Sean Pason!
[Thaddeus and fake Pason slide in as the WGL begins to attack the three men. Logan hits an arm drag on Xyce pac while Jacobson throws Dice down with a spinning heel kick and Hawk shuts Chandler down with a double arm DDT! But Thaddeus catches Jacobson off guard and puts him in a headlock, while fake Pason takes very weak punches on Mike Logan. Hawk tries to bail him out but Dice and Chandler are back up and overwhelm Hawk!]
Wilden: And the WGL beat down continues as Jacobson and friends seem helpless!
Hart: Serves them right for getting in WGL's business!
Wilden: WGL interupted a match last week and have been a constant thorn in Jacobson's side!
[Suddenly, the lights begin to dim as the intro to “Till I Collapse” begins playing in the background. Then suddenly lights begin to flicker off and on as Sean Pason slowly walks out of the entrance ramp.]
Wilden: He's here, the REAL SEAN PASON IS HERE!
Hart: How do you know that is the real Sean Pason?
Wilden: Because his skin is ACTUALLY black and not painted on!
[Sean Pason runs down the rampway and the minute he slides into the ring, he takes out "fake" Sean Pason with brutal spine buster! Thaddeus turns around and says "Thank god your here. Fetch me my fighting stick!" to Pason. Pason automatically shuts down Thaddeus with a massive head butt! This allows the other three room to fight back! Jacobson and Dice trade blows while Chandler and Logan beat on eachother and Hawk Irish with Xyce Pac out of the ring!]
Wilden: And now it is just insanity now. What started off as an awkward drag queen run in has turned into an all out WAR!
Hart: This all wouldn't be happening if people would just realize how amazing the WGL really is!
Wilden: People realize their talent, not their attitude! And Jacobson hits Dice with the RJA and toses him out of the ring. Barret and Jacobson go to help Logan and Pason finish off Thaddeus and Chandler! Hawk and Logan Irish whip Chandler over the ropes as Jacobson and Pason take turns slamming Thaddeus's head into the turnbuckle!
Hart: That is so disrespectful to an athlete of Thaddeus's caliber!
Wilden: Pason picks up Thaddeus and tosses him over the top rope as Mike Logan waves goodbye with an uncertain Barret Hawk standing next to him!
Hart: Again I say, Mike lost his edge rather quickly!
Wilden: But Sean Pason cleaned house with these men! Look how they stand united!
[Jacobson grabs the microphone as all of the WGL retreat up the walkway!]
Jacobson: Hold on, hold on! It seems that we have four wrestlers here, and you have four wrestlers there! I say the eight of us settle this at Slam in the Sand!
[WGL as a whole huddle up discussing the challenge. Thaddeus grabs a mic and answers.]
Walker: Well chum, while I agree that the WGL will meet the devious colored gent, the impure canuck and the inbred mountain folken, there has never been a total of eight men in that ring before. I don't think the ring can handle the weight of all of us in there, so I'm going to need timet to figure out a solution. But I agree to your challenge chief! I'm on the trolley!
[Thaddeus kindly hands the mic back to an official and the WGL begins walking off as Jacobson, Pason, Hawk and Logan look on.]
Wilden: We’ve got to take our final commercial break of the evening. When we come back, it’s our explosive 12 on 2 main event!
Wilden: Never before in this history of the cWo have we had a 13 on 2 tag match. This is going to be some match.
Hart: And this is not going to be easy for Mr. Rich and his team.
Wilden: Are you kidding me? This match is so unfair, it’s ridiculous. This match was set up for Serious and Cantrell to not only fail, but to severely injure themselves.
Dixon: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and is a….
[Pink Floyd's "Money" hits the arena as Mr Rich makes his way out towards the ring. From behind steps out 12 of the Nick Dangerous Wrestling Academy Students, all wearing shirts, each with a number from 1-12. Mr Rich stops in the aisle, waving his money around as a dollar sign lights up. He continues to the ring, flashing his money in the fans face and then taking it away. He slowly enters the ring and stands in the center as canons from all four ring posts shoot out fake money with Mr Rich's face on it. The students then enter the ring and bow down to Mr. Rich.]
Dixon: Now entering the ring, hailing from New York, New York. He weighs in at two hundred and fifty four pounds, Mr. Rich! And his twelve students!
Hart: And thirteen students if the thirteenth shows up.
Wilden: Well it looks like Rich has numbered them based on skill level, so if it's any indication number thirteen can't be too impressive.
Hart: Size doesn't matter Wilden, these men were all trained by Mr. Rich and Nick Dangerous personally! This is a win-win situation for Mr. Rich!
[The crowd explodes as the lights dim and red fog fills the entrance way with red lights shining through it. The fans erupts as "The Sound of Madness" by Shinedown hits and Josh Cantrell
steps out on the ramp and walks through the smoke.]
Dixon: And their opponents, first, he weighs two hundred and forty eight pounds, hailing from Ripley, Ohio. "The Product of Hate" Jooooooosh Caaaaaantreeeeell.
Wilden: I don't care who you are, you can't train someone in two weeks to wrestle at the level that guys like Johnny Serious and Josh Cantrell wrestle, hell it even took J.J. Carter over a year to hit his stride in the cWo.
[Cantrell slowly walks halfway to the ring acknowledgingthe cheers of the fans along the way before stopping. The lights go our as the Voice of Johnny Serious comes over the sound system and says "Are You SERIOUS." An orange light turns on in the arena as the song "Elevation" by U2 plays. Johnny Serious makes his way out.
Hart: Well Tony Awesome offered him help, so no one can be blamed for what happens here to Johnny Serious and Josh Cantrell.
Wilden: It's not only Josh and Johnny I'm concerned about, what about these kids, these guys are obviously out for their fifteen minutes of fame, and whatever dreams they had to become wrestlers could die on this night.
[He stops next to Cantrell as the two shake hands, and they both run towards the ring and slide in.]
Wilden: Folks, this match is going to get started right away as Cantrell and Serious have entered the ring ready to fight. And Mr. Rich, ever the coward, is the first one to leave the ring.
Hart: It’s called being smart!
DING DING DING
Wilden: Senior referee Johnny Williams signed for this match, which is the best man you could ask for to officiate a potential fourteen on two match.
Hart: The question is who's gonna start? Which of these guys has the balls?
Wilden: Well it's certainly not Mr. Rich.
[The students argue amongst themselves who wants to start. Number one volunteers to take the lead.]
Hart: I can't wait to see this guy, he must be the top student!
Wilden: Apparently so. It's Serious against, well...I guess all we can call him is Number One.
[Number One looks across the ring to Johnny Serious, when Number One freaks out and tags in Number 8.]
Wilden: Looks like even the top student has cold feet.
Hart: Cold feet? Wha...ever hear of saving the best for last?
[Number 8 then looks across to Serious as Serious continues to patiently await the first person with enough confidence to give him a shot.]
Wilden: Well what's gonna happen here.
[Number 8 then loses it and tags in Number 10.]
Hart: Wow they're really following the "best for last" mentality!
Wilden: The only mentality here are students pushed up too far too soon, these kids aren't ready.
Hart: Kids? Who are you to talk down to these guys?
Wilden: They're far too naive to be in a match like this, even if there are twelve of them. Hell, I'm more physically fit than at least Eight to Twelve!
[Number Ten walks up to Serious.]
Hart: Looks like we have a winner here!
[Both men go for a tie up.]
Wilden: And they lock horns.
Hart: See? He's locking up like a pro!
[Serious rather easily puts Number Ten in a headlock.]
Wilden: This guy's barely showing a struggle.
[Serious lowers himself to the mat, and easily rolls Number Ten over for the pin.]
Wilden: Here's a pin!
ONE
TWO
THREE
Hart: WHAT!
DING DING DING
["Elevation" hits the PA system.]
Hart: WHAT! WHAT! WHAT!
Wilden: Some training, huh Robbie?
Hart: Was that guy even paying attention the last two weeks? Who is this joker?
Dixon: Ladies and gentlemen the winners of this match, Johnny Serious and Josh Caaaaaantreeeell!
[Cameras catch John Pilchard who comes out of the entrance way armed with a mic in hand.]
Hart: It's Pilchard!
Pilchard: Hold on! Stop everything!
[Johnny Serious looks irate at the sight of Pilchard as Pilchard angrily walks down the aisle.]
Pilchard: Rowland! What the hell did Nick teach you?
[Pilchard walks up the steps and gets in the ring, immediately getting in Rowland's face, who can't look Pilchard in the eyes as the fans boo Pilchard.]
Pilchard: You had two weeks to be better than this! Nick Dangerous and this man right here-
[Pilchard gestures to an angry Mr. Rich.]
Pilchard: Selflessly tried teaching you anything and everything they know, and all they asked in return was for you to be a sponge! To absorb it, what have you learned? What have you learned! Huh?
[Pilchard pushes Rowland over, sending him down on his backside.]
Pilchard: How could you be so stupid! All of you!
[Pilchard then looks at the other students.]
Pilchard: All of you! Nick taught you to be fearless! Mr. Rich taught you to be smart! You're all idiots never, ever make it in this business! YOU!
[Pilchard slaps Number Eight.]
Pilchard: WILL!
[Pilchard slaps Number Nine.]
Pilchard: NEVER!
[Pilchard is then stopped as Johnny Serious grabs his wrist, as the crowd roars.]
Wilden: Someone had to stop this!
[Suddenly students One, Two, Three, Four, and Seven step in and start restraining Johnny Serious as John Pilchard tails it.]
Wilden: Pilchard just berated these guys, and they're protecting him?
Hart: Pilchard didn't berate them, he motivated them!
Pilchard: You guys have one last chance! Johnny! Josh! One thing Tony Awesome forgot to tell you, was that this match is an elimination match!
Wilden: What!
[The fans boo loudly as Pilchard continues.]
Pilchard: Rowland, you're out, you'll be lucky to perform in front of a crowd, one percent the size as this, the rest of you, don't screw up!
Wilden: This is silly.
[The five students who restrained Serious then start kicking and punching away at Johnny Serious.]
Hart: See? How generous of Pilchard to give these kids one last chance!
Wilden: Yeah, what a saint. Johnny Williams trying to restore order here, because five men in the ring isn't legal, obviously.
[Johnny Williams backs them out as Number Four is left in the ring with Serious. Cameras quickly show John Pilchard following after Rowland, pushing him in the back, hurrying him up the ramp. Meanwhile Number Four mounts Johnny Serious and hammers him with right close fisted punches prompting the referee to count to five.]
Wilden: Closed fisted punches, who taught him that? Nick Dangerous or Mr. Rich?
Hart: Why don't you just call the action, Lance?
[Number Four then goes for a pin.]
ONE
TWO
Wilden: Kickout!
Hart: What a veteran move! Always go for a pin, never know when a man's reached his limits!
[Number Four goes to pin Mr. Rich, but Mr. Rich denies it, saying "no, no you gotta bring Serious to our corner!" Number Four then goes to Serious and brings him over, and requests a tag from Rich, but Rich tells Number Seven to tag in.]
Hart: What a ring general Rich is!
Wilden: Number Seven in now, applying a front face lock, and his peers look to be amazed.
Hart: That front face lock is two weeks well spent right there!
Wilden: Johnny Williams making sure the hold is legit, with the new blood in the ring you can't be sure.
Hart: They're well trained athletes Lance, Number Ten was a one off.
[Johnny Serious then gets out of the front face lock with a release northern lights suplex.]
Wilden: Fantastic suplex from Johnny Serious, well executed, trained, professional suplex.
Hart: You gotta stop selling these guys short!
Wilden: Serious now going for a tag!
[Before he can walk out to Cantrell, Mr. Rich enters the ring and demands his students to follow, as Six and Three grab him by the arms, while Mr. Rich drives knees into his gut, while Johnny Williams restrains Josh Cantrell from entering the ring, unbeknownst to the chaos behind him.]
Wilden: Turn around Williams!
[Mr. Rich then grabs Johnny Serious and delivers a snap suplex.]
Hart: Nice moves!
[Johnny Williams turns around as Rich and the students run out as fast as they can.]
Wilden: Some of these students are starting to get real comfortable with Rich's way of getting things done.
[Seven goes for the pin.]
ONE
TWO
Wilden: Another kickout. Number Seven now following up with a chinlock.
Hart: Man, what a great job this kid is doing!
Wilden: It's just a convenient situation thrust upon him right now.
[Serious quickly gets up to his feet and sits down, hitting a chinbreaker on Number Seven.]
Wilden: Chinbreaker! Come on Serious! Make that tag!
[Cantrell shouts at Serious to wake up, as Serious crawls over, getting restless, One and Two run into the ring, but before they can stop Serious, he tags in Cantrell.]
Wilden: And Cantrell's legal! And he just downed One and Two with a right hand each!
[Cantrell charges the other students and Rich on the apron, who all drop off the apron.]
Wilden: Cantrell's hot!
[A recovered Number One charges Cantrell, who throws him over the top rope on the students outside of the ring, knocking them all out.]
Hart: Oh no!
Wilden: Come on Josh, take care of the legal man!
[As Seven recovers from the chinbreaker, Josh sets him up for the 5150.]
Wilden: Is it? Will he? Yes! Five-One-Five-Oh! He hits it! And the pin!
ONE
TWO
THREE
Wilden: Three! He did it! Seven is eliminated! Eleven to go.
Hart: ELEVEN, Lance! Twelve if the thirteenth student ever shows up!
[Rich's team huddles in, and then Mr. Rich push’s Number Twelve in the ring. Number Twelve looking all scrawny, beging to beg Cantrell for forgiveness.]
Wilden: Mr. Rich hasn't forgotten about the locker room pep rally and the feelings of Number Twelve!
Hart: You're mistaking tough love for out and out bullying, Lance!
Wilden: It is obvious Number Twelve doesn’t want to be in there. He questioned Mr. Rich earlier, and now, begging for mercy and Cantrell has yet to lay a finger.
Hart: He looks like he wants to though.
Wilden: It does look like he's getting the itch.
[Cantrell sets Twelve up for a Driven by Hate, as Twelve looks to be struggling for his life.]
Wilden: He's gonna drive him straight to hell!
[Johnny Serious rushes into the ring, almost pleading himself for Cantrell to let him go.]
Hart: What's Serious doing?
Wilden: It looks like he's feeling sympathy for the kid!
[Cantrell argues back with Serious, feeling less compassion for him, as Johnny Williams argues with Serious to get back to his corner, but Serious pulls Number Twelve off of Cantrell's shoulders, Twelve immediately runs out of the ring and to the backstage area, to a slight sound of boos from the crowd.]
Wilden: Wow, look at him go.
[As the referee counts to ten, Pilchard once again comes out to the stage area.]
Pilchard: I just came from talking to Tony Awesome, and because you two keep stalling I got the decision approved to make another slight change to this match so the fans watching at home will actually see the end of it...In the spirit of this being a handicap match there will be two members of Mr. Rich's team in the ring at all times!
Wilden: You can't be serious!
Hart: I wouldn't want to be Serious right about now!
[Cantrell rolls his eyes as Number Two and Six enter the ring. Six looking a little more timid than Two as Cantrell clotheslines them both to the mat.]
Wilden: I don't know if it's gonna make a difference, Cantrell is not showing any signs of compassion for these students.
[Cantrell knocks Six down again with a right hand, and whips Number Two into the turnbuckle.]
Wilden: Whips Two into the corner...And sends Six into the same corner!
[Cantrell backs up a bit so he can charge the two with a running body avalanche.]
Wilden: Squashed! Both men just got squashed in the corner, and both men collapse to the mat, Cantrell with a pin on both of them!
ONE
TWO
Wilden: Both kickout!
Hart: Hang in there boys! This is a war of attrition!
[Cantrell stalks both men as they slowly recover. As Number Six makes it up, Cantrell hits his trademark Exploder Suplex.]
Wilden: The exploder suplex on Number Six, or the Kindred, as he calls it! Will that be enough?
Hart: We won't know, because he's not gonna pin him!
[As Number Two recovers, Cantrell sets him up this time for Driven by Hate.]
Wilden: Driven by Hate, Cantrell's gonna kill two birds with one stone here!
[Number One, Three and Four enter the ring, and one by one Cantrell spins, knocking the three of them down with the heel of Two's foot.]
Wilden: Cantrell's swinging for the fences...and...YES! Driven by Hate! He's down! Here's the pin!
[Cantrell covers both Two and Six.]
ONE
TWO
THREE
Wilden: Cantrell's ruthless approach to kicking the crap out of these students is paying off! Five down, eight to go!
Hart: There's still one more coming, Rich said so himself!
Wilden: How much can we expect for someone who doesn't even show up for the match on time?
[Controversy erupts on the ring apron, as Cantrell confidently awaits the next two men, but the students and Rich argue amongst themselves on who the next competitors will be, suddenly, Number Five, Seven, Nine, and Eleven step off the apron, as Mr. Rich shouts "where the hell are you going?" As Number Five responds "this is bull! We're not ready for this Rich!"]
Hart: What the hell is this? Amateur hour? Who do they think they are to just walk away?
Wilden: They see things for how they really are, this match is a farce, a disgrace to what I love about this business. At any rate Mr. Rich is down to four members of his team yet still has the advantage, we're down to Rich, One, Three, Four, and Eight.
[Mr. Rich is heard saying "I don’t want to see you low class jacka$$e$ again. EACH AND EVERYONE of you can go to hell!!!!!!" As they leave, a man walks down the aisle with a shirt that has the number Thirteen on it.
Hart: Mr. Rich doesn’t need those losers anyways! Look at Number Thirteen, this young up and comer looks promising.
Wilden: That's because that's Jacob Baxter! He's no student!
[Baxter rolls his eyes as he takes his shirt off and charges the ring. Cantrell stands in the ring begging for him to come down.]
Hart: We know who's gonna win this now!
Wilden: Just when I think Mr. Rich is out of plans, here comes another, can't ever trust him to do this by the books!
[The rest of the students enter the ring in sync with Baxter, as Baxter fakes Cantrell out and gets on the apron, leaving Number One, Three, Four and Eight to lay waste to Cantrell with a wall of kicks.]
Wilden: So Baxter's gonna go the Rich route and just rest on the sidelines?
Hart: They're smarter than to just jump in the frey out of the box like that.
Wilden: Yeah, they're glorified bench warmers.
Hart: Watch it Lance...
[Johnny Williams forces Eight and Four out of the ring as One and Three stomp away at Cantrell in the corner. When Baxter then asks for a tag, which Number Four complies.]
Hart: Now you'll see how a pro does it!
[Baxter gets in the ring, shoving Number Eight aside, as he pushes Cantrell down to his backside, and proceeds to scrape his boot against Cantrell's face.]
Hart: Oooohh, you can feel that! Can you feel that?
Wilden: I don't envy Cantrell or Serious at all at this point of the match, if you wanna call it a match, more of a mismatch.
[Mr. Rich clamours for a tag from Number Eight, Eight complies and brings Rich into the match.]
Wilden: Well now we get to see Mr. Rich. Baxter stomping away at Cantrell-and look at Rich, choking him, first thing, we haven't seen a lot of wrestling in this match! Punching, kicking, scraping, choking, this is a mugging!
[Both Baxter and Rich pick up Cantrell, as Mr. Rich tags Number Two back in.]
Wilden: Baxter and now tagged in Number Four with a whip into the ropes.
[Baxter and Four go for a double back body drop, but Cantrell hits his trademark shining wizard on Number Four.]
Wilden: Last Breath! Last Breath! Number Two is down!
Hart: No!
Wilden: And the fans are going crazy! Serious is in the ring, the remainder of Rich's team coming in, it's a rumble!
[Serious gets charged by Number One, but Serious throws him over the top rope.]
Wilden: One is out of there! And there goes Three!
[Cantrell covers Number Four.]
Wilden: Cantrell with the cover!
ONE
TWO
[Serios leaps with a cross body on Rich and Baxter.]
THREE
Wilden: Four is out! Serious with a cover on Rich and Baxter!
ONE
Wilden: Quick kickout, Johnny Williams getting a little lost in the shuffle. It looks like he's just letting them let loose! It's Rich and Baxter head to head with Cantrell and Serious!
[Rich and Baxter get the upper hand as they pit Serious and Cantrell into opposing corners, stomping away at their midsections.]
Wilden: Serious and Cantrell are starting to wear out, you can tell.
Hart: They were in over their head at the start.
Wilden: Well taking on fourteen men, no matter what, is no easy feat.
[Baxter and Rich go for an irish whip, but both Serious and Cantrell reverse, sending Baxter and Rich into each other.]
Wilden: Reverse of an irish whip! And Baxter and Rich collide!
[Both men then schoolboy pin on Baxter and Rich.]
Wilden: Dual pins!
ONE
TWO
Wilden: Almost out of nowhere! But no dice!
[Baxter and Rich recover, as Baxter hits a knee lift into Cantrell's gut, while Serious drop toe holds Mr. Rich out of the ring between the second and top rope, meanwhile Baxter sets Cantrell up for a vertical suplex.]
Wilden: Baxter with a vertical suplex, wait no! Serious pulls Cantrell down to his feet, and...and...double suplex! Double suplex on Jacob Baxter!
Hart: When did this match turn into an unorganized bedlam? It's either Cantrell or Serious in the ring! Not both!
Wilden: I think Johnny Williams is starting to get a little fed up himself. Cantrell with a pin!
ONE
Wilden: Count quickly broken by Numbers One and Three!
Hart: C'mon guys! Pull it together here!
Wilden: Serious knocks One out with a right hand, and Three! One coming back for seconds! And a scoop slam to Number Three!
[One then tries to subdue Serious with a front face lock, but Serious spins out and hits his finisher.]
Wilden: Got Serious'd! Got Serious'd! This one's in the bag!
ONE
TWO
[Cantrell runs towards Number Three before he can break the count and hits his shining wizard again.]
THREE
Wilden: One is out, and it looks like we're about to see another! Cantrell pinning Three!
ONE
TWO
THREE
Wilden: It's Baxter and Mr. Rich now!
[Rich and Baxter stand side by side, as Cantrell and Serious stand united in the ring as well. When Pilchard comes out again.]
Pilchard: You know what? Johnny Williams! You wanna play god with the rulebook now all of a sudden? This is taking too long, Tony Awesome back there agrees too! Get out of here Williams! I'm the new referee now!
Wilden: What!
[John Pilchard takes off his media pass as he walks down the aisle.]
Pilchard: I'm throwing away my media pass! This is Tony Awesome approved, don't believe me? Just go and ask the man! I'm taking the reigns now!
Wilden: This is an injustice!
[Pilchard begins walking down as behind him, comes students Two, Five, Six, and Eight, as Baxter and Mr. Rich spread to opposite sides of the ring.]
Hart: Now we're getting somewhere!
Wilden: I thought Pilchard gave these guys their last chance!
Hart: Well Christmas comes early with a saint like Pilchard!
[Pilchard gets just outside the ring as he turns a blind eye looking up the ramp, while the students, Rich and Baxter enter the ring and start throwing haymakers, Serious and Cantrell fight all they can but the numbers are too overwhelming.]
Hart: Get 'em! Make 'em pay!
Wilden: Make them pay for what? Pilchard's plan fell flat in his face and now he's making up for it with gang violence! Mr. Rich and his "students" are laying waste to Cantrell and Serious, and Baxter now leaning against the turnbuckle enjoying the show. Well this is just great.
[Mr. Rich then digs in his tights, and raises brass knuckles high in the air.]
Wilden: After the beating just laid down on Cantrell and Serious you could probably get the win now, why do we need to see this?
[The students pick up Josh Cantrell as Rich puts on his brass knuckles with a huge smile on his face.]
Wilden: Don't do it Rich, enough is enough!
[Rich takes a few steps back, as he charges, and knocks Cantrell in the mouth, knocking him out.]
Wilden: God!
Hart: I've been waiting a long time to see Cantrell get his lights knocked out!
[Rich then points to Serious with a big smile on his face.]
Wilden: Pilchard thinks he's funny not looking at all this.
Hart: Don't worry about Pilchard, worry about, for decades Mr. Rich has gone overlooked, and tonight. TONIGHT. Mr. Rich makes his mark in cWo, two "top superstars" getting KOed by Mr. Rich, and only Mr. Rich.
Wilden: And only Mr. Rich? What are you watching-OHH stop it! Serious just got a taste of the brass knuckles!
[Mr. Rich gets down on his knees, as he firmly presses his knuckles on Cantrell and Serious' chests as John Pilchard rushes in and makes the count.]
ONE
TWO
THREE
["Money" hits the PA system, as John Pilchard raises Mr. Rich's arm in victory, as his fellow students applaud him.]
Dixon: The winner of this match...Team Rich!
Wilden: Well there's the announcement, what an abomination to wrestling this match has been.
Hart: You always gotta look at the bad side of things, the positive is that Mr. Rich has come out on top,
Wilden: With help of twelve strangers and Jacob Baxter!
Hart: Just appreciate it!
Wilden: There's nothing to appreciate, I can only hope these guys get what they deserve next week, we're one show away from Slam in the Sand, I don't know if things can get any more heated than this, but there's only one way to find out, we'll see you next week folks...
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Roll the Dice '09
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