Well my boss called me up and said to come into work.
I just hung up on that slave-driving jerk.
I'm goin' to Rasslin!
Goin' to Rasslin!

You think I'd rather be sweatin' on the dock?
Or watching somebody use a hammerlock?
I'm goin' to Rasslin!
Goin' to Rasslin!

R-A-S-S-L-I-N That's Rasslin'

I like to watch ASM smash his axe off the corner post
And that Hooligan kick delivered by Jacob Baxter
Johnny Serious and Muru are what I like the most
And the alley opp and aeroplane spin like only Thaddeus Walker can!

Boss called again said it's time and a half if you come in tonight
I just had to laugh
I'm goin' to Rasslin!
Goin' to Rasslin!

R-A-S-S-L-I-N That's Rasslin'

Well my girlfriend called and friend she could be a model for Fredrick's of Hollywood
But she was hassled, really hassled!
Said I could come over early and stay real late
But I told her honey if we got a date we're goin' to rasslin
Goin' to Rasslin!

R-A-S-S-L-I-N That's Rasslin'

As Chazz Mendel when he's really high in flight
Cool as Ice Devon Dice when he's out there struttin'
Big Ronnie Wilkins must be seven foot nine!
I wouldn't miss this for a dozen girls.
I wouldn't miss this if for nothin'

I said Honey I hope you ain't hurt
She said I'm puttin' on my rasslin' shirt
I'm goin to rasslin!
Goin' to Rasslin!

R-A-S-S-L-I-N that's Rasslin!

Well last night I dreamed my life was over
There were golden streets and fields of clover
And the lights, they were dazzlin'.
I looked for ol' Prophet Mohammad at the pearly gates
I found a note that said I won't be too late
I'm goin' to Rasslin'
Goin' to Rasslin!

R-A-S-S-L-I-N that's Rasslin!

There's the gigolo Mike Logan with all his lovely ladies
There's Nick Dangerous with his trademark armbar
And I'll never forget the classic battles of seven years ago!
Two champions Chris Michaels and Notorious JON

Mohammad told me as he let me in
From now on, every Thursday, Karl, we're goin' to rasslin
Goin' to Rasslin!

He spelled it
R-A-S-S-L-I-N that's Rasslin!

Boy if I'd known this was gonna happen I wouldn't have bought these advance tickets!
Hey Mohammad, will all my virgins have a ringside seat?
Is ole' JJ gonna be up here any time soon?
R-A-S-S-L-I-N that's Rasslin!

[Cameras fade in to the Dunkin' Donuts Center in Providence, Rhode Island. Pyro explodes as cameras rush through excited fans in the audience all heavily anticipating tonight's live show. Cameras scan through various fan signs such as ”Johnny Serious is a tattletale" “Mike Logan is a cowerd” and "ASM is a badaxe” The camera finally stops on Joel Nelson and Robbie Hart, who look very excited to call the action.]

Nelson: Ten days away from Warfare ladies and gentlemen as we take a detour to Providence, Rhode Island and the feeling is electric!

Hart: I'm excited!

Nelson: I'm Joel Nelson, with me as always Robbie Hart. Everyone's on the edge of their seats, will more matches be announced for this month's pay per view?

Hart: One thing's for sure, Johnny Serious has a ConClusion to answer to!

Nelson: When we left the air last week folks Johnny Serious was the unexpected victim of former Omega representative Andrew Phillips, who obviously has it out for our World Champion.

Hart: He could be squaring in on a title shot if Serious has the cajones!

Nelson: But tonight Andrew Phillips has to worry about the returning drug of choice, Raymond Jacobson in tonight's main event. These people are ready to see a show Robbie. Are you ready to see a show?

Hart: I think I'm ready to see a show!

[Suddenly, "The Stroke" by Billy Squire begins to play over the P.A. system as we see Mike Logan stroll arrogantly out to the ring with a smile on his face as some fans are hurling garbage at him and one lady even throws her drink at Mike Logan's face as Logan mockingly blows her a kiss before strolling into the ring with his US Title.]

Nelson: Looks like the show's gonna have to wait. This is just more sickening every week to see this jerk coming to the ring with the United States title and acting like he is the greatest thing since sliced bread...

Hart: Well, you might want to accept it because in my eyes, Mike Logan is a champion's champion. He's got two beautiful women by his side, he's aligned with Mr. Rich, and he's got championship gold. What more could you ask for?

Nelson: Well, let's hear what Mike Logan has to say....

[Mike Logan lifts the microphone up to his lips but is immediately met with a "LO-GAN SUCKS! LO-GAN SUCKS!" chant. Mike Logan shakes his head and roll his eyes as he begins to speak]

Logan: If I've said it once, I've said it a billion times... I get that you people don't like me. It's all mind over matter in my eyes because I don't mind your childish chants... because you pieces of inbred, bottom-feeding, trailer-park trash don't matter!

[The fans boo even louder as some more fans hurl garbage at Mike Logan. Logan laughs to himself as he taunts the fans some more]

Logan: You can hurl as much garbage as me as you want, but the fact remains that I, Mike Logan, am still YOUR United States Champion whether you people like it or not!

[The fans continue to boo their lungs out at this point]

Logan: Now then, the "Loga-Conda" is really patting himself on the back for how cunning he is. You see, I told you people I had no intentions of defending this belt unless I feel like it, and I tricked, not one... not two... but THREE gulliable wrestlers into thinking I'd give them a title shot. People like Muru, Jacob Baxter, and Devon Dice are so dumb it takes them two hours to watch "60 Minutes"! If they had any brains, they would have known they had about as much chance of actually getting a title shot as Rosie O'Donnell has of being the sexiest woman alive!

[The fans rain down even more boos as Mike Logan just smirks as he continues]

Logan: Now, if you all will excuse me... Mary-Joe's currently wanting to play with my rubix cube because she knows the more she plays with it, the HARDER IT GETS, so if you people will excuse me...

[Logan is cut off as “Ladies and Gentlemen” by Saliva erupts throughout the arena. Muru steps out onto the entrance ramp and receives a chorus of cheers. He had a microphone in hand and as his music dies down he waits for the cheers to stop as well]

Muru: Mike I know you are in a hurry, but…Mary Joe is going to have to wait. Now I know you are proud of yourself and think that you have pulled one over on Dice and myself. If that is what you think then you would be wrong. I am not sure if you were paying attention last week but Tony Awesome isn’t going to put up with childish antics. You might not want to defend the United States title but that is exactly what is going to happen at Warfare.

[The fans cheer this announcement]

Logan: I am the champ…

Muru: Hang on Mike, that isn’t all. As for your opponent, well you won’t be facing Devon Dice or myself.

[This brings a look of relief to Logan’s face]

Muru: You will be facing Muru AND Devon Dice!

[Clutch's "Electric Worry" plays as Devon Dice makes his way onto the stage with a ladder in hand. He sets up the ladder on the top of the stage and climbs it. He sits on the top of the ladder with a microphone.]

Devon Dice: How about them apples, gigolo? You didn't want a piece of neither of us, and now you're getting us both. How does that make you feel?

[Logan has a confused look on his face he raises the microphone to his mouth and is cut off by Dice.]

Dice: Wait, wait. Don't speak yet. I'm not finished. You're probably not happy about the situation, but there's really nothing you can do about it, as champion, or "chumpian," It's your duty to defend the belt. So now you've pulled a quick one on us last week, giggled to yourself and your floozies all week long, and now the joke is on you.

[Logan visibly upset raises the microphone to his mouth again and is cut off by Dice.]

Dice: Hey man, I'm not done, it gets better. Aren't you just a wee bit curious why I'm sitting atop a ten foot ladder? It's been decided that at Nuclear Warfare, when you reluctantly roll the Dice, the house will win without question, but it will be in a Ladder Match!

[Logan begins to shake his head yelling "No". Before Logan can continue, he’s interrupted as the image of Jacob Baxter come on the screen in the arena]

Jacob Baxter: Allo.

[The three men in the ring turn towards the screen]

Baxter: No invite for me? I’d love to be in the company of you three fine men in the ring, but for your safety, it’s probably for the best. To say I’m quite aggro is an understatement. Muru and Dice – I’ve made quick work of you two blokes many times before. I think the last thing you two want is for me to embarrass you again in the ring. And Logan…you bleeding sod…you might think you’re quite slick for pulling the rug out from under me aren’t you?

[Logan shrugs and smiles, basking in what he did last week.]

Baxter: Be as smug as you want good chap. You think you can make a promise and dupe me and think everything will be a-ok? You’ve only put yourself in the sights of the Beast. You’ve only set yourself up to end up in the same positions I’ve left Muru and Devon Dice on more than a couple occasions. All three of you are nothing but mere prey now for The Beast of Sydenham. You know you would like to have a go, yea? So, why not invite good ol’ Jacob to the party. If I’m right, I will leave all three of you laying in a pool of your dignity. If I’m wrong, well, you can make it three on one and have your way and beat the bleeding snot out of me. Hah. Best of the British to you chaps on that. So, what will it be?

[Logan brings the microphone up to his mouth]

Muru: I got this one Mike…So Jacob Baxter wants a title shot? You tried to cost Dice and I a shot and now you want in the match…

Dice: That is what he is saying Moo…

Muru: Well I am game if you are. Seems like he needs to be taught another lesson.

Dice: I like those odds…at Warfare it will be Dice, Muru, Baxter and Logan in a four man ladder match!

[Up on the screen Baxter smiles while in the ring Logan is livid. Muru and Dice just smile as the camera cuts back to Joel and Robbie]

Nelson: We wanted a United States Championship match at Warfare and we got it Robbie!

Hart: Who the hell do Dice and Muru think they are? Who gave them the power to make title matches? This is insane! Logan is the champion and he had no say in the matter.

Nelson: He wanted to hide behind the belt Robbie. This is a different cWo and now Logan is going to get what he deserves. He will be a fighting champion whether he likes it or not. I think Tony Awesome is gonna have a hard time turning this down!

Hart: This goes against protocol! Devon Dice and Muru they, they gotta reach the right channels! You can't just book a match!

Nelson: If it's a match this good, why not? After the break it's Brother Shabazz going up against Barrett Hawk, we'll be right back!

Nelson: Fans if you just tuned in, before the break we saw a shocking announcement regarding the United States Championship.

[We roll back to footage of before the break.]

Dice: I like those odds…at Warfare it will be Dice, Muru, Baxter and Logan in a four man ladder match!

[We come back to Nelson and Hart.]

Nelson: Well I just got word, from Tony Awesome himself, this match is on!

Hart: What is this amateur hour? The inmates run the asylum? Anarchy! Anarchy!

Nelson: Will you calm down?

DING DING DING

Dixon: The following contest is scheduled for one fall.

["Triumph" by the Wu Tang Clan hits the PA system. Boos are heard as Brother Shabazz makes his entrance, seemingly unmoved by the fans reaction.]

Dixon: Entering the ring first, weighing in at two hundred and five pounds, from New Haven Connecticut. Brotherrrrr Shabazz!

Nelson: Brother Shabazz with a chip on his shoulder tonight.

Hart: He looks like he's finally starting to smell the roses.

Nelson: Yes, the relationship between Brother Shabazz and longtime tag team partner J.J. Carter has definitely been put to the test this last week. Shabazz is not normally a singles competition kind of guy, but something sparked last week.

Hart: I'll say, he's branching out on his own, he's taking the initiative!

Nelson: Well you can't question his intentions, he wants bigger and better in cWo, but you can certainly question his means.

Hart: What are you talking about? When was the last time J.J. Carter wrestled for a title? When was the last time he main evented? Face it Joel, the guy's bad luck.

[Brother Shabazz takes to the ring as he awaits his opponent. The introduction to Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Simple Man" plays. Some chatter is heard in the crowd in anticipation of Barrett Hawk. As the intro passes, Barrett Hawk comes out wearing his trademark cowboy hat, with the American flag gripped in his hands as he holds it up, with the flag caped over his back. He walks down the aisle with Giant Maxx behind him wearing a cowboy hat of his own.]

Dixon: And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by Giant Maxx. Weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds. Raised in Sulphur, Oklahoma. Barreeeeett Hawk!

Nelson: Hawk looks in good spirits tonight.

Hart: He's on a losing streak, and he's on his last chance with the office, that's no reason to be in a good mood!

Nelson: The best thing a guy in Hawk's position can do is try to keep a positive attitude.

Hart: He could use some advice from Brother Shabazz if you ask me. J.J. Carter might be bad luck but he's no trouble maker like Giant Maxx! If I were Hawk, you'd might as well see a giant pink slip when you see him!

Nelson: I don't think it's in Barrett Hawk's conscience to leave Giant Maxx high and dry.

[Hawk takes to the ring, tossing his hat out to the audience to his right, and his American flag out to his left while keeping his eyes on an unimpressed Brother Shabazz.]

Nelson: I'm looking forward to this meeting of two men who've never stepped in the ring against each other before.

[Referee Hector Garcia calls for the bell.]

DING DING DING

Nelson: Both men with something to prove here.

Hart: I gotta say I think Shabazz's new attitude will make all the difference.

Nelson: They lock up.

[As Shabazz and Hawk lock horns, Barrett Hawk hooks Shabazz with a headlock.]

Nelson: Hawk with the headlock takedown.

[Shabazz with a leg scissors, pries Hawk out of the headlock.]

Nelson: Shabazz won't stay down that easily.

[Hawk kips up out of the leg scissors, as Shabazz gets back to his feet with Hawk, as they meet in the center again.]

Nelson: They're at it again, and Hawk with another headlock takedown!

[Brother Shabazz slams his hands against the canvas in frustration, when he scissors Hawk by the head again, this time Hawk performs a headstand, and sommersaults into Shabazz for a bridged pin.]

Nelson: Lookout.

ONE

Nelson: Quick kick out in the early goings of this match.

Hart: Uh oh!

[As Shabazz and Hawk get to their feet Hawk brings Shabazz down with a double leg takedown.]

Nelson: Hawk going for his game changing Texas Cloverleaf!

Hart: He's not gonna do it!

[Shabazz squirms frantically, scooching himself backwards and gripping the ropes for dear life.]

Hart: There, rope break ref!

[Hector Garcia is heard shouting "alright, rope break!" as Hawk raises his arms and backs away from Shabazz giving him space to get back in the match. He squats down to his level as he gestures with his hands for Shabazz to bring everything he's got.]

Nelson: Hawk looking confident tonight!

[Shabazz shoots Hawk a look like he takes offense to Hawk's playful attitude, and gets back up to his feet and charges after him.]

Hart: Whoa!

[Hawk grabs Shabazz by the head as he charges and throws him over the top rope, sending Shabazz falling to the floor.]

Nelson: Well Brother Shabazz's new beginning isn't without it's problems as this bout's leaning in Barrett Hawk's favor.

Hart: Oh this is it! Giant Maxx is about to lose control!

[Giant Maxx doesn't hesitate to pick Brother Shabazz to his feet. Shabazz looks somewhat scared as he realizes Maxx has his hands on him before he releases himself from Maxx's grasp and rolls in the ring. Hector is seen in Hawk's face telling him "hey tell your friend to stay out of this match!"]

Hart: Man I can only fathom what Shabazz just got himself out of.

[Shabazz gets up in the ring as he yanks Hector towards him by the collar of his shirt, reprimanding him while point towards Maxx.]

Nelson: I think he was just trying to help, not that I condone him interrupting the match.

[Hawk gets in between Shabazz and Garcia, trying to cool things down when Shabazz knocks Hawk out with a right hand. The fans let out a collective "ooooh" at the sound of fist connecting with face.]

Hart: That'll teach 'em.

Nelson: The ebb and flow of this match has been disrupted and this is the result of that folks. Shabazz a bit fed up.

Hart: I can't blame him.

[Hawk sits up as he looks dizzy, reaching his arms out looking to get a feel for where he is. Shabazz grounds him with a kick the head.]

Nelson: Shabazz with a pin.

ONE

Nelson: Almost two.

[Brother Shabazz assists Barrett Hawk to his feet. He meets him on the way up with a knee lift to the gut, followed by a hard right hand that brings Hawk down to one knee.]

Nelson: Shabazz comfortable and in control.

[Shabazz brings him back to both feet, before clapping his hands against both sides of Hawk's head.]

Nelson: Hawk stunned by a mongolian chop.

Hart: That's how they do in the streets of Mongolia!

Nelson: Of course.

[Shabazz hits Hawk with a calculated haymaker that sends him back into the corner.]

Nelson: Shabazz now wearing away on the Simple Man with knee lifts to the corner.

Hart: Takes a real pro not to let the distraction by Giant Maxx wear on him. Instead Shabazz used it to his advantage and look at him now!

Nelson: One can only wonder what match we'd be seeing if Giant Maxx hadn't imposed himself. No one ever said the cWo was predictable.

Hart: The winner of this match is looking awful predictable now! Tonight's Brother Shabazz's night!

[As a worn out Barrett Hawk crumbles to a squat in the corner, Shabazz brings him back to a stand, and delivers another hard haymaker.]

Hart: Hawk's looking like a Chess club president in a dark alley.

Nelson: Definitely worse for wear, he's gonna have to dig deep for an equalizer.

[Shabazz grips Hawk by the hair and takes him down with a snapmare. Follows up with a lateral press.]

Nelson: This could be it right here!

ONE

TWO

Nelson: Hawk's down but not out.

Hart: Not yet at least!

[Shabazz again assist Hawk to his feet, once up to one knee, Hawk fires bak with right hands to Shabazz's gut, which has an obvious effect on Shabazz.]

Nelson: Can Hawk make a comeback?

[Shabazz then grabs Hawk by the hand and stops him before he can mount a comeback with a short arm clothesline.]

Nelson: Wow.

Hart: Not after that!

Nelson: Shabazz nearly took off Barrett Hawk's head there. Man!

[Shabazz goes for another pin.]

ONE

TWO

Nelson: Two! Still a two count!

[Giant Maxx begins slamming on the mat as Shabazz places Hawk in a rear chinlock.]

Hart: Gotta say Brother Shabazz is really shining after establishing that when it comes to the Connexion, he's the man!

Nelson: A hard, well placed, mind you closed fisted right hand was all it took for Shabazz to take the advantage.

Hart: Close fisted, gee if Hawk did the same thing you'd let it slide.

Nelson: Rules are rules Robbie. I won't hold it against him, Shabazz definitely playing to his strengths, that right hand's gotta be his most dangerous weapon.

[Fans clap their hands along to the beat established by Giant Maxx slamming his hands on the mat.]

Nelson: Yet the fans are still depending on Barrett Hawk to take with him a redeeming victory a week removed from his loss to Mike Logan.

[Brother Shabazz talks trash to Barrett Hawk, who shakes his arms, trying to will himself out of the hold.]

Nelson: Much to the shagrin of Brother Shabazz, these fans are really amping up the Simple Man Barrett Hawk!

[Shabazz switches directions as the fans become disappointed when Shabazz readjusts himself with a rear naked choke. With his back rested on the canvas and Hawk on top of him, Shabazz applies the sleeper to the best of his abilities.]

Hart: Look at Shabazz!

Nelson: Brother Shabazz is really impressing as he adapts to maintain control of this match!

[Hawk then rolls backwards.]

Nelson: Look at this!

[Hawk's roll shifts the weight onto Shabazz's upper body, pinning his shoulders to the mat.]

ONE

TWO

[Fans let out another "ooooh" as Hawk nearly takes the match.]

Nelson: Hawk nearly slipped the rug from beneath Brother Shabazz!

[Hawk nurses his neck as Shabazz gets back to his feet, Hawk is on his hands and knees when Shabazz helps him back to his feet, and takes him down with a body slam.]

Hart: He just made Shabazz that much more focused if anything.

Nelson: That could be.

[Brother Shabazz begins climbing to the top rope.]

Hart: What are we gonna see here?

Nelson: Shabazz going to the top rope. Always a great risk going up there.

Hart: An optimist would call it a high reward maneuver!

[Shabazz waits for Hawk to get to his feet, when he charges at him with an axe handle smash.]

Nelson: Hawk just saved himself!

[Hawk hits a punch to the gut of Shabazz as he comes down, sending Shabazz sommersaulting to the mat.]

Nelson: Shabazz came at Barrett Hawk with a flying axehandle smash, shades of ASM himself, but Hawk delivers a punch to the breadbasket that really hit the target!

[Hawk falls to his knees as Shabazz is winded by the punch as Hawk takes a moment to breathe.]

Nelson: I'd love to stay optimistic in Brother Shabazz's case here but the risk beat out the award in that exchange.

[Hawk uses the ropes to get to his feet as Shabazz begins getting to his feet, Hawk catches up with Shabazz just as he makes it up to one knee, Hawk hits him with a European uppercut that backs him up against the ropes.]

Nelson: Fans are willfully accepting Barrett Hawk as the dominant force in this point of the match.

[Hawk presses Shabazz backwards against the ropes, as he holds his right arm in the air, hand gesturing his love to the audience before whipping Shabazz into the opposite ropes.]

Nelson: Shabazz against the ropes!

[Hawk bends over, looking like he might be going for a back body drop when Shabazz flips over with a sunset flip.]

Nelson: Shabazz with the sunset flip!

ONE

TWO

Nelson: Kickout!

[Both men in pain, bring themselves to their feet, when Hawk charges in for a clothesline, but Shabazz ducks under and brings Hawk down with a rolling schoolboy pin.]

ONE

Nelson: He's got the tights!

TWO

Nelson: He's got the tights!

THREE

DING DING DING

Hart: It's over!

[Shabazz gets up on his knees, holding his arms in the air as Hawk sits on his hands and knees in disappointment.]

Dixon: The winner of this match by pinfall, Brotherrrr Shabazz!

Nelson: Brother Shabazz with a handful of tights took this match.

Hart: I know you're never gonna let that slide Joel but the fact of the matter is Brother Shabazz made a statement last Saturday at Full Throttle, and since then has hit the ground running, and I say good for him.

Nelson: Both men put out a good performance, it's just a shame how it ended.

[Meanwhile in the ring Giant Maxx is in Brother Shabazz's face shouting "it's not fair! You cheated! He cheated!" He cries to both Shabazz and Hector Garcia. Both men fire back at him with words that are inaudible to the camera as Shabazz speaks over them shouting "you cheated!"]

Hart: Will someone get Maxx out of there?

Nelson: Giant Maxx is just speaking for the fans, unfortunately Hector Garcia's decision is final.

[Hawk tries to calm the situation as he gets between Shabazz and Maxx. Shabazz aggressively shoves Maxx.]

Nelson: Hey-whoa now!

[Hawk then shouts "stop it! Get out of here!" at Brother Shabazz, getting in his face. Shabazz stares back at Hawk as Hawk repeats "just leave! Let me deal with him." Shabazz backs off, rolling out under the bottom rope.]

Nelson: Takes a lot of integrity to let a controversial win like that slide so as to keep order in the ring.

Hart: Giant Maxx is just a big anchor on Barrett Hawk's ship. You ask me it's not worth the hassle.

Nelson: You might be right there Robbie. But Hawk obviously feels that's his cross to bare. Mr. Rich on the other hand, has responsibilities of his own.

Hart: Giant Maxx and Barrett Hawk have a tag team match at Warfare and they don't even have opponents yet!

Nelson: Not for a lack of trying, before we go for break, check out what happened earlier today.

[We go backstage where we see Johnny Serious entering the building with the cWo World Title over his shoulder. He is in a black SERIOUS tee shirt and a pair of jeans. As he is walking, Evette wheels Mr. Rich towards Serious in his golden wheel chair.]

Mr. Rich: Johnny, can I have a word!

Serious: With you?...Are you Serious?

Mr. Rich: Listen, due to my injuries, I need two honest wrestlers to take my place, and with our long history, I thought you might be able....

[Serious cuts him off]

Serious: Enough! First off, I don't trust you, I don't like you! Second, I have more important things to do than deal with your crap. So do us all a favor and roll yourself right to hell.

[Serious walks off as Mr. Rich just stares at Serious]

Mr. Rich: That was uncalled for!

Nelson: We'll be back folks!

[The cameras now take us to a bar nearby the Dunkin Donuts Center in downtown Providence, shown on the jumbotron live to those in the arena.

[Mad Maddie is sitting on a barstool, with three empty pint glasses and even more empty shot glasses sitting in front of her. The bartender turns around, sees her and walks over to her.]

Bartender: More whiskey miss?

Maddie: Please.

Bartender: And for your friend there with the camera?

Cameraman: [not shown] Can I get another Steel Rail please?

Bartender: Sure.

Maddie: I can't believe this sh**. I've seen this much show so far, and no Chastity.

Cameraman: [not shown] You expect Chastity to really say anything to you? You threw a bottle at her head last week during a title match, after showing up to fight drunk. You know she's too much of a competitor to tolerate something like that.

Maddie: Well, she thinks she's the best. But let me just say this. If she is really the best, let's see her come fight me my way and beat me. Let's see her get dragged down into the muck, get some no holds barred, hand to hand combat to knock a bitch out. That's what I want to see.

[Maddie watches as the bartender pours a shot of whiskey in front of her. Once done, she grabs the shot, and downs it quickly.]

Maddie: I hate being in these northern states, can't smoke in bars.

[The bartender pours another shot, which Maddie takes another quick shot.]

Maddie: So yeah, Chastity. If you can see this right now... two weeks from now up the road in Boston. You and me, no holds barred! Flying and submissions won't help you, I want you in a battle. Weapons? Make em legal.

[Suddenly, Maddie is knocked off her stool! The camera spins around to show Chastity standing over Maddie! She pounces and starts hitting Maddie with lefts and rights! Maddie fights back with punches of her own! Chastity throws her up on the bar counter and begins to slide her on the bar. Maddie falls onto the floor and Chastity starts stomping on her! Maddie is pulled up and Chastity irish whips her onto the pool table. She charges but once again, Maddie slams a mug over Chastity’s head! She quickly grabs a pool cue and wacks her across the side with it. Chastity falls forward in pain as Maddie laughs! She cracks the cue against her back. Maddie pulls her by the hair and slams her head onto the pool table! She then cracks Chastity over the head with the cue once again! Chastity falls down and actually stays down. Maddie, pulls the title off Chastity’s waist, looks at it then throws it back on Chastity. She then limps back to the bar. She grabs a shot on the bar and takes another swig and slams the glass down.]

Maddie: Put it on my tab!

[She looks back and notices McGavin getting back up, very slowly! There is a moment of panic, but then just sprints away.]

Hart: Whooooaaa!

Nelson: When cWo is in town nowhere is safe! We just had ourselves a bar brawl ladies and gentlemen!

Hart: Mad Maddie just made a statement! You don't tussle with a lioness on her own territory.

Nelson: Not that you'd wanna mess with a lion in any environment.

Hart: Especially on her home turf! If that bar were a gym she'd be miss fitness. She'd have an eight pack.

Nelson: I'm sure she has several eight packs a day, but coming up next is a handicap match featuring ASM going up against Ron Wilkins and a mystery opponent of his choosing.

Hart: As long as Wilkins is actually in the ring and not sitting next to me.

Nelson: I thought the two of you got along famously.

Hart: I did what I had to do to survive!

[“Coming Undone” by Korn suddenly blasts the speakers throughout the arena. ASM walks through the curtain with a satisfying grin across his face. He walks slowly down the ramp and then steps over the ropes and into the ring.]

Nelson: ASM looking confident and proud of his actions from earlier.

Hart: All I have to say is he better not touch my baby in the parking lot.

Nelson: Folks take a look at what happened before Driven hit airwaves tonight.

[We roll to footage taken earlier today, ASM is seen walking through the parking lot limping a bit.]

[ASM walks past a big H2 Hummer with a license plate reading “RONWILK” and then stops in his tracks.]

ASM: How does that lummox have enough money to waste on gas? Guess that’s the only thing he can fit his big ass into…..

Hart: You can’t put a price on style, Nelson.

[ASM shrugs it off and continues to walk into the arena. He is met by a security guard and his supervisor sitting alongside a metal detector.]

ASM: Now just what the hell is this? Is this some kind of joke?

Guard: No, sir. It is brand new company policy.

ASM: Company policy? Aren’t there supposed to be votes on these types of things? I was never notified.

Guard: I apologize, sir, but no vote is necessary when a company employee feels threatened and files a complaint.

[ASM looking anxious, walks through the metal detector.]

[BEEP BEEP BEEP]

Guard: I’m sorry, but you’ll have to empty your pockets.

ASM: Fine….guess there’s no way around this one.

[With that, ASM rolls his jeans up unveiling a wooden handled ax hidden in his pants’ leg.]

Guard: SIR! You’re going to have to dispose of that before entering this arena.

[A sly smile comes across the face of ASM.]

ASM: Not a problem….ha. You gentlemen wait here.

[ASM walks back out into the parking lot. A few seconds pass until one loud BOOM is heard. ASM reappears into the arena and walks through the metal detector without any issue.]

ASM: Have a nice day fellas.

[The security guard and supervisor look perplexed as ASM disappears down the hallway chuckling the whole way. The footage ends as we return to ringside, seeing ASM as he admires his work on display on the big screen.]

Nelson: I think a certain someone needs to go check his car.

Hart: Bar fights, wrestlers booking their own title matches, maniacs chopping hummers like a tree! This is chaos!

[“Seven Nation Army” by the White Stripes begins to kick in as Ron “The Grim Reaper” Wilkins steps onto the ramp microphone in hand.]

Wilkins: Cut the music!.......I said cut MY music!

[The music abruptly stops as the cWo fans begin to boo.]

Nelson: What is going on here?

Hart: He probably wants to announce his mystery partner, Einstein.

Wilkins: ASM!!! I know I accepted your challenge last week, but I don’t think I was in the right state of mind. I was enraged and not thinking clearly. So, I will not be competing here tonight.

[The arena erupts in boos aimed at Wilkins. Chants of “Wilkins sucks” “Wilkins sucks” start to echo throughout the crowd.]

Nelson: The fans do not like that announcement, Robbie.

Hart: The fans will like what he tells them to like…….well just look at the size of him. Are you going to disagree with him?

Wilkins: Shut up!!! Don’t get me wrong, I would love to come down there and beat you from pillar to post, but it seems that I have a certain Hummer to attend to.

[The crowd erupts in laughter as ASM starts to clap and point at Wilkins from the ring.]

Wilkins: You think that’s funny? Well, don’t get too comfortable down there because I never said there wasn’t going to be a handicap match tonight…..

Nelson: What?

Hart: He said that there’s still going to be a handicap match tonight.

Nelson: I heard him…oh, never mind.

Wilkins: I found two replacements and as a matter of fact, they are a tag team who works well together. Introducing………Gonzo and Albert……D-N-A!!!!

[“Rainy Day Women” by Bob Dylan kicks onto the PA system as Gonzo and Albert the Farmer stumble through the curtains carrying a cooler and lean up against Ron Wilkins trying not to fall down.]

Nelson: Well it seems that DNA has made their return…..

Hart: Return from where? The bar?

Nelson: I know what you mean, I think I can smell them from here….

Wilkins: I told you two to stay….sharp.

Albert: We…ar shaarperrr.

Gonzo: You want be[burp]er big man?

RW: No, I don’t want a beer! Just get down there and take him out!

[DNA stumbles down the rampway holding onto each other as Ron Wilkins shakes his head and disappears behind the curtain. They set the cooler down and try to prepare for action.]

Nelson: It looks like we are going to have a…um….match here.

[DING DING DING]

Nelson: The bell has sounded and we are under way. It looks like Gonzo will start in the ring against ASM.

Hart: I can’t look….

[Gonzo stumbles up to ASM and tries to get into a staredown. ASM turns away and then quickly turns back around and nails a right hand on Gonzo which sends him flying. ASM follows suit and pulls Gonzo to his feet. He sends him into the turnbuckle and follows that up with a big splash in the corner. Gonzo collapses in the corner as ASM begins to stomp away on Gonzo.]

Hart: Well, I guess it’s true that liquor gives you a false sense of confidence.

[ASM takes a stroll around the ring and lets Gonzo get to his feet using the ropes. ASM walks over to him and gives him a kick to the gut. He raises Gonzo up with a military press and then slams him to the mat with authority.]

Nelson: Gonzo isn’t going to last long in the there against this machine.

Hart: The little guy is doomed. He looks like he needs some medical assistance already….I need some Vodka STAT!

[ASM picks Gonzo up and then tosses him into his own corner. Albert the farmer tags himself in.]

Nelson: It looks like ASM wants to face the bigger Albert.

Hart: Yeah, great strategy. Let the little, half conscious guy out of the ring…

Nelson: Facing Gonzo isn’t going to give ASM any prep for the Grim Reaper.

Hart: Well, I agree there…..Gonzo is like the size of Wilkins’ arm.

[Albert storms into the ring towards ASM attempting a clothesline. ASM ducks it and scores a clothesline of his own. Albert gets to his feet quickly and begins to trade shots with ASM. ASM backs Albert into the ropes. He then sends him across the ring with an Irish whip and scores a huge spear. Albert writhes in pain and holds his stomach. Albert crawls over to the side of the ring and begins to vomit outside of the ring.]

Nelson: OHHH…..that is just wrong.

Hart: Oh my goodness, it smells like happy hour all around ringside.

[ASM covers his nose and turns his back to Albert. Albert regains his composure after a few moments and gets to his feet. He charges ASM and nails him with a big club to the back sending ASM into the corner. Albert begins to hammer away on ASM as Gonzo climbs into the ring and joins him. DNA sends ASM into the ropes and put their heads down attempting to score a double back body drop. ASM stops, grabs both DNA members by the head, and lands a double DDT.]

Nelson: Just when you think DNA was going to get something going, ASM puts a stop to it, countering an attempted back body drop, and landing a big double DDT.

Hart: I don’t think they were trying a back body drop. I think they were just bending over to puke again.

Nelson: Either way, I think the referee is going to let DNA stay in the ring together at the same time.

Hart: Wouldn’t you? We aren’t trying to have any fatalities around here.

[ASM climbs out of the ring and goes over to DNA’s cooler. He opens it up and takes two beer cans from it. He climbs back into the ring with DNA still groggy and sets the beer cans down in the middle of the ring. ASM then goes to the turnbuckle and climbs it. He awaits DNA as they get to their feet.]

Nelson: What is going on here? Maybe a little quick thinking from the ax man?

Hart: Uh oh….DNA is attracted to beer like mosquitoes are to light.

[Gonzo and Albert stand and shake the cobwebs out. They locate the beer and immediately go to pick it up without a care in the world. As soon as they reach the beer, ASM jumps from the turnbuckle and lands a double dropkick which sends Gonzo flying outside of the ring and Albert down to the mat.]

Nelson: What outstanding agility from the big man!

Hart: Poor Gonzo. He never even saw it coming.

[ASM stands and signals for the end. He picks Albert up and grabs him by the throat. ASM lifts Albert and slams him back down to the mat with a chokeslam.]

Nelson: AXEAS……

Hart: Can I say it for once?

Nelson: I thought you didn’t like ASM? Oh, go ahead.

Hart: AXESASSINATOR!!! …..And I don’t like him.

[ASM hooks the leg of Albert.]

ONE

TWO

THREE

[DING DING DING]

Benson: Here is your winner via pinfall……..A-S-M!!!!!

Nelson: Another victory for ASM here on Driven.

Hart: That was a handicap match alright…..not in DNA’s favor.

[Albert the farmer rolls out of the ring as ASM raises his hands in victory. Out of nowhere, Ron Wilkins hops over the crowd barrier, grabs a chair from ringside, and slides into the ring with ASM not noticing.]

Nelson: Ron Wilkins never left the arena!! He’s just entered the ring!!

[Wilkins waits for ASM to turn around and then lands a vicious chair shot to the skull of ASM.]

Nelson: An echoing chair shot to the head of ASM!!

Hart: Maybe that’ll teach him not to pick on the non-sober element of society.

[Wilkins throws the chair to the ground and paces in circles around ASM whose grabbing his head in agony. Wilkins picks ASM up and sets him up for a powerbomb. He lifts ASM and drives him onto the chair.]

Nelson: Oh my goodness!! Wilkins may have just cracked ASM’s spine on that folding chair!!

Hart: Ouch, I felt that one.

[“Seven Nation Army” by the White Stripes begins to play throughout the arena as Wilkins looks out into the crowd who now begin to boo louder and louder. Wilkins smiles and exits the ring.]

Nelson: What a hellacious rivalry this has turned into. Wilkins better have eyes in the back of his head next week.

Hart: Why? ASM isn’t even going to be able to walk next week let alone retaliate.

[Backstage, we see Mr. Rich sitting in his golden wheelchair, with Evette behind him. John Pilchard is seen talking to him.]

Pilchard: I'll keep an eye out for tag teams Mr. Rich, but if you don't mind, I'm about to make history.

Mr. Rich: Hmmm...I very much appreciate it John! Thank you!

[Pilchard walks out as Rich looks out to the rest of the locker room, he looks at Victor Emmit.]

Mr. Rich: Hey Victor, we're you paying attention at all to the glorious opportunity that I am offering to two individuals who are looking to obtain upper-class rights?

Emmit: Hey I hear ya loud and clear, I'd call my man Jon over here right now and beat Cletus and Clemme like a drum at Warfare. But the crux of the biscuit is I'm gonna be busy wrestlin' for the TV title so count be out brother.

[Victor gets up to leave, before he passes by Mr. Rich, he eyes Evette.]

Emmit: But you know I'd just as soon change all my plans if you let me give this cinnamon girl a whirl.

Mr. Rich: I have no use for you...

Evette: Yeah, like I would risk ever being with you and your rock star std's! Take a show and clean up, and maybe you can get a woman like me!

Mr. Rich: Hey Peas....I mean, how about you?

[The camera turns to the side to see J.J. Carter minding his own business. He tilts his head to face Rich, before getting up and slowly pacing to stand in front of Rich, and look down on him.]

Carter: Why are you looking at me? I'm not going to help you. You just think money buys you happiness, can get you whatever you want. But it doesn't. I'm not going to sell myself out to some embodiment of evil like yourself.

[Carter then walks away from Rich, who looks angrily at Carter, while Evette rolls her eyes and shakes her head in disappointment.]

Nelson: Strong words from Carter.

Hart: Does he have any idea who he's talking to?

Nelson: Judging from his heartfelt opinion I'd say he knew exactly who he was talking to.

["It's Only Money Pt. 2" by Argent hits the PA system. Fans look to the entrance way looking to see who's coming out.]

Hart: Wh-what's this?

Nelson: I couldn't tell you Robbie.

[Then, a smiling John Pilchard makes his way out dressed in a suit.]

Hart: Well look who it is!

Nelson: It's recently reassigned John Pilchard. Pretty odd to see him in such a good mood after he was almost begging to keep his job.

Hart: Yeah, he's been reassigned as a cWo manager. He's got stiff competition too, I don't think he's gonna ever outmanage the beautiful Mary-Joe Wolf!

Nelson: I know there's two inherent qualities Pilchard's lacking to fit your criteria. Personally I think Pilchard's lacking more than two qualities when it comes to basic human decency.

Hart: Ah you hold everyone to impossible standards, Pilchard's alright!

Nelson: He's a snake. A heartless snake.

Hart: Well you know, a good journalist isn't afraid to get his hands dirty. He said just moments ago that he was gonna make history! This should be great!

Nelson: Personally I'm gonna hold my enthusiasm until I know what he's talking about.

[In the ring, Pilchard is handed a microphone as his music fades out. Pilchard takes in the negative atmosphere surrounding him as he belts out a hearty laugh. He raises the mic to his mouth as he begins to speak.]

Pilchard: Oh save it for someone who deserves it, I spent the last week mining for gold and I left with platinum, John Pilchard is back!

[Boos intensify as Pilchard continues to be all smiles.]

Pilchard: I might not be allowed to write columns anymore, but I don't need that old soapbox anymore. cWo wouldn't be what it is today if it weren't for me! I've shined a light on the tyranny of Omega. When cWo was at its worst I was down in the trenches, in the line of fire, with nothing but a camera and a dream.

Nelson: Give me a break.

Pilchard: Pilchard-Fiasco will forever be known as cWo's Frost-Nixon. And I did it all for each and every one of you.

[Fans continue to boo John as his smile becomes a little more patronizing.]

Pilchard: But that chapter of my life is over, and it's time to step back into my roots. Realize this, I put Johnny Serious on the map, before Nick Dangerous was a weapon, he was a World Champion, I gave cWo it's biggest stars! But neither man, neither man compares to what's to come. You see I looked at the roster. I watched the tapes. With my resume I made sure my next client has what it takes to not only live up to but surpass my past accolades. I present to you my own personal economic bailout. Mac Johnson!

[No music plays as Mac Johnson makes his way out to the ring with a smile on his face. Pilchard applauds him on his way out.]

Nelson: Mac Johnson?

Hart: Mac Johnson, Joel. Mac Johnson.

Nelson: I gotta say I'm surprised. The name John Pilchard is almost synonymous with Nick Dangerous.

Hart: John Pilchard's a jack of all trades Joel. Mac Johnson is a John Pilchard seal of approval away from main eventing next year's Cyberslam!

Nelson: Mac Johnson's got talent there's no question, for all my problems with John Pilchard I can't deny he made a solid acquisition.

[Mac Johnson takes his place as John Pilchard speaks.]

Pilchard: Mac Johnson. Three hundred and fifty pounds. Six foot five. More than a man, he's a machine. What you see before you is the ultimate total package. You see while all of you are talking about ASM, and Ron Wilkins, trying to decide which bonehead has the biggest muscles Mac Johnson has been right under your noses the whole time. Mac Johnson shares the same traits as the two of them with one major advantage. Brains.

[Pilchard pauses as he looks at Johnson from the feet up.]

Pilchard: Mac and I are one in the same. Just like myself, Mac Johnson is real. I mean, you're looking at the one man who wasn't afraid to tell old Thaddeus Walker to get with the times, a man who looked at a four hundred plus pound undefeated Ronnie Wilkins and said "I'm not impressed." So take a picture, take him in, but there's no need to hurry, because you'll be seeing a lot more of Mac Johnson.

[John Pilchard hands the mic to Mac as the fans continue to boo.]

Johnson: I've been a laughing stock of this organization, sure I came here with a grand purpose that we don't need to mention. I wanna thank those who beat me down and told me to get with the program. Well guess what baby, it took me awhile, but I'm with the program. I'm three hundred pounds of brute strength and speed and I've been overshadowed by an axe swinging maniac and a no neck freak! What the hell is wrong with this place, ASM this, Ron Wilkins that, BLAH BLAH BLAH! The true monster is here. I've been held down far too long and after Nuclear Warfare everyone will remember the name Mac Johnson!

[Argent's "It's Only Money Pt. 2" hits the PA system again as Mac and Pilchard make their exit.]

Hart: Mac Johnson. What a coup!

Nelson: It didn't take long for John Pilchard to find his guy. I can't disagree with his choice.

Hart: Nick Dangerous, Johnny Serious. Throw Ryne Deth in there! And now Mac Johnson. Pilchard says he's main eventing Cyberslam next year, and I believe him.

Nelson: He definitely has the talent. We gotta take a break but when we come back it's Lana Lexington going up against Natalie Mercer!

[We see a familiar sight as a camera is backstage focusing on Nick Dangerous in a poorly lit room. He glares at the camera looking miserable as he begins to speak softly.]

Dangerous: ...There's an old saying. Dying men speak true. It means that when a man is inches from the end of his rope, you should believe every word he says. But I've looked in the eyes of dying men and all I've learned is lifelines don't matter. People are pathetic.

Chazz Mendel. Boy. You've been dying for a long time, and I don't believe a word you say.

[Cameras remain focused on Dangerous, he looks to the ground as he looks to be collecting his thoughts, meanwhile transparent footage of Chazz Mendel from Full Throttle is meshed on the screen as well.]

Mendel: Nick Dangerous! Anything you can do, I can do better.

[The footage fades as Nick looks up and continues, looking as though he's beginning to fume.]

Dangerous: The only truth in knowing that the end is just around the corner is that you've become desperate. You've dodged bullets for this long, and that's extraordinary. But everyone breaks. I look in your eyes and I see a broken man. I see a man running out of options. You want to intimidate me? You can't do what I do. You can't...

[Nick Dangerous closes his eyes as he takes a deep gulp, before continues.]

Dangerous: Your decision to make a game out of this tells me you want blood on your hands.

[Nick smiles a little as his imagination runs wild.]

Dangerous: This Saturday there will be blood. Heretic's gone. I'm a Weapon out of control. Johnny Serious killed the killer, but I'm an automatic weapon with the safety off. Bullet blasting, wildfire, taking people down without hesitation, without prejudice. You should have asked you Daddy before you played with Weapons.

Hart: I don't wanna be Chazz Mendel I'll tell you that right now.

Nelson: How often do you see Nick Dangerous with a smile on his face? When he smiled and said "there will be blood." I don't know. I don't want to know what he's planning.

Hart: I wouldn't think any less of Chazz Mendel if he uttered the words "I Quit" this Sunday.

DING DING DING

Dixon: The following womens contest is scheduled for one fall!

AAAAAAH
SPLASH!

[The most epic entrance video ever plays and "Search and Destroy" by Iggy Pop begins to play and a wall of pyro shoots up in front of the entrance. When the smoke clears, the crowd can't help but cheer as Notorious JON steps out dressed in street clothes. He then dramatically points to the curtain as pyros shoot up from both sides of the ramp and Lana Lexington steps out unenthusiastically, showcasing the same look she had debuted in her tag match alongside Notorious JON.]

Dixon: Entering the ring being accompanied by Notorious JON. From Boston Massachusetts. Lanaaaa Lexxxxington!

[Fans cheer as Lana takes one look at a pandering Notorious JON before shaking her head in embarassment and walking spedily towards the ring.]

Dixon: And her opponent, Natalieeeee Mercccceeeerrrrr!

[Cameras momentarily focus on Natalie Mercer holding her arms in the air.]

Nelson: Folks a couple weeks ago we were let in on a revelation of sorts when Notorious JON revealed to the cWo world that Lana Lexington is his daughter.

Hart: That was huge!

Nelson: Since then a great distance seems to be building between them.

Hart: You know how girls are! Always unappreciative of the man of the house!

Nelson: For a Father of a twenty one year old girl he sure is attentive. I'd dare say Jon may be going through something of a midlife crisis, perhaps in part because of his new friend Victor Emmit.

Hart: Hey Victor Emmit's an old soul.

[Lexington takes to the ring as Jon stays outside in support.]

Nelson: Well we're in store for some great womens action here tonight. Natalie Mercer could perhaps rival her performance at Cyberslam tonight.

[Referee Aaron Blake calls for the bell.]

DING DING DING

Hart: I think Notorious JON at ringside is gonna make a world of difference for Lana tonight.

Nelson: Time will tell.

[Lexington offers her hand to Mercer before the action starts. Mercer responds to the gesture as the two shake hands.]

Nelson: That's always good to see. Some true sportsmanship.

[The two then circle each other.]

Nelson: Collar and elbow tie up, starting with the basic fundamentals.

[Mercer goes behind Lexington with a waistlock.]

Nelson: Lexington reverses the waistlock. But Mercer gets right back in position!

[Natalie Mercer resumes her spot with a waistlock of her own, but Lexington butts her rear end backwards and pushes Mercer off of her, and sends her back into the turnbuckle.]

Hart: Lexington with a butt butt!

Nelson: Easy now, I'm the play by play.

[Lexington catches up with Mercer in the corner, and whips her immediately to the opposite corner.]

Nelson: From corner to corner goes Mercer!

[Lexington goes after Mercer with a back handspring elbow, performing two handsprings before going in for the attack.]

Nelson: Handspring elbow misses its target.

[Mercer's able to move out fo the way at the last second. Lexington is stunned in the corner when Mercer jumps in front of her and hits a monkey flip.]

Nelson: Monkey flip by Natalie Mercer!

Hart: That's not a monkey flip!

Nelson: Let's just call it a monkey flip!

[Lexington remains on guard as she is quick to get to her feet, Mercer goes against the ropes, the fans immediately boo when Notorious JON pulls at Mercer's feet and trips her.]

Nelson: What was that!

Hart: What was what!

Nelson: Notorious JON just tripped Mercer, clear as day!

[Lana Lexington looks concerned for Mercer when Blake confuses her concern for opportunism and urges her to get back. Prompting Jon to climb on the apron shouting "hey!" When he has Blake's attention he shouts "get your hands off my daughter!" Aaron Blake fires back shouting "you can't be tripping people!" Mercer remains on the mat nursing her jaw.]

Hart: Much ado over a misunderstanding here!

[Inaudibly the referee and Lexington reprimand Jon when Mercer inserts herself back into the action, rolling up Lexington with a schoolboy.]

Nelson: Wait a minute!

ONE

TWO

Nelson: Lexington kicks out!

Hart: Jon looks like he saw a ghost!

Nelson: He's gotta be overwhelmed with guilt, and for all the wrong reasons.

[Lexington and Mercer get back to their feet as Mercer brings her back down with a dropkick.]

Nelson: Mercer with the dropkick, I guess Blake's gonna let Jon's actions slide.

Hart: Surely it was an accident.

Nelson: Another dropkick! I think Jon's getting the opposite of what he wanted in tripping poor Natalie Mercer!

[Both women get up again, this time as Mercer tries a dropkick, Lexington slaps her legs away, sending Mercer slamming against the mat.]

Nelson: Failed third dropkick attempt.

[Lexington acts quick with a magistral pin.]

Nelson: Rolls her up!

ONE

TWO

THREE

DING DING DING

Nelson: Out of nowhere!

["Search and Destroy" hits the PA system, as Mercer sits on her knees, gripping her jaw, disappointed, when Notorious JON immediately runs in the ring jumping up in down, arms held high in celebration.]

Nelson: And look a this..

Hart: Notorious JON couldn't be happier for his favorite daughter!

Nelson: He looks like he just won himself.

Hart: That's how happy he is!

Nelson: Lana's in the ring dressed like Jon, he's celebrating like he won a World Title and his music is playing! I'm sorry but this puts a bad taste in my mouth!

[Jon then stops for a moment, when he turns to Lana Lexington, and holds his arms out for a celebrational hug. Lana pushes him aside as she approaches a recovered Natalie Mercer and mouths "I'm sorry." She extends her hand.]

Nelson: Lexington, a real class act, I wish I could say the same about her father.

[Lexington and Mercer share a hug.]

Nelson: Hopefully they can get a rematch without distractions down the line.

[Jon interrupts the two as he pulls Lexington by the arm, attempting to raise her arm in victory, but she quickly pulls away, leaving the ring with Mercer.]

Nelson: If this doesn't speak volumes to Jon I don't know what will. He may have good intentions but you ask me, Lana Lexington was on her way to becoming her own entity before Jon came around.

Hart: Are you kidding? Thanks to Jon she's wrestling royalty!

Nelson: I think she'd rather be Lana Lexington than "Notorious Jon's daughter."

[Jon stands in the ring, with genuine disappointment as he watches his daughter walk away from him.]

Hart: She'll understand when she's older.

Nelson: Ugh. We'll return after the break with our main event when Raymond Jacobson takes on Andrew Phillips!

[Notorious JON and Jen Diamond sit in a locker room. NJ looks distraught.]

Notorious JON: I don't know what to do! I mean, I just want her to have the success I've had! I wanted her to win, what was so wrong?

Jen Diamond: She WANTS to win, but she wants to do it her way.

Notorious JON: But her way's kept her jerking the curtains since she's been here. I want her to be great!

Jen Diamond: She will be, you just need to find other ways to help her.

Notorious JON: I need to make this right. I need her to know she can trust me. I need some thinking music.

[He flips on the radio next to him.]

Notorious JON: Hey I got it! She needs a big pay per view match! I mean BIG! She can tag with me, and this time we'll do it right! We'll face the best of the best!

Jen Diamond: Oh yeah? Like who?

Notorious JON: Well, for starters, you?

Jen Diamond: Me?

Notorious JON: Yeah! Give Lana some hands on training. But you need a partner... but not just any partner, someone who'll put asses in seats, someone who'll give Lana a taste of what it's like to be in the big time.

Jen Diamond: I know just the guy.

[Jen notices the soft music that's playing it, identifying it as Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah"]

Jen Diamond: Is this... Leonard Cohen?

Notorious JON: Yeah. Why?

[He slides close to her.]

Jen Diamond: Are you trying to....

Notorious JON: [yawns] Boy am I tired...

[He does another big over-exaggerated lawn, then goes to put his arm around her. She quickly pops to her feet.]

Jen Diamond: I cannot believe you!

Notorious JON: What?!

[She turns and heads for the door.]

Notorious JON: What?!

[She exits, slamming the door behind her. He turns off "Hallelujah" and mumbles under his breath]

Notorious JON: ....this is the last time I let Dalmon give me advice..

[Jason Duran is standing back with cWo World Champion Johnny Serious. Serious has the cWo World Title over his shoulder.]

Duran: I'm standing with cWo World Champion, Johnny Serious. Now lately, Serious has been seen in two altercations with Andrew Phillips in which Serious has been met with The ConClusion. Johnny, you beat Heretic for the Championship, but some in the industry have questioned your passive aggression actions with Phillips.

Serious: Jason, Andrew Phillips is trying to be what Heretic was. Someone who can create anarchy. Now I admit, I have been a bit passive on Andrew Phillips, but as the saying goes, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. I have made the mistake of underestimating Andrew Phillips and his desire to obtain the World Title. However, if he wanted a match with me, all he had to do was ask.

Duran: So, are you saying that your no longer going to coward behind Tony Awesome?

Serious: Yeah....truth is Jason, Tony was there to make sure that I stay on the straight and SERIOUS path. This is, after all, Tony's show, and he wanted to distance himself from the dark days of Omega...but as I tried to tell him, and I will tell everyone now, Omega may be done, but we are far from the glory days of cWo. As long as people like Nick Dangerous and Andrew Phillips are roaming the backstage areas and the cWo arena's, then the bitter taste of Omega lingers on. I should have dealt with Andrew Phillips last week, but I won't make that mistake twice.....

[Serious walks off camera as Jason Duran is left standing along.]

Duran: Back to you guys.

[Camera goes to Nelson and Hart]

Nelson: What does he mean, he won't make that mistake twice?

Hart: I think he means he is just going to lay down for Phillips and let Phillips take that title.

Nelson: Well, Phillips has been claiming that his mission is to save Johnny from the World Title...maybe someone needs to save him from the Champion.

Benson: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, scheduled for one fall, is OUR MAAAAIINNN EVENT!! Introducing first, already in the ring, RAAYYMOND JACOBSON!!

[Raymond Jacobson raises his arms and bounces off the ropes a few times for warm-up. The lights go out in the arena and "Harvester of Sorrow" by Metallica cues on the PA. "The Comeback Kid" Andrew Phillips walks out on the ramp and looks to the crowd as the boo him. A single spotlight follows him as he walks down the ramp.]

Donna Dixon: And his opponent, from San Diego, California, weighing in at two-hundred and forty five pounds, he is "THE COMEBACK KID", AANNDDDREWWWWW PHILLIPS!

Nelson: And here comes a man who claims he's on a mission to save Johnny Serious from himself, but Serious has made it plain and clear that he wants to end Andrew's quest, right here tonight!

Hart: Well Andrew doesn't look too worried about Serious, that's for sure.

Nelson: Maybe not, but if I were Andrew, I'd be watching my back. Johnny Serious has had enough, that's for damn sure!

[Andrew slowly climbs the stairs and steps into the ring, where he's pounced on by Raymond Jacobson.]

DING DING DING!

Nelson: And Jacobson not wasting any time, attacking CBK right off the bat with the right hands and kicks! And now Jacobson tries to irish whip The Comeback Kid, but Andrew FLOORS him ith a clothesline! Jacobson almost got turned inside out after that clothesline as Andrew yanks him up by the hair, and now the hard irish whip into the corner!

[Andrew follows him in with a big time splash in he corner. Raymond has no time to recover though, as CBK starts laying into him with the knife edge chops, each one a little harder than the less. Then Andrew starts hitting him with the right hands, and then begins to put the boots into him. Raymond slumps into the corner and CBK starts to stomp on his chest and face while the ref tries to pull him away.]

Nelson: And is Andrew trying to disqualified!

Hart: Pfft, please, I think the last thing he's thinking about is trying to win a match against Raymond Jacobson of all people...

Nelson: We've seen Raymond in the past and he can be as good as anyone else on his best day, and he deserves to get treated with some respect! And now the referee finally able to pull Andrew off the attack! But "The Comeback Kid" isn't done yet.

[Andrew backs away from Jacobson to the other side of the ring, then charges forward with a big running knee right to Jacobson's head. Andrew looks out into the crowd who boo him mercilessly, then he yanks Raymond back to his vertical base and buries a knee into his stomach.]

Nelson: And Andrew now, sends Raymond for the ride into the ropes, and Jacobson comes back with a dropkick to the knee! Raymond's going to start fighting back in this match as Andrew favors that knee, and Jacobson starts in with those stiff, martial arts like kicks! Andrew's trying to cover up, but Jacobson hitting some good shots here!

Hart: Luck! Luck pure and simple!

Nelson: And now Jacobson hits the ropes, but Andrew stands up and POWERS HIM DOWN WITH THE BIG TIME SPINEBUSTER! Jacobson screaming in agony as "The Comeback Kid' shakes the cobwebs!

[Andrew rubs at his arms, then lares at Jacobson and hauls him back to his feet. Andrew hooks Jacobson up in the front face lock, than delivers a vertical suplex! Andrew hangs on though, spins his hips to get back to his vertical base and nails Jacobson with a suplex again, then repeats it again and nails another vertical!]

Hart: Oh man, he's going to do it again!

Nelson: Andrew is still hanging on here, gets back to his feet one more time and lifts Jacobson into the air, and now he DRILLS him with the brainbuster! And Andrew could pin Jacobson right here...but instead he walks away and heads towards the corner!

Hart: I think Andrew is trying to send a message to Johnny Serious! He's showing him how viscious and cruel he can be! He's going to drag this out for as long as he wants to!

Nelson: And now Andrew is going to head up top!

[Andrew climbs the to the top rope and stands up, looking the crowd, who continue to boo him. He then leaps off withe a headbutt! Jacobson cries out as Andrew stands up and cracks his neck, then motions that it's over.]

Nelson: And now Andrew is going to put Jacobson out of his misery right here as he yanks him back up to his feet. And Jacobson is still trying to fight back tries to ree himself an head for the ropes, but CBK pulls him back in and NAILS him with the ConClusion! And now it's Andrew with the cover...

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!

Light out for Raymond Jacobson, Andrew wins this match!

DING DING DING!

Donna Dixon: Your winner, "THE COMEBACK KID", ANDREWWW PHILLLIPS!!

[The ref tries to raise Andrew's arm, but he gets pushed away. Andrew begins to stomp away at Jacobson's face!]

Nelson: Oh come on! Enough is enough!

Hart: Apparently it's not!

Nelson: And now what's this...oh no, NOT THIS!

[Andrew sits down and hooks Raymond Jacobson in The BabyKiller!]

Nelson: NO NO NO! SOMEONE STOP HIM!! Andrew playing a sick tribute to his former mentor Heretic after stomping straight on Jacobson's nose! And the referee is trying to pull him off, but it's no good as Andrew pulls back hard in this whole!

Hart: And Jacobson's tappin', but I don't hink that's going to help!

Nelson: I thought once we got rid of the black cloud everything about it would disappear, but Andrew wants nothing more than to keep cWo in darkness!

[Johnny Serious comes running down to the ring as the crowd goes crazy.]

Hart: What the hell is he doing down here? He has no business out here.

Nelson: How about two ConClusions, that is business enough!

[Serious slides into the ring, gets up, and runs right towards Andrew Phillips, and takes him down and begins to deliver punch after punch.]

Nelson: This looks like the answer to passive aggressive!

[Jacobson rolls out of the ring as Serious gets up, picks Phillips up and Tosses Phillips out of the ring.]

Hart: Just like Johnny to take advantage of a man when he is down.

Nelson: What are you talking about?

Hart: Phillips just got done with a wrestling match. Serious has been lounging around backstage, taking it easy all night.

[Serious slides out of the ring, as Phillips gets up and quickly runs away from Serious up the entrance ramp.]

Nelson: And Serious is in hot pursuit of Phillips.

[Phillips runs towards the backstage area as Serious is close behind.]

Nelson: Folks, we are almost out of time, but we are going to stay with this until the end,. We are live!

[Serious enters the backstage area and is met with a hard clothesline by Phillips, sending Serious down to the floor. Phillips goes to stomp on Serious, but Serious quickly rolls to avoid the stomps, and takes Phillips down with an arm sweep.]

Nelson: Well, we heard Serious earlier mention he wasn't going to make any mistakes, I guess this is what he meant.

[Serious begins punching Phillips right in the face, left and right. Serious gets up, picking Phillips up with him and slams him hard into a set off tables stacked against the wall. Phillips falls back to the ground and Serious grabs the stack of tables and pulls them down right on top of Phillips.]

Serious: If you wanted to save me from the World Title and wanted a match, all you had to do was ask. You got your match at Warfare!!!!!

[Serious begins to walk away as Phillips begins pushing the tables aside.]

Nelson: A WORLD TITLE MATCH FOR WARFARE!!!!! What a match that will be!

Hart: Finally, Andrew Phillips gets the respect he deserves.

[As Serious is walking away, Phillips comes running from behind with a forearm to the back of the head. Serious turns around, grabbing the back of his head, ducks a right hand from Phillips, and grabs Phillips and slams him hard into the PEPSI vending machine]

Nelson: And this fight is far from over.

[A can of Pepsi falls from the Vending Machine. Serious picks it up, opens it, takes a large gulp and then spits it at Phillips.]

Hart: Ok, that was disgusting Joel, uncalled for!

[Serious drops the can, and then rams Phillips shoulder first into the wall and takes him down with some more punches to the face as security and the refs all come in and try to break up the fight.]

Nelson: Finally, someone comes in and tries to break this thing up.

[Security and the refs get this thing separated, but SERIOUS breaks through and takes Phillips down again with more punches to the face.]

Nelson: Folks, it looks like Security finally has thins thing under raps....

[As Security separates the two again, Serious trys to fight his way back to Phillips.]

Phillips : This is why you need saving Johnny...look at what the World Title has made you become...I'll save you at Warfare, Johnny...I'll save everyone...

[Andrew spits right in Serious face!! Serious strains continues to try and fight his way through Security as Phillips breaks free and begins to walk away with a smug little smile on his face as the camera turns to Serious who has his arms locked by Security!]

Serious: DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!