Thursday, August 14, 2008
[Devon Dice stands in the hallway. He whistles as he paints W-G-L on the wall in thick black paint. Suddenly, his bucket it pulled out of the frame. Dice goes to re-apply the paint on his brush and notices the bucket is missing!]
Dice: What in tarnations?!
[Dice notices a trail of black paint leading down the hall. He drops his brush and follows the trail, turning around several corners until he reaches what looks to be a janitor's closet. He puts his ear to the door, where he can hear a voice singing the first lyrics to "paint it black" by the Rolling Stones. Dice puffs out his chest, then quickly pulls the door opens. Suddenly, he's face to face with Heretic, clutching the cWo world title and the bucket of paint. Dice quickly slams the door and backs away, whistling his jaunty tune again.]
The cWo logo flashes and spins past the screen, as it spins out of control and hits the camera, we see a crack in the camera as clips of cWo wrestlers spew out of the crack in the screen doing what they do best. Sevendust's "Driven" begins to play as we see clips of the following weeks programs. First a clip of JJ Carter and Brother Shabazz raising their arms in victory at SITS! This is followed by a shot of the debut match of Barret Hawk, then Mike Logan confronting him and finally Mike Logan hitting Hawk over the head with a sock full of nickels! A quick flash of Captain Magnificent saving a cat from a tree proceeds Sean Pason smashing through monumental structure door. This is quickly followed by several shots of Raymond Jacobson hitting the RJA throughout his time in the fed, then finally, him hitting it in the monumental structure! Raymond Jacobson appears before a blank screen as text appears.
I AM DRIVEN
The picture switches and Sean Pason appears in front of the blank screen
I AM cWo
Meghan Conklin's first matches in cWo are shown, followed by her getting a clean pinfall on Jezebel! Next Jezebel shoving the spike in the head of Yuni Yamagata. Then Mad Maddie double crossing spearing Brother Shabazz, followed Maddie betraying Estrogen Uprisng by spearing Jen Diamond! Then Evette walks down the rampway. Followed by Phantasy hitting a Phantastic Voyage on Evette. This is followed by Chastity McGavin's entrance with Mary-Joe following her then shots of her various squash matches this is cut with footage of Jen Diamond's history with company and her squash matches over the last few weeks. Their compilation ends with Chastity and Diamond fighting with Mary-Joe in the middle at SITS! Jen and Chastity appear before the blank screen with Mary-Joe grinning between them.
I AM DRIVEN
The figures in front of the blank screen switches to Meghan Conklin and Phantasy
I AM cWo
Clips of Devon Dice's first matches in the company are shown followed by his world title win and ending with him walking to the ring with an ivory tooth pick in his mouth after his gentlemen's make over. Then clips of Chandler Dalmon's very first appearance is shown with him offering an opponent a briefcase of money, followed by his battle royal win and then him performing a spear on Raymond Jacobson. Clips of Thaddeus Walker's storied history is shown with his win in the first ever triple threat match, his battles with Devon Dice, him fighting Stephanie Bliss in a wooden cage, him holding a bottle honor and finally him standing united with Devon Dice and Chandler Edsel Dalmon in the middle of the ring as the World Gentlemen League. Next is Xyce Pac busting through a block of ice. Finally Chandler Edsel Dalmon with getting a pin over Raymond Jacobson in the middle of the monumental structure. And then the four members of WGL standing in the middle of the ring. Thaddeus Walker and Xyce Pac appears before the blank screen.
I AM DRIVEN
The screen switches to Dice and Dalmon standing next to eachother.
I AM cWo
This is followed by several clips of Chris Michaels storied career! His title reigns and battles with Roman are shown. Even moments from his presidency campaign are shown. Then Michaels declaring to Pilchard and Fiasco that he will come back to cWo on his own terms and then his run in on the Driven before SITS! After that shots of Pilchard ridding the fed of Andrew Fiasco! Then a clip of Mr. Rich attacking Cantrell and Serious with Nick Dangerous's students! Andrew Phillips is shown holding the TV title,then the U.S title and then finally the World title. After that him getting pinned by Heretic and the look of shock on his face that he actually lost. Then a clip of Nick Dangerous cWo tag title win, then his World title win, then his attack on Johnny Serious at Cyberslam. After that, his entrance at SITS is shown! Nick Dangerous appears in front of the blank screen.
I AM DRIVEN
The image changes to Chris Michaels holding a pen in his hand!
I AM cWo
Next Chazz Mendel entering the ring being accompanied by Reg is shown, followed by him being accompanied to the ring by The Cop and The GOK. Footage of the matches between himself and Nick Dangerous and Johnny Serious is shown, as well as his cage match against Jack Union and finally him making Andrew Phillips tap at Cyberslam. This is followed up Johnny Serious beating Thaddeus Walker for the U.S title, defending it against Mr. Rich and then several shots of his epic match with Nick Dangerous! This switches to Jacob Baxter's first match in cWo, his pinfall victory over Cantrell, him winning the U.S title and re-christening it the FCUK title! This is followed by Cantrell pinning him in the cage match! Cantrell's history in cWo is shown! From his first appearance to his historic battle with Nick Dangerous, then his several wins in the Path of Kings Tournament and then finally him holding the U.S title in the air. Cantrell appears before the blank screen.
I AM DRIVEN
His image changes to that of Chazz Mendel.
I AM cWo
Heretic enters the ring with Jen Diamond and Notorious Jon, this then cuts to Heretic crippling Notorious Jon and then him holding down Jen Diamond in the middle of the ring! Then shots of him beating down Muru in an I Quit match at Glory! After that clips of him walking with Andrew Phillips children and then him confronting Phillips on the stage. Then Heretic pinning Phillips in the middle of the ring at SITS, then him holding the title! Heretic appears before the blank screen with the title over his shoulder!
I AM DRIVEN
The scene then switches to Heretic running into a figure in the parking lot after SITS. He looks at Christian Roman. Heretic appears in front of the blank screen again with the title!
I AM cWo
[Yellow fireworks explode in the New Orleans Arena as the fans eagerly anticipate the 32nd installment of cWo Driven. Cameras scan from past the front row crowd, to surveying to fans further up observing signs like "Was it Slam in the Sand or Bloodymania II?" "Does Mary Joe kiss on the first date?" And "Johnny Serious: Next World Champion"
Wilden: Coming off one of the wildest Pay Per Views I can recall in cWo history, we're live in New Orleans folks and you can feel the excitement! What a wild night it was last Sunday?
Hart: Wild night? Not even close to how wild it will be when yours truly, Robbie Hart goes one on one with Mary-Joe Wolf...on a date!
Wilden: Yessir, Josh Cantrell won the U.S. Championship, Heretic won the World Championship, and Robbie Hart...scored a date...with Mary-Joe.
Hart: Is that sarcasm, Lance?
Wilden: Me? No way Robbie.
Hart: Ahh you don't understand my love.
Wilden: Well what I do understand is that we have a great show for you tonight folks. We got Tony Awesome making what's supposed to be a huge announcement regarding the women's division that we're about to witness come to fruition, a cWo first. We're all very excited.
Hart: And let me congratulate Mary-Joe before her client Chastity McGavin is rightfully crowned Women's Champion!
Wilden: We also have Barrett Hawk going up against Mr. Rich. It was supposed to be Dynamite against Jon Law...but..well we'll get to that in a second. But why don't you tell us what's on the menu for tonight Mr. Hart?
Hart: Well brace yourselves folks..
[We see a stringing together of clips of Nick Dangerous vs. Johnny Serious on the screen, showing Nick driving Serious backwards into the steel steps, getting strangled over the ropes by Johnny Serious and his belt, and him body slamming Serious over the steel steeps.]
Hart: We got Nick Dangerous, or my apologies, "The" Nick Dangerous going up against-
[As Hart speaks we see clips of Raymond Jacobson at the WWII match hitting Dice with the R.J.A., a springboard DDT on Thaddeus Walker, and the temporary tandem of Logan and Jacobson hitting a superplex on Thaddeus Walker.]
Hart: Raymond Jacobson, in Jacobson's last match in cWo!
Wilden: That's a bold prediction Robbie.
Hart: Nick Dangerous went through hell last Sunday.
Wilden: The critics have been raving over that match, calling it a match of the year and I'd be hard pressed to find anyone say otherwise. Our main event is a face off between two men who ultimately fell short at Slam in the Sand, so we got two men definitely with something to prove. But is being in the ring a wise decision after the hell they've been through?
Hart: You keep forgetting, Nick Dangerous has become a weapon, what happens when you run out of bullets in a gunfight Lance? You reload and you keep on shootin'. Nick's just gonna reload and keep on shootin'!
Wilden: Well we're gonna start with the debut of Captain Magnificent.
Hart: This guy is great, Lance! I love him!
Wilden: Considering you never outgrew your childhood fantasies of being a superhero, right?
Hart: There was this one time – wait a minute!
Wilden: Well, Lord Crazy’s already in the ring, folks – he entered to a loud chorus of boos a few minutes prior to us coming back, and he’s slowly removing his armor, awaiting the arrival of his opponent.
Hart: You know this is going to be just grand, Lance! Superheroes pull out all the stops!
[Suddenly, purple smoke billows at the top of the ramp as red, white and blue pyros fire off. “Push it to the Limit” by Paul Engemann begins to play as the fans give a mixed reaction]
Wilden: And the fans aren’t really buying into this character all that yet – they know what they’ve been seeing the past several weeks is a hoax!
Hart: I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lance; the man pulled a door off of a car and saved a child!
[Lord Crazy moves towards the front part of the ring, leaning over the ropes as the music continues and the smoke clears, revealing no Captain Magnificent! Lord Crazy starts to jump around the ring, thinking he’s won the match]
Wilden: And the superhero doesn’t show? This is a bit uncharacteristic, is it not?
Hart: He’s probably out fighting crime, Lance! Lord Crazy isn’t exactly the type of villain he’s looking for when there’s real evil in the world!
Wilden: And Lord Crazy still believes he’s won this match, ladies and gentlemen, and in a few minutes, it looks like referee Hector Garcia is going to agree with him!
[Suddenly, from atop the arena, a purple streak is seen on a thin rope, coming in horizontally towards the ring. As it approaches the ring, the rope stiffens, spinning the mass of purple vertically and lowering him slowly to the ring, much to the horror of Lord Crazy]
Hart: He’s here, Lance! He’s here!
Wilden: You’ve got to be kidding me.
Hart: Fantastic! Listen – the fans are getting behind him, finally! They’re impressed!
DING DING DING
Wilden: And we’re underway tonight, folks, as Captain Magnificent showboats to the fans for a few minutes and waves his cape around the ring!
Hart: A born entertainer!
[Lord Crazy, hoping for the element of surprise, charges towards Captain Magnificent, but exactly like a matador, Captain Magnificent spins his cape and Lord Crazy sprints through, slamming into the turnbuckle!]
Wilden: Not the start that Lord Crazy was hoping for I’m sure!
Hart: Captain Magnificent’s just toying with him, Lance!
[Lord Crazy shakes off and spins around, sprinting full speed at Captain Magnificent again, but alas, as before, charges straight through the purple cape and into the opposite turnbuckle!]
Wilden: This is getting ridiculous now, come on!
Hart: What’s the problem, Lance? Are you not having fun?
Wilden: He’s just toying with the poor man – and we still don’t have any inclination on whether or not Captain Magnificent can actually wrestle!
Hart: You’ll see shortly, I’m positive! Captain Magnificent is going to end this! Watch!
[Angrily, Lord Crazy charges back towards Captain Magnificent, who steps out of the way, but wraps his arms around him and lifts him high into the air, into an Overhead Press!]
Wilden: And Captain Magnificent pulls Lord Crazy into the Overhead Press, pausing – it seems like he’s debating on what to do next with him!
Hart: He better think fast, Lord Crazy’s squirming around up there!
[Suddenly, and almost without any warning at all, Captain Magnificent swings Lord Crazy around and drops him to the canvas with a Cutter! Lord Crazy flails around for a moment before going completely limp in the center of the ring]
Wilden: My God! Where did that come from?
Hart: That’s Magnificent!
[Captain Magnificent stands up and poses as the fans cheer before putting a single foot on Lord Crazy’s chest, prompting a count from Hector Garcia]
Wilden: This is just adding insult to the injury now, come on!
ONE
TWO
THREE
Hart: It’s all over!
DING DING DING
Dixon: Here is your winner...CAAAAAAPTAAAAIN MAGNIFICENNNNT!
[Captain Magnificent jogs around the ring several times, celebrating his quick victory over Lord Crazy when his music is abruptly cut off. He looks around as if he senses danger and his attention is drawn to the top of the ramp. There on the big screen he sees Tony Awesome sitting behind his desk, clapping his hands]
Tony "Totally" Awesome: Captain Magnificent, that truly was…well magnificent. It seems you are bringing to cWo everything that I thought you would. As the owner of this company I have always strived to be ahead of the curve. I have succeeded where other men would have failed. I know what puts fans in the seats, and I know what sells merchandise. The bottom line is if there is a way to make money I am going to explore the option. There is a growing trend in the entertainment industry and what the people are craving is an escape. They want to be entertained, and if you look at this summer’s box office you will see that superheroes sell. You Captain Magnificent are cWo’s superhero!
[The fans begin to cheer loudly and Captain Magnificent reacts by posing for his fans with several leg twists and arm flexes]
Tony "Totally" Awesome: But what makes a hero super? It is more then just super strength and doing good deeds. The people need a reason to pull for you, to see you be successful. You see Captain Magnificent, it is not solely the hero who sells the story. Without the proper motivation things become stale and that just isn’t good business. Like I said, there is a lot of potential in you Captain, I just need to bring it out of you.
Captain Magnificent: The potential is within our hearts and our minds – like all superheroes that are waiting to bust out of each and everyone of you!
Tony "Totally" Awesome: Right, but allow me cut to the chase. What I need from you, is what another superhero brought his company this summer: 400 Million Dollars! And in order to pull in those numbers, you need to be at superhero level! There is only one thing that will truly bring you to the superhero level, and that is a super villain. [Captain Magnificent reacts poorly, his mouth agape] A man the people consider you equal, your nemesis. Someone who can prove that maybe you aren’t super after all. At this time I would like to introduce you to your greatest challenge. No longer will Captain Magnificent be relegated to saving cats and little children. The cWo is about to be taken over by a new disease and it’s up to you to stop it. The cWo needs a hero…I introduce to you The Mad Cow.
[An unknown theme begins to play and The Mad Cow steps out onto the ramp. He is dressed in cow print wrestling tights and a pair of black boots. He is also wearing a shirt that says cOw. His identity is hidden a mask that appears to have bull horns sticking out of the sides. With a microphone in his hands he heads towards a stunned Captain Magnificent, who imitates the fans in his reaction, unsure if to laugh or not]
The Mad Cow: Thanks…for the kind words Tony. There were very moooving. Now don’t look so worried Captain, you have had a good few weeks. But I am sure the fans are as sick of the “good” guy winning as much as I am. That is all going to change! You see I once knew what it was like to do what is right but it never got me anywhere. So it was time to rethink things and start doing what is best for me. Even if that meant making a deal with the devil himself.
[The fans begin to boo the mysterious newcomer]
The Mad Cow: See the fans are booooing and they don’t even know what I am all about. They are just like herded cattle, told where to go and who to root for. People are too afraid to go their own way and they follow blindly. I have heard the cheers that people like Johnny Serious gets…
[The fans erupt at the mention of his name]
The Mad Cow: Josh Cantrell…
[Another loud cheer fills the arena]
The Mad Cow: Raymond Jacobson, all of the fan favorites are treated like gods by you fans. They are nothing but men, just like myself. They don’t deserve to sit upon the pedestals you place them on. But you Captain Magnificent are the worst of them all. They don’t claim to be heroes.
Captain Magnificent: [pleadingly] But I am a hero! All you need is to look at my credentials! I have been cited before!
The Mad Cow: I know how to get to you Magnificent. You might have everyone fooled, but not me. There is a way to crack your shell and I am the man who is going to do it. That is why I am here. You can continue to search for your purpose. I already know mine. You will see that “doing good” will only get you so far. The rest of the way you will have to do on your own. The fans love you because of what you can do for them. Take that away and you are nothing but another man behind a mask. Not so super at all…
[As he music begins to play The Mad Cow disappears to the backstage area leaving a stunned Captain Magnificent in the ring]
Wilden: It looks like the cWo is in the middle of it’s own summer blockbuster.
[Lance looks over to Robbie Hart who is standing up from his announce position]
Wilden: Where are you going Robbie? The show isn’t over.
Hart: I am going to get my popcorn ready.
Wilden: Sit down!
Hart: I could really use some popcorn
Wilden: You should've thought of that earlier now shouldn't you have?
Hart: Well now I'm jonesin', man.
Wilden: Jonesin', huh. Well you got a long way to go, Captain Magnificent wasn't even at Slam in the Sand, we have a lot of ground to cover as a result of the pay per view so hold tight Robbie.
Hart: I'll see what I can do.
[Suddenly as Captain Magnificent is no longer in the ring, the arena turns pitch black and and over the loudspeakers, starting off quickly, are the riffs from Protest the Hero's "Heretics and Killers"]
Wilden: Now here's someone that the fans consider a hero!
Hart: It can’t be – it just can’t be!
They called me the man with the blood of Christ
HONESTYYYY
But tonight I drink with heathens and the finest blasphemies
In wine there's truth but in silence there's surrender
A screaming for the silence in stunned suspicious terror
[Smoke billows at the top of the ramp, forcing people to shield their eyes from the potency]
I built a temple in my life and used God to seal the pillars
After twenty years of fighting young heretics and killers
I watch my temple fall to pieces at the first signs of oncoming weather
Fell to my knees like Jesus in the cave, knew I would die
[As the smoke begins to clear, Christian Roman is seen at the top of the ramp to loud cheers, pushing through the remaining smoke in jeans and a blank, white t-shirt]
But my lips could only say; I'm not your son so why have you forsaken me?
There's a hole in my heart but it just makes me unholy
Crucified that night and I walked away with alter-egos
Like the prison priest who preaches his dead and buried gospel
[He shakes a few hands on his way down, shaking off the seeming rust as uses the stairs to climb into the ring through the ropes]
While my faith is in ruins my duty still breathes strong
I'm a parrot in a cage just saying prayers to belong to a textbook
Of my crying, lying, dying history; a textbook
Of my crying, lying, dying history; a textbook
Of my crying; a textbook
Of my lying; a textbook
Of my dying; a textbook
Of my history.
[Christian hits the closest turnbuckle and raises his right arm in the air and then jumps down, heading to each turnbuckle and imitating the same routine]
Wilden: Another old face becoming new again, cWo enthusiastically welcomes back Christian Roman! And so does our fans! They love this man!
Hart: I don’t understand why – he’s only ditched them countless times!
Wilden: He was unceremoniously dropped from the active roster and later released after a contractual dispute evolved into a physical altercation with then minority owner Andrew Fiasco. Christian claimed he was being discriminated against because of his religion, and well, the story tells itself.
Hart: That’s how he’s always been, Lance! Runs away when the goings get tough -
Wilden: He’s a former World Champion, US Champion, TV Champion – the list is endless! He has almost ALWAYS been a champion for the rights and causes of the fans as well!
Hart: Pff – except for that time last summer –
Wilden: When he deposed Troy Turley?
Hart: No, you know what I mean. That time when –
Wilden: I thought so!
[Christian leans over the ropes and grabs a mic from Donna, heading back towards the center of the ring waiting for the fans to quiet down]
Christian Roman: [silently] Ladies and gentlemen: it’s good to be back. [fans erupt]
Hart: What a showboat!
Wilden: He’s telling the truth, Robbie – no matter where Christian went, cWo has and always will be his home!
Hart: He wasn’t born here! Please!
Christian Roman: This place was my home – this place meant everything to me. And I left it unceremoniously. I left it without looking back. And I did it all of your expenses. I walked out when you perhaps, needed me the most. And I’m truly sorry for the actions I have done and the pain that I have caused. If the Lord can forgive me for what I have done, I hope that you people can as well by opening your arms to me – one last time. [fans cheer]
Hart: He’s starting up again already! Spreading his propaganda!
Wilden: Christian’s just a very exuberant man of faith, Robbie – we all know this!
Hart: This is what got him into hot water last time around; he should know his limits by now!
Christian Roman: Home. You see – that’s why I see this place as. My first real work in this business was right here in this very ring. It was right in front of fans like you. It was under these bright lights. But things were different then.
Hart: You’re telling me! Christian wasn’t such a lunatic then!
Wilden: Christian has, needless to say, suffered through countless transformations over his time here in the cWo, and it’s almost impossible to say which incarnation has shown up here tonight.
Hart: What are you aiming at, Lance? The lunatic on the fringe one is here – look! He’s wearing Jesus ‘round his neck!
Wilden: Isn’t that a line from a U2 song?
Christian Roman: But that’s all changed now. And we can’t go back. And I know this – you all know this. What’s done is done. Clocks cannot be turned back. But don’t you wish. Don’t you wish that some times they could be?
Wilden: What is he aiming at right here?
Hart: Beats me, Lance – I’m pretty sure he’s gone off the deep end!
Christian Roman: Don’t you wish that you could sit back and enjoy the moment over and over again? Stop time at something happy. Erase something bad. Go back to that point where everything changed and fix it? It’s what everybody wants.
Hart: Only if you have regrets!
Wilden: And I’m sure he has quite a few, Robbie.
Christian Roman: And I look at this place now and realize how much it has changed. How much the darkness has overcome the light. How much we’ve sold ourselves out for tomorrow so that we can have a better piece of today. This is never what it was about. This is never what we wanted to show. There’s no more – morality. It has disappeared in this company as it has disappeared in the lives of everyone involved with it. And that is why cWo falters. That is why it comes apart at the seams without me. cWo has entered dark times.
Wilden: The cWo has gone through the roof in the past few months!
Hart: What is Christian on? Dark times?
Christian Roman: Darkness has appeared consistently within the cWo over the past several weeks, but never more apparent than this past Sunday.
[Christian turns towards the Jumbotron to watch footage that begins reeling]
Wilden: Andrew inches, inches away, all he needs is one last lunge...but HERETIC ROLLS BACKWARDS, AND NOW ANDREW'S IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!!
Hart: HE'S GOT NO CHANCE NOW!!
Wilden: Andrew does not want to tap, he's going to try and avoid that as long as humanly possible!! The cWo World Heavyweight Championship, that belt that means so much to him, clutched in his hand as Heretic has both his feet planted and is craning backwards, and Andrew...he drops the belt!!! AND HE TAPS!!! ANDREW TAPS OUT!! DAMMIT, NO!! NO!!
DING!! DING!! DING!!
["Living In The Sunshine" cues on the PA as Johnny Williams hands Heretic the cWo World Heavyweight Championship belt. A sick smile spreads across his face.]
Mic Benson: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, and NNEEEEWWWWWW CWO WOOORRRLLLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, HEEERRETIC!!
Wilden: This can't be!! Heretic is the new cWo World Champion!!
Hart: You feel that!! It's the winds of change!! Finally we have a champion we can be proud of!!
[The footage stills on an image of Heretic with the World Title]
Christian Roman: This is why I have returned. [fans, realizing what Christian is attempting to get at, begin to cheer] This is now my mission.
Wilden: He’s come back for the World Title – he’s come back for Heretic!
Hart: Fat chance that’s happening!
Christian Roman: It’s time that the cWo gets back on its feet; it’s time that there’s a moral compass once again that delineates between the good and the evil – it’s time that there’s a person who’s willing to lead the charge against corruption once more. It’s time for a savior.
Wilden: Christian Roman has vowed to clean up the cWo from the likes of Heretic – the common enemy!
Hart: He’s proclaimed himself as the savior of something that doesn’t need saving! Go back home, Christian, we’ve moved on without you!
[Without warning, "Tiger the Lion" by The Tragically Hip hits the PA system. Gord Downie's voice croons over the music.]
"This is Tiger The Lion..."
"Give me the knuckles of Frisco..."
"If there's danger in the language, Gentlemen..."
"I suggest no further use of the two way radio..."
[Chazz Mendel comes walking out onto the stage in street clothes, holding a microphone in his left hand. He's eerily calm. The crowd gives off a mixed reaction to The Villain Of The Year as he looks out at them.]
Wilden: It's Chazz Mendel! I didn't know he was supposed to be here!
Hart: This makes me happy, Lance! Very happy! Good to see Chazz up and about!
[Chazz makes the head cut motion with his right hand, wanting the music to stop. "Tiger The Lion" quickly fades out.]
Mendel: Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes!
[Chazz pauses, the crowd starts to get a bit antsy. Chazz continues.]
Mendel: I know it's been a while since you've seen me in action. And I know this isn't the most fantastical way to return. But as I was sitting in the back, catching up with the crew, and the boys, and I heard this sort of jibber jabbering going on out here. You know how things always get a little muffled backstage, right? Well, I found myself the nearest monitor and began to watch. Low and behold, it was you, Christian Roman!
[The crowd pops at Roman's mention. Chazz's attention turns from Roman, to the crowd.]
Mendel: Go ahead, cheer more! Cheer until each and every one of your hearts stop! Cheer for a man that has abandoned you more times than I can count on my fingers and toes, and will do again more times than I have hair on my head! Go for it!
[The cheers for Roman intensify, but are also mixed with boos for Mendel.]
Mendel: I can't believe you... All of you... I have been here through thick and thin FOR YOU! More than Christian Roman! More than the precious Lord that he prays to, and puts on you when he begs for your forgiveness! I was taken to the brink, FOR YOU! And I was taken over the edge, FOR YOU! What's he done? He's made a few false promises. THOSE PEOPLE always write checks their butts can't cash! How quickly you forget about folks like me, that have fought the good fight tirelessly! While SOME are inclined to run away when it gets a bit too much for them to handle, instead of persevering like they're supposed to, only to come back and appoint themselves savior.
[Chazz looks directly at Roman.]
Mendel: The world doesn't need saving, Roman. We're doing just fine without you. Nobody in their right mind would believe in you anyway. See, while you were down south, cWo has done nothing but flourish! The landscape of your precious home has changed, and I'm happy to say, your place has turned into the parking lot!
Wilden: The heat is on Chazz Mendel now! Those are some really strong words coming from him!
Hart: He's right, though! Chazz Mendel has been there through thick and thin for the cWo, and they just throw all of their support to Christian Roman because he talks a mean game! Just wait until he has to come through with it all! Man are they gonna be disappointed!
[Christian paces back and forth across the ring, lowering his head, contemplating his next words carefully]
Christian Roman: A few people seem to think that you're wrong, Chazz. [fans cheer and nod in approval] I'm asking for their forgiveness because it's the proper thing to do - it's what God would want me to do - not because I need it to get on with my life! I needed this place - cWo! It's like a drug for me - my ectasy. And to see people like you standing idly by and watching it burn to the ground is too much! Where were you, Chazz? Where were you when the darkness arrived?
[Chazz stands with his arms folded at the top of the ramp as Christian pressures onward]
Christian Roman: Where were you when Heretic rose to the top of this organization? Where were you when he invaded the life of Andrew Phillips, emotionally ripping him apart piece by piece and leaving it all on the floor for someone to clean up? I know where - and these people, they know where you were as well - you were standing like you are right now! [Christian's voice begins to get louder and louder as he gets visibly animated inside the ring] You were doing just that - shooting the breeze with nobodies in the back! You were standing to the side and watching Andrew's life crumple before you, hoping that you'd be able to kick him when he's down! You thought you could get the jump on Heretic, but you were wrong, Chazz, you were wrong, and you're too much of a coward to admit it.
[Chazz looks unamused and begins mouthing words at Christian as the word "coward" stings home]
Wilden: Christian is evidently pulling out all stops in his retort to Chazz Mendel - he's placing blame on him for cWo being overtaken by the might of Heretic!
Hart: He has nobody to blame but himself, Lance! Time and time again, all Christian does is talk the talk!
Mendel: Listen, Running man. There are many things I am, but a coward isn't one of them. I took the man on head on, and I lost! I'm not afraid to admit that at all! And why should I give a damn about Andrew Phillips? He thought he was a superhero, and he went into Slam in the Sand thinking he was invincible. He thought he was like you! And guess what? He got what he had coming to him. That's not my fault. I did what I could before I was beaten in that very ring, and literally had to be dragged out of it to the Asylum! You want to blame me for the downfall of civilization? Fine! But YOU, the SAVIOR? Hardly... In the REAL WORLD, seeing is believing, and from what I'm seeing here, you're in worse shape than I am. I suppose you could always prove me wrong, though.
[Chazz looks at Roman in disgust as he drops the microphone as "Tiger The Lion" starts playing again. Chazz simply starts walking backstage.]
Wilden: Is that a challenge? Chazz Mendel versus Christian Roman?
Hart: Stop putting words in Chazz's mouth, Lance! Did he mention a match? No! That's why nobody likes you, you know!
Wilden: We'll be back! I'm so confused!
[We now go backstage to find J.J. Carter and Brother Shabazz sitting in an otherwise empty locker room. All of a sudden the door swings wide open and Mad Maddie comes barging into the room looking angry.]
Carter: Well, here's a stranger...
[Maddie just charges towards Carter, but Carter steps out of the way and Maddie spears shoulder first into the lockers, then falls down on the ground. She screams in pain.]
Maddie: AHHHHH!!!! DAMN IT!!!
Shabazz: What are you doing now Maddie?
Maddie: Getting back at you two pricks for Slam In The Sand.
Shabazz: You still suck Maddie, get out of here.
Maddie: I don't want to move right now...
Carter: So let me ask you something...
Maddie: [still rolling around on the floor suffering in pain] What?
Carter: So Mary Joe and the femmes weren't good enough for you either?
Maddie: Mary-Joe is a bitch. She wouldn't let me smoke, she dressed me up like a f***in Catholic school girl. I went to Holy Name, I don't need to relive that era of my life. She wouldn't let me be me. I'm a f***in bad influence, and neither you nor Mary-Joe can change me.
Carter: If you can't even get a lick on me in a surprise attack, how do you expect to win the women's title? Seriously...
[Maddie grabs a cigarette, still lying on the floor, lights it up, then takes a drag. She then gets up off the floor, and stabs Carter in the arm with the lit cigarette. Carter screams from the burn, and Shabazz throws Maddie back onto the floor. Carter picks her back up, and throws her out of the locker room. Maddie just starts walking down the hallway, cigarette now in her mouth, screaming incoherently.]
Hart: Wow. With a scream like that J.J. is a dead ringer for the women's division. Someone send Awesome the memo!
Wilden: Robbie!
Hart: What!
DING DING DING
Dixon: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
[Anticipating fans cheer as they hear the intro for "Simple Man" kick up on the P.A. system.]
Wilden: And here comes our first match after Slam in the Sand. Quite a story behind it too.
Hart: Dynamite got his world turned upside down!
Wilden: I don't quite know how to explain it, but let's let the footage explain everything. Tiffany Tolberg was backstage looking for would be cWo wrestler Jon Law, but he was nowhere to be found.
[The song begins to pick up steam as we see Barrett Hawk come out from the entrance-way, sporting his now trademark cowboy hat, while he clutches the top corners of an American Flag to his wrists as the aforementioned footage appears on the screen. We see Tiffany Tolberg scanning over the backstage area with an inquisitive look on her face as she is in the locker room with Dynamite looking at her creepily, there's also an unknown wrestler .]
Dynamite: Tick.....
[Tolberg tries to ignore him as she keeps looking around, looking across the hallway from the door.]
Dynamite: Tick....
[Tolberg looks a little frustrated as she sighs. Meanwhile the man in black spandex trunks with a B.H. logo on his chest gets up from the bench.]
Dynamite: Tick...
Tolberg: Have you seen Jon-
[Dynamite struggles as the wrestler puts him in a headlock.]
Dynamite: BOO-Hey what the?
Tolberg: Hey! Let go of him!
Man: I have to do this.
Dynamite: My neck! It's my neck! I have a bad neck!
Tolberg: Let him go! Who are you?
Man: My name's Billy Headlock! And I got the best headlock in wrestling!
Dynamite: Let go of me! This hurts!.....
Wilden: Folks this man didn't relent for roughly forty five minutes.
[The footage skips ahead to an ambulance moving out of the building with sirens rolling as Tiffany Tolberg is seen in the distance reporting about the situation to a different camera.]
Hart: That was a mean headlock, forty five minutes..will we ever see Dynamite again?
[Cameras transition to Barrett.]
Wilden: I've heard some rough things about his condition. What I can't wrap my head around is why nobody stopped him.
Dixon: In the ring, first, weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds, he hails from Sulphur, Oklahoma he is Barreeeeeeeet Hawk!
[Fans cheer as his music fades out, to the sound of Pink Floyd's "Money" as Mr. Rich makes his way out to the ring alongside four of his and Dangerous' young students.]
Dixon: And his opponent, being accompanied to the ring by his students. He weighs in at two hundred and fifty four pounds and hails from New York City in New York. Mr. Rich!
Wilden: Do those students really need to be out here?
Hart: All this sausage makes me realize Evette's not around!
Wilden: She's probably too focused for what the future holds for the women's division.
[Mr. Rich enters the ring with a big smile on his face as his students applaud.]
Hart: Look at how mild mannered those students are. He really taught them well.
Wilden: Yeah they're well trained in kissing Mr. Rich's butt.
[Both men are in the ring as they meet face to face. Barrett with a serious look on his face as Rich is all smiles.]
Wilden: You can tell by the looks on their faces Barrett is treating this a lot more seriously than Mr. Rich.
Hart: Rich would have a harder time wrestling Dynamite!
DING DING DING
Wilden: Hector Garcia calls for the bell and we're under way!
[Barrett offers his hand for a shake before the match, but Rich backs away audibly heard saying "ha ha, you wish pal!" As he begins circling around Barrett.]
Wilden: Rich, so disrespectful.
Hart: He's a legend! He's earned the right to look down on everyone else!
[Barrett catches Rich off guard with an ultra fast double leg take down.]
Wilden: Hawk getting right into it! Trying to make up for his losses at Slam in the Sand right away, he's going for the Texas Cloverleaf!
Hart: Not gonna work on a legend!
[Mr. Rich makes his way out of the submission before it happens with a small package pin.]
Wilden: Rich reverses!
ONE
Wilden: Quick kickout.
[Both men get to their feet, as they both go for a collar and elbow tie up, but Mr. Rich puts the breaks on and pokes Barrett in the eyes.]
Wilden: Yeah he's a real legend alright Robbie.
Hart: Well...yeah!
[Rich follows up slamming Barrett's head against the turnbuckle, and laying waste to him with back elbows to the side of the head.]
Hart: Look at those students of his. You can see their passion for the business really shine here. Cheering on Rich like the rest of the fans should be.
Wilden: That's because that's all those kids are, fans!
Hart: Rich broke them into the business and birthed wrestlers out of them!
Wilden: Those people are not wrestlers. They're brainwashed into thinking they are but they're not.
[Meanwhile Mr. Rich takes Barrett from the corner and snap mares him to the mat, once in a seated position Rich knife edge chops him to the mat.]
Hart: What a chop!
Wilden: Pins him.
ONE
Wilden: Kickout.
[Mr. Rich wrenches at Barrett's arm as he bring him to his feet and places him in a headlock.]
Wilden: And a headlock!
Hart: If Rich were Billy Headlock right now Hawk would have forty five minutes to live.
Wilden: Roughly forty five minutes.
Hart: Right.
Wilden: But he's not Billy Headlock, he's Mr. Rich. And Mr. Rich now takes Hawk down with a headlock takeover. Keeping the headlock applied, Barrett doesn't have a lot of places to go, by the untrained eye.
Hart: For the untrained wrestler it could be tough to get out of it.
Wilden: Are you? Those poor excuses for students of the game watch on from the outside and you're calling Barrett inexperienced?
Hart: What has he won? Those "poor excuses" beat Johnny Serious ya know!
Wilden: You're unbelievable.
[Barrett rolls Rich onto his shoulders in a bridging pin attempt.]
ONE
TWO
Hart: No!
Wilden: Barrett keeping Rich on his toes, but Rich not letting his grip ease.
[Barrett manages to get out of the hold applying a leg scissors on Rich.]
Wilden: Rich now caught between Barrett's legs, Rich sommersaults into a bridging pin, nice work there!
ONE
TWO
[Barrett lifts himself and Rich out of the bridge as they both are brought to their feet, Barrett spins around and brings Rich down with a backslide pin.]
Wilden: Look at this!
ONE
TWO
Wilden: Kickout! Early two!
[Both men get to their feet as Mr. Rich drops Barrett off his feet with a hard close fisted right hand.]
Wilden: Well I was gonna say at his age Rich still has it, and then he does that.
Hart: This is the year two thousand eight Lance, it's time to stop crying over a punch!
Wilden: Doesn't matter what year it is, it's still against the rules!
[Mr. Rich mounts Barrett and begins punching him as Hector Garcia pleads with him to stop, beginning a count to five.]
Wilden: Rich stopping this brutal assault at the five count. Another pin.
ONE
TWO
Wilden: Barrett still has fight in him.
[Rich gets to his feet as he argues with Garcia, saying "that was three!" Garcia responds "it was two Rich!" as Rich shoos his hands towards him saying "ah what do you know," as he drops an elbow to the chest of Barrett Hawk.]
Wilden: Little dispute with Garcia there, not deterring him from maintaining control of the match. Ooh, and another elbow.
[Mr. Rich gets up as he surveys the crowd booing him.]
Hart: Don't worry about those idiots!
[Rich backs against the ropes.]
Wilden: Rich with a jumping knee-no! Barrett moves!
Hart: Ah!
[The fans cheer as Rich is stunned on his hands and knees.]
Wilden: And Barrett with a leg drop on the back of Rich's head!
Hart: Keep it together!
Wilden: Barrett going for the Texas Cloverleaf again!
Hart: He's desperate!
Wilden: Maybe so but if he gets it, this could be it!
[Mr. Rich kicks his legs, pushing Barrett backwards into the turnbuckle, Mr. Rich gets up to his feet as he charges after Barrett.]
Wilden: Will Mr. Rich capitalize?
[Barrett charges Rich as well, meeting him half way as he captures Rich in a running wrist clutch side slam as the crowd "oooohs!"]
Wilden: What a side slam! Will that be it?
ONE
TWO
Wilden: No!
Hart: Thank god!
[Barrett gets to his feet as he gestures the symbol of love with both arms to the crowd, as he then gestures to Rich to get to his feet.]
Wilden: Hawk getting amped up!
[Rich gets up using the corner ropes for support, as Barrett charges.]
Wilden: Hawk on the chase!
Hart: Yes!
Wilden: And a tough break for Barrett Hawk!
[Rich dodges Barrett Hawk after attempting a running sit out lariat, but ends up colliding chest first into the top turnbuckle, exhausted as he sits atop the second turnbuckle.]
Wilden: That looked to have knocked the wind right out of the "Simple Man."
[Rich goes behind Hawk and brings him down backwards by the head with a Dow Jones, only pulling Hawk backwards instead of forwards.]
Wilden: Rich with a unique spin on his finishing move the Dow Jones!
Hart: Hawk is gonna wish Billy Headlock hadn't made his mark tonight!
[Rich pulls Barrett from the corner to pin him without risk of a rope break.]
Wilden: C'mon Barrett!
ONE
TWO
THREE
Wilden: Aw poor Hawk!
["Money" hits the PA system as the students get in the ring and helps Mr. Rich to his feet.]
Hart: Poor Hawk? He's in the ring with cWo's true blue ring general. Rich knows what he's doing when he's in that ring, he's not Dynamite, he's no journeyman wrestler, he's a legend!
Wilden: Whatever he is, he's been pulling together an impressive amount of victories since Fiasco has been out of his life.
Hart: No coincidence there either.
Dixon: The winner of this match, Mr. Rich!
Wilden: Well chalk that up to Mr. Rich's growin undefeated streak I guess.
Hart: You sound awful enthusiastic about that!
Wilden: I'm just waiting for Barrett Hawk to have his day in the sun.
Hart: Well between now and when global warming hits its peak I don't think there's enough time for that.
[Cameras catch Mr. Rich as he leaves the arena up the entrance ramp with his students, when Mike Logan suddenly appears on the big screen wearing no shirt as he arrogantly mugs to the camera.]
Wilden: Now what's this all about? Hasn't this guy done enough?
[The camera zooms out to see Logan wearing a pair of blue jeans with two young women in his arms.]
Wilden: Unbelievable. How young must those girls be?
Hart: They look perfectly legal to me!
[The fans boo Logan, while the sight of him brings a recovered Barrett Hawk to a point of frustration as Logan starts to speak.]
Logan: Aw you don't have to look at me like that. Here I am, trying to help you, Hop-along Hay-seed and make your life a little more meaningful by sharing my wealth of women with you. And to be quite frank about it, Mike Logan finds himself a little bit jealous of you, Barrett Hawk. To turn down my fine-ass women for your horse-faced girlfriend is something "The Canadian Gigolo" just does not understand.
Wilden: Still as full of himself as ever, I see.
Hart: The man's not done, Lance!
Logan: You see, I don't give a damn about any of these stupid marks in the stands because all they do for me is pay my enormous salary...
Wilden: These fans obviously not happy with that remark.
Logan: I'm trying to cut a promo, so you people need to put your thumbs back up your asses and shut the hell up while I'm speaking.
[A "you suck" chant ensues as Mike continues.]
Logan: I don't suck... I eat, mm-kay? Anyway... Barrett, usually when I see someone with a woman like you have, either the girl's rich... or she's damned good in the sack... and by the looks of your ex, she doesn't look very rich to me.
Wilden: Oh what a horrible thing to say!
Hart: No, this is CLASSIC!
Logan: So, what I'm trying to say, cow-poke... is that MAYBE I'll leave you alone... once I get to give your ex-wife my autograph... in HER!
[Logan laughs as the feed to Mike Logan in the locker room cuts off the screen, as Barrett suddenly becomes irate, as he rolls out of the ring and walks forcefully up the apron.]
Wilden: What kind of a thing to say is that? What kind of a human being...
Hart: He's just a man who knows what he wants.
Wilden: Well Logan has no idea what he has coming now! Barrett's gonna bring the fight to Logan!
Hart: What makes you think he can take Logan?
Wilden: Because Logan is a coward. He had to hide behind a camera to own up to his actions at Slam in the Sand!
[Officials and referees come down the ring apron trying to slow down Barrett Hawk as Tony Awesome approaches from behind the group of officials.]
Wilden: Looks like Tony Awesome isn't gonna let this fight take place.
[Close cameras catch Tony Awesome saying to a restricted Barrett Hawk "this isn't the way to settle this Barrett." We hear Barrett respond saying "people can't go around talkin' like that! I've had enough of him!" Tony Awesome tells Barrett "let me take care of this. I'm gonna talk to him."]
Wilden: Tony Awesome looks genuinely sympathetic to Barrett's cause. Mike Logan just made this more personal than we could have imagined....
Hart: Well seriously, what can you expect? Logan offered Barrett a courtesy that, well guys like you could really benefit from you.Wilden: I have a wife!
Hart: Yeah well I bet she's a reeeeaaal looker ain't she when you compare her to the ladies Logan hangs out with.
Wilden: Hart do you really want to go there?
Hart: Okay fine, but Hawk could at least say no nicely!
Wilden: He's done that a few times!
Hart: Well if he's done that all the time things wouldn't have come so far!
[As Barrett and the officials bring Barrett backstage, slowly the house lights fade until the arena is pitch black.]
Widen: Ladies and gentlemen I have no idea what’s going on here.
Hart: I can’t see my hand in front of the my face.
[Suddenly the big screen flickers to life and static gives way to slow motion black and white footage of the final 30 seconds of the Steel Cage match between Jacob Baxter and Josh Cantrell at Slam in the Sand.]
Wilden: Cantrell moving barely now and he is trying to drag himself towards Baxter.
FIVE
SIX
SEVEN
Wilden: Cantrell is inches away from Jacob Baxter and the count is continuing, why isn’t he trying to stand.
Hart: He’s giving up! He’s a coward.
EIGHT
NINE
Wilden: The Product of Hate stretches his arm out and drapes across the chest of Jacob Baxter who still hasn’t moved. Now Referee Blake drops down to count the pinfall.
ONE
TWO
THREE
Wilden: CANTRELL WINS!!! Josh Cantrell is the NEW… cWo UNITED STATES CHAMPION!!!
Donna Dixon: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner and NEW FIGHTING CHAMPION OF THE UNITED KINGDOM, ‘The Product of Hate” JOSH CANTRELL!!!
[The fans in the arena who are reliving this moment on the big screen erupt into cheers.]
“Yeah I get it you’re an outcast.”
[A burst of bright red lights shoot from the entryway and then it fills with red fog. Shinedown’s “The Sound of Madness” blares from the PA. The house lights slowly raise and the crowd goes absolutely nuts as “The Product of Hate” Josh Cantrell steps through the fog wearing a #25 New Orleans Saints Jersey and jeans. Josh steps into the ring and the lights return to normal and the music is cut. He walks around the ring a few seconds soaking in the cheers. He then walks over to the corner of the ring where Donna Dixon is sitting.]
Wilden: What a reception for “The Product of Hate”!
Hart: Well you might as well call me Helen Keller, after those damn red lights and these fans cheering so loud for Cantrell I think I’m blind and deaf.
[Josh points at Donna and motions for her to come into the ring. Donna gets up on the apron and Cantrell holds the ropes for her. She hands Cantrell a microphone and looks a bit confused.]
Cantrell: I got some stuff to say, but before I get started I need a proper introduction.
[Cantrell leans over to Dixon and whispers something in her ear. She smiles and nods her head as he hands her the microphone.]
Dixon: Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome your NEW cWo UNITED STATES CHAMPION, “The Product of Hate” JOSH CANTRELL!!!
[Again the crowd erupts as Cantrell takes the jersey off and tosses it into the crowd, around his waist is the US Title. Josh unstraps it and holds it up high and it’s very clear that he’s had it returned to its original state after Jacob Baxter had it changed. Donna hands Cantrell the mic back and she returns to her seat. The Product of Hate waits for the crowd to die down before speaking.]
Cantrell: This feels really good. I’ve been a World Champion before and I’m not normally the type of guy that worries about things like title belts, but this**raises the belt over his head** carries a lot of history with it and I’m damn proud to add my name to the list of great wrestlers who’ve held it before me.
[The Product of Hate places the belt over his shoulder and walks around the ring with a huge smile. He stops and the smile fades as a serious look comes over him.]
Cantrell: He’s a Bastard no doubt, and while I still don’t like him a damn bit but he’s one tough Son of a Bitch and Sunday night Jacob Baxter earned my respect. I’m sure he could probably care less about me respecting him but I just had to give the man some credit for the war we were in at Slam in the Sand. Now the next item on the agenda…
[Suddenly, "Maple Leaf Rag" plays as Thaddeus Walker leads Xyce Pac and Devon Dice to the ring with CB Fowler and TJ Walker in tow!]
Hart: Finally, something to save us from the snore fest that Cantrell was putting us through! Remember the WGL has something more important to celebrate!
Wilden: Really? I'm just expecting a few lines of non-sense and then some innovating challenge that isn't really innovative at all!
Hart: That isn't what happens! They are unpredictable!
[Thaddeus is handed a microphone as his music dies down. Cantrell looks upset that he was interrupted!]
Walker: I hate to interrupt my good sir, but you are not the only one who is celebrating a reveered victory! Yes, I know being a champion of the good U.S. of A is the cat's pajamas, but you did not win World War II! Together, the WGL stood triumphant against the forces of evil! Now it is time for the World Gentleman's League to re-acquire the championship of the United States and therefore govern over all the territories! But I have other things I must attend to, being the patriarch of the first ever stable is pressing! Instead, I have chosen another gentleman to take the reigns and conquer the champion! This is the scholar that won the war for the WGL and brought us one step closer to achieving our goal of instilling good Christian American values to the children of the world. So, without any adeu furthered, I bring you the man who ranks number one in the ranks of people who are eligible to challenge for the championship of all of the American territories!
["Welcome to the Jungle" by Richard Cheese hits as Chandler Edsel Dalmon walks out to the ring with Ameryca behind him. Thaddeus hands him the mic as he smiles at Cantrell who looks more annoyed than anything else!]
Dalmon: Thank you Thaddeus and good evening Mr. Cantrell! Firstly, congratulations on what is probably, in your opinion, a big win! But... risking to sound a bit cliche here... I have a hypothesis that it won't be a very long reign! As Thaddeus said, due to my accolades over the past few months, and of course the monumental win last night and the fact that I pinned you only a few weeks ago, I feel that I have deserved my spot as the number one contender to your title! So, I'll level...
[Cantrell cuts Chandler off mid sentence.]
Cantrell: That's all you had to say, if you feel like you earned your shot then we can go... RIGHT NOW!
[The crowd pops loudly for Cantrell and he continues.]
Cantrell: But send your boys to the back... and that includes Mrs. Doubtfire.
[Chandler turns towards Ameryca and the rest of the WGL and then back at Cantrell!]
Dalmon: I'll have you know that she has a very endearing personality! But I am willing to comply to your standards so we can finish this CONVERSATION!
[Chandler looks at the WGL and waits for them to exit the rampway before continuing!]
Dalmon: Now, I appreciate your eagerness, but as you can see I am not dressed to wrestle tonight! I was actually planning on cutting out of here early to finish the novel I have been working on! And any educated man knows not to jump right into a match without going through terms and conditions! You've been at this long enough to know that!
[The Product of Hate just smiles and shakes his head.]
Cantrell: You got any plans next week Skippy? Cause I’d just as soon kick your ass this week, and I’m sure all these people wouldn’t mind seeing that tonight **crowd pops** but since you’re a p###y, we can wait till next week.
[Cantrell pauses again.]
Cantrell: And as far as terms and conditions? That’s easy, we both come down to the ring and I proceed to try my damnedest to snap your spine. I go home with my belt and your band of merry misfits comes and scrapes what’s left of you up off the mat. Deal?
[Chandler looks around at the fans cheering for Cantrell!]
Dalmon: You are actually cheering this guy? After using language that a thirteen year old who just discovered South Park would and making threats to maim me that are right out of a Mortal Kombat video? Is that what passes for "popular" these days? Is that really what the kids are into these days?
[Chandler turns back to Cantrell!]
Dalmon: Although you were VERY rude and abrassive with your answer, but you can't expect much from the uneducated, I agree to your terms and conditions! Next week, it will be the two of us in that ring, for that title! But since I have the confidence, I have already won, so my last request is that you please shine that belt up real nice before Driven next Thursday!
Cantrell: Then it's set, and I gurantee the belt will be so shiney that when the ref hold it up before the match starts you'll be able to see your reflection, but that's as close as you'll ever get to it. So I'll see you next week Skippy!
[Chandler spins on his heel with a satisfied look and walks back through the curtain while Cantrell climbs the turnbuckle and raises his title in the air.]
Wilden: What a match that’s going to be! Josh Cantrell defends the United States Championship for the first time against WGL’s Chandler Edsel Dalmon next week on Driven. This is huge!
Hart: Big Smarty is going to be a CHAMPION!
Wilden: He’s got his work cut out for him that’s for sure! We’ll be right back folks.
[The cameras cut backstage to Tiffany Tolberg, walking alongside Chazz Mendel. Mendel is still in his street clothes, but he's now wearing a pair of Aviator sunglasses. The two walk down the hall, Tolberg trying to keep up with Mendel while trying to conduct his interview.]
Tolberg: Lance, Robbie, I've finally caught up to "The Villain Of The Year" Chazz Mendel! Now Chazz, you left us all hanging just a short while ago when you said that Christian Roman had to prove something to you. He's been a man of his word since he's been a part of cWo, and let's face it he's been here a lot longer than you have. If there's a man that can bring cWo out of what he calls the dark ages, it's Christian Roman.
[Chazz lets out a long sigh as he walks.]
Mendel: Tiffany, you're right. Christian Roman IS in fact a man of his word. But if it's a savior we need, then we need more than a man of words, we need a man of ACTION. Christian Roman can make all the promises in the world, Tiffany. He can say recite every word in the dictionary with all sorts of conviction, but he'll never act. Do I consider myself a man of action? You're damn right I do.
[Chazz comes to a stop in front of a door marked "Nick Dangerous."]
Tolberg: Nick Dangerous? What the...?
Mendel: A man of action isn't without good people backing him up, Tiffany. It's simple! With Christian Roman trying to rally the good people of the cWo, it's like the blind leading the blind. And to be perfectly honest, my eyes are wide open! There's only one man I know that has a sharper eye than I!
[Chazz knocks on the door three times. The door opens, and John Pilchard, donning a neck brace, yet still with his usual arrogant smile on his face emerges from the other side. The two men exchange a handshake and a pat on Chazz's back.]
Pilchard: Chazz! Wait in the room a while, don't worry about Nick, he's around somewhere rehabilitating.
[Chazz goes in the locker room as Pilchard shuts the door for him, he immediately turns around to glare angrilly at Tiffany Tolberg, straining his neck on the turn.]
Pilchard: I'm making a formal complaint.
Tolberg: What?
[Pilchard takes Tolberg's mic as he continues.]
Pilchard: I'm telling Tony Awesome that time after time I've tried asking you nicely, but you and Tolberg...you keep on thinking, that MY BUSINESS..IS SOMEHOW YOUR BUSINESS! THIS IS IT! GET OUT OF HERE!
[Tolberg eyes begin to water as she walks off, as Pilchard keeps her mic, and talks into the camera.]
Pilchard: But since I have a microphone and a camera, I might as well do my job because I'm the only journalist who does it right. Now I'm not gonna say anything about the neckbrace..other than Johnny Serious can rot in hell.
[Pilchard struggles to swallow his own spit as he continues.]
Pilchard: You're all probably wondering, what business does Chazz Mendel have with John Pilchard? Well it's quite simple, Chazz and I go back, Chazz, Nick and I, the three of us have history, the three of us understand that we're the only three around here who truly see eye to eye. We're the only three who can see through the eyes of others and know who they really are. Tonight Christian Roman came down to the misguided delight of every man woman and child in New Orleans tonight, but Chazz and I? We looked in his eyes and we saw into his soul and know that the only reason he's back is to reinvigorate his soul with the warmth of that spotlight. Chazz came to me because I'm the only journalist in cWo who can unravel the thread that hides the real Christian Roman, and Roman, the same rules apply as they did to Andrew Fiasco, before we find out the hard way what really drives you, you're free to enlighten the world on your own terms and confess to your..."sins."
But there's more than one piece in this Pilchard Exclusive puzzle. Chris Michaels. You and Christian Roman are a lot alike, while Chazz Mendel and Nick Dangerous kept this place afloat, you and him come waltzing back like the only reason my pals kept this place warm was so you could come back and rest comfortably on your laurels based around the fact that you two were relevant six years ago. I read your silly little column on my laptop before I got here, I read your words of encouragement to the little train that couldn't Raymond Jacobson, and I know you're gonna be out there.
[Pilchard lets out a small cough.]
Pilchard: Well so am I. Nick Dangerous is hurt bad, but I know Jacobson is too, to Nick working hurt is just another day at the office, for Jacobson it's paying dues he should've paid long ago, and I wanna be there to see Nick Dangerous silence your false claims that Jacobson has any kind of future in the cWo. And I heard about your little chat with Tony Awesome earlier today, so I can rest assured if you have any brains, when Nick Dangerous breaks Jacobson's arm like he broke yours there's nothing you can do about it but stand there and look dumb as you are!
[Pilchard stares into the camera as we fade to "The Comeback Kid" Andrew Phillips sitting in the lockerroom, head down, his eye still blacked from his match with Heretic. Jason Duran enters, but he barely acknowledges him.]
Duran: Andrew? I was just wondering if I could get your thoughts on losing the cWo World Championship to Heretic this past Sunday.
[Andrew looks up at her, but doesn't say anything. Then he looks back down at the floor.]
Duran: Andrew, I know it's been hard, but if I could just get a comment...
Voice: Oh how the mighty have fallen.
[The crowd boos as Mr. Rich, tired and sweaty from his match with Barrett Hawk, alongside his students step into the frame, with Rich shaking his head. Andrew still doesn't say anything.]
Mr. Rich: What a sight...what happened to you?
Andrew: What?
Mr. Rich: You heard me.
Andrew: What do you mean what happened to me?
Mr. Rich: I mean that one minute, you're the World Heavyweight Champion. And the next...the next you're just another low class loser.
[Andrew glares at Mr. Rich as he walks out, smug smile on his face. Andrew shakes his head, then goes back to staring at the floor.]
Wilden: Very uncharacterstic behaviour from Andrew Phillips, Heretic's definitely left a bruise on his mental psyche.
Hart: He's lucky to be walking on two feet, a luxury Heretic hasn't provided his previous victims.
Wilden: True enough. Either way shame on Rich for taking advantage of him.
Hart: Oh boo hoo, Lance! Mr. Rich's stock is rising while the beloved Andrew Phillips star dwindles, the sky is still blue, Mary-Joe's still a fox, life goes on!
Wilden: Well Andrew Phillips isn't the only one left disappointed after Slam in the Sand, after the fight that Sean Pason had a couple days ago I'm shocked that he would accept a match against Dakota Smith.
Hart: Sean Pason wasn’t in a fight a couple days ago at Slam in the Sand, he was in a beating. Thaddeus and WGL sure gave a beating to those hooligans including Sean Pason.
Wilden: Sean Pason and Raymond Jacobson gave one hell of a fight and were the last two remaining members on there team. If it wasn’t for Mike Logan who knows how the outcome would have been. Mike Logan’s actions shifted momentum to WGL.
Hart: Oh Please! Mike Logan did what was right for Mike Logan. Anyway Pason and Jocobson had there chances of winning the match, but they didn’t.
Wilden: Anyway Sean Pason is going to be able to let go of his frustrations on Dakota Smith who is about to enter the ring.
Dixon: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, entering the ring first weighing in at two hundred and twenty one pounds, hailing from Chicago, Illinois… Dakota… Smith!!!
[“Take This Life” Starts to blast over the PA system… A couple of seconds past as the fans are mixed with boo’s and cheers! Dakota Smith steps out from the back he smirks as he puts out both of his hands as Sparks drop down on top of him…Dakota Waits a couple of seconds before he starts to Walk to the ring. Dakota Gets half way down the ramp before he points to the ring and smirks he runs toward it. When he gets to the ring he quickly slides in and goes for the left most corner he climbs up to the middle rope. He looks around before flipping off! Dakota then waits for the bell to ring.]
Wilden: Dakota Smith was on the rise here in cWo, but has kind of been slowing down lately. Dakota hopes to jump start things again with a win over Sean Pason.
Dixon: His opponent, weighing in at two hundred and ten pounds and hailing from Charlotte North Carolina. He is Sean… Pason!!!
[The lights begin to dim as the intro to “Till I Collapse” begins playing in the background. Then suddenly lights begin to flicker off and on as Sean Pason slowly walks out of the entrance ramp. Sean wearing a hooded sweatshirt stops and moves his head to the beat of the song, then continues towards the ring. Pason slaps a couple of the fans hands that are trying to reach out to him. Sean slowly enters into the ring as his entrance song ends. Sean takes the sweatshirt off throwing it into the crowd.]
Wilden: Sean Pason looks to be a little angry, I guess he’s still reeling after that lost to the WGL.
Hart: We’ll see how Sean Pason does against Dakota Smith since Sean Pason can be as angry and as intense as he wants, but he can’t be a 100 percent after the World War II match.
Wilden: Sean Pason can’t be a 100 percent, but that won’t stop him. Sean Pason and Dakota Smith circle around the ring, both men lock up as Sean Pason delivers a headlock on Dakota Smith. Dakota Smith counters by pushing Pason into the ropes. Pason nails a shoulder block on Dakota Smith sending Dakota Smith to the mat. Pason grabs Dakota Smith and explodes with a combo of rights to the head of Sean Heart. Referee Aaron Blake is warning Sean Pason on using closed right hands on Dakota Smith.
Hart: Aaron Blake is informing the cheater Sean Pason to stop using his dirty tactics on Dakota Smith.
Wilden: Sean Pason is not cheating, he’s just showing that anger he still about his match in Slam in the Sand. Pason lifts Dakota Smith up for a suplex, but Dakota Smith counters and rolls Sean Pason up for a cradle pin.
ONE
TWO
Wilden: Sean Pason quickly kicks out, Dakota Smith is on the advantage as he delivers a knee to the midsection of Sean Pason. Dakota Smtih whips Sean Pason into the ropes and nails Sean Pason with a perfectly placed hesitation dropkick. Dakota Smith quickly capitalizes on Sean Pason with a snap suplex and goes for the cover.
ONE
TWO
Wilden: Sean Pason kicks out as referee Aaron Blake was about to make a three count. Dakota Smith is looking good in this match as Sean Pason seems to be out of it.
Hart: Sean Pason once again is proving to be only a street fighter as real wrestlers is beating him down once again.
Wilden: Dakota Smith whips Sean Pason into the ropes, Pason springs off the ropes and ducks a big clothesline by Dakota Smith. Pason springs off the ropes again and nails a flying forearm on Dakota Smith. Both men are lying on the mat as Aaron Blake begins to make a ten count.
ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
FIVE
SIX
SEVEN
Wilden: Both men are beginning to get up as Dakota Smith is already on one knee as Sean Pason is pulling himself up on the ropes.
EIGHT
Wilden: Dakota Smith is fully up as he lunges straight at Sean Pason. Dakota Smith begins nailing Sean Pason with lefts and rights sending Sean Pason wobbling to the turnbuckle. Dakota Smith whips Pason to the opposite turnbuckle, Dakota Smith lunges straight at Sean Pason. But Sean Pason counters with a boot to the face. Dakota Smith stumbles back as Sean Pason lunges straight at Dakota Smith. Dakota Smith is able to duck and delivers a back body drop on Pason.
Hart: Dakota Smith is able to once again gain the upper hand on Sean Pason. Sean Pason is just completely getting dominated.
Wilden: Completely dominated, both men have been giving it their all. Dakota Smith quickly grabs Pason. Pason tries to counter by delivering a back elbow to the midsection of heart. Pason turns Dakota Smith around and delivers a back body drop on Smith. Pason goes for the cover.
ONE
TWO
Wilden: Dakota Smith gets a shoulder up quickly, Sean Pason grabs Dakota Smith up and starts delivering thunderous kick to the legs of Dakota Smith. Dakota Smiths falls to one knee as Sean Pason lunges straight towards Smith with a knee strike. Dakota Smith falls hard to the mat. Sean Pason once again covers Dakota Smith.
ONE
TWO
THREE
Wilden: Dakota Smith is able to kick out just as referee Aaron Blake was about to make the three count. Sean Pason seems to have had enough as he is signaling for his finisher redemption. Sean Pason lifts Dakota Smith for the Death Valley Driver, but Smith fights out of it and is going for WOTC. Sean Pason is trying to fight out of it by delivering elbow shots to side of Dakota Smith’s head. Dakota Smith lets go of the hold kicks Sean Pason into the midsection. Dakota Smith whips Sean Pason to the ropes and goes again for the WOTC, but Pason counters and nails Dakota Smith with Last Words. Dakota Smith is trying to fight out of the guillotine choke, but Smith is basically in the middle of the ring. Aaron Blake is checking on Dakota Smith and Smith can’t fight it any more and taps out. Referee Aaron Blake is calling for the bell.
Dixon: Ladies and Gentlemen referee Aaron Blake is call for the bell. And the winner of the match due to submission is Sean Pason
Hart: It seems that hooligan Sean Pason isn’t done as he is requesting a microphone.
Pason: Now I’ve been pretty quiet, but after Slam in the Sand what can I say. The WGL won one, but I’ve got to give props to Raymond Jacobson he has a bright future here in cWo. Mike Logan what you did was unbelievable, leaving your partners out to dry, just showed who you are, and what you did tonight was sickening. And believe me if I didn’t know that Barrett Hawk didn’t want you bad I would confront you myself but you’ll get what you deserve. Now on to the real reason I’m here. Thaddeus Walker, well old rival it seems you have been doing quite well for yourself since I’ve been gone. You’ve been able to recruit a bunch of morons to believe in your radical philosophy. Congratulations there are some real weak minds in cWo and you found them. Well guess what? I’m back, and since I’m back it s the first thing that I must do is fix a growing problem in cWo. So I’m going to give you a couple options you can meet me in this ring next week at Driven or I will walk through this arena, look through every office door, locker door, closet door, the ice cream vendor’s door right next to the hotdog vendor with the uni-brow that looks like he just painted it on. It doesn’t matter where you are I will find. So please for your sake pick option one because if you don’t option two will automatically give the biggest beaten you have seen in years. It will make the depression seem like just a sad day. You have one week to come out here, the time is ticking.
[Sean Pason drops the mic and exits the ring towards the back as the crowd cheers.]
Hart: How dare that hooligan Sean Pason threaten Thaddeus Walker into meeting him in the ring. Sean Pason does not know who he is messing with...
[Phantasy sits in her locker room, eyes closed with head phones on listening to her Ipod. A knock is heard at the door but she doesn’t answer because she can’t hear it for the music. Again the person knocks but doesn’t get an answer. Finally, the door swings open and Phantasy opens her eyes to see “The Product of Hate” Josh Cantrell with the cWo US Title draped over his shoulder walk into her locker room. She yanks the headphones off and looks up at him furiously.]
Phantasy: Do you not know how to knock?
Cantrell: I did, twice!
Phantasy: What do you want?
Cantrell: I want to apologize to you.
Phantasy: What for?
[Josh hesitates then takes a deep breath.]
Cantrell: Some of the big shots behind the scenes at cWo called me earlier this week to look over some footage they wanted to use for “50 Greatest Moments in cWo” DVD they’re thinking about putting together. One of the clips was from last year and there is a reference to you in it and it’s kinda rude so I wanted to say I’m sorry before you see it and fly off the handle.
[Phantasy looks confused.]
Phantasy: What would you have said about me? I was not even in cWo then.
Cantrell: I know, I just mentioned something about back when I worked for your old man and how you should never pork the bosses Daughter.
[She stands up still with a confused look on her face.]
Phantasy: I do not know what it means to “pork” someone, but it does not sound very flattering.
Cantrell: It’s not… it means to…uhm you know… what we did at that park on the top of the hill that over looks Tokyo the night before I left.
[Her confused look has reverted back the look of anger she had before. She slaps him hard splitting his lip, he wipes the blood away and looks down at the floor.]
Cantrell: I deserved that.
Phantasy: Yes! You did deserve it. Why would you say such a thing?
Cantrell: I don’t know honestly, I didn’t know you’d show up here, but that’s still no excuse. I shouldn’t have said it and I’m sorry.
Phantasy: I do not accept your apology! I am tired of hearing about you, talking about you, and seeing you. Just thinking about you angers me so I do not know why I do it so much.
[Cantrell grins wickedly.]
Cantrell: You still think about me?
Phantasy: GET OUT OF HERE!
[She attempts to slap him again but he grabs her wrist and pins her up against a row of lockers.]
Cantrell: No! Look we are in the public eye constantly and we have a past together. We’re gonna see each other and people are going to talk about us. I cared a lot about you and I still think about you a lot, way more than I should really. It’s obvious you still think about me too, hell you just said you did….
[He lowers his head and kisses her. After a rather passionate 10 second kiss he releases her arm and just turns around and walks out of the room. She sighs and sits back down on the bench and places her head in her hands looking as if she’s about to cry when Jason Duran who didn’t see Cantrell leave the room but notices that Phantasy looks a bit troubled taps on the open door.]
Duran: Phantasy are you ok?
Phantasy: Yes I am fine! What do you want?
Duran: I just wanted to ask you what you thought about the reintroduction of the Womens Championship into cWo?
[She stands up trying to compose herself.]
Phantasy: I think that it is a wonderful opportunity. I hope to be in contention for it.
Duran: Well the entire Womens Roster is scheduled to be in the ring for an announcement later on.
Phantasy: I am aware of this. That is why I am here since I do not have a match. I look forward to the announcement. Do you have any other questions I would really like to be alone?
Duran: No, not right now…
[Jason takes his thumb and wipes something off Phantasy’s lower lip and then looks at his thumb.]
Duran: Is that blood?
[She takes the back of her hand and wipes her mouth.]
Phantasy: No! I said I would like to be alone, please leave.
[Jason walks out and she slumps back down on the bench and begins to cry.]
Hart: So Cantrell has yellow fever huh?
Wilden: Shut up, Robbie. That was interesting to say the least.
Hart: What's with those two anyways? They dating?
Wilden: Whatever the relationship between them I think they'd prefer to keep it between them. I can respect that.
Hart: I can't. If I'm willing to kiss and tell after I date Mary-Joe then he should be ready to spill the beans on him and Phantasy!
Wilden: Well we're about to see Phantasy again as we're about to get the scoop on the Women's division! That's coming up next!
[When Driven comes back from commercial Phantasy is entering the ring. Already in the ring is Morgan Oliver, Mad Maddie, Jezebel and Evette. Phantasy and Evette stare daggers into eachother!]
Wilden: Welcome back, as you can see we have a bevy of young athletic beauties coming down to the ring!
Hart: None of them are as pretty as my LADY!
["Poem" by Taproot begins to play as Meghan Conklin makes her way out to the ring! She slaps hands with her fans as the ladies in the ring begin to look on guard.]
Wilden: And here is a girl who has been gaining quite the following from the cWo viewers. Do you hear the reaction Meghan Conklin gets nightly?
Hart: Meh, I find her highly over rated. The fans should be cheering for the ladies who are united with my girlfriend!
[As Meghan enters the ring, "Into the Darkness" begins to play over the P.A system. Mary-Joe Wolf leads Chastity McGavin and Jen Diamon down to the ring. Chastity and Diamond don't even acknowlege eachother.]
Wilden: It is quite obvious that these two ladies are having issues with eachother! It seems that they blame eachother for the loss at Slam in the Sand. After Mad Maddie's betrayal on the ladies, Jen thinks Chastity should have towed the line and have not gotten caught off guard. And Chastity... well... she doesn't ever seem happy!
Hart: But you are missing the most important part! I HAVE A DATE!
Wilden: Yes, we know! Thanks to that I am going to be stuck out here with Pilchard next week!
Hart: Yes, Tony Awesome has really made to make it a perfect night. He gave me the night off and is letting a camera crew following us... for all to watch.
Wilden: And laugh!
[Mary-Joe enters the ring with Diamond and Chastity following, as their music dies down. Mary-Joe asks for a mic as they are greeted in a chorus of BOOS!]
Mary-Joe: I am glad all of you are here to watch a historic moment in cWo history! After years of divisions dedicated to light weights, tag titles, and television, we have triumphed! Because of the sacrifices I made, you ladies finally have a title all of your own! So, I expect Tony Awesome to come out here and do the right thing! Hand us the title, my ladies are the only reason there is a woman's title in the cWo! If Chastity McGavin didn't exist, none of you would be in this company! If there was no Jen Diamond, there would be no opening for Chastity McGavin to come in! You ladies and you fans, owe us a great deal of respect and Tony Awesome owes us a title.
[Mary-Joe looks around.]
Mary-Joe: Sure, we suffered a loss last night due to miscommunication and turncoat...
[Mary-Joe looks over at Maddie.]
Mary-Joe: But we have re-grouped AND ARE ON THE SAME PAGE!
[Mary-Joe then looks over at a guilty Chastity and Jen Diamond grabs the mic from Mary-Joe]
Diamond: That is correct! We have eachother's backs! You will not see anymore flaws between me and Chastity! No more losses and NO MORE ROOKIE MISTAKES!
[Chastity gets in Diamond's face and slaps the microphone out of her hand. The two girls have a stare down as Mary-Joe gets in the way, trying to calm them down. Suddenly, Maddie steps in and grabs the microphone!]
Maddie: Yep, on the same page huh? Looks like you two dumbasses will kill each other before getting a chance to win the title. Not that it matters, I'm the queen bitch in this organization and I'm soon going to take my throne. All of you have these special looking moves, but I can just straight up beat the crap out of you and...
Wilden: Why do we allocate time each week? It is all just screeching!
Hart: Yeah, after Sunday, I can't tolerate!
[Meghan Conklin stpes in and grabs teh microphone from Maddie!
Meghan Conklin: Well Maddie, that's all well and good, but I honestly have my doubts you'll be able to stay away from the bar long enough to even get a shot at the title. But anyway, I think I deserve the first crack at the title not for myself, but for all the little girls out there with dreams of their own. I want to get a shot at that belt for them to prove that dreams really do come true.
[Evette is wearing a tight black leather mini skirt and a white tight tank top that reads "Glamorous." She walks up and grabs the mic out of Conklin's hands!]
Evette: Why even give Meghan Conklin an opportunity. If she won the Women's title, she would take the gold plate off the belt, trade it in for money, and adopt a thousand kids a day for her "random act of Kindness." The truth is, I am the only choice to hold the women's title as I am the only true lady in the cWo. The rest of these girls are low down disgusting slut's and tomboys. I can hold the Women's title with grace and elegance!
[Phantasy has heard enough, and demands that Evette pass over the mic. Evette rolls her eyes as it is handed to Phantasy!]
Phantasy: I came to cWo to wrestle against the best women wrestlers in the world and I am surrounded by them right now, except for Evette. She is a gold digger and a cheater. I deserve a chance at the Womens Title much more than she does. I am unaware of how the title will be decided but I would like to contend for it. I may be the smallest lady in the ring right now but I think I have proved over the last several weeks that I can compete with people MUCH larger than me, right Evette? Do not answer we all know you lie about your weight. But please Mr. Awesome at least consider giving me a shot at the only reason I came to America.
[Phantasy is interrupted by Morgan Oliver!]
Morgan: Aww, isn't that sweet? Such a little girl with such delusions of grandier? Face it, hun, if anyone in this ring deserves to be Women's Champion, it's me. I'm not hear claiming to start a "revolution", or because I'm a rich loud mouth, waiting out their probation period and I'm not here because I just so happen to have an ex-boyfriend on the roster. I'm here for one reason--to dominate. To make each and every one of you tap out. And to have gold around my waist.
[Suddenly, Jezebel pushes Morgan aside, as most of the ladies stand back. The only two that stand near her are Chastity and Diamond!]
Jezebel: Morgan, do us all a favor and as these filthy Americans say... shut your cakehole. The only reason I want that belt is to prove that I am, by far, the most sadistic and deranged person to ever hold gold in this company because I believe that she who has the gold will make the rules.
Wilden: Wow, strong words from all of these ladies. They equally want that title... too bad only ONE can walk away with it!
Hart: If only Mary-Joe was in the running, she would be holding that title!
["Crawling" by Linkin Park plays as Tony Awesome appears on the rampway with the Women's title in his arms. All the women turn their attention towards him as he holds the microphone up!]
Wilden: Thank god, Awesome is here to make sense of everything!
Hart: He is going to award the title to the Estrogen Uprising!
Wilden: Hardly!
Tony "Totally" Awesome: Ladies, ladies, I'm feeling alot of hostility between all of you! I know that you all want this! But you are going to need to be corgial with eachother, so I can speak! So please quiet down! Chastity stay how you are!
[Chastity shrugs as the ladies stay quiet!]
Tony "Totally" Awesome: Now, I know what you are thinking! "Tony Awesome is going to put us in a tournament to win this title!" Sorry, but you are guessing wrong. The last tournament we had was the biggest flop in cWo history thanks to Andrew Fiasco. So... no, that is not how you are going to compete for the title! The first holder of the cWo Women's title will be decided on September 14 at "Eye of the Storm" in an eight woman gauntlet match!
Wilden: Wow! I was expecting a tournament or a battle royal, but a gauntlet works too!
Hart: I don't know about this decision, it depends on where the Estrogen Uprising is placed and if they are guaranteed their rightful win!
[The women in the ring look confused!]
Tony "Totally" Awesome: So you are probably wondering why I had you out here dressed to wrestle if the match for the title isn't until "Eye of the Storm?" And you are smart for wondering that. As you know in a gauntlet match, your place in that match is incredibly important for your chances of winning. So over the next four weeks, you are going to be fighting for your "SPOT" as a friend of mine might say! Each Thursday you are going to be involved in contests for points that will decide your placement in the match! The person with the most points by "Eye of the Storm" will be the last entrant, the person with the least will be the first! If there is a tie or ties then it will be decided by the flip of the coin! But while, my job is to have the best woman win, I also want people to watch Driven... I want to make sure they are happy. That is why after each Driven, a poll will go up on cWo.com where the fans will get to vote on the woman they were most impressed with. The winner of each week's poll will be awarded two extra points!
Wilden: I actually like that! It's creative and it puts alot of the control in the fans hands!
Hart: Yes, but will the fans vote for the people that deserve to win like Chastity or Evette?
Wilden: I just don't see that happening, but you never know!
[Chastity, Evette, Diamond and Jezebel all look displeased while Meghan and Phantasy look very happy. Morgan and Maddie seem to be indifferent!]
Tony "Totally" Awesome: But as far as tonight is concerned, you are being given a chance to earn those points. Because right now, we are going to have a BATTLE ROYAL!
Hart: WHAT?
Wilden: Big impromptu match just signed by Tony Awesome! All of our female competitors in a battle royal match!
[Everyone looks at eachother already on guard to fight. Mary-Joe hops out of the ring very quickly!]
Tony "Totally" Awesome: The reward is one point for every girl you eliminate! The last person in the ring will be awarded an additional two points! BUT... the first girl to be eliminated will be taken completely out of the running!
Wilden: Wow, that is quite the competition, but one of these ladies is not going to be competeting out EOTS!
Hart: That is horrible! Unless Conklin and Phantasy are kicked out!
[Tony Awesome looks around and then continues!]
Tony "Totally" Awesome: And one more thing, we have a last minute entrant into this contest. Making her cWo debut right here, Lana Lexington!
[From the entrance way behind Tony “Totally” Awesome enters a dirty blonde haired female in sweatpants and a black. cWo Slam in the Sand t-shirt. As she makes her way down to the ring, another screen shows up in the corner with the tag “EARLIER TODAY”. Lana Lexington in Tony “Totally” Awesome’s office pleading with him]
Lana Lexington: Look, Uncle Tony, i've stood by for too long watching my brothers get to run for their dreams. You know mom and dad were always over-protective of me. But everything I did, I did for them. I'm tired of it. I'm 21 now and i'm going after what I want!
Tony "Totally" Tony "Totally" Awesome: Do they even know you're here?
Lana Lexington: No. Why should they? They can find out on their own. I just need a shot, Uncle Tony! I know I shouldn't be asking for favors, but can you do me one, just this once? Let me prove myself!
[Tony "Totally" Awesome stops and thinks to himself for a moment. He looks back at his young niece]
Lana Lexington: Please?
[She pouts and bats her eyelashes. Tony "Totally" Awesome smiles and shakes his head]
Tony "Totally" Tony "Totally" Awesome: First of all, if you're going to do this, it's "Mr. Awesome" to you...
[The screen fades out as Lana is in the ring and the match begins]
Wilden: Nepotism still running rampant in cWo as it seems Tony “Totally” Awesome’s niece is now a member of our roster.
Hart: The girl seems way over her head! I’d be surprised to see her last in there for more than a couple minutes!
Ding Ding Ding
[The bell rings as Tony steps away holding the women's title! All eight women begin to trade blows Phantasy and Evette trade slaps! Chastity and Diamond begin pounding on Maddie and then Morgan Oliver! And Jezebel and Conklin continue their rivalry! Lana Lexington just looks a bit confused as the ladies fight around her!]
Wilden: As the ladies who have been at this a little bit longer fight amongst themselves, it seems like the rookie Lana Lexington is a bit overwhelmed!
Hart: Yeah, she better hope she doesn't run into chastity during this!
Wilden: Chastity hits Morgan with a release dragon while Jen puts Maddie in a torture rack! Meanwhile, Evette with a running bull dog to Phantasy and Jezebel with a spinning fisherman's suplex to Meghan Conklin!
[Suddenly, Jezebel is hit with a leg drop by Lexington!]
Wilden: Wow, that was quite ballsy of Tony "Totally" Awesome's niece!
Hart: Yeah, now she is going to get violently beat by Jezebel!
Wilden: Meanwhile, Chastity nails Morgan with a bicycle kick! And Diamond nails Maddie with a german suplex! Jezebel gives chase to Lana, who runs into Evette, Evette looks back and slaps her across the face and both are taken down by Jezebel charging with a clothesline on Lana that sends Evette down! But Phantasy with a real quick spring board DDT onto Jezebel!
Hart: This is chaotic, Lance! I think they should team up on Phantasy for that!
Wilden: With Morgan and Maddie down Jen and Chastity stare down at eachother! But once they turn back around they get taken down by a double clothesline from Meghan Conklin! But Conklin turns around just in time to get knocked back with a flip over neck breaker by Phantasy! BUT PHANTASY TAKE DOWN WITH A HUGE SPEAR BY MADDIE! But Maddie turns around just in time to get hit with a double arm ddt from Morgan!
Hart: Wow, these girls are like dominos!
[The ladies all slowly get up and then suddenly look over at Diamond and Chastity and then eachother. Suddenly, the ring is divided with Chastity and Diamond on one side and Lana, Conklin, Maddie, Morgan, Jezebel, Phantasy and Evette!]
Hart: No! Mary-Joe looks really worried, and so am I!
Wilden: It seemed like the non-Estrogen Uprising members realized that if they get at least ONE of these ladies out, then the odds will be better for each one of them! AND HERE THEY COME!
[The rest of the ladies charge at Chastity and Jen! They are drowned with punches, chops and kicks from the ladies! Phantasy, Lana, Conklin and Maddie are lifting Chastity over the tope rope as Evette, Jezebel and Morgan have her in the same position on the other side!]
Wilden: It looks like we are not going to see Chastity and Jen in for much longer!
Hart: Why are you so negative?
Wilden: AND CHASTITY IS TOSSED OVER!
Hart: YES! But she catches herself Lance!
[Chastity lands on apron and starts throwing punches on Phantasy and then Conklin, then Lana and then she Maddie's head into the turnbuckle! Suddenly, Chastity bounces up and then spring boards off the rope!]
Wilden: BRA BURNER ON ALL FOUR LADIES! Chastity saves her ass, but can she save Jen? A better question is, does she care to save Jen?
Hart: They are teammates, of course they are going to try to save eachother!
Wilden: And Chastity shrugs and throws rights and lefts on Morgan then Jezebel, then Evette! Diamond falls back down, as the triple team begins on Chastity! But Diamond, back up and now she goes to save her team mate! German suplex to Jezebel, running STO from Chastity to Evette! A kick to the gut from Chastity to Morgan, and then a scoop slam from Diamond! AND DIAMOND SCOOP SLAMS MORGAN OVER THE TOP AND SHE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED FOR GOOD! And Jen Diamond gets a point!
Hart: I knew that the Estrogen Uprising would get the first elimination! Sadly the elimination that takes Morgan out of the running!
Wilden: Once again, Diamond and Chastity have a stare down, but it is interrupted by the attacking Conklin and Phantasy! Phantasy delivers a dragon screw leg whip to Diamond while Chastity gets hit with a running neck breaker from Meghan Conklin and the fans are going crazy!
Hart: And I still don't get it!
Wilden: And it looks like the newbie, Lana Lexington has finally gotten caught by Jezebel! Jezebel with a brutal buzzsaw kick to Lexington! Meanwhile Evette with a big boot to the face of Evette! Phantasy with a dropsault to Jen Diamond! And Conklin with a snapmare dropkick on Chastity! And split legged moonsault to Lexington from Jezebel! But Jezebel immediately hit with a cross body by Mad Maddie. Unfortunately, Jezebel catches her! AND TOSSES HER OVER THE TOP ROPE AND ONTO THE GROUND!
Hart: I think I'm happy with that... although I'm not sure! I like her too though... I'm so torn!
Wilden: Well, either way, she is out with zero points and Jezebel scores herself one! BUT JEZEBEL TURNS AROUND TO GET HIT BY hurricanrana by Lana! Meanwhile, Jen tosses Phantasy onto the top rope and then grabs Conklin with Chastity and the two perform a double side russian leg sweep on Conklin! But Evette with a bulldog to Chastity! But that is followed by a german suplex from Diamond! But Evette with a bulldog to Diamond! But then a cravate buster from Chastity to Evette!
Hart: You gotta love my girlfriends ... uh... girlfriends strategy!
Wilden: Jezebel with an irish whip to Lana Lexington! Lana ducks a clothesline! Hits the ropes, Jezebel bounces off with incredible might charging at Lana... AND LANA PULLS DOWN THE ROPES! JEZEBEL HITS THE GROUND! Wow, I didn't not expect Lana to score ANY points! What a showing!
Hart: NO! Who does she think she is?
Wilden: Apparently she thinks she is a wrestler and apparently, a diamond in the rough!
Hart: She got lucky!
Wilden: Time will tell! But Lana doesn't have time to celebrate because here comes Evette with a northern lights suplex! Meanwhile, Chastity and Jen are trying to toss Conklin over the top rope, but she is holding on! This girl has such great will power!
Hart: She is going to loose anyways, she should just let go!
Wilden: Meanwhile, Evette with a half nelson slam to Lana! Evette lifts her over the ropes, but Lana fights back! But Evette doesn't notice Phantasy sneaking in behind her! Phantasy lifts up Evette by her legs! Evette can't do anything! But this does give her leverage to take loosen Lana's grip!
[Lana loses her grip and begins to fall off, BUT SHE PULLS EVETTE DOWN WITH HER!
Hart: No way!
Wilden: Yes way! Both ladies have been taken out! I'm guessing Evette gets the point for eliminating Lana, while Phantasy gets the point for elminating Evette!
[Phantasy turns around to notice Chastity in one corner, Jen in the other on one side and the Conklin across from her!]
Wilden: And we are down to the final four! Chastity McGavin, Jen Diamond, Meghan Conklin, and Phantasy!
Hart: Conklin and Phantasy are in so much trouble!
[Conklin and Phantasy look back at eachother and towards Jen and Chastity and the two sides charge towards eachother!]
Wilden: Conklin and Diamond begin trading blows Phantasy attacks Chastity but Chastity catches her and slams her down with a neckbreaker across the knee! Conklin with an inverted backbreaker to Diamond! And now Chastity and Conklin lock up, Chastity overpowers her and irish whips her into the ropes! Chastity then nails her with running shoulder block!
Hart: I think there is no doubt that Chastity is going to win this!
[Suddenly, Jen Diamond is getting to her feet! Chastity runs up from behind to attack but Diamond turns around and catches her!]
Wilden: Uh-oh! It looks like Chastity was trying to stab Jen in the back!
Hart: Hogwash!
Wilden: Phantasy spring boards off the ropes and nails Diamond with hurricanrana! Right after words, Meghan hits Chastity with the Meghan go round as well! Phantasy and Conklin lift their opponents up and Irish whip them into eachother! Then both from the corner hit a handspring elbow on their perspective opponents. And now Phantasy with a flipping legdrop onto the chest of Chastity and Conklin with a moonsault on Diamond! These two are working really well together!
Hart: Not as good as Chastity and Jen do on a normal basis! They are just going through a rocky point in their relationship! HEY... Do you think that they are actually like... uh girlfriends!
Wilden: Not on your life... Mary-Joe on the other hand...
Hart: Youi take that back!
[Conklin and Phantasy go to shake hands and then they split ways... BUT Phantasy grabs Conklin and irish whips her into the ropes! Conklin flips over and hits the apron! Phantasy bounces off the ropes and attacks, but Conklin pulls down the ropes and uses Phantasy's speed to elevate her over the rope and onto the ground!]
Wilden: And Phantasy goes for the double cross and it ends up screwing her! Conklin with the point now!
[As Conklin gets back into the ring, she realizes that she is surrounded by Chastity and Jen Diamond!]
Wilden: And Conklin now realizes her mistake as she is surrounded by The Estrogen Uprising!
Hart: And my date for next Thursday is happy!
[Mary-Joe stands at ringside with a frown on her face!]
Wilden: And Chastity charges at Conklin with a western lariat, but Conklin ducks but gets taken down with a headscissors take down into fujiwara armbar! Jen breaks the armbar and lifts her up, but Conklin hits her with an enziguri! But now Chastity from behind with a cut throat neckbreaker! This is followed by a bxb DDT!
Hart: Chastity is just playing with Conklin now! She wants to have fun before eliminating her!
Wilden: And Chastity whips Conklin to Jen and Diamond lands a piledriver on Conklin! And Diamond and Chastity drag Conklin over to the rope! AND THEY DO IT! THEY KNOCK OVER CONKLIN!
Hart: Yes, at least the Estrogen uprising goes into these contests in the lead!
[Jen Diamond and Chastity stare eachother down! But Conklin the camera focuses on Conklin... who is dangling over the floor but doesn't have her feet on it! She pulls her self back up to the apron! Chastity smirks Conklin appears back on the apron and Jen has her back turned towards the ropes!]
Hart: What? I thought Conklin was eliminated!
Wilden: Nope, it looks like she managed to hang on! But Jen Diamond seems to be in trouble and why isn't Chastity warning her! AND CONKLIN GRABS DIAMOND FROM THE APRON! Diamond struggles, but Chastity refuses to help! And even Mary-Joe is yelling at Chastity who is still smirking! I have never seen her smirk like that!
Hart: THIS ISN'T HAPPENING! THIS ISN'T HAPPENING! THEY AREN'T FALLING APART!
[Conklin then turns the manuever into the tarantula! Chastity just stands there!]
Wilden: And Conklin turns it into a submission and it seems that Chastity is letting it happen!
Hart: She knows that Jen can handle it on her own!
[And Conklin breaks the hold but manages to turn herself up side down and wrap her legs around Diamond's neck! Diamond is lifted off the mat and flips over the ropes!]
Wilden: And Conklin scores ANOTHER point in this battle royal! And it seems like Chastity just let it happen!
Hart: NO SHE DIDN'T!!!
[Conklin gets back in the ring, but Chastity is already on her with a high angle belly to back suplex!]
Wilden: And not a surprise that Chastity took the last couple seconds to rest up while Jen Diamond was taken out! Chastity picks Conklin back up, but Conklin fights it and reverses into a double arm DDT!
Hart: That is an awful thing to do!
Wilden: A wrestling move is an awful thing to do!
Hart: YEs, it is a woman on woman hate crime!
Wilden: Conklin grabs Chastity and irish whips her into the ropes! Chastity hits the ropes and Conklin charges! Chastity ducks and pulls the ropes down and once again Conklin goes over! BUT LANDS ON THE APRON!
Hart: Why won't she just go away?
[With Conklin on the apron, Chastity nails her in the cranium with a yakuza kick and Conklin goes flying off the apron and onto the ground below! The bell rings and "Into the Darkness" plays!]
Wilden: And that's it folks, Chastity McGavin wins the battle royal earning three points! Morgan has been eliminated from the contest, Maddie has zero points, Conklin has two, and the rest have one each! And don't forget to vote on the polls who you think should get the extra two points!
Hart: I told you everything would work out! Chastity is in the lead! THat is the way it should be!
Dixon: AND HERE IS YOUR WINNER AND LEADING WITH THREE POINTS: Chastity McGavin!
[Mary-Joe joins Chastity in ring to celebrate but Diamond walks in looking steamed!]
Wilden: We saw this the other day! Chastity and Jen are not happy with eachother and Chastity refusing to bail Diamond just adds to it!
Hart: But look at Mary-Joe, she is trying to contain them!
[Chastity pushes Jen back and hops out of the ring! Mary-Joe and Jen stand in the middle of the ring staring at Chastity who doesn't even look back]
Wilden: We gotta take a break before things get out of control!
["Living in the Sunlight, Loving in the moonlight plays and the crowd boos loudly anticpating the arrival of Heretic.]
Wilden: And we're back folks. And here he comes, the new cWo World Champion!
Hart: And one we can be proud of!
Wilden: Fans, it's amazing to see how the mood has changed in just the few short days since Heretic claimed the World Title. It feels like all the postive momentum here has just hit a brick wall. I have to tell you, NOBODY is happy to see Heretic as the champion!
Hart: I am! And if you knew what was good for you, you would be too!
[The crowd's booing intensifies as Heretic steps out from behind the entrance curtain. He holds the cWo World Title in his hand, almost dragging it behind him. The gold plates of the belt have been painted completely black.]
Wilden: Did he..... he painted the title black! He's desecrated the World Title!
Hart: Desecrated... or made better?
Wilden: Shut up Hart!
[Heretic climbs into the ring, holds up the blackened cWo title, then drops it onto the mat. He then motions for the microphone, and it's handed to him by Donna Dixon.]
Heretic: I told him. I warned him. I made it CRYSTAL CLEAR what he was going to have to BECOME! But Andy? Andy wasn't ready to EVOLVE. He wasn't ready to shed his false image, his MORTAL COIL! He wasn't ready to do what it takes! So, I took away the ONLY thing that was important to him... and now, now he'll realize what he should be. He'll realize what his true nature is... I SAVED Andy! But now.. now the REAL FUN begins! I've said all along that gold doesn't mean anything to me.. it's shiny, it's artificial, it hurts my eyes.. so I dulled it, I took it's luster, it's value. But now I wonder, is it still as valuable? Will the wrestlers of cWo still sell out what they believe to compete for this... this NOTHING?
Wilden: That's STILL the highest title in this business!
Hart: Everyone wants GOLD, Lance, and it's not gold!
Heretic: But friends, I've been thinking. I was pondering my new position, and I had a moment of clarity. You see, friends, the BELT doesn't matter.... the champion doesn't MATTER, ALL THAT MATTERS is what people will do to get the belt! Well, the question now is who in cWo will do what it takes? Who is cWo is a better man than Andy Phillips? Who's a better man than Muru? Who will actually make GOOD on their word? I no longer have to find my toys.. now, my toys will come to me.
Wilden: His toys?! These are human beings he's talking about!
Hart: I don't think he cares.
Heretic: I did break my last three toys, though.
[The lights go our as the Voice of Johnny Serious comes over the sound system and says "Are You SERIOUS." An orange light turns on in the arena as the song "Elevation" by U2 plays. Johnny Serious makes his way out, holding his left side. He has a bandage on his forehead as the crowd goes wild!]
Wilden: Folks, he took quite the beating at Slam in the Sand, but came out on top, and I think he answered Heretic's call.
Hart: Shouldn't this man be in the hospital? He may have beat Nick Dangerous on a technicality.
Wilden: Technicality? Serious took Dangerous to the limits and then scored a clean pinfall.
Hart: Either way, Serious is not deserving of a World Title shot!
Johnny Serious: ARE YOU SERIOUS???????
[The crowd goes wild]
Johnny Serious: You want a toy to play with? This ain't no preschool dude, so if you want to wrestle with the big boys, then you SERIOUSLY need to smarten up!
Hart: Is he crazy. Does he know who he is talking too!
Johnny Serious: Now obviously you witnessed what I had had to become to defeat someone like Nick Dangerous. I pushed my body to the limits. I pushed my soul to the limits. I became something I thought I would never be. And it wasn't for the cWo World Title. I want to take this time to apoligize to all of the cWo fans. My fans. The ones who had to sit back and watch what I had to do but I can not apoligize for the outcome. I told Nick Dangerous that it would get REAL SERIOUS, REAL FAST. And it did. And I have no regrets. Nick Dangerous got what was coming to him.
Hart: You tried to murder him!!
Wilden: It was a street fight Robbie! And I know that Nick would have gone to even further lenths to beat Johnny if it had come to that.
Johnny Serious: Though I do apoligize for my actions on Sunday, I can not make anymore promises that I will not repeat those actions. That match brought something out of me that I can not put back. But if we want to go back in the past, we can all remember a time when I held the cWo World Title. And since I lost the title I never had the full opportunity to get it back. After last Sunday at Slam in the SAND I think I EARNED an opportunity at the world title. You know the meaning of EARN don't you. And for me, I don't care about the GOLD. I don't care about the value. For, it's about being the BEST in the cWo. You want a toy to play with Heretic, then wind me up and toss me in the ring and lets do this! Even if it's only been a few days and I am a bit banged up, I welcome the opportunity! And if you SERIOUSLY want the match that you couldn't get out of Andrew Phillips, well, I can give just as good as I take! So what do you say. JOHNNY SERIOUS vs HERETIC, for the cWo WORLD TITLE, TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!
[The crowd stands on their feet and go crazy for the thought of that match]
[Heretic laughs, bringing on boos from the crowd.]
Heretic: YOU?! HA! You think that just because you managed to finally beat the living hell out of your long time tormentor, that makes you ready? To be honest, John Boy, I need an INTERESTING toy, and so far, there isn't ANYONE in cWo who interests me. In fact, there's only one man in cWo who has shown any sort of potential... and it's not you. You're better off staying how you are now. You're better off with these...people... your "fans." You don't want to go where I'll take you. Ask Muru. Ask Andrew Phillips. Ask Chazz Mendel. Hell, fly out to LA and talk to Mr. "Legend" himself.. they'll all tell you the same thing, John Boy, you're SERIOUSLY NOT READY!
["Living in the Sunlight, Loving in the Moonlight" plays and the crowd boos as Heretic laughs, while Serious stands in the entrance ramp and continues to stare him down.]
Wilden: Well folks, it seems like Johnny Serious was the one to answer Heretic's challenge.... but I don't think Heretic accepted!
Hart: Best thing to ever happen to Johnny Serious!
Wilden: I've never known Serious to back down from a challenge, and I don't think he's gonna start now! We've got to take a quick commercial break! We'll be back with more Driven right after this, our last commercial break of the evening!
Hart: Lance?
Wilden: Robbie.
Hart: It's time for our MAAAAAAAAAIN EVENT!
Wilden: I can tell you're excited.
Hart: Nick Dangerous, back on Driven, first time in months!
DING DING DING
Benson: The following match is our main event! And is scheduled for one fall!
[The lights flicker on and off a couple of times before cutting to complete black. The screen then flashes the words "Your New Drug Of Choice". We then begin to hear the sounds of "Drug Of Choice" by 10 Years. The lights begin to flash with a red tint to the beat of the song. Raymond Jacobson walks out alongside Chris Michaels wearing his black pleather tights with a red RJ logo on both sides, and his black wrestling boots. He smirks as we get a good view of his face. Dark sunglasses cover his eyes as he looks into the camera. He then continues to walk down the ramp.]
Benson: First, entering the ring, weighing in at two hundred and thirty one pounds, he hails from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Raymond Jaaaaaacobsoooooon!
Hart: Michaels has no idea what he's getting himself into. Did he see Nick Dangerous last week? Does he honestly think he can compete?
Wilden: I think he's begging to find out. In fact earlier today when John Pilchard sounded his ignorant opinions made reference to a conversation that took place between the two of them. Check out what happened earlier today.
[We are taken aside to a backstage segment where Tony Awesome and Chris Michaels are in mid conversation.]
HotShot: So let me get this straight. I lay a finger on Pilchard or Dangerous then not only can I not get my job back as a competitor, I can't keep my job as a journalist either?
Tony "Totally" Awesome: Look Michaels I'm really sorry. Pilchard, like him or not did a really good thing for me, so I owe him this.
HotShot: I owe those guys something else all together. I'm going out with Jacobson tonight anyways.
Tony "Totally" Awesome: I don't care, just...well you know the rules.
[We return to ringside as we see Chris Michaels spouting words of encouragement to Jacobson.]
Hart: Tony Awesome may show shades of turning to the dark side, but he's still a shrewd businessman.
Wilden: It's Johnny Serious and Nick Dangerous all over again, Pilchard is trying to protect Dangerous.
["Fanfare for the Common Man" hits the PA system. The trumpets play for the the song as the intro builds drawing boos from the crowd in anticipation of the entrance of Nick Dangerous. Nick Dangerous slowly emerges down the aisle, wearing a yellow and green color schemed robe, which we see underneath a green tanktop with the Nick Dangerous logo on the chest in yellow, and retouched green and yellow ring tights over the legs. He's also wearing what looks like a dark green ski mask with a glow in the dark yellow Dangerous skull logo over the face as he walks down, as well as dark green elbow pads, and dark green gloves that reach halfway up his forearms.]
Benson: And his opponent, weighing in at two hundred and forty five pounds. Hailing from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. He is Nick Daaaaaangerouuuuus!
Hart: You gotta admit this new Nick Dangerous is frightening.
Wilden: Last sunday he showed a ruthlessness that I never expected, he's always been ruthless, but this was something else. Biting, digging his elbows into bone, if it were anyone but Serious then his opponent would have been in a lot of trouble. But Raymond Jacobson, he went through hell too, and showed that he can take a beating. And both men are showing signs, especially Nick the way he's limping to the ring.
[Meanwhile Dangerous makes it to the stairs, while John Pilchard is seen seveal meters behind him.]
Hart: That's just how he walks!
Wilden: And why's Pilchard walking so far behind Dangerous?
Hart: I don't know, where do these questions come from Lance?
Wilden: I'm just thinking Pilchard might be afraid of Chris Michaels despite Tony Awesome's rule.
[Nick enters the ring through the middle and top rope calmly as he quickly takes off his mask and tosses it aside, revealing his face as he meets Raymond Jacobson in the center of the ring, Raymond whispers something to Michaels behind him, and Michaels goes to get Raymond Jacobson a mic, which is handed to him from senior announcer Mic Benson, then handed to Jacobson, as Jacobson doesn't lose eye contact with Dangerous.]
Jacobson: So you think that you are some thing don't you. I respect the fact that you are a veteran here in cWo. But that doesn't mean I am going to respect you. And I heard the comments from Pilchard earlier and to tell you the truth, I have done nothing more but prove all the critics wrong week in and week out. And I am going to do it again this week.
[Jacobson stops as the crowd roars in admiration of Jacobson.]
Jacobson: And there is a group still running around here in CWO called the WGL. And those goons are going to find out that Raymond Jacobson is not the man you want to mess with. So realize one thing, I am just like a drug. In fact, I AM YOUR NEW DRUG OF CHOICE! Get used to it because there is no Rehab to this addiction! Now ring the bell so I can dismantle this "weapon."
[The crowd roars once more as Jacobson throws the microphone out of the ring.]
DING DING DING
[As the bell sounds Raymond Jacobson levels Nick Dangerous with a barrage of forearms.]
Wilden: Raymond Jacobson not to be taken lightly, he's gotta be sore all over but that's no concern to him tonight. Tonight's about making a statement!
Hart: If his statement is "I'm worse than Nick Dangerous!"
Wilden: His statement is that he's not afraid of anyone in the cWo, no matter how much of a bully they might be.
[Nick pushes Raymond Jacobson away, freeing him some time to recuperate as Raymond Jacobson without relent takes Dangerous down.]
Wilden: Thesz press! Raymond's showing a lot of fire tonight!
Hart: It won't be enough!
[Jacobson tries to throw a right hand, but Nick catches it, as he pushes the arm down to the mat trying for a Dangerous Armbar.]
Hart: DANGEROUS ARMBAR! DANGEROUS ARMBAR!
Wilden: He rolls out of it!
[Jacobson quickly gets to his feet, Nick a little slower with his bad legs, before he makes it up Jacobson stings Nick with right and left low kicks.]
Wilden: You hear the snapping sound of leather on skin? That's Jacobson kicking the muscle from Nick's legs!
Hart: Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Stop doing that Raymond!
[Nick falls to his knees as Jacobson hammerlocks Nick's arm over his back.]
Wilden: He's going for the Iron City DDT!
Hart: No he isn't!
[Nick yelps out a pained scream as he tries to back body drop Raymond Jacobson, but Jacobson rolls over his back and lands on his feet.]
Hart: He's like a monkey!
[Nick takes a blind swing as he swings backwards with a knife edge chop, Raymond ducks it as he hits a basement dropkick to the knees of Dangerous.]
Wilden: He said he was gonna dismantle "The Weapon" and he's doing it! Very smart strategy by Jacobson.
[Nick is on his hands and knees as Jacobson hits the ropes, on rebound Nick makes it up to his feet in a boost of adrenaline as he hoists catches Jacobson on return.]
Hart: That'll put him out!
Wilden: Vicious backbreaker by Nick Dangerous!
[Jacobson rolls around the ring in serious pain as Chris Michaels shouts "c'mon kid!"]
Wilden: Michaels showing one hundred percent dedication to Jacobson getting his moment tonight. But it looks like Nick rekindled some old pains from last Sunday. Nick's hobbling like his legs could be giving out at any second. Nick now with a pin.
ONE
Wilden: Close to a two but not quite.
[Nick sits Jacobson up as he grabs his hands, pulls back with his foot on his back.]
Hart: You think he hasn't wrestled under these conditions before?
Wilden: Last time he was under these conditions he made Johnny Serious wrestle his matches.
Hart: Well Pilchard said this is a different Nick Dangerous and it's time you understand that.
Wilden: Just the fact that he's out here deserves a little respect I'll admit. Nick really striking a familiar cord with Jacobson now with that surfboard stretch.
Hart: It could be over right now!
[Chris Michaels starts stamping his hands on the mat in support of Jacobson as the fans clap along.]
Hart: Does this ever work?
Wilden: What?
Hart: These fans, clapping, does it ever help anything?
Wilden: The sound of thousands of fans cheering you on could certainly give a confidence boost. You wouldn't know anything about that.
Hart: Well looks like Jacobson's not going anywhere!
[Jacobson shakes his hands, keeping the circulation in his arms flowing as best as he can as the fans support has an effect on him.]
Wilden: Jacobson is not gonna let it end this way!
[Raymond makes it to his feet as Nick's teeth grit and his eyes squint pushing trying to push Jacobson's arms as close together from behind him as possible.]
Wilden: Jacobson's to his feet! Find the ropes Raymond! Reverse the hold..Jacobson with a kangaroo kick! Nice work Raymond!
[Nick backs into the turnbuckle as Raymond struggles to his feet, nursing his back, but Jacobson casts the pain aside to take a running leap towards Dangerous.]
Wilden: What a monkey flip! Sending Nick half across the ring!
Hart: Monkey flip, kangaroo kick, is this a Steve Irwin memorial match or something?
Wilden: Whatever it is I like it, I'm feeling good for Jacobson right now.
[Jacobson jerks his elbow up and down as he starts stamping his feet in anticipation of Nick's recovery.]
Wilden: Jacobson roaring! He's amped up! It's hard to believe what he went through four days ago!
Hart: He'll never forget, war is hell Lance.
[Nick gets up Raymond dashes after him as he spins around for a tornado forearm.]
Wilden: And a forearm-no!
Hart: DANGEROUS ARMBAR!
[Nick hooks Raymond for a Dangerous Armbar, but Raymond refuses to go down to the mat.]
Wilden: No...no not quite!..
[Nick then pounds his elbow down on Raymond's shoulder multiple times.]
Wilden: Nick pounding away at that arm, but Raymond knows the risk if he gets locked in that vicious armbar!
[Nick hammerlocks Raymond's arm behind him and delivers a back suplex.]
Wilden: Nick suplexing Raymond on that arm instead!
[Raymond rolls around feeling the effects of the suplex, as he rolls onto his stomache Nick uses the opportunity to cinch in the Dangerous Armbar.]
Hart: It's over Lance!
Wilden: He's got it locked! But not in good position, Raymond has the ropes!
[Nick gets to his feet, pulling at Raymond's arm, trying to get him off the ropes, but he falls to a seated position, his legs not able to pull.]
Wilden: Raymond playing a smart game, the longer this goes on you know the harder it's gonna be for Dangerous to walk.
Hart: He's going for it anyway!
Wilden: Nick back on with the Dangerous Armbar!
[Raymond screams in pain as he hooks his arm over the ropes, clenching his fists as referee Johnny Williams counts to four before Nick releases the hold.]
Wilden: Nick seeing how much damage that armbar can do in four seconds.
[Nick then goes back to Jacobson, lifting his neck over the ropes, pushing down on the back of his head as he delivers forearms to the back of his head right in front of Michaels, all the while Nick looks at Michaels with a grim look on his face saying "you wanna hit me old timer? C'mon, right in the mouth!" Johnny counts to five again.]
Wilden: This is against the rules! Stop it Johnny!
[Nick releases the hold again at four.]
Hart: I think that's the first time we've heard Nick utter any words since his return!
Wilden: It used to be impossible to get him to shut up!
[Nick casts Jacobson aside as he leans his arms on the second rope looking down at Michaels, looking sternly at him while Pilchard goads him from beside him, "go on, get physically involved! Nick won't mind!" A "HotShot" chant is heard as Michaels looks Dangerous in the eyes shaking his head in disgust.]
Wilden: This is silly.
[Jacobson creeps up from behind with a schoolboy pin.]
Wilden: Don't count Jacobson out!
ONE
TWO
Wilden: Kickout! But close! So close!
[Both men get up to their knees, Nick delivers a fierce knife edge chop.]
Wilden: Oh! Lord.
[Jacobson responds with a forearm knocking Nick to a seated position, Jacobson quickly rushes to the ropes behind Nick and rebounds with a kick to the spine.]
Wilden: You could hear that from the rafters!
[Jacobson runs to the ropes in front of Dangerous, and hits a rolling neckbreaker to bring Nick down.]
Wilden: And a neckbreaker! And a pin!
ONE
TWO
[Nick kicks out, but Jacobson quickly applies an STF to Dangerous.]
Wilden: Out of one dangerous predicament and into another! No pun intended. Dangerous is stuck!
Hart: The ropes are soooo close!
[Nick sneaks a few elbows into the ribs of Jacobson but Jacobson doesn't relent.]
Hart: Get out of there!
Wilden: This is bad for his neck and leg, Serious had already done most of the work! Make him tap Jacobson! Become a star! This is your moment man! You can do it!
Hart: Nick knows where he is, he's going for the ropes!
Wilden: But will he make it in time?
Hart: Come on!
[Nick gets closer to the ropes, as he reaches for them, Chris Michaels pulls the ropes further away as the fans go wild.]
Hart: What does he think he's doing?
Wilden: Michaels wants Nick to lose this just as bad!
[Johnny Williams demands Michaels release the bottom rope. Michaels complies as Nick hooks his arm on the ropes.]
Hart: Nick's attached to the ropes like he just found his long lost son!
Wilden: I don't know how long he could have lasted in the state he's in.
Hart: He needed those ropes more than Serious needs a prayer going up against Heretic!
[Raymond pulls Nick from the ropes as the fans cheer Raymond attempting to put the STF back on.]
Wilden: Raymond going for it again!
[Nick ducks from Raymond's grasp, again trying for a Dangerous Armbar.]
Hart: Nick has pulled a Dangerous Armbar out of nowhere a few times now!
Wilden: It's not all in yet!
Hart: It's gonna be!
[Jacobson rolls forward and out of the armbar attempt.]
Wilden: Jacobson rolls out of it!
[Jacobson gets to his feet as Dangerous struggles to his.]
Wilden: Jacobson with a stiff kick to Nick's head before he could even get to his feet!
[Nick makes it to his feet in a daze as Jacobson gets in position for the R.J.A.]
Wilden: R.J.A.! Can he do it?
[Nick hammers away on Jacobson's back as Jacobson's back gives, allowing Nick to make it back on his feet. Nick wrenches Jacobson's arm.]
Wilden: Short arm lariat from Nick Dangerous!
[Nick holds on to Jacobson's arm as he lifts him back to his feet.]
Wilden: This isn't good.
[Nick then gets Jacobson in a fireman's carry, Nick's eyes are watering as you can see he's still feeling his bad legs.]
Wilden: Where'd this come from!
Hart: Danger Driver! He hit it!
Wilden: Damnit!
[Nick sits on his knees, eyes crossed as he's definitely winded.]
Hart: Get on him!
[Nick then becomes focused as he catches eyes with Michaels.]
Hart: Pin!
ONE
TWO
THREE
Wilden: Damnit!
DING DING DING
[Fanfare for the Common Man then hits the PA system as Nick looks Michaels in the eyes, Michaels puts his hands on his hips as he's clearly disappointed that Nick pulled it off.]
Hart: Nick did it! He did it by the books, what do you think of that Lance?
Wilden: That might have been by the books to Dangerous' standards but there was still some rulebreaking involved.
Hart: MINOR rulebreaking, give it a rest, Nick just put on a clinic.
Wilden: Both men put on a hell of a performance, but I can only hope we see this match when both men are one hundred percent.
Hart: They were of equal percents!
Wilden: That's a hard call too make Robbie. Jacobson put up a hell of an effort.
Benson: The winner of this match. Nick Daaaaaaaangerouuuuus!
[John Pilchard gets in the ring, one hand tending to his neck as the other raises a groggy Nick Dangerous' hand in the air.]
Wilden: One thing I can question is if that neck brace is really necessary.
Hart: You and your questions
[John Pilchard pulls Nick away, in attempt to escort him out of the ring, but Nick pulls his arm away, as John Pilchard looks on confused. Nick hobbles over to the ropes nearest Michaels as he looks down on him, and then he looks back to Jacobson, and back to Michaels. He breathes heavily as he shouts "I'm gonna kill 'im!" He takes another few deep breathes as he continues "and there's nothing you can do about it!"]
Wilden: What!
Hart: Michaels brought this on him!
[Nick hobbles back to Jacobson as he kicks him over to his stomache, and kicks his right arm so it comes a little closer to him, as he looks back at Michaels.]
Wilden: Just when you think Nick changed.
Hart: How many time's must it be said? He's a Weapon, he's changed into something more Dangerous than before. Pun intended!
["Fanfare for the Common Man" is silenced as the situation becomes dire, Michaels slides into the ring as he desperately pulls Jacobson out of the ring, as he wakes Jacobson up to his feet on the outside of the ring.]
Hart: Lucky punk!
Wilden: Thank god Michaels was out there before Nick could add insult to injury, and Jacobson would be such a terrible waste, after tonight I'm convinced Michaels is right, he's gonna go places.
Hart: Not if he keeps being a loud mouth!
[Nick exits the ring as he and Pilchard back up the ramp, Pilchard talking trash angrily as the roll up, cameras zoom in on Michaels as we hear him say "you'll get what's coming soon."]
Wilden: I can only hope Michaels can fend off this storm somehow before it does some serious damage. What an explosive edition of Driven folks, to be continued next week, until then goodnight!
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Will of a Warrior '09
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Eye of the Storm '09
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Summertime Bruise '09
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Glory '09
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Total Control '09
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Warfare '09
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Cyberslam '09
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Roll the Dice '09
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Veneration '08
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Will of a Warrior '08
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To Hell and Back '08
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Eye of the Storm '08
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Slam in the Sand '08
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Glory '08
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Cyberslam '08
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Dangerous Engagement '08
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Veneration '07
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Will of a Warrior '07
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Slam in the Sand '07
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Glory '07
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Nuclear Warfare III '07
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Cyberslam V '07
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Lords of Punishment II '07
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Cyberslam IV '05
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No Love Lost '05
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Lords of Punishment '05
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